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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| Danyala |
| 01/30/03 at 15:07:36 |
| [slm] This one goes out to the married brothers and sisters out there...actually the single ones can answer also. How much time do you spend with your spouse? I mean is it hi, bye, off to work, back from work, eat dinner, play wid kids, then back to hi, bye again? OR do you actually have time to sit down and have meaninful conversations, spend some time doing things of mutual interest or as a couple? How have the early days of marriage differed with time in this respect? And to those that are single, what would be your expectations (realistic and ideal).... :-* [wlm] |
| Re: Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| Kathy |
| 01/31/03 at 08:54:34 |
| [slm] :o What? We are supposed to spend time with our spouse?? ;-) :-) The reality is we would like to, but it is almost impossible, unless you set aside a time. My Hubby works full time and goes to school at night. So the moment he walks in the door.. it is my free time! Out the door I go to class, volunteer, or my child's school or karate programs! This past year my Hubby became very sick. We got to spend alot of one on one time together. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed our one on ones. My recomendation is that we do loose touch and ya just gotta schedule in some adult time together...because too much time slips away if you don't take the time. [i]I am thinking of some of the young'ins on this board- the dreamy eyed girls thinking of all of the time they will share with their hubbies, all I can say is Mark my words! ;)[/i] |
| Re: Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| Maliha |
| 01/31/03 at 10:48:19 |
| [slm] I am relatively a newly wed (okay coupla months now :) ) but Alhamdullillah, I guess since we don't have kids yet etc. we do have lotsa time together. We hang out a lot, we do silly things together, we go out on "dates":), walks, lunches, etc. Ideally, even if we have children, I would like to continue this trend... He has fast become me bestest friend Alhamdullillah :-* I know reality may kick in later, and like Momma Mod said I will mark her words... but I still think its what you make of it. So Inshaallah Kheir:) Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| Re: Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| Dawn |
| 01/31/03 at 15:36:56 |
| [slm] [quote author=Danyala link=board=madrasa;num=1043957256;start=0#0 date=01/30/03 at 15:07:36] How much time do you spend with your spouse? I mean is it hi, bye, off to work, back from work, eat dinner, play wid kids, then back to hi, bye again? OR do you actually have time to sit down and have meaninful conversations, spend some time doing things of mutual interest or as a couple? [/quote] No, for us it is not "hi and bye", but on the other hand, we do make a concerted effort to spend time together on a regular basis. I think it can be all too easy to take your spouse for granted, which is why we try so hard to keep this time together, even with a toddler running around our place now. [quote]How have the early days of marriage differed with time in this respect? [/quote] You mean, after the "euphoria" has worn off? ;) Actually, we communicate better now than we did just after getting married nearly 10 (yes, 10! :o) years ago. Of course, if the communication lines are open, as time marches on, you come to understand your spouse better than you did when you married him/her, which makes future communication easier. But this requires spending that infamous "quality time" with each other. So take advantage of those "early" days, when the kids haven't yet appeared, to get in the habit of taking time for each other! 'Cause as soon as they arrive, it sure does get harder to find that time together! But I can honestly say that, while my husband was also my best friend when we got married, in comparison, he is now my "bestest, bestest" friend! (Yeah, I know it sounds sappy ::), but it's true.:-*) |
| 01/31/03 at 15:39:36 |
| Dawn |
| Re: Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| Danyala |
| 01/31/03 at 18:24:12 |
| [slm] Awww, keep em comin', this is really interesting! ;D I am thinking of some of the young'ins on this board- the dreamy eyed girls thinking of all of the time they will share with their hubbies, all I can say is Mark my words! Can always rely on good advice from you sis Kathy! I guess since we don't have kids yet.... even with a toddler running around our place now... Aaaah, so its the kids that do the taking over! Anyone else wanna disagree? we do silly things together, we go out on "dates... Soooo sweeet! :D [wlm] :-* |
| Re: Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| readagain |
| 01/31/03 at 19:03:24 |
| [slm] (can i add to this qs plzzzzzzzzzz ) :) ..also do u ever get bored of ur spouse..but still in love..like , after talking and talking do u feel like "hmmmmmmmm now what ??? " ?? |
| Re: Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| BroHanif |
| 02/01/03 at 04:43:10 |
| Hmm interesting post, No we do kinda spend together but I wish at times we could do more. Life is kinda busy but its what you make of it I guess. We both get to spend time together in the evenings and that is a must, however, commitments of dawah and other activities take up as well. Right now is a bit hard to go out, the weathers not ideal for a toddler but in the summer we spend a lot of time outdoors. Once a little trooper comes in your family, your life changes from being wifey and husband to one of being a family. You've always go to think I might be ok doing this but will my toddler be ok, thats when you can't easily go to pictures or long walks or staying up late. As for the best friend syndrome well wifey shes still my friend but I've got a new friend my daughter, whos exactly the same as me in nearly all respects. Follows me everywhere and does exactly as I do. Its a surprise that I can even type this post without her asking me to put Zain Bhika on. May Allah bless me with more children, Ameen. Salaams Hanif |
| NS |
| Re: Is your spouse still your friend? |
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| BrKhalid |
| 02/01/03 at 07:02:22 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote]Its a surprise that I can even type this post without her asking me to put Zain Bhika on[/quote] :D Kids huh? ;-) |
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