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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Oh.... what to do?? |
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| Ameeraana |
| 04/20/03 at 17:53:41 |
| [slm] Oh..l just heard some news that made me sad... one of my best friends (who is Muslim) and I have not talked to each other for about a week and a half now and another best friend just called and told me she has converted back to Greek Orthodox.... She was Greek Orthodox when I met her 4 yrs ago and after a couple of years she reverted to Islam and married a Muslim and moved to Saudi. She was held hostage and abused by her husband and luckily she was able to escape. She converted back to Greek Orthodox when she got back. A few months later I reverted which shocked her and we got to talking about Islam and she reverted back a few months later and she has been searching like crazy for a husband since around October of last year and was heartbroken several times...the most recent one happened a few weeks ago... So now she is back to Greek Orthodox... and is dating a man of this religion and is back to partying and drinking.... I just probably need a few to swallow all of this but I am sad... but, what can I do? I think a big part of it for her is that it is so much harder to find a Muslim husband when you have no Muslim family and cannot date but now she is back to being able to date and party and stuff.... though I know she won't say that this is the reason why ... so I am just not going to really ask her much about why she converted again. I feel so sorry for her though, because her priority in life is finding a husband and she has tried so hard with several Muslim men over the internet and they ended up rejecting. She always talked to me how she does not believe in Jesus the way her family and the Greek Orthodox community does and that she believes what the Qur'an says. But I wonder if it was really in her heart or if all the stress of searching for a husband just did her in? Ameera |
| 05/01/03 at 22:15:34 |
| Ameeraana |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 04/21/03 at 00:07:32 |
| asalaam alakum, maybe you can speak with your Imam and ask him if he knows any good brothers who are interested in marrying a sister who is a recent convert. Then some how have them meet without the sister knowing that this brother is actually meeting her for the purpose of marriage. For example, invite her out to lunch, then ask this brother to also go to the same restauraunt at the same time. Sit at tables that are near each other, and if he is interested, then he can strike up a conversation with both of you as if this is the first time he has meet both of you. Maybe inshAllah if he is a good brother, and it works out, he can help her to stay on the straight path. Most importantly, make sure it is a brother who is a legal citizen of the country so that he does not use her for citizenship purposes and then disposes of her afterwards. This will surely be too much for her. If you have a husband or brother, it might be a good idea to take them with you guys to the restaurant as this might make the brother who is in a position to propose more comfortable. there are many scenerios that can be played out, depending on how comfortable the brother is. For example, if it is a buffet style restaurant, maybe he can strike up a conversation with her at the buffet, of course maintaining an Islamic manner at all times, ie no flirting, touching, staring too long , etc. He is there to find out her personality and character. InshAllah please keep us updated to what happens inshAllah. w'salam. |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 04/21/03 at 00:52:07 |
| [slm] The last thing this sister needs right now is a husband! |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| Nomi |
| 04/21/03 at 02:21:58 |
| [slm] all... Sister ameera i know how it feels when you find out that someone close to you has left islaam to join some other religion, new converts to islaam should always be told that "A religion should be judged by its Scripture and not by its people" because there are muslims who. Allah forbid, are giving a very bad name to islaam, i dont know what Allah has got for such Muslims the actions of whom make ppl hate islam but i feel that, that something is not good !! anywayz it has happened to me also and i really felt deserted though the one who converted to other religion wasn't a friend but still it hurts and it hurts so much and here is what helped me change things for me actually my elder bro and a net-friend gave me the same piece of advice and it goes like this... Obviously each and every person counts and we must always try to talk to ppl who fall prey to devil like that friend of yours, i know that we must think positive about others but having said that there are people with different priorites, plz dont mind me saying this but, i think that ur friend never converted to islaam for the sake of it but she might have converted for that muslim guy who then proved to be cheap enough to treat her like that, if she has had converted for Allah and Islam she would have been a muslim still. Yes the incident of your friend pained my heart as well but there are 6 billion? ppl in the world ! 1.2 billion? of them muslims and there ARE many [in thousand? may be more] muslims who are falling prey to the devil and the culture of kuffar so we must be strong and we must rise above such incidences, yes you should try and convince her, you should tell her to judge islaam by its scripture and not by the actions of some morons [pardon my lingo] but again you must not be downed so much by it as "the world is our arena" our buddies are falling prey all around, although the number is very low as compared to conversions to islaam but still.. why? why even one? and we should remember that ayah of Qur'an that speaks of ppl who'll never give in.... [can someone paste that ayah for me here !] ... and Allah addressed Muhammad [saw] in Qur'an and told Him that there are ppl in this world who may make him [Muhammad [saw]] drift [Allah forbid, and correct me if i'm wrong] ! So the bottomline is, yes, you should try to convince her but dont be downed so much by the whole thing because "the world in our arena" inshAllah .... those who dont give in even after being shown the light with proper reasoning are the one who are to be blamed! they are themselves being cruel to their souls... i hope i made sense Asim Zafar [a brother in islaam] |
| 04/21/03 at 02:32:00 |
| Nomi |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| mr-bean |
| 04/21/03 at 04:10:01 |
| [slm] kind of off the topic....but kinda related... when i was at uni (1) about a third of the pakistani students from abroad decided to leave islam all a once because of one charasmatic athiest pakistani grad student (4-5 people) (2) one of the guys who used to travel around giving khutbas and who often gave khutba at our place left islam the year after he graduated....he was incidentally pakistani...and this was after he got married and then divorced...... (3) there was an american girl who was in my calc and writing class who converted when i was a junior....and then i heard that she might have also left islam....but i think that might be wrong... (4) muslims have this idea that problems in foreign lands....e.g. palestine...iraq are the greatest poblems for islam....instead i think it is pretty clear that the biggest problem is that people are leaving islam in hordes....literally hordes if you don't believe me, ask anybody who teaches sunday school at your local islamic centre.....a somewhat unrelated tidbit...when i was a kid the imam at the islamic centre (although a really cool guy in so many respects) used to teach us that you could pretty much ignore the hadith and concentrate pretty much on just the quran ! ...another tidbit...during my first week at uni....a muslim student student from morrocco who was a child prodigy jumped off the top of the building and killed himself.....thank God i wasn't in my room then... |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| Nomi |
| 04/21/03 at 04:24:51 |
| again i'd like ppl to refer back to my previous post on the same topic... we must feel for them but its they who are being cruel to their own souls as i'm sure that they wont be able to answer you if they are asked the reason for leaving islaam ! i'm telling this from my own experiences |
| 04/21/03 at 04:31:37 |
| Nomi |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| Mulla |
| 04/26/03 at 01:58:13 |
| bismillah rahaman raheem... The "reasons" of "coming" into the fold of Islam are the "reasons" which take people out of Islam...... Seeking hidaya should be the "reason" of coming into Islam and if anything else is going to be the basis of coming into Islam, dissapointment is the only thing people will feel and abondon the path once they do not get what they want.......... Hence all we can do is still be friends with such cause once they are going to be stung by the "freedom" of the nafs and its side effects they will look for "hugging" chests and "help" , only and only then true Islam will come to them.... In urdu they say... Nasha pila ke girana to sab ko ata hai... Maza to tab hai ke girtoon ko tham le saki! Mulla! |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| se7en |
| 05/01/03 at 14:43:37 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, Oh man, SubhanAllah :( Allahu a'lam.. from what you've said I get the feeling that she has not *rejected* Islam in her heart, but that there is just so much pain and rejection associated with the deen, from her dealing with these men, that she wants to rid herself of all of it and start anew. If you can just form a positive association for her between Islam and good things.. like a feeling of inner peace, intellectual stimulation, a sense of sisterhood and care, a feeling of closeness to God.. I think these may reconcile her heart with the deen and bring her in.. much more so than finding a good Muslim guy for her. I agree with bro abu_hamza, a husband is probably the last thing she needs right now. It is never a good thing to rely on someone else that intensely.. because human beings are by their nature weak, and may disappoint and hurt you. It is important for her to develop a reliance and dependance on Allah, for He will never disappoint or let anyone down. If you can get her interested in thing related to Islam that do not have to do with marriage or men, but instead have to do with positive good, spiritual things, this may inspire her to return to Islam. w'Allah a'lam. *sigh* May Allah, the Controller of hearts, turn your friends heart back to the deen, and all those who turn away from the deen because of the actions of Muslims. And may He grant hidaya and maghfirah to the Muslims who had the opp to draw ppl in to khayr, but instead turned people away due to their own weaknesses and defeciency. wasalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah |
| 05/01/03 at 14:49:20 |
| se7en |
| Re: Oh.... what to do?? |
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| a.umar |
| 11/13/03 at 11:00:47 |
| ASSALAMU ALAIKUM, I read you post and actually am so sad, though such is life: who ever Allah set unto the straight path no one can set astray. Please if you can give me her email address i will be very greatful. masalamz. a.umar |
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