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Guidance from the Prophet: Family care
amatullah
03/10/03 at 20:30:10
Guidance from the Prophet: Family care

Adil Salahi, Saudi Arabia.
[ Questions and comments can be e-mailed to Br. Salahi at:
islam@arabnews.com ]


No one was more caring and loving of his family than the Prophet. His
kindness was exemplary. Everyone of his household spoke of his
kindness.
Indeed even those who served him spoke of his exemplary conduct. One of
them stated that he spent ten years in the Prophet’s service and the
Prophet never told him off for any mistake he made or omission of any
task. But the Prophet was also a model husband and a model father. One
of his dearest relatives was his youngest daughter, Fatimah.

Aishah, the Prophet’s wife reports: "I have never seen anyone who was
closer to the Prophet in conversation, speech or the way they sat than
Fatimah. When the Prophet saw her coming, he welcomed her and stood up
to greet her and kissed her. He would then take her hand in his hand
and
seat her in his position. If the Prophet went to visit her, she would
welcome him and stand to greet him and kiss him. Once she came to him
when he was in his last illness, shortly before he died. He welcomed
her
and kissed her and whispered something in her ear. She cried.

Then he whispered to her again and she laughed. I said to other women,
‘I used to think that this woman has a higher status than other women,
but I see that she is just like them. She laughs just as she is
crying.’
I asked her what the Prophet said to her, and she answered, ‘If I tell,
I would be unworthy of a secret.’ After the Prophet’s death she said,
‘He whispered to me that he was to die soon and I cried. Then he told
me
that I would be the first of his household to join him, and I was
pleased with that’." (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad,
Al-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood and Al-Nassaie).

The first thing to say about this Hadith is the close relationship
between the Prophet and his youngest daughter, Fatimah. We find in his
behavior toward her something that is rarely done by a father. He was
apparently very pleased to see her at any time. He would welcome her at
a distance, and then would stand to greet her and he would kiss her.
Fathers may have a very close relation with their sons or daughters,
and
they may spoil their daughters, but it is rarely the case that a father
would stand to greet his daughter and kiss her. Fatimah would do the
same every time her father, the Prophet, visited her.

The particular occasion this Hadith deals with is one of the latest in
the Prophet’s life. He was in his last illness, shortly before his
death. Fatimah’s presence gave him pleasure which is indicated in his
greeting and whispering to her, giving her first the sad news of his
approaching death, and then the happier news that she would be the
first
to join him. Again this reiterates their close relationship.

In this Hadith we have the statement of Aishah, one of the closest
relatives of the Prophet remarking on the close similarity between the
Prophet’s manner in his speech and movement and that of her step
daughter, Fatimah, the youngest of the Prophet’s children. She makes a
further comment later in this Hadith, stating that she used to think
very highly of Fatimah, but when she saw her crying then laughing in
quick succession, she felt that she did not have such a status, as her
feelings could swing so easily.

Yet the change of mood filled Aishah, and probably others, with
curiosity and she asked Fatimah what her father, the Prophet, told her.
The answer shows that Fatimah was fully aware of the Islamic moral
standards, revealing nothing of what was told to her in secret.
However,
when the Prophet had passed away, she was free to disclose what he had
told her, since it became partly known. The Prophet told her that he
was
dying, and after he had actually passed away, that part of the
conversation was no longer a secret. The other part concerned Fatimah
herself and she was free to tell it.

A point in this Hadith that merits further discussion is that of
standing up to meet someone as he or she arrives. The Hadith mentions
that the Prophet used to stand to greet his daughter, and she did
likewise. Here we note that the two people involved are father and
daughter. It is normal, and well in line with Islamic manners, that a
son or a daughter stands up when their parents come in. It is a gesture
of genuine respect. But the Prophet’s standing when his daughter comes
in is a gesture of genuine love and kindness. In neither case, there
could be any confusion of feelings or action.

The point about standing up to express respect or high esteem is highly
relevant. At certain points, the Prophet indicated that this is not an
acceptable behavior. Consider the following Hadith reported by Jabir
ibn
Abdullah, a companion by the Prophet: "The Prophet was ill, and he was
leading us in prayer. He was seated, while Abu Bakr was repeating the
takbeer so that the congregation could hear. The Prophet turned
slightly
to us and saw that we were standing. He signaled us and we all sat down
to pray in the same position he prayed. When he finished his prayer, he
said, ‘You were about to do the same as the Persians and the
Byzantines:
they would stand in the presence of their kings who would be seated. Do
not do that; rather, do as your prayer leaders do. If the imam prays
standing, you stand up; and if he prays seated, you also sit’."
(Related
by Muslim and Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad).

In this Hadith the Prophet makes it clear that the congregation should
do like the imam. If the imam can only pray in the seated position
because of an illness or an injury, the congregation should do
likewise.
According to Imam Malik and Muhammad ibn Al-Hassan of the Hanafi school
of Fiqh, this is obligatory, to the extent that if the congregation
stand when the imam is seated, the prayer is invalid. However, other
schools of Fiqh consider that permissible relying on other equally
strong evidence.

As for standing up to meet respected people, there are Hadiths which
show that this is permissible when there is no question of confusing
this with glorifying the person concerned, as in the case of Saad ibn
Mu’ath when he was to rule in the case of the Jews of Quraythah. As he
entered, the Prophet told everyone in his main tent, saying: "Stand up
to meet your master." On the other hand, Anas ibn Malik, a close
companion of the Prophet reports: "They (meaning the Prophet’s
companions) did not love to see anyone more than they loved to see the
Prophet. When they saw him, they would not stand up to greet him,
because they were well aware that he disliked that they should stand
up." (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Ahmad and
Al-Tirmidhi)

http://www.arabnews.com/Article.asp?ID=767


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