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Yearning Souls: A letter to My little Sister

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Yearning Souls: A letter to My little Sister
Maliha
04/22/03 at 09:25:46
[slm]
[i]
A dedication to all my struggling sisters, when the path seems too jagged and the light too dim...

A letter to my Little Sister; From my soul to yours

My heart bled yesterday when the magnitude of your words set in. I listened to you, but more importantly the yearning that emanated from your soul, your words resonating with a frustration I knew much about “But I don’t understand, Why can’t I be consistent?” I tried to explain to you, my words faltering, my heart weeping. I tried to explain to you that this my dear is the human condition. We are born forgetful, our roots are nurtured in haste. Your words rang with clear frustration at your inability to fully implement what you needed to soar. Yet how could I tell you, that I have lived a decade more than you and I still haven’t figured out the art of applying all that I know. How could I still your heart, when mine was falling apart.

“Oh sweet heart don’t be so hard on yourself”,  I tried, echoing empty words I have heard before. “I am not hard enough on my self, and that’s the problem” You came back, strong, defiant. My courage left me. Tears threatened to overflow my being. What can I say to you, when every word I articulated was ricocheting dangerously in the hollow depths of my being? You were mirroring all my weaknesses, my faults, yet I had to be strong. I had to infuse you with the enthusiasm to keep trekking on this journey. To keep going even when you feel so weak and tired, even when the feeble embers of your soul are threatening to turn to ashes. A million things came to my mind. For my brain is the politician, and could dictate its way out of sticky situations like this. Yet my heart remained despondent, yearning to reach you across monitors, yearning to touch that deep void, and fill it with the Remembrance of the One who would rekindle the flames and illuminate the darkness.

I spoke empty words hiding behind a front of spiritual bravery. Ibn Qayyim, Sh. Hamza Yusuf, Imam Al Ghazali, echoes of distant phrases of advice I kept spilling so may be you’ll understand that you are not alone. Great heights have trekked the same journey you are on, faltered, but kept going nonetheless. For turning back is the suicide of the heart, and staying still is idleness. So keep trekking even when your feet are bleeding, and your heart is sore, even when you think He doesn’t hear you, even when it’s dark and scary, and even when you think you have failed.
I later recalled these poignant words of wisdom, that have lifted my spirit at my lowest point.

“Do not abandon invocation because you do not feel the presence of Allah therein. For your distraction from invoking Him is worse than your distraction while invoking Him. It might be that He will lift you out of remembrance with distraction to remembrance with vigilance, and from remembrance with vigilance to one with Presence, and from remembrance with Presence to a remembrance which has in it nothing other than Him Who is remembered: “And that is not difficult for Allah.”[14:20] “

Will you believe me if I told you that Allah loves you? Would you really let these words seep into your soul? You are His creation, He took perfect care in molding you, perfecting your form, fashioning your soul. He bestowed your righteous parents to nurture you, blessed you with brothers and sisters who ceaselessly pray for your wellbeing, He then satisfied your every need, perfected your every limb, and showered you with His guidance and Mercy. I took a walk around my neighborhood, and I never fail to reflect on the sheer beauty of where we live. Splendid architecture, surrounded by the most colorful flowers, wild, thorny, roses, lawns that are perfectly manicured, and with spring in the air, the chirping of birds, fluttering of butterflies and the gentlest breeze blowing in and out of my soul. I wondered on the state of our disobedience, and sighed at Allah’s Mercy. I thought of the devastated houses, broken limbs, and shattered hearts that my orphaned brothers and sisters have to survive through. I wonder what makes me so special. My own ingratitude looms like a dark monster in my soul. Yet how could I comfort you, save a fleeting reminder to His never ending Grace?

Your dissatisfaction with your soul should be the very source of gladness for you my dear sister. It is the very lamp that is guiding you towards the Most Merciful. It is that nagging voice inside you that is nudging you towards a blissful awakening, that is preventing you from slumbering away your existence. Do you know how beautiful that is? For a soul so young to recognize its own deficiencies, to yearn to do more? Do you know that in itself is a Blessing from your Creator? How many unfortunate beings are completely unaware of the very existence of their souls? Take a look around you my sister, and you’ll see many people living like zombies, as if they are already dead. I will leave you with a quote from another esteemed seeker:

“The root of every disobedience, distraction and desire lies in being satisfied with the self. The root of every obedience, vigilance and virtue lies in dissatisfaction with the self. It is far better for you to keep company with an ignorant person who is dissatisfied with himself, than to keep company with a learned man who is satisfied with himself. For what knowledge is there in a self- satisfied scholar? And what ignorance is there in an unlearned man, dissatisfied with himself? “

I feel like I have spoken much and there’s nothing else to say except turn to Him who hears all our cries, and wipes all our tears. Turn to Him who is forever waiting, forever Patient, Most Forgiving, Most Gracious.
Keep journeying on your path to Allah, and He will come running towards you.
Keep marching on His steep path, and you’ll be met with Bliss.
Keep struggling for the end is near,
And the Trial is almost over.

May Allah guide us all into our final abode, thrones of dignity and never ending bliss.
(Amin).

Your Sis in Struggle,
Maliha
[wlm]
[/i]
04/22/03 at 13:12:49
Maliha
Re: Yearning Souls: A letter to My little Sister
deenb4dunya
04/23/03 at 02:13:20
May Allah swt hansomely reward the author.

Re: Yearning Souls: A letter to My little Sister
gift
04/29/03 at 06:26:54
[slm]

:'( :'( :'( :'(
all praise is due to Allah - what a beautiful piece He has enabled you to write.

[wlm]
05/08/03 at 05:38:30
gift
Re: Yearning Souls: A letter to My little Sister
wardah
05/16/03 at 18:21:23

[slm]

wow!!!  :o i'm totally speechless >>



May Allah make things easy for us and help us all and guide us all...Ameen!
Re: Yearning Souls: A letter to My little Sister
AyeshaZ
06/11/03 at 14:45:36

Subhan'Allah!!! I feel as though i have traveled through my soul after reading this!!!!
May Allah(swt) reward you much!!!
06/11/03 at 14:46:38
AyeshaZ


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