A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| A Good Husband |
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| jannah |
| 02/06/03 at 03:16:31 |
| Hmmm what do you guys think of this poem? A Good Husband By Abu Jameelah He is not an oppressive, chauvinistic, and tyrannical leader, Making her life a battle where he must always defeat her. He takes the time to notice what she has to give, He does not have her in a home, yet it is no place to live. He does not come to her having any form of aggression, Causing her to have great fear, doubt, and depression. He is the one to bring her the pleasures of being her mate, Never leaving her in a motionless and suspended state. He?s always there when he?s needed, To ensure her expectations are exceeded. She calls upon him because it is her right too, He habitually accepts the responsibility of what he has to do. Making her feel when the world is against her that he?s by her still, To die saving and protecting her only for Allah?s Will. He does not allow any man to approach her or to come close in any way, And if any man does he will surely see his last day. When he opens the door he brings the salutations, He always bestows upon her prayers and blessed invitations. He rules her with wisdom and balance of heart, He builds her self-esteem up and doesn?t rip it apart. He consoles her with words of compassion that embraces her soul, He never turns his back to her with a shoulder that?s cold. He realizes her nature by Allaah cannot be changed or made straight, Created from the rib that is curved, so his patience must carry the weight. He must always be this way as best as he can, He must avoid being like the wicked and shameless man. Her being a pious woman along with him goes hand and hand, Insha Allaah, this will aid him in being A Good Husband. |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| Halima |
| 02/06/03 at 05:00:08 |
| It is a very nice poem except for this part; [He does not allow any man to approach her or to come close in any way, And if any man does he will surely see his last day]. But I hope this is in a positive sense and not the repressive one. I pray of all younger sisters who wish to marry to meet such a man! And for the sisters who a married, may your men be such a gallant man. No offense to my brothers here. I know brothers who are very good men/husbands. Halima |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| jaihoon |
| 02/06/03 at 14:51:29 |
| "He must always be this way as best as he can" AS BEST AS HE CAN! which is what human beings are all about ::) |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 02/06/03 at 19:32:09 |
| [slm] wow but all i can say is "in my dreamz!!!" hmm can of you secretly mail that to my future fiance? :P JazakAllahu Kairon for the poem Jannah. Is there one for a good wife, because I would more than love to see it. take care your sis |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| Dude |
| 02/07/03 at 00:12:16 |
| [quote]He does not allow any man to approach her or to come close in any way, And if any man does he will surely see his last day[/quote] Dodgy, but that happens to be how most of us feel. (At least us good ones. ;)) |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| Tesseract |
| 02/07/03 at 03:26:44 |
| [quote]He does not allow any man to approach her or to come close in any way, And if any man does he will surely see his last day. [/quote] This part stands out too odd. The rest is all good and appealing, but this just shows too much exaggeration of emotions. I think the poem is much better without that part. Wassalam. |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| jannah |
| 02/07/03 at 04:38:14 |
| slm, Yeah that part is surely strange.. along with " He rules her " ? but i guess the sentiments are nice :) here's to finding one sistahs [] I couldn't find any poem for a 'wife' but i found an article talking about what to look for.. i'll post it in the ikhwan inshallah man imagine if we banned the marriage topic...then we'd seriously be in trouble for lack of topics! |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| sista |
| 02/14/03 at 20:11:19 |
| [slm] [quote]He does not allow any man to approach her or to come close in any way, And if any man does he will surely see his last day. [/quote] Hmm...wish I could say that of my hubby :( Prefer possessiveness to liberalism. But thats owing to personal experience I guess. [wlm] |
| 02/14/03 at 20:11:49 |
| sista |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| Tesseract |
| 02/14/03 at 20:36:48 |
Assalamu 'alaikum wa Rahmatullah, [quote]Prefer possessiveness to liberalism. But thats owing to personal experience I guess[/quote] Possessiveness is good, but to an extent, not to extremes like that they start bothering the spouse. The problem is I have seen husbands being possessive about their wives, but wives do not like their husbands' being 'so much' possessive and similarly vice versa for wives being possessive of their husbands. This possessiveness itself has resulted and can easily result in feud between husband and wife. So, I think both should try to be moderate in it. Wallahu A'lam. Wassalam. |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| Dude |
| 02/15/03 at 12:18:25 |
| It’s all about mutual respect and trust. Everyone has seen family members go through ugly divorce just because these things were lacking. It’s happening to some of my friends, too. Blame is often skewed more towards one side than the other (i.e.: adultery), but in the end, both parties share blame. Both my sister and sister in law are victims of abusive relationships where the husbands committed affairs. One was a devout Muslim man, the other a devout Catholic. Go figure. My best friend is now married, and his wife is so possessive that the only time we see each other anymore is for early morning squash games- because we can play before she wakes up! It’s become absurd! I know he’s going to snap one day, because I hear the frustration in his voice. He’s going nuts, and it has only been two years! What I don’t understand is he doesn’t have the courage to stand up to her, and demand a bit of freedom. Possessiveness like this is a clear lack of trust. Well, now I’m just griping! I’m, a bitter, bitter man! I want my buddy back! On the issue of men approaching your wife, what often gets forgotten is that it is easy to identify a married woman. When I was single and looking for a nice girl, I would be sure to find out if the girl was in a relationship first, before making an approach. Easy to do. It’s called respect towards your fellow man. If and when (because it has happened on a few occasions, and puts Mrs. Dude in a very uncomfortable situation) a guy chooses to come on to my wife, I’m happy to have a talk with him and give him a bloody nose for his troubles. |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| panjul |
| 02/16/03 at 02:08:41 |
| [slm] Spot on Dude. :) When a friend of mine was married I was very jelouse because of her husband. :) I am over it now. I guess he has more right to spend time with her. But now that i'm married myself, I have less time to spend with my friends. But the first time i went over to her house after she got married.... man.... it was awkward. I didn't know what to do. I usually opened her fridge as soon as I would walk through the front door, but i sat there uncomfortably and trying to laugh at her husband's jokes. But mashalah he's very nice, she told him about my jelousy and how I felt uncomfortable around him, so he would leave and give us time to spend together in the beginning. But i'm used to him now and gotten over my jelousy. |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| se7en |
| 02/17/03 at 05:50:31 |
| a good wife by umm bint se7en they're coupled by their journey more than by what they both have signed; they weaved together their two fates in search of love of the divine. their hearts lined up, their parents met, they talked and then agreed their bond was more than chemistry, but to help them both succeed - succeed in knowing Him, and finding refuge in His care; so they can build a home in jannah for the two of them to share. they strive, and hope, and fear, and dream, and live their lives as one and by her noor his heart is lit, like the moon is from the sun. she is wife, warrior, knowledge seeker, teacher, student, mother; inspiration, secret keeper, companion like no other she is strong, soft, weak, hard, fierce and sometimes tender she makes mistakes, slips and prays, but his heart is at her center. her allure is not her heated gaze or in her sculpted face but in the garden within herself and the beauty of that place. nourished with His remembrance and blooming with devotion, their doors are shut to everyone except to the man she's chosen. she is neither his master, nor his slave, nor something in between but simply a heart linked with his, both hearts seeking Him in deen. ... best I could do at 5:30 in the am ;) wasalaamu alaykum :-) |
| 02/18/03 at 01:11:09 |
| se7en |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| jaihoon |
| 02/17/03 at 07:03:57 |
| [quote author=se7en link=board=bookstore;num=1044519393;start=0#11 date=02/17/03 at 05:50:31]a good wife ... best I could do at 5:30 in the am ;) [/quote] wow... talking abt DEDICATED ppl for creaivity :) jazak Allah khair |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 02/18/03 at 17:10:38 |
| [slm] Jazak Allahu Kayron Se7en. That is very beautiful. You are very talented, Mash'Allah. Regards, your sister |
| Re: A Good Husband |
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| Nafisa |
| 02/19/03 at 08:15:20 |
| [slm] I really like the poems that have been posted so far. I found a poem that may help to address the issue of possessiveness of one's spouse. It's in the section of Kahlil Gibran’s poem 'The Prophet' titled 'On Marriage'. [color=Teal]Let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together but not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.[/color] |
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