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Lonely

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Lonely
Anonymous
04/01/03 at 05:28:04
[slm]

Ok, so I never liked arguments and hate sectarianism. Too confusing and upsetting.  Then
I decided to stick to Quran and authentic hadiths only, and take directly from what the
Prophet (SAW) said. Where there was confusion, I took from the Sahaba. Didn't go far
beyond that, since they were the people whose righteousness Allah testified to, not those who
came after (although no doubt there were, and are, righteous ones amongst them) As soon
as I found anything dubious (ie contrary to an authentic narration I just read) in a
book/in the speech of some reputed scholar, I would avoid it/them (although obviously with a
word to the person if appropriate...in a questioning way, since I am no scholar!). Oh, and
because I stuck to absolute authentic hadiths, I found it hard to understand why it was
that people stuck to the opinions of their sheikhs etc even when confronted with evidence.
And what I found - and find - hard to stomach is their resentful behaviour towards me for
trying to be precise in following what I find. The latest manifestation of this is their
calling me "Wahabbi" and "Salafi". I have heard these terms before, and often in an
unflattering context...but I'm not sure - could someone clarify what they mean for me please?

And tell me - am I being too rigid? I don't force others to adopt my ways, I tell them if
they ask, and I like to get on with things "my" way (which is SUPPOSED to be the
Prophet(SAW)'s way, or as near to it as I can get)  But still there is hostility - from family,
from friends...in fact from most people...and it's a lonely feeling. Didn't think the
Quran and Sunnah were supposed to have THAT effect on people...oh I'm confused.

Don't know if it was even worth posting this, but had to get it out...

Sorry to bother you guys with my stupid problems...

[wlm]    
Re: Lonely
bismilla
04/01/03 at 10:11:42
[slm] Brother / Sister Anon

I have been through the same situation.  These people also went to the extent of phoning my husband to tell him how "not right" it was that i donned a full hijab (Abaya and burkha).  That it was wrong for him to be married to me because i was a "Wahabi".  I, like you, had also not quiet understood or known what a Wahabi is/was unti this happened to me.

This caused a lot of personal problems until i confronted the people.  I do not like confrontations either, so in my mind i was reciting Surah Al Fateha and asking Allah swt to help me speak the truth intelligently to the person, and although they remain steadfast in their ways, they do not interfere or comment with how i choose to practice Islam.

I also have been though and still go through lectures where the speakers say things that aren't necessarily true.  Then i go back to the Quran & Hadith and point it out to my husband and Alhumdulillah he is beginning to understand my point of view.

What I am trying to say is that there is hope, Duah to Allah SWT can help with a lot of situations and will help you too Insha Allah.

:-)
Re: Lonely
theOriginal
04/01/03 at 12:35:39
[slm]

I don't want to misquote it, but it's an Ayah of the Qur'an that (paraphrased) the real losers on this planet are those people who think they are practicing the Haqq when they are really misguided.

I don't want to say anything against the Barelwiyya OR the Wahabis, because each of them denounces the other as Kaafir....Astaghfirullah...but it's so sad sometimes, when you see people creating extraneous practices in their worship of Allah (awj)...really makes me want to cry, because, of course, nothing you say will make them change, unless Allah so wills.

I just pray that Allah always keeps us all on Sirat-ul-Mustaqeem.

Wasalaam.
Lets not point fingers :(
Maliha
04/01/03 at 14:10:16
[slm]
I am not comfortable with the direction this thread is going. There are good Muslims and bad Muslims all over... I think if we start claiming a group has a tendency to be like this or like that we start labelling each other, and causing animosity and in the end playing into the very Divide and conquer mentality of the Kuffar.
Anon, the feeling of loneliness you have is normal. We are living in an age where Islam is dissipating, and there are very few people that are following the basics of Islam. As we know towards the end of time Islam will become strange, and the Rasul  [saw] gave glad tidings to the strangers...so take heart. Make a lot of duah for your guidance and the guidance of the Ummah in general Inshaallah. Know that we are living in difficult times and try forming halaqas/study circles to learn the fundamentals of Islam through Quran and Sunnah.
I personally have a problem refuting scholars because they know a lot more than i do. So I take the best, and what I don't understand I leave.
May Allah guide us to the straight path.
Sis,
Maliha. :-)
[wlm]
Re: Lonely
jannah
04/01/03 at 14:44:23
[wlm]

Thanx Maliha. Let's avoid the Salafi vs Wahabi vs... etc etc. stuff. Again to remind everyone this is against the Constitution of the Madina, Article III, Section 2. So I've deleted all posts that discuss that. Let's get back to reassuring Anonymous instead of doing exactly what he/she is here talking about!!!!

Anonymous it is my opinion that whatever you do outside of the basics, there will always be Muslims who take issue with it. Because Islam is such a huge spectrum and there are many legitimate differences of opinion.

Unfortunately some people are hard wired with a certain 'madhab' or opinions on certain issues, because that is what they are taught in their  schools or areas. Sometimes people think that their 'madhab' is right and everyone else's is wrong!! Or that their opinion or their shaikhs opinion is right and everyone else's is wrong.  That is one extreme.

The other extreme is that  we independently go to Quran and Hadith and interpret it ourselves and whatever we think is right goes. I don't think this is right either. I realize you are trying to just follow what is right, but we really DO NEED scholarly help and interpretation in alot of complex issues.

First of all,  I don't know if you are a hafiz, but most Muslims are not, they also have not memorized hadith, nor do they even have access to all the hadith or references on certain issues. They also are not trained in textual analysis, in revelatory aspects like when a verse or why a verse was revealed and I man sooooo many things. Also scholars must take the whole body of texts relating to one issue and analyze them, and not take one Hadith or two out of context and try to come up with a verdict. They are also trained not to let their Nafs get in the way of understanding an issue, whereas we are not even close to that level!!  I could go on and on about the fallacy of us leaving the great body of scholarship in Islam.

I mean we certainly don't go to the guy around the corner to check out our gall bladder when we have problems because we know there is alot we don't know and we go to an expert. For some reason, when it comes to Islam we all of a sudden think we know everything.

Again this applies to things outside the basics that every Muslim should know and apply for themselves ie 5 pillars, 6 pillars of iman etc.

That being said, your friends/family might be objecting to the way you are interpreting Quran and Hadith which could be unnatural since it's just you interpreting? Or most probably unfortunately in this day and age very few people are practicing Islam anyway and they might be objecting to you practicing it!! And this is a lonely feeling. All practicing Muslims feel it to various extents.  We are 'strangers' if we are going to practice Islam, but it comes down to following God.

So my advice is to find some people like you in your area who want to be good Muslims and learn more and maybe start a halaqa or join one. Or find a knowledgable teacher and join the class. There are other people striving like you, so you aren't alone and should never be lonely because Allah is with the one's that are patient and strive for his cause.
04/02/03 at 01:57:30
jannah
Re: Lonely
siddiqui
04/01/03 at 15:59:45
[slm]
Before I came to the USA I tried dabbling in all these groups  from on extreme to another, to the amusement sometimes alarm of my father.
The best thing would be I would  drag my younger brother along and the would come  back home and have have post dinner arguments that would go on to midnight .
Infact  on the morning I was leaving for USA I went to my latest affiliation mosque for fajr and bid goodbye to my brothers.When I was there one Bro told me "Good your going now you can convert all the muslims to so and so in Amercia".I was taken aback and started thinking hey where are you going what are you upto

Albany was a pleasant surprise ,again there were religious scholars of all affliations/no afflialtions.It was real refreshing and intellectually challenging.

when ever I  would ask my ustaad about something contraversial
he would say "what difference does it make to you ?,will you spend your life indulging in this when there is so much to do in the muslim ummah?.People are dying,hungry,need Islamic and other education,need some one to shine the light of quraan and sunnah to show them the way and you just want to argue fiqh all your life?"

Alhamdullilah this is woken me up, people can be any thing they want a whabbi to a barelvi,a shafai to a hambali, they are entitled to their belifs and will answer for them in the here after .

I am a Muslim. have very little time,lots of things to do and will have to account for yesterday now and twommorow
May Allah make all of us good muslims in life & in death,and May he make the day of judgement easy on us
Ameen
[wlm]
Re: Lonely
deenb4dunya
04/01/03 at 16:17:24
A paradigm of wisdom...

[quote] I am a Muslim. I have very little time, lots of things to do and will have to account for yesterday now and tomorrow [/quote]

Jazaakallaahu Khayran

Deen :-)
Re: Lonely
bhaloo
04/01/03 at 20:14:01
[slm]

This was some more advice someone sent me a long time ago.

In the class I was mostly talking about identity, how a lot of kids are embarassed that they're muslim, which is ridiculous, tellin them how believing in the truth and worshipping the only One worthy of worship is NOT something to be ashamed of, it is something to be proud of, and we should be thankful everyday for having that.  Reading the Quran also, you sometimes forget we have this direct link with the ar-Rahman, sitting in the corner of our room.  

Anyway the reason I'm telling you all this is because of something that I thought of when teaching that class.  That even if you think you're all alone, and that everyone is on the other side, you're not alone.  Allah is on your side, and with Allah you can never be lonely.  It doesn't matter if you have two or two thousand muslims you can turn to, because you're not turning to them, you're turning to Allah, and they're only there to help you out along the way.  Allah is your protector, and the cause of everything you do, your prayer and your sacrifice, your life and your death are for HIM, and when you have that, when you have that belief and that certainty, everything else is just icing on the cake. I understand it can be pretty good icing, it helps a LOT, but trust that you will be rewarded for your struggle
fisabilillah, because you are promised that by Allah, and the promise of
Allah is true.  (Seek help with patience and in prayer, for Allah is indeed
with those who are patient.)
Re: Lonely
BrKhalid
04/02/03 at 05:19:09
Asalaamu Alaikum ;-)

Anonymous I think we all, as Muslims, have be far more tolerant with our Brothers and Sisters who have different opinions.

If someone is doing something and they have authentic evidence for it then Alhamdulillah.

Now it may well be that we believe that there is other evidence which counteracts their evidence and hence we try to convince someone to our way of thinking.

The problem this Ummah has, however, is that when we can’t get someone round to our way of thinking we go into “I-am-right-you-are-wrong” mode which eventually leads us deeply divided.

Instead, what we should realise is that once we’ve told someone our view, our obligation to inform them has been achieved. Whether a person heeds our advice is not our concern. Allah will inform us on the Day of Judgement as to which view is more correct.

Where we seem to go wrong is continually trying to convince someone round to our point of view.

As has been said on this board many times, sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree.
Re: Lonely
Asim
04/02/03 at 06:42:44
Assalaamu alaikum,
[quote]
Now it may well be that we believe that there is other evidence which counteracts their evidence and hence we try to convince someone to our way of thinking.

The problem this Ummah has, however, is that when we can’t get someone round to our way of thinking we go into “I-am-right-you-are-wrong” mode which eventually leads us deeply divided.[/quote]

Good point Br. Khalid. Let me add the other dimension to this, which is equally important. As Muslims we should develop ourselves to *take* naseeha with grace and hikmah. None of us, scholars et al., are all-knowledgeable, and *all* of us continuously need advice.  Actually, if you read the lives of great scholars you will find that they took advice very seriously.

If a person feels another is doing wrong, it is his or her duty to advise them. Whether they take the advice is up to them. However, rejecting something on face value is folly. We often focus on giving dawah and how to be good daees. But, we also need to focus on taking advice with grace and hikmah.

Anonymous, you have received good replies. I think you are on the right track, develop your knowledge and understanding and wisdom, and with time inshallah things will become clearer. Don't worry about being a stranger! :)

Wasalaam.
04/02/03 at 06:58:46
Asim
Re: Lonely
Anonymous
04/03/03 at 13:58:35
[slm]

bhaloo, jazakallahu kheiran for the info.

Mr-Bean ? I?ve just discovered what ?Salafi? means?kindly meant though I?m sure your
words were, I don?t think they apply here. Salafis seem to be, well, just making another sect
as far as I can see?and I don?t do groups. I said I don?t UNDERSTAND why it is that
people follow madhabs so (for want of a better word ? no offense meant) blindly.  I didn?t say
that I force them one way or another, ESPECIALLY not on fiqh issues!  I rarely ever
instigate a conversation if I can help it (yeah I know, sad case I am) and concerning
discussions of deen, I answer questions on what I PERSONALLY do and why if someone asks. I don?t
exchange invectives?argument starts and I?m outta there! More problematic issues are two:
1) dealing with sisters who wear the modern, tight-fitting, ?fashionable? hijab (aye, I
am female; therefore I happen to know that we females are very vain, and touch-ee when our
clothing is criticised) 2) dealing with people who openly call Aisha (RA) a whore
etc?astaghfirullah. It shocked me ? I?ve never had anyone do that in front of me before?still
unsure how to react. But I presume this latter is moving too close to violating the Madina
Constitution, so I?ll just have to look elsewhere for answers?  

Jannah ? I like to memorise just about everything I can get my hands on. I?m not a
scholar and I don?t presume to ?refute? scholars. However, if I am dubious then I merely stay
away, that?s all, without saying much about it. I stick to basics as far as I can?until
recently I thought those were obvious?until someone came to me and resurrected what I now
realise is in fact a time-honoured argument ? they said that Allah is ?everywhere?, and
that I was wrong and misguided to believe that He is above the Heavens?They said ?Allah is
but a passing dog, and no more than the beggar on the street? or something like
that?then, too, people seem to have problems with Qadar which I took for granted as one of the six
articles of faith?others tell me they (or people they know, usually their sheikh) can
summon angels and hear the punishment of the grave?it?s a lengthy list.

Basically I?ve found soo many conflicting ideas of matters of BELIEF (forget fiqh!) that
it?s impossible for me to ?take the good and leave the bad? without doing as I do ?
namely, look up the Quran references and authentic hadiths myself. I do listen to the words of
scholars (I love reading Ibn al-Qayyim?s material) but where a reputed scholar begins to
delve into things such as those I have mentioned above, then my mind simply cannot grasp
it, and so I leave it. That?s all.

Anyway, that wasn?t quite the issue: the main thing that was bothering me was this ?
people told me that I shouldn?t ?force my views on them? right? When I pointed out that I
don?t, I just say what I know WHEN THEY ASK ME, then they say, ?But you shouldn?t say that
not praying takes you out of the fold of Islam.? Or ?You shouldn?t tell that sister that
her jeans are too tight?and so what if she?s showing her arms? They have to take things
slowly.? Furthermore, I had a sister tell me not to give me ?that look? if she did or said
something I felt was wrong and therefore disliked ? ?that look? meaning showing that I
was upset. This was even MORE upsetting, since it seems as though not only am I not allowed
to express my views verbally to one who wishes to know, but I am to hide my own feelings
on what is going on around me and give free license to others to do as they please?which
is more than difficult since I hold a prominent position within my organisation?

And I don?t want to say any more in case I?m recognised.

[wlm]
Re: Lonely
EMILY
04/04/03 at 15:40:15
Asalaamu Alykum,
I'm still new to Islam re-verted in May of last year can someone please tell me what Salafi & Wahabi, are or is,or what???
Masalaama
Emily
Re: Lonely
Tesseract
04/04/03 at 15:48:41
Assalamu 'alaikum,

           [quote]I'm still new to Islam re-verted in May of last year can someone please tell me what Salafi & Wahabi, are or is,or what [/quote]

             *constant beep* banned topic  :). But, this thread still almost discusses the 'salafi' issue. Wallahu Ta'ala A'lam.

Wassalam.
Re: Lonely
UmmWafi
04/05/03 at 12:31:59
[slm]

Alrighty ! I thought age and stress slow me down somewhat but after reading this thread I realised that I am indeed very s-l-o-w.  I shall sift through all the information and address what I think is Anon's original concern.

Anon, I have, in my illustrious career  :-/, been called a Wahhabi, Salafi, Shi'i, Mu'tazili, Qadariyi, Wahdatul Wujudi and some other colourful terms.  At first I would get upset and try to explain my stand to my labeller until I realise that it is a complete waste of my time.  People may think they know me but they don't.  The whisperings in my heart belongs to Allah SWT alone and verily, He Knows me as even I don't know myself.

If you ever feel you are alone, think of the Prophet Nuh AS.  He brought with him the message of Allah SWT but no one believed him, not even his family.  However, he remained steadfast and true to the Truth.  That is what we should do.

Ask Allah SWT to give you strength, Insha'Allah you will find yourself more fervent in your search for the truth.

Wassalam.
Re: Lonely
paula
04/06/03 at 21:17:48
[slm]
[size=2][font=Verdana][color=Navy][quote] :-) UmmWafi:
At first I would get upset and try to explain my stand to my labeller until I realise that it is a complete waste of my time.  People may think they know me but they don't.  The whisperings in my heart belongs to Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala alone and verily, He Knows me as even I don't know myself.
[/quote]
:-* Beautiful Addition..... I have for quite awhile now believed this is one of the big keys we all must face and learn... (one of our key lessons, Allah(SWT) seems to give us trials to learn this one until we do ......((opinion here)) ... but think about it a little.... look around and think some, It's a great point...... Allahu Alam

:-* Anon "Lonely" I do not believe...... in this vast world of Allah's, that you are so "Alone" .... these posts on this site continuously remind me, that indeed we are not......Alhamdu lillah
[wlm][/color][/font][/size]
04/06/03 at 22:46:06
paula
Re: Lonely
Anonymous
04/07/03 at 23:49:27
[slm]

[quote]UmmWafi: At first I would get upset and try to explain my stand to my labeller
until I realise that it is a complete waste of my time.  People may think they know me but
they don't.  The whisperings in my heart belongs to Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala alone and
verihy, He Knows me as even I don't know myself.[/quote]  

[quote]Beautiful Addition..... I have for quite awhile now believed this is one of the
big keys we all must face and learn... (one of our key lessons, Allah(SubHana Wa Ta`ala)
seems to give us trials to learn this one until we do ......((opinion here)) ... but think
about it a little.... look around and think some, It's a great point...... Allahu Alam

 Anon "Lonely" I do not believe...... in this vast world of Allah's, that you are so
"Alone" .... these posts on this site continuously remind me, that indeed we are
not......Alhamdu lillah[/quote]

Ahh, you guys make me wanna cry! Jazakallah khayr. Simply_sister, even if I was the only
person on earth to say 'La ilaha illa Allah', then still I would not be alone...of course
it's rather less dramatic than that...! My loneliness, I am painfully aware, came about
from my own weakness and inability to deal with the shock of being disowned by my own
family and friends, or rather acquaintances (the not-so-practising members that is, which
comprise the majority unfortunately). So I spilled, and I'm glad I did :) May Allah reward
you all and keep you on His straight path. Ameen.

[wlm]
   
Re: Lonely
jannah
04/09/03 at 16:23:08
[quote]*constant beep* banned topic   :). But, this thread still almost discusses the 'salafi' issue. Wallahu Ta'ala A'lam. [/quote]

You're right. This topic unfortunately seems to be irresistible.. I'll be closing the thread now. Please seek out scholars and those knowledgable to discuss/debate this issue.

[wlm]


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