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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Another Hajj account from this year |
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| jannah |
| 02/28/03 at 00:15:15 |
| Hajj: A journey into the Heart By: S. Sabeen Alam I wasn?t sure what to expect, even though I had done my homework. I was still aloof. Feeling unprepared for what was about to hit my heart. As the journey began, my heart could not contain the flood of mixed feelings. People were gathering from all walks of life, strain, fear, anticipation, humility, hope and absolute submission marked on their faces. I was imperceptible and trivial amidst the devotees. Elderly were the first to catch my attention. Their courage and strength was commendable. The hope hiding behind their wrinkles were crying out to be acknowledged and redeemed. They had left everything behind, and all they could see before them was an anticipation to meet their Lord. Tears flowing as fervor of His Eternal Presence grew deeper. It was a moment that could only be captured by the heart alone?..no words would do justice. Numerous challenges and obscurity was met along the way?. I realized soon enough that patience was the first lesson I needed to hold on to firmly. The eyes would witness what it did not want to see, the ears would hear all sorts of unpleasant accounts, the soul would feel many negative forces that could easily lead astray a heart that?s trying to focus. My second lesson was evident: I needed to keep myself detached and impassive by what was going around, even if it bothered me. I needed to stay humble and vigilant. I could not jeopardize the state of my heart, which needed to be alert, at all costs. It was a task which was not easily mastered. Mina??. It was a plat form for preparing the soul for the ultimate awareness. Everyone was engulfed in sheer silence?? and it seemed like no one cared about anything at that point except for what was about to come the day after??.. THE DAY OF ARAFAA. Two night and one day was spent in contemplation, meditation and stripping off the veils of darkness??in hope for salvation. It was an inward excursion of stringent self evaluation. The following day, people hastened in preparation of the most sacred day? the Arafaa day. The day when Allah in His infinite mercy forgives, not only the previous sins, but the proceeding looming ones as well??if He finds the soul worthy. He is the judge alone. In sheer humility and fear, love and hope, we all were eager to advance towards the prelude of Judgment day. It was breathtaking to see thousands upon thousands marching towards the plane, crying out His oneness and proclaiming their presence before their Lord. Eyes were dazzled in an awe to see devotees of that magnitude. Certainly, it was a day of spiritual reformation and deep awakening. Every soul, ever so ready to meet their Lord, to beg for pardon for all their errs, to be accepted through His divine mercy, to be cleansed spiritually, to be stimulated with passion and love, ever lasting. It was a day of realization, that how insignificant our lives are and how much we have spent our days in vain. A life which was entrusted to us, was led by endless desires??.yet today it all became an illusion. It was all so clear. We were here??.. all the same before God??.. accepting His majesty and denying our trivial existence. Everything became an illusion before His Glory. The heart could reflect His eternal light, and everything melted in that moment of brilliance. What was before was absolute reality, what was behind mattered no more. We were there, right before Him, with shivering hearts and insatiable souls. This was more than a mere ritual. Here, there were no judges. No one could tell who proceeded the other in righteousness or rank. Here everyone was one??. The brightness of that day lit up the hearts and souls, and made the unseen ever so evident and vivid. It was like God giving us a chance to redeem our selves, before the day arrives when no soul will be given a second chance. This was it. It had to be now or never. We were being prepared for the final day, we were shown the actuality of the day, in this life of delusion, before the real judgment day befalls us. We were given an opportunity?? before our time is up. Under our feet lay the same plane, which will disallow us to even move on that Decisive Day. It drew the real self into awakening. To stand there, shoulder to shoulder, under the scorching sun, hands spread out to beg for mercy, souls withered with remorse, and tears prompting never to stop became the hallmark of that blessed day!! Who in their right minds could unleash this grandeur mercy!!! Sense of peace penetrated all over, touching every cell in the body in reassurance and hope. It was HIS infinite compassion, and not our trifling efforts. We had escaped time, and nothing was more dearer than Who was before us. Our faiths were endorsed and our hearts purified??.yet our hearts were still not ready to depart and take leave. The following feat was to collect pebbles from Muzdalifah to stone the Jamarats, symbols of Satan, in commemoration of Prophet Abraham and his trials in the way of submitting his total will to Allah?s will. The sweetness of total surrender in love could be experienced, if followed very receptively through his revered footsteps. The night was to be spent under the open sky?.. without any pillows to cushion, without any warm mattresses to comfort. This was reality in it?s naked form. A crash course on taming the lower self, by letting go of pride and ego. A chance to revert and acknowledge our insignificant selves. A reminder, as travelers of this shallow dwelling we call WORLD. Sleeping under the vast sky gave an opportunity to magnify Allah in the twinkling of the stars and to feel Him closer than the jugular vein. Every soul was tested, with one thing or the other. Over and over again with hardships that at times seemed never ending. But the zeal of love would over take the exhaustion of the body. The crowd was beyond measure, making it nearly impossible to carry on. Then the eyes would meet those destitute travelers whose condition was more deplorable than any. That gave me strength and courage to go on. After the stoning of Jamarat, we returned to celebrate the grand finale ?.. Eid ul Adha. The sacrifice had been done, and the joy of knowing that hundreds of hungry poor would be fed, erased all traces of fatigue and enduring hardships. It was all so worth it!!! Makkah was our next stop. The moment the eyes set upon the Holy Kabaa, everything else became non existent. It seemed to have drawn out the very sense of ?I?. There was none but HIM. Despite the enormity of pilgrims, somehow the grand mosque had generously welcomed in it?s arms 2.2 million hajjis all at once. The greatest annual religious gathering of the world by statistics!!! And amazingly enough, it keeps growing!! The entire day we were on our feet?? it took us 11 hours on foot continuously in order to complete one day cycle of fulfilling the rituals. For some, it took them nearly 16 hours!! No man can survive this amount of extreme bustle, unless charged by Allah himself. It is unimaginable to even comprehend. But faith indeed makes all things possible. After all, this was Hajj??. and it was not meant to be easy. The last day ??.. the sky unexpectedly filled up with heavy clouds. Where as the preceding days, there was no sign of rain??but the blazing sun with it ?s merciless heat was all we could feel. But today, it was all so different. It started to drizzle??. Some of the hajjis? came running inside the tent, giving the good news: Rain is mercy from Allah, we are all hopeful that our Hajj has been accepted!!! Upon such a glad tiding, some started to sob and some ran outside to get drenched. I was one to leave the tent to feel the rain drops on my face wanting so much to be exposed to His touch?? He was so near. Nearer than I was to myself. An overwhelming feeling of intimacy with Allah over powered me. Tears new no confines, no reservations. There were many along with me now. All enriched with similar experiences. It was now time to bid farewell. The heart was sinking in the deepest pits of sorrow. It had found a home but new it could not reside therein. Ahead lay a new beginning, with new promises and new state of mind. In a complete sense of the word, a new life awaited us. As we hugged and kissed all our companions adieu, we realized how close we had become. One entire family, under one roof, in a few days. Our joys and sorrows had become one. We had shared the sadness, we had joined hands in trying times and we had even rejoined together. It was the tradition of our last messenger Mohammad, Peace and blessing be upon him, which was alive and was being witnessed. The brotherhood and the sisterhood, the coming together of hearts and minds turned into ever lasting friendship. Upon return, everything was different now. The world we perceived to be so real, was not genuine anymore. Nothing mattered, nothing held value. The sense was devoid of accepting this life to be as it appears, hence the words of Allah made more sense than ever before: Beware; the life of this world is nothing but a pastime, a momentary delight. It is but empty bragging, a pursuit of wealth and children. It is like the vegetation that flourishes after rain and is a source of delight to the farmer; but soon it turns yellow and withers away, crumbling into worthless waste. But in the life to come an eternal contentment or a grievous suffering awaits you. The life of this world is only an illusion. Quran Hajj: it lifts up the veils of ignorance and false deities (desires, wishes, beloved, wealth, children, spouses etc) and adheres the heart where it once was. It reverts the face of spirit back to it?s original dwelling, right before Allah. Indeed, hajj purifies, not only from sins, but from the diseases of the heart and soul. Rejuvenating that which was lost??. |
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