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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Hijab & in-laws |
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| Danyala |
| 04/05/03 at 13:13:50 |
| [slm] Out of curiosity - how do people feel about two brothers and their wives living in the same house together...i'm mainly talking about the difficulties the wives would have maintaining hijab ALL the time when their brother in laws are in the house....but matters of privacy etc also would come into it...what is the correct Islamic stance, and what to do when it is the parents wish that they all live together in the one house? [wlm] :-) :-* ps has anyone heard of the hadith (paraphrasing) that 'the in-laws are death' ... anybody got any links to the meaning behind it? |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| Tesseract |
| 04/05/03 at 20:11:32 |
| Wa'alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullah, [quote]what to do when it is the parents wish that they all live together in the one house? [/quote] Don't know of Arab families, but this brothers living in the same house with their families even after marriage, so called joined family system is seen mostly in families from sub-continent ( desi families to be more precise). Parents wish is not above Islamic teachings, so if Islamis stance on it is to live in separate houses, then definitely it should be followed. [quote]ps has anyone heard of the hadith (paraphrasing) that 'the in-laws are death' ... anybody got any links to the meaning behind it? [/quote] The hadith that I know of talks specifically about "brother-in-law" and not all in-laws, and the wordings are correct that "brother-in-law is death". I'll post the exact hadeeth and explanation if I find the link InshaAllah. Wassalam. |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| Kathy |
| 04/06/03 at 20:20:18 |
| [code]The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against the husband’s relatives who are not mahrams to the wife entering upon her. It was reported from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?” he said: “The brother-in-law is death.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172). [/code] |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| se7en |
| 04/07/03 at 15:11:55 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, interesting older discussion on this topic here: http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=ark&action=display&num=1478 wasalaamu alaykum :-) |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 04/08/03 at 20:28:48 |
| [slm] [quote author=Bulwark of Islam link=board=madrasa;num=1049566430;start=0#1 date=04/05/03 at 20:11:32]Parents wish is not above Islamic teachings, so if [color=red]Islamis stance on it is to live in separate houses[/color], then definitely it should be followed.[/quote] Hmm. Where do you get that from? |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| jannah |
| 04/09/03 at 01:36:20 |
| [wlm] Hmm perhaps he means 'separate living quaters' which is a woman's right when she marries. Even in the sub-continent u'll notice every wife has her own 'floor' or 'rooms area' to herself. |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/09/03 at 09:38:04 |
| Salam, the thing is with the sub-continent you find that theres a lot more space...and over here extended families living in the one house bring about wives in contact with brother in laws in enclosed spaces, and the only 'private' space the wife may have where she can take of hijab is her own bedroom. wasalams |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| Tesseract |
| 04/09/03 at 13:35:55 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum, [quote]Hmm. Where do you get that from?[/quote] [quote]Hmm perhaps he means 'separate living quaters' which is a woman's right when she marries. Even in the sub-continent u'll notice every wife has her own 'floor' or 'rooms area' to herself. [/quote] Jazaaki Allah khair jannah for clarifying that. That's exactly what I meant, but my mistake that I didn't write it clearly. Abu Hamza, I used the word "if" which shows that I was unsure of my reply. But, for me, its still difficult to accept that brothers live in same house but different quarters or floors specially the way it is done back in Pakistan where bedrooms are separate but u still have to share the kitchen or living rooms or drawing rooms or if not those than atleast outside lawns (as we have in our house back in Pakistan). So, what if wife wants to spend some time outside in lawn, but she still has to put on her hijab because lawn is open and exposed to other people. Wallahu A'lam. [quote]Salam, the thing is with the sub-continent you find that theres a lot more space...and over here extended families living in the one house bring about wives in contact with brother in laws in enclosed spaces, and the only 'private' space the wife may have where she can take of hijab is her own bedroom. wasalams [/quote] That's almost exactly the same situation back in Pakistan too that ur bedroom is the only most secure place where women can take their hijab off without any fear. Wassalam. |
| i love my brother in law, but.. |
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| princess |
| 04/09/03 at 14:29:13 |
| as'salaamualaikum ;D a few summers back, my sister and brother in law and family came to stay with us over the summer. as i grew up "in front" of him, he found it offensive that i wore hijab when he was there. (i was quite young when him and my sister married) he said something, which i guess if someone knows anything about, to enlighten me on..he said as long as he was married to my sister, he couldn't marry me, making him mahram.. anyone heard this before..? |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| Danyala |
| 04/09/03 at 16:09:45 |
| [slm] sooo, what would be the best way to approach the parents in law if they think its tradition to have all the family stay in the same house? Is it a legitimate request to ask to live seperately? [wlm] :-* |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| jannah |
| 04/09/03 at 16:17:14 |
| [wlm] sis :) Hmm... Your brother in law never becomes mahram to you. While he is married to your sister you cannot marry him true, but that does not make him a legitimate mahram. Your mahrams are people you can NEVER marry. Allah knows best. Danyala.. not sure if you're already married? But if you aren't then that should be something discussed quite clearly in the beginning if you can so you both agree on it. If you are again I think you both should agree and come to a consensus and then go to your in-laws as a united force. |
| 04/09/03 at 16:18:39 |
| jannah |
| Re: Hijab & in-laws |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 04/14/03 at 01:09:34 |
| [slm] Also sister you could show the Islamic reasons behind it. Maybe mention the hadith and the fact that it is hard because you wont be able to take your hijab off unless you are in your own bedroom. |
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