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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| How to mantain chastity? |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/12/03 at 05:29:09 |
| salam, i have recently found islam and i am in the path of conversion although i haven?t taken my shahada yet, i pray constantly and study the quran and the sunna. I am still living with my parents and i can?t tell them of my reversion right now cause they are extremely a-religious, expecially they don?t like official organized religions; anyway, i am trying to introduce them to the subject. My problem right now is that before entering islam, i used to have a boyfriend; now i know that this is haram, so since i have found islam, i have left him and praticed abstinence. The problem is that, although my mind is very happy with this, sometimes i feel a ?urge? and i ask forgiveness to Allah (swt) but it seems very hard. I know that the only solution for this problems is getting married and having a healthy life with your husband, but i am still very young to get married; first i have to finish school and moreover i have to be sure of my din before marrying anyone. I have stoppped watching tv and i try to avoid any situation that can trigger. I have read that fasting is very helpful, but unfortunately for health reasons it is preferable for me not to fast frequently; i try to do some sports, like jogging.. i don?t know what else i could try. i am sorry if i have brought such a subject and if anyone feels offended, i apologise. [Admin Note: Sister I have edited your question to maintain the modesty level on the board, I hope you do not mind inshaAllah.] |
| Re: How to mantain chastity? |
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| mr-bean |
| 04/12/03 at 14:14:02 |
| get married. get married get married. there are some boys out there who are not your typical selfish laddy and possessive boys and who will not saddle you with cooking and dishes, etc. for example i have one such friend. he is married to a second year muslimah. he cooks for her. he helps her clean the house, and entertains her (don't ask me how) if you go to university, try to find such a guy at your university, then both you and your hubby can study together and help each other in learning about islam.. nowadays people make marriage far too complicated, and so you end up with some very old men and women who are unhappy and who are past their sell-by dates and have great difficulty getting married :). |
| 04/12/03 at 14:17:12 |
| mr-bean |
| Re: How to mantain chastity? |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 04/12/03 at 20:05:11 |
| [wlm] sister First Alhumdulilah its very nice to know that you are coming to the Islamic board for help. Second I encourage you to take shahada as soon as possible as we never know when we are going to die. I think sports is a good idea. Yah the Prophet [saw] told those to fast to preserve chastity, as you already know. I agree with mr. bean that you should get married. I understand what you said bout school and understanding your deen. Because of this I encourage you to read this article http://www.themuslimwoman.com/marriage/marriageisthequestion.htm There is a hadith that says a muslim never stops seeking knowledge, Alhumdulilah. There is also a hadith that says that we complete half of our religion through marriage. So a degree wont complete your religion but marriage will. I am sure if you find a good husband then you will able to continue to study or he can teach you, insh'Allah. As for deen im very happy that you are very cautious, because there many new reverts who have had problems after marrying, because they are still new to Islam and the husbands cant understand that. I encourage you to have someone from your local mosque help you get married and I also encourage you to check out the prospective partner posts before you make a decision on anyone. There is alot of support in the madina community, mash'Allah so i encourage you if you havent already to come join us and share your thoughts/questions so we can learn together, insh'Allah. Allah (swt) knows best Your sister |
| Re: How to mantain chastity? |
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| IbnTurab |
| 04/15/03 at 05:23:22 |
| [slm] I hope you soon embrace islam as it is critical. I pray you become a Muslim soon and start a new life. Ibn Taymiah said we are all born twice. Once physically and once spiritually. I am witnessing your second birth in becoming. I am glad to know that you are perusing the path to chastity. And I agree that one has to lower the gaze for the eyes are the window to haram especially in this image oriented culture. I was listening to a lecture today and the Shaykh may Allah reward him said that one has to Have "haya'a with Allah "shyness". And the shyness of the eyes is to avoid looking at haram. If fasting is not possible I would advice prayers and a lot of prayers, dua and remembering Allah. All these help considerably. And I cannot emphasize hijab enough; for it is emblem of chastity (in most cases) transforming the bearer from an object of admiration and mockery to an epitome of virtue and beauty. I also read some advice in which the writer said that we all justify implicitly and explicitly what we do consciously and subconsciously and as such what we hear and see is stored in a massive database in our minds and we retrieve that to justify our actions. So the TV should be seen in this light. As a Muslim Man I know the challenges of women in regards to chastity is greater and it is important for the sisters to understand this; For through it she rises high and falls. Out of chastity she becomes the purest of character and lack of it makes her the most degraded of creatures. I pray for your well being and Pray for your guidance. May Allah give you hidayah – guidance. I am sure in your study of Islam you are finding much expectation from a Muslim woman. And it is no secret that through her society becomes upright or goes astray. For she passes instincts run through the flesh carrying not only the physical and mental but also the moral life. She is the first teacher and example. And if you looks at the History if Islam, you finds, that Most great Men had extraordinary and virtuous mothers. Imam shaafii, Ahmad ibn hambal, malik and Imam Bukhari are afew Examples. It is said who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies. -----------The champion of chastity------------- Guard the gates of passion for it is worth the wait. Otherwise tainted and spoiled you will loose the fight. Days are short and soon you will walk with other as one. Till then walk with grace and resolve for you have the right. Nothing to desire? Yes what a gift. It sure is worth the wait. |
| Re: How to mantain chastity? |
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| sofia |
| 04/15/03 at 14:22:13 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh, Mashaa'Allaah, very happy to hear of your conversion (or if you haven't done so yet, hope it's soon, inshaa'Allaah). May Allaah make it easy for you and your family, aameen. Otherwise, please keep in iind that for anything that someone has particular difficulty with, and they stay away from or do for the sake of God, they have an increased reward than those who have an easier time with it. Take for ex/, those with fluent Arabic tongues that can read the Qur'aan easier than those who do not (for the most part). Allaah gives double reward for those who falter but who struggle to get it right. Although "chastity" is not unique to Islaam, the key, defining character of Islaam, is modesty. With everything that you give up for God, He will replace it with something better. Welcome to the fold, sister! :) The Prophet (S) used to teach new Muslims the following supplication: Allaahum-maghfirlee, war-Hamnee, wah-dinee, wa-'Aafinee, war-zuqnee. O Allaah: forgive me, have mercy on me, guide me, grant me well-being/health, and provide for me. Aameen. |
| 04/15/03 at 14:27:40 |
| sofia |
| Re: How to mantain chastity? |
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| lightningatnite |
| 04/18/03 at 19:32:03 |
| [slm] One powerful weapon is knowledge. Afterall, who is in control of our bodies? Knowledge can free ourselves from our selves. We live these miserable lives subject to the whims of our nafs. We don't have to. The true coolness and happiness and sakina enters the heart when we learn about Allah and Islam. All these false idols have planted themselves in our hearts. Shaitan animates them and makes them attractive. Learning the Islamic sciences teaches us how to expel these false idols and kick the shaitan out of our lives. By way of metaphor, the Prophet Muhammad removed the false idols that had filled the kaaba. Through time, the pure worship of Allah taught by the Prophet Ibrahim became influenced by the desires and wants of the people, whose internal disobedience to God manifested itself in idolatry and human worship. With the coming of the Prophet's message, the false idols in the hearts of the people were removed, and so too were those in the kaaba. By learning and following the Prophet's example, we find happiness, though some may percieve it otherwise. The ocean may seem deadly to a bird but represents freedom to a fish. Sister, don't feel tempted by the shaitan to disobey Allah. He is tempting to plant some falsehood or lie in your heart since he is so angry you have found the truth. May Allah grant you a blossoming of knowledge. I'm sorry if my words are not too practical :) |
| 04/18/03 at 19:41:22 |
| lightningatnite |
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