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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Is he not pretty enough? |
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| Kathy |
| 02/10/03 at 22:20:59 |
| [slm] Ah, another spin off topic... Girls how would you feel about marrying a man with a long bushy beard, pants that rode above his ankles and a turban on his head? |
| 02/11/03 at 07:42:36 |
| Kathy |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| deenb4dunya |
| 02/10/03 at 22:29:27 |
| yukh! .. unless he was a shaikh... :D Deen ;D |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| sister2sister |
| 02/10/03 at 23:16:40 |
salaam >Girls how would you feel about marrying a man with a long bushy beard, >pants that rode above his ankles and a turban on his head? :-[ that's pretty deep right there. I'd have to really like and respect the brother. But, what could I say in my long dress (jilbaab), and hijab :D We'd both look like we stepped out from one of the tales of "the arabian nights" ;D YSII :-) |
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| panjul |
| 02/11/03 at 01:42:40 |
| [slm] long silky beard is good. some men do have one. no pants above the knees. kufi's fine. turban is ok when i want him to look like he's some arabian prince from days long gone. :) |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| GulMuslima |
| 02/11/03 at 13:20:10 |
| [slm] I wouldn't really have a problem with a brother who had the beard, turban, pants rolled up thingy going on. Maybe because my Father is heavily into tablighi jamaat and thats what he looks like LoL. But I think it's nice in a way that they wear clothes to distinguish themselves, like sisters who wear hijab. Of course it would depend on his personality and deen how he dressed would just be an added bonus. ;) |
| 02/11/03 at 13:21:14 |
| GulMuslima |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| sista |
| 02/11/03 at 19:20:51 |
| [slm] I know a bro like that..were it not for other obstructive factors I wouldn't mind at all...! ;) A man of deen's a man of deen. Period. :) [wlm] |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| Emerald |
| 02/11/03 at 23:55:51 |
| long bushy beard?! :-/ Dunno 'bout that but I do find that a nice trimmed beard approximately 1- 1.5 inches long is quite nice . Just like this bro ;-) ...... :-/ :-/ :-/ As for the pants above his ankles.....that would be fine if he was making wudoo! ;D The turban...eh so so....Maybe if I were back in the Mid-east. |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| AyeshaZ |
| 02/12/03 at 02:35:16 |
ha ha well if he really is practicing it inside out and not just pretending to be something hez not!!! and than ofcourse how do you ever know whats in his heart... when it comes to marriage... you just know!! :) |
| 02/12/03 at 02:38:19 |
| AyeshaZ |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| Caraj |
| 02/12/03 at 02:37:02 |
| Long bushy beard, um... no :P I tend to side with Emerald, neatly trimmed please :) Pants above the ankle??? Maybe if we were walking on the beach ;D turban? Er... Um..... No thank you... But Now I have to warn you sisters, I can tell you from experience you can't always judge a book by its cover. Knowing the type I was attracked to in my past I am ashamed to admit had my husband come up to me in public before I met him I would not have taken time to get to know him. He's not a bad looking man at all, just wasn't my type. I liked the cowboy type ::) Thank God I got to know the man, the real man before we met. (for over a year) Had I not, I would of missed out on the most wonderful husband and the very best friend a woman could ask for. What a blessing. God knows best :) As for the pants (hehe) if anyone cares to know how to get a hubby to wear what you want him to ask me :-/ I have a sure way that works ;D |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| Road2Jannah |
| 02/12/03 at 09:54:49 |
| [slm] Its very interesting how every1 replied. I personally always felt more attracted to the long beard/above ankle/turban or kufi kind of a guy. I mean u always have to go with wat the sunnah says, so why wouldn’t i marry a bro with that description if his niya is to follow the sunnah. Also I always felt that a beard shows a sort of wisdom. Of course the beard will not be that bushy cause he will take care of it, as the rasul did. I think with my hijab, it would go well with his turban and bushy beard lol. As bro Hanif said, real men have beards lol. So my feeling about the "long bushy beard, pants that rode above..." is that it would not discourage me on giving him a chance for the niya of marriage. It would actually raise him to a very high level in my eyes. Tho as sis AyeshaZ said, he has to be religious, not just a show. that's all.... |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| sofia |
| 02/12/03 at 17:13:19 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah If sisters can try to emulate the believing women of the Prophet's time (saws), why can't brothers try to emulate the Prophet (s) and his sahabahs? True, we're only talking about dress code, but I find it *really* odd when I see a Muslimah who is properly covered, walk alongside her husband, who's wearing a T-shirt and tight jeans and clean-cut. We should be encouraging our brothers to take up the sunnah (which includes clothing to a certain extent), just as we encourage our sisters not to dress exactly like the kuffar. Alhamdulillah, it's not all that uncommon here, especially not at the masaajid, to see thobe-wearing, bushy-beard brothers. Turban and all, sometimes. But admittedly, it's rare in most places in the US, unfortunately. If not that, than at least loose pants, a shirt that's not tucked in, and like, some kind of facial hair. Done for the sake of Allah, I can't imagine it would be any harder for a brother than for a sister who starts to cover properly. Allahu A'lim. For those brothers that do not yet, may Allah help them start to. [I know I know, some brothers may bring up the point that more brothers are in the "public sphere" so have to be more conscious of what they wear if they live in the West. I have no comment for that. This is an issue in the non-West, as well] Masha'Allah, I know a sister who does not cover much at all yet (may Allah help her start soon), whose ideal (ie, the type of bro she wants to marry, iA) is a bushy-bearded, high-water-pants/thobe-wearing brother. Basically, exactly like the description above. Unfortunately, I also know some hijaabis who'd prefer a clean-cut brother. To know the Qur'aan and Sunnah, is to try to follow the Qur'aan and Sunnah. May Allah help us all love the Qur'aan/Sunnah. [Btw - when it comes to deciding whether or not to marry an unattractive person to you, that's somewhat of a different ballgame (or maybe it's just me). Allaahu A'lim] |
| NS |
| 02/12/03 at 17:22:06 |
| sofia |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| Duha |
| 02/12/03 at 20:35:57 |
| [slm] Yeah i think its important for the brothers to have a beard,wear a thobe or something..anything that'll make them appear muslim just like we wear the hijabs. Im talking my husband into growing a beard;)..Ive told him pple wont be wishing him salam if i wasnt with him ;D...wallahu alam.. |
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| Barr |
| 02/13/03 at 02:27:56 |
| Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah [quote]If not that, than at least loose pants, a shirt that's not tucked in, and like, some kind of facial hair. [/quote] Wot's wrong with a tucked in shirt? [quote][Btw - when it comes to deciding whether or not to marry an unattractive person to you, that's somewhat of a different ballgame (or maybe it's just me). Allaahu A'lim] [/quote] It's me too! :-* [quote] As for the pants (hehe) if anyone cares to know how to get a hubby to wear what you want him to ask me :-/ I have a sure way that works ;D [/quote] Spill! ...mm.. pretty please? :-* Allahua'lam |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| muslimah853 |
| 02/13/03 at 09:48:06 |
| [quote author=sofia link=board=sis;num=1044933660;start=0#10 date=02/12/03 at 17:13:19]As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah True, we're only talking about dress code, but I find it *really* odd when I see a Muslimah who is properly covered, walk alongside her husband, who's wearing a T-shirt and tight jeans and clean-cut. We should be encouraging our brothers to take up the sunnah (which includes clothing to a certain extent), just as we encourage our sisters not to dress exactly like the kuffar. Alhamdulillah, it's not all that uncommon here, especially not at the masaajid, to see thobe-wearing, bushy-beard brothers. Turban and all, sometimes. But admittedly, it's rare in most places in the US, unfortunately. [/quote] [slm] This is now morphing into another conversation :) I have absolutely no problem with brothers dressing in "sunnah" clothing per se, and I do understand where much of the encouragement to brothers to dress in some way which identifies them as Muslims comes from. Hijab wearing sisters are of necessity identified as Muslimahs, so what's good for the goose... On the other hand, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. As I see it, Islam is a worldwide phenomenon, and while all of the cultures of Islam share the characterisitic of modesty, that modesty isn't necessarily expressed in cookie cutter fashion. My husband and I are both American culturally, but Muslims, and most of the time, we are both wearing Islamically appropriate Western style clothing (and he has a beard). I don't have anything against jilbabs or shalwar kameez, sometimes I wear both, but I guess I take issue with the idea that Western style clothing is of necessity out. (I'm don't necessarily believe that's what you were saying Sofia, I'm just ranting here). American clothing can in fact be modest---though admittedly, these days it's sometimes tough--but I've been struggling since I converted to find a balance between remaining who I am culturally to the extent that it is beneficial for my deen, and simply making adjustments and improvements on those aspects of my personality and culture which are at odds with the shari'a. But from some Muslims with roots elsewhere, we're always bombarded with the idea that everything Western/American is bad, "from the kuffar", and should be done away with. Again, not accusing anyone of saying this, but general observations from conversations like these over the years. My husband's co-workers see and interact with a Muslim who is not foreign, my family sees that I haven't morphed into some unrecognizable stranger who has rejected everything she ever knew, etc. People, Muslims and non-Muslims alike, need to understand that there are Muslims who are not from the East, either directly or by lineage. For the same reason, I have chosen to keep my given name. Islam is becoming more and more common here, and it is becoming a part of this landscape as well. And as that happens, we will see more and more Muslims who are culturally "Western" in many ways, and hopefully we will not demand of them that they sever ties to who they are. I pray to Allah that the day will come when it will not even raise eyebrows here anymore. I don't know if this makes any sense at all, and I hope I haven't offended anyone. I want to reiterate that I wasn't accusing anyone in this thread of anything, just venting about a phenomenon. [wlm] |
| NS |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| theOriginal |
| 02/13/03 at 10:24:08 |
| [slm] My tuppence: Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with it...but the way I see it....someone who dresses like that would, generally speaking, have certain expectations of his wife which, generally speaking, I don't see myself fulfilling. Anyway, it depends on the guy, really...but if some guy (as described above) showed up at my door, methinks I would be very hesitant. Unless he turned out to have a winning personality and a hype sense of humor...yeh then, he might have a better shot. :) Interesting question, btw...it really made me think. But I guess I just wouldn't subject a guy like that to marrying me, because I already know I'm not hiz type. Wasalaam. SF. |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| sofia |
| 02/13/03 at 10:44:48 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah [quote]American clothing can in fact be modest---though admittedly, these days it's sometimes tough[/quote] I hear you on that, sis muslimah853. Although I used the term, "thobe," I meant to emphasize loose clothing for men, by whatever ya wanna call it. A thobe is one example. Loose pants and a loose shirt, is another example. And in parallel to the "A Woman's Awrah" thread in this folder, I didn't mean to emphasize the clothing of one culture over another (although I agree, it sounded like it). As I mentioned in that thread, I, myself, and am not a big fan of the "traditional" style jilbaab. There are many other alternatives that fit the criteria, walhamdulillah. Islam, as you said, is a world-wide phenomenon. There are various styles of covering, for men and for women. By "kufaar" clothing, I had actually meant the phenomenon of tight, not-really-covering type clothing. I am not of the "all things western, is kufr" persuasion. Sorry for the confusion, and I hope this makes more sense, insha'Allah. [quote]Wot's wrong with a tucked in shirt?[/quote] Glad you asked. [Moderators, I don't want to get into the fiqh issues either, cuz I'm not qualified. I just think it's as important to mention properly covering for women, as it is for men.] Remember the womens' awrah thread I mentioned above? In it, I meant to give suggestions on how to correctly cover from the navel to the knees (although most of her body is considered her awrah), which is also the main awrah of a man. The main point I wanted to get across was 1) covering with an opaque cloth, and 2) covering loosely. Same idea for men as for women. So a shirt that's tucked in versus not, is just another way to emphasize loose-ness. There are other factors and a *lot* of room for argument on this, like with many other issues I'll try not to get into. :) I wanted to "throw it out there" as an alternative to thobes, a long qamees, or other "culturally" or traditionally loose clothing. Like with women's clothing, there are "western" alternatives for the brothers. Ask a shaykh about the specific fiqh-issues. Allahu A'lim, forgive me if I've offended anyone. |
| 02/13/03 at 10:45:22 |
| sofia |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| Caraj |
| 02/13/03 at 15:46:44 |
| [quote author=Barr link=board=sis;num=1044933660;start=0#12 date=02/13/03 at 02:27:56]Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah Spill! ...mm.. pretty please? :-* Allahua'lam [/quote] Ok Barr here it is, I admit it is a bit sneaky but it is true and I was never lying to him 8) My hubby like some men have no idea what colors go together and what makes one look like a lit up christmas tree :P When hubby puts on something that doesn't match or does not look good on him I take something out of the closet(usually two items so he can pick) and say something like... You Know Honey these sure make you look sharp. (or) hey Babe, these sure make you look like a hunk. One night I took out a pr of jeans and botton up collar shirt and told him if what it does to my heart when I see him in these. (and it did make my heart say... hmmmm what a hunk of a hubby I have) Ok I know thats a bit prideful but isn;t it ok for hubbys to be pleasing to a wifes eyes? He wore them :-/ manipulative ...... Yes Truthful................Yes worked.................Yes What hubby doesn't want his wife to be very pleased with him and visa versa. hmmm (sigh) [] |
| 02/13/03 at 15:49:19 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| AyeshaZ |
| 02/15/03 at 04:08:08 |
aslamu alykum, I personally can never stick to just one type of modest clothing, alhamdulliah there are so many modest styles.. Mixing and matching from different cultures is the way to go ;).. But my personal fav now a days is kamees and pants.. knee lenght kamees and skrit looks really nice as well.. :-) |
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| hiJabeeThug |
| 02/26/03 at 23:31:27 |
| [slm] am kinda late though n e wayz AM CWAZY BOUT GUYS WITH BUSHY HAIR well 2 /3 FIST KHALAAS !! ;-) <----see *drewls* SUNNAH PRINCE |
| Re: Is he not pretty enough? |
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| Barr |
| 02/27/03 at 05:43:46 |
| Salam :) [quote]BUSHY HAIR [/quote] Bushy hair ?! :o U know the first thing that came into my mind when I read that is... Bushy tails ... which Reminds me of squirrels... which Reminds me of hedgehogs which Reminds me of this guy. ;D [img]http://usa.venus.co.uk/weed/agifs/images83/sonic.gif[/img] Ok, Ok... :) I'll answer the q :P [quote]Girls how would you feel about marrying a man with a long bushy beard, pants that rode above his ankles and a turban on his head? [/quote] I feel, that a bro, who dresses up like that, has his definition of wot sunnah entails of which he believes in and strives to follow, inshaAllah. And most probably, he has a set of principles and thoughts on how he and his future family should practice Islam. So I'd like to know and confirm his principles and thoughts and observe his akhlaq first, before considering.... Upon saying that, I'd say the same for a bro who's got no beard, wears a beret, a sporran and a kilt... just gotta make sure them kilt goes below the knee :) Allahua'lam ~A Neat-not-MessyNest Beard Sis:-)~ |
| 02/27/03 at 08:37:33 |
| Barr |
| Bearded and Harsh??? |
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| Maliha |
| 03/06/03 at 08:53:22 |
| [slm] I think its awesome if a man decided to follow the sunnah, but one thing i would ask the sisters to do...is look at his *compassion* and *kindness* level. I have admittedly few but really telling experiences with men who tend to be overtly religious and that is they really lack a sense of kindness and compassion in them. When I was "prospecting", i had a choice between a guy with those characteristics but very "brash" and opinionated and "this is halal" "this is haram" "black and white" type thing... and a guy who sports a goatie, tucks in his shirt, but has excellent Akhlaaq, and is sooo sweet and kind its overwhelming... it doesn't take a genius to figure out which one i chose ;) So basically, if a man dresses like that and more importantly embodies the spirit of *Imaan* and Ihsaan then WOW! Mashaallah go for it:) But if he is a shell void of the beauty and gentleness of The Rasul [saw], he aint worth it sis:) Sis, A Nesty_But_Kind_ Sis, Maliha :-) |
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