A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 04/09/03 at 09:37:23 |
| As salaamu'alaikum I have a story to tell. A long a painful one. I've always been a good muslim, haven't harmed anyone but have suffered hugely from things totally beyond my control. My family are sufferring immensely too and I am powerless to do anything. When I could, things backfired on me.My prayers haven't been answered for yrs and i feel i have very little hope and dignity left for the future. I haven't prayed now since Ramadan, only occasionally. My faith is really shattered I can't even think beyond today and believing in this life a 'test' and in the afterlife is beyond me right now.How can i regain faith and get Allah to help me? jazakallah 'khair |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| sofia |
| 04/09/03 at 17:21:37 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullaah, Sorry to hear that sister/brother. May Allaah grant you preserverance and steadfastness. Regarding our condition, no one is perfect, nor has perfect faith (except the Prophets). Working on one's imaan is a full-time job, kind of like body-building (go with me on this). You wouldn't stop lifting and still expect to get bigger, right? In fact, once you stop lifting, your muscle mass will decrease. Imaan fluctuates, and that's normal and natural. Leaving the prayer is something different. On the flip-side, whether or not we have faith, we are all toiling towards something. Whether towards a job or school or whatever. So why keep lifting weights (ie, toiling towards whatever you're working for) with no hope of ever getting bigger (ie, increasing our Imaan with the hope of attaining the pleasure of our Lord)? If we really reflected and realized what's important and best for us in this life and in the next, we would try to toil for our maximum benefit; ie, earn reward from God at the same time. And we can do this, by worshipping Him and working for His creation. Regarding our trials, who were the ones who were tested the most in this life? ---> the Prophets, upon them be peace. Those who are tested the most are usually the ones who are loved most by God. Why? Because of the potential "upgrade" in their faith and relationship with God, if they pull through their adversity successfully (ie, trust in Allaah, remain patient, remain steadfast, etc). Another reason people can be tested is so that Allaah can erase some of their sins by their trials. Others can be tested because of their wrong actions or to help them correct wrong actions. Allaahu A'lim, God knows best the various reasons. Those who, when experiencing any type of calamity say, "Inna lillaahi wa inna 'ilayhi raje'oon/Verily, to Allaah we belong and to Him we return" are subject to reward from Allaah, and further forbearance, since Allaah is with the patient ones (8:66). Also, please read the beginning of the chapter of the Spider in the Qu'raan when you get a chance (Al-Ankabut, Chp 29). As we know, when Prophet Muhammad (S) was rejected by his own people (for 13 years), he tried to find refuge at Ta'if at one point before the Hijrah and before his ascension ('isra wal mi'raaj). He was humiliated and rejected by the people of Ta'if. Even worse, he was stoned by the children of Ta'if. They pelted him with rocks and taunted him, leaving him bleeding profusely. SubhanAllaah, what kind of man were they stoning? What did he do to them? The Angels even asked the Prophet (S) if he would like them to be destroyed, while the blood still dripped from his head. He said no, maybe their progeny will become Muslim. SubhanAllaah, because of his forebearance and trust in Allaah, he was made the most praised human being on this earth. There is not a moment when he is not remembered in our prayers around the world (disclaimer: only the One, True God is worshipped in Islaam. Prophet Muhammad is not worshipped. In our 5 daily prayers, Muslims send peace and prayers on Prophet Muhammad. Even the main testimony of faith, "There is no God but God, and Muhammad is His Messenger," one of the most repeated words of any Muslim, bears his name). The Prophet (S) was once stopped by a bedouin who asked him for something. He tugged on the Prophet's cloak so hard, it left a mark on his face/neck. Did the Prophet (S) ask him what his problem was? No, he just smiled and gave him what he asked for. There was once a non-Muslim woman who used to throw garbage on the Prophet (S) as he walked by her house. Repeatedly. One day, he walked by, and no garbage. So he wondered what happened to her. He immediately knocked on her door to inquire if she was sick. SubhanAllaah. most of the people who witnessed his character ended up coming into the fold of Islaam, even those who were initially his worst enemy. Other examples of forebearance from the sahabah include: --A'isha's trial of being accused of adultery (she was proven innocent by Allaah in the Qu'raan. Before this, she went through months of crying and waiting for vindication. But she didn't give up on Allaah). Ever since, she has been known to be innocent and virtuous. --Not able to pray in peace pre-Hijrah. For some time, the early Sahabahs were afflicted by such trial that they could only pray in groups (ie, the fear prayer) while the rest stood guard, in fear of being attacked while they prayed. --Torture, sanctions and death simply because the Sahabah declared, "Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah/There is no god but God." The stories are too gruesome. I'm starting to realize more and more that we think we deserve better than our Rasool (S) and righteous predecessors. And by doing less than what they did. If we were tested with even a fraction of what they were tested by, what would our initial reaction be? Would we turn people away? Would we give up? Would we mope around feeling sorry for our sorry self and complain about the tests that have been flung at us, or would we use it to get closer to Allaah? I'm reminding myself first here. Some other interesting ahaadith/ayaat on this issue. [color=green]"What is with you must vanish; what is with Allaah will endure. And We will certainly bestow on those who patiently persevere, their reward according to the best of their actions." [/color] Translation of the Qur'aan, Chapter of the Bee, 16:96. [color=green]"On no soul does God place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray): "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector; help us against those who stand against faith." [/color] Translation of the Qu'raan, Chapter of the Cow, 2:286. Learn this du'aa if you haven't already, inshaa'Allaah. The Prophet (S) is reported to have said: [color=purple]Allah has said: "O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another. O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you, O My servants, all of you are hungry except for those I have fed, so seek food of Me and I shall feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked except for those I have clothed, so seek clothing of Me and I shall clothe you. O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you. O My servants, you will not attain harming Me so as to harm Me, and will not attain benefitting Me so as to benefit Me. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, any more that a needle decreases the sea if put into it.[/color] O My servants, it is but your deeds that I reckon up for you and then recompense you for, so let him finds good praise Allah and let him who finds other that blame no one but himself." It was related by Muslim (also by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah). "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that." Related by Bukhaari. "The good deeds of any person will not make him enter Paradise." (i.e., no one can enter Paradise through his good deeds alone.) They (the Prophet's companions) said, 'Not even you, O Allaah's Apostle?' He said, "Not even myself, unless Allaah bestows His favor and mercy on me." So be moderate in your religious deeds and do the deeds that are within your ability. And none of you should wish for death, for if he is a good doer, he may increase his good deeds, and if he is an evil doer, he may repent to Allaah." Related by Abu Hurayrah in Bukhaari. "The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allaah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allaah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes." Bukhaari. "If Allaah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." Bukhaari. "The supplication of the servant is granted as long as he does not supplicate for sin or for severing the ties of blood, or he does not become impatient." It was asked: "O Allaah's Messenger, what does: 'If he does not grow impatient imply?'" He said: "That he should say: I supplicated and I supplicated but I did not find it being responded and then he becomes frustrated and abandons supplication." Muslim |
| NS |
| 04/09/03 at 17:26:12 |
| sofia |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| Dude |
| 04/10/03 at 18:56:49 |
| Usually a loss in faith has to do with a personal trajedy of some sort. I've been there myslef. Although I may not be the best to dialogue with on issues of Islamic law, I may be able to share some peronal stuff that you can relate to, and what helped me regain my faith as well. IM me if you'd like. |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| UmmWafi |
| 04/10/03 at 23:18:48 |
| [slm] Anon Some of us seem to be blessed with living life with only minor concerns while some of us seem to face avalanche after avalanche. At times, the avalanches hit us in quick successions that it feels as if we can never recover from them. But, believe it or not we will. I am not one of those who have had her life rosy and easy, where the most difficult trial was the removing of stubborn stains from the bottom of the pot. In fact, let me tell you that so many of our brothers and sisters in here have gone through so much and yet look at them now Maasha'Allah. One particular sister whom I have always have the deepest respect and admiration for is Sis Kathy. To me, she exemplifies strength. (BTW Sis Kathy, I just got the gift !!!! Thank you, it was wonderful Subhanallah). Anon, whatever is given to us by Allah SWT is always a blessing, even when we think it is a form of punishment. I went through an extremely harrowing experience 10 years ago and at that point in time, death was preferable to all the insanity. I was wondering what I did to deserve this, thinking that perhaps I have sinned so greatly that this had to be a punishment. Alhamdulillah, even when I was doubting Allah never abandoned me. On hindsight I realised that the harrowing experience is indeed a blessing because the amazing knowledge and wisdom and strength I gained from it have allowed me to deal with life in the later years. Indeed, I realise now that had I not learnt all those lessons in overcoming the hardships, I would not have made it through to where I am now, Alhamdulillah. Anon, sometimes we think we are good, we think we are performing, we think that we have done enough. Question is, who should decide ? We or Allah SWT ? Anon, we all start our activities with basmallah. We extol His Grace and Mercy. We must believe that indeed Allah truly is Most Gracious and Most Merciful. Anon, back in those days, the only good thing my psychologist told me was "Never fight problems, accept them. Then move. Fighting them will not help you move, it will only make you stuck." Yes, you have problems. Yes, you are facing so much, too much. Accept that. Accept that you have all these problems and then start moving on. Start finding ways to solve or ease the problems. Start asking Allah for help, really asking Allah for help....be sincere, be His good servant and then talk to Him. Ask Him from the deepest of your heart to help you. In all my nightly sessions with Allah SWT I find that the tears of repentence I shed pave the way for peace in my heart. Insha'Allah, you will have that peace again.. My sincerest du'a for you Anon. Wassalam |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| BrKhalid |
| 04/11/03 at 06:02:29 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [color=Brown]Have We not expanded thee thy breast?- And removed from thee thy burden The which did gall thy back?- And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard, And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention[94:1-8][/color] Anon, verses I think about when I’m in difficulty are the ones highlighted above. There are times when we just can’t seem to find a way out of a situation but we must hold on to the fact that Allah has promised relief from every difficulty we face. In fact because relief has been mentioned twice in these verses, some commentators say the relief one experiences is twice that of the original difficulty. Of course to get to the imaginary light at the end of the tunnel, you have to patiently persevere but remember there are great rewards for those who do so. [color=Brown]Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!"[39:10][/color] Again some commentators define “without measure” to mean without reckoning on the Day of Judgement. Hence picture yourself being presented with your book by Allah on that dreadful Day and moving swiftly on when the rest of humanity has to then wait patiently for their own account to start. Has your patience in this life gone to waste? Hang on in there and keep fighting. InshaAllah Allah will make it easy for you. Wasalaam Br Khalid ;-) PS The above is obviously a spiritual fight but in a physical sense the closest I can come to relate how hard the above is, is to compare it to going out on a run. When you’ve run and your lungs are burning and your legs are like lead and your feet ache and you don’t know how to carry on and you’ve reached that point where you just want to sit down and stop. That’s the time when your faith is tested (not when you just start out) and that’s when you have to summon up every ounce of courage you have to force yourself to carry on running through the pain in order to finish and reach your goal. I hope you keep on running Anon and hope my virtual water bottle has helped ;-) |
| 04/11/03 at 06:03:50 |
| BrKhalid |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| mr-bean |
| 04/11/03 at 07:35:24 |
| [slm] (1) Know that life is a b*&^$, a very big b*&^$, (pardon my ascii) (2) Know that there is a reason why jannah was created, a reason why that it is so wonderful, a reason why when "....the person who suffered most in this life is dipped in jannah for even a fleeting moment, he/she will forget his/her terrible sufferings in this life and claim to never have suffered..." (paraphrase of hadith) Life is difficult, very difficult, sometimes very, very difficult, and for many of us the only thing which keeps us going, and prevents us from collapsing is the firm knowledge/belief that soon such things will pass, and that in the long run there is jannah -- there is eternal happiness, there is eternal joy and tranquility.... Now at times such a belief may seem like an empty rejoinder to life's trials (what Karl Marx called the opiate of the people), but it is what defines us as muslims and what gives us strength. At the end of the day, being a muslim is not about praying or fasting, but rather having a state of mind that: we are from Allah, our lives are for Allah, and we will return to Allah, and Allah protects all his his servants. I.e. islam is about having mental strength, which is built up by praying regularly, fasting and fulfilling the religious duties. (3) Know also that in spite of all the difficulties we face nowadays, (for most of us) our difficulties pale in comparison to those of our forefathers. It used to be that in every family 1 out of every 3 children would not not make it to adulthood either because of disease or accidents or malnutrition. It used to be that our parents would be dead before we reached our late 20s. It used to be that if you were a girl you were married off by the time you were 16, and if you were a guy you'd you saddled with wife and multiple kids by the time you were 21. And it used to be that lives were filled with so much uncertainty. Back then there was no health insurance, life insurance or social security benefits. If you were poor and something happened to you you were stuffed. Things nowadays are a bit better. (4) Know that people always magnify their problems. Sometimes I think my problems are so large that I'm going to die. But, in reality, after stepping back for a moment and thinking about things in a more detached way -- my problems often turn out to rather smaller than i first imagined. For example, even after losing all of my money (ALL), i wasn't exactly a very happy camper (i won't go into the long sad and sordid story!). However, in retrospect, i only lost money, something which many people don't have the luxury of losing....and there was no reason to continue to feel sorry for myself... (5) Know that diffiuculties and trials are things which affect the impious and pious. They are part of life and everybody has their share, and none of us are impervious to the resulting mental torment. For example one of the most overlooked quotes in the quran is when maryam -- the most noble of all women cried out... "....how i wish that i had died before this and had been forgotten and out of sight..." when she was faced with bringing her son Isa (as) into the world alone and about to face the shame, recriminations, and persecution of her entire community --- and on top of that she was an orphan... i have always been amazed at the humanity of this verse, how even the prophets and dearest to Allah fealt the pains and difficulties of life. They weren't superhuman because they were oblivious to pain and suffering, but because they knew how to handle it. (6) Know also that despite what we might think in times of difficulty that Allah *always* listens to our prayers. Often we don't understand Allah's response. Sometimes the point of hardship is not so much to test us, but rather to teach us a lesson or toughen us up, etc. Nobody knows why Allah does the things he does, but always be sure that in every difficult matter Allah places some good in it. Always! It just takes some time to figure out what that good is. And lastly, remember what Allah has promised "When my servants ask of me, say: I am indeed near. I respond to the prayers of every one who calls on me. So let them also obey me and believe in me so that they might be led aright." |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 04/12/03 at 05:19:39 |
| [slm] Funny I should read this today of all days. I feel like Allah's gently chiding me for some recent foolishness on my part... The past few years have been long and hard for me, but somehow I got through by Allah's grace. Oh, I wasn't [i]happy[/i], but then I wasn't much disturbed either...just, grey days, you know? Then something happened to me that literally shook my world... Last night, only last night, after praying isha, I curled up on my mussalla and wanted to die. So much noise and confusion in my head, so many insistent, horrible voices telling me it was all over, what was the point in going on? Bitterly I reflected that suicide was not even an option for me, unless I wanted to continue committing it in Hellfire... I thought, if not suicide, what now then? [i]What[/i] now? For a while I just lay there curled up, my tears stopping and starting, flowing into the hard fibres of the mussalla. Images of solicitous, sometimes facetious faces telling me, it's ok, you'll get through this, you just have to be strong, but not one willing to get close, to discuss specifics of my problem, not wanting, perhaps, to sully themselves with such concerns... [i]Ask me[/i], my eyes implored. And "ASK ME!" my body screamed, and "Help me..." my lips whispered. And met dead silence and, it seemed, deafness on all sides. [i]But for the One who never stops listening[/i], although I knew it not then... Yet, curious thoughts intruding my black mood...[i]you have to finish work before dawn...you have to decide tomorrow's strategy...you have to pray your witr yet[/i] I tried to push them away, for they spoke of a future I was not willing to face. But they became louder and more insistent...then, images of suffering faces I knew, my brothers and sisters who hadn't made it as far as me, and had known the suffering and tortures that I had just escaped before they died, or, as with one of them, continued to live a living death... ....and then another call from deep within, somewhere where I still [i]was[/i]... "And anyway, there's a young lass out there who needs you...there [i]is[/i] a way through - you just have to find it. UP GIRL!" I cried out this last in a voice curiously hoarse and excessively loud, coming from somewhere beyond the ragged, wan thing I had become. Brushing away my tears, I stared at a distorted yellow moon and pollution-filled night sky, stubbornly, defiantly. [i]Call yourself a Muslimah do you?[/i] "YES!" I cried. And I rose, prayed my witr, and began life anew. Alhamdulillah. [wlm] |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 04/12/03 at 05:21:58 |
| [slm] Me again. Maybe this should be in the Shahada bookstore, but I thought it might be appropriate for you Anon...it certainly was for me :) [wlm] ==================================== This is my February. This is me alone? And so cold. And I wish there was nothing missing And that you didn?t go, All I?ve got left is the Deen to hold. For Islam You gave it all away And all I wanted to say? Is that I love you And you made me proud to know you And I won?t cry Nor will I say goodbye Because inshallah I?ll see you in a place Where outsiders like us have Freedom. ==================================== |
| Re: Hurting and lost faith |
|---|
| jannah |
| 04/12/03 at 23:23:25 |
| Sister Anonymous your post is one of the most beautiful i've ever read. JazakiAllah khairan for sharing!! Here's some more help for the original anonymous ;) Causes Of Increase In Iman And Our Shortcomings Causes of Increase in Iman 1. Praying to your Lord, Glorified and Exalted, in secret, supplicating a lot to Him, hoping in His reward, and engaging in much remembrance of Him. 2. Contemplating His Book, for nothing helps the recovery of the heart except the Book of Allah Mighty and Sublime. There are many youth who busy themselves even with sciences of the Shari`ah at the expense of reciting the Qur'an until their hearts eventually harden. So if this happens with acts of obedience, what about one who occupies his heart with sins? 3. Regularly performing your obligatory prayers in congregation, for Allah guaranteed the one who guards his obligatory prayers in congregation that he will neither abandon him, nor humiliate him, and that He will guard him in this world and the next. 4. Regularly performing as-sunan ar-rawatib (acts of Sunnah that were stressed and regularly performed by the Prophet, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), and doing plenty of them, for whenever you prostrate to Allah with a prostration, He raises your level. 5. Accompanying and loving the righteous. "The person is with one he loves." [Al-Bukhari] "Do not befriend except a believer, and let no one eat your food except a taqiyy (a pious, God-fearing person)." [Hasan, related by Ahmad, At-Tayalisi, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi and others] 6. Knowing that Allah al-Wahid al-Ahad watches over us, and knowing that He is with you: "Does He who created not know, while He is the Subtle, the Acquainted?" [al-Mulk (67):14] Knowing also that He knows what you hide and what you make apparent: "Have you not considered that Allah knows what is in the heavens and what is on the earth? There is no private conversation of three but that He is the fourth of them, nor are there five but that He is the sixth of them - and no less than that and no more except that He is with them [in knowledge] wherever they are. Then He will inform them of what they did, on the Day of Resurrection. Indeed Allah is, of all things, Knowing." [Al-Mujadilah (58):7] Our Shortcomings in the World of Iman 1. Taking oneself to account as the Salaf used to do; they used take themselves to account in detail prior to sleep: What did we put forth from good so that we thank Allah? What did we do from evil so that we repent to Allah? 2. Seeking guidance and advice from the people of knowledge and callers to Allah. 3. Visiting graves, for it is a means of remembrance of the hereafter, and it guides a slave to the Straight Path. 4. Reading biographies of the Salaf. Exemplary biographies are those lived by the Sahaba, at-Tabi`een and imams, such as Ahmad, ash-Shai`i, Malik, ath-Thawri, al-Awza`i and many others. 5. Praying upon Allah in secret and supplicating to Him in the last third of the night. |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |