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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Internet Match-ups |
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| Muna |
| 04/22/03 at 19:05:00 |
| Assalaamu-alaikum EVERYONE Yeah its me again ..... :) i noticed underneath my name it says I am a newbie .. I post so much at other boards it feels so wierd to be a newbie! Well well well you always got to start somewhere! Anyways I had this floating in my mind for the past couple of months ... thought it was something I might wanna share :) I notice that a lot of muslim brothers and sisters are meeting over the internet... getting to know each other for marriage purposes and meeting each other in person. I find this quite interesting honestly hmmmm I am not too fond of the idea myself, but I wanna know what your take will be on it is? Would u do it? Have you done it? Or would you ever encourage a friend or relative to do it? Well hope to see ure responses and by the way administrator I love this thingy ----> [] |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| Sunnah |
| 04/22/03 at 23:12:09 |
| [slm] hi sis! i am right behind you, ur medina newbie roomate... ;) i am glad u brought up that subject, its been digging my mind as well. I know few people who had relationship via internet. I honestly spoke to some of opposite members (males). Nyhow its kindda nice though…just to talk I guess. No harm done…as for the actual thing…I am not so sure… Ever heard this phrase? “Seeing is believing” Well that’s true… How can u believe someone over the net? Its not me…but u can never tell… who knows maybe some day I will start to contradict these thoughts. I know someone who fell in love, or claimed to be in love with a guy from internet…he used to live overseas… As time pass they got into more deep hole… … A tragedy took place… The guy was deceiving the girl whole time; he was having another affair with her friend!! And that’s by net too!! She was gone for him! She totally changed…now lives a life of darkness… really mess up life. And in the meantime he is having fun with his other girlfriend. These stories are just too familiar… don’t u think so? My biology teacher told us, from a survey, that when communicating; words (letter, e-mail, chatting) can be trusted only 7%. 35% is hearing the person…and the rest 58% is the body language. So u see its very hard to trust a person over the net. |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| M.F. |
| 04/23/03 at 09:04:58 |
| Assalamu alaikum, I personally know of two cases that worked. the one I know most details about is this: a (female) friend of mine posted a marriage ad in one of those matchmaking boards, and got lots of replies. She went through them to see which one looked most serious and realistic, got in touch with the person, and soon he came to visit her family and ask for her hand in marriage. Bear in mind all this was done with her parents' blessing, so I think that's the first place to start, your parents. Once you've tried everything else and they see there's no other way, then you can go ahead. No point in doing something behind their back and then at the last minute finding yourself in a very painful situation.... So anyway, he came to her home, they got to know each other, and after a while they got married. It actually worked! The other case I know was without the parents' blessing, and though the marriage worked, my friend no longer has a relationship with her parents... which makes life very hard indeed. So, the moral is, it can happen, but: you have to have your parents' blessing, and you have to meet the person "in person" before going any further. Both these conditions I believe are absolutely necessary in order to avoid disappointment and pain at the end. Wallahu a'lam |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| Rameeza |
| 04/23/03 at 11:50:02 |
| [slm] hey what I have to say has nothing to do with the question sorry but I HAVE TO AGREE ABOUT THIS ----------------------> [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] heh heh heh heh heh As for internet stuff, sorry. Don't know much. :( Good Luck, newbie |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| hijabi4L |
| 04/23/03 at 21:02:51 |
| [slm] The one internet case I recall was that of a very good friend of mine, she had gone through many potential husbands, all through the customary ways.... But subhanallah the one that ended up being the ONE was the first and only man that she'd met online. they talked for a couple months, and he flew across the country to come meet her family. So mashallah, she found happiness online, who woulda thought? |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| Sunnah |
| 04/24/03 at 22:30:38 |
| [slm] Hijabi4aL i am glad that it worked out for your friend. thats very nice :) But i still think its not healthy...mostly cuz they may be two faced...once u get married maybe they will start to show their true personalities. Allahu Alam... ma salaam Have more of these sis Rameeza [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| Barr |
| 04/25/03 at 11:29:19 |
| [wlm] warahmatullah :-) U know how U're looking for something, but U found something else? Well, here's a something else thread that I found, while looking for something. http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1043364248 And when i read it, I thought of this thread. Hope this helps, inshaALlah :) Wassalam |
| 04/25/03 at 11:30:10 |
| Barr |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 04/27/03 at 01:48:03 |
| [slm] I thought this was some good information from http://www.islamonline.net/fatwa/english/FatwaDisplay.asp?hFatwaID=6991 [color=Red]Internet Chats Between Males and Females Date of Fatwa 20/ March/ 2002 Date of Reply 20/ March/ 2002 Topic Of Fatwa Manners Question of Fatwa On the Internet, as we know, many youth, males and females, engage in chatting, with aim of getting dates, or to seek friends. Some are possibly looking for a future wife or husband. What is the Islamic stance on that? Name of Mufti Islam Online Fatwa Editing Desk Content of Reply In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. Dear sister in Islam, you have raised a very important question, which reflects what is common nowadays among youth, or, rather, what has become a vogue on which majority don't even bother to know what are the restrictions dictated by religion, in order to preserve morality in the society. Thanks to the sophisticated means of modern communication, everyone finds himself at the mercy of all what is new in technology. Thus, it's very important for Muslim youth to know where he stands, and to always keep in mind that, as he is given full right to make use of any golden opportunity offered by modern technology, he is also required not to forget the duty he owes the Mighty Power that subjects to Him all such avenues of comfort and prosperity. He must not deviate, whatsoever, from the teachings of his religion, in order to preserve his noble identity. As regard your question, we'd like to make it clear that Internet chat is very similar to writing letters or talking to someone on phone. Actually it is a combination of both. Muslims have to observe the same rules as they observe in writing letters or making telephone calls. Islam does not permit love letters or intimate conversations between males and females who are not married to each other. In all our correspondence and conversations we must observe Haya or modesty. Boys and girls should not chat with each other just for socialization or passing time. It is Haram for a non-mahram Muslim male and female to indulge in long conversations with each other unless it is necessary for education or for business. All conversation must be decent. The Qur'an reminds us again and again that all our words are recorded and we shall be held accountable for our words as well as our deeds on the Day of Judgment. (See Al-Ahzab 33:70; Qaf 50:18) If one finds an interesting partner through Internet and there is a desire to know more about each other in order to get married, then one should involve one's elders in this matter. Let the elders or some responsible friends do the investigation and negotiation on your behalf. Even when you want to talk to that person, it is good to have an elder present in this chat. In Islam the Khalwah(privacy) with the non-Mahram female (ajnabiyyah) is forbidden. Khalwah of course occurs when a male and a female are alone in person. But a virtual Khalwah can also happen through conversation by phone or Internet. Just as men and women should not be alone with each other, in a similar way they should not be alone, talking to each other on phone or via Internet chat, especially if such conversation is about personal matters. Allah Almighty knows best. [/color] |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/27/03 at 03:50:09 |
| asalaam alakum, I am currently using the matrimonal ads on the internet. Here are a few pointers inshAllah: 1. Always have your parents/wali/gaurdian with you every step of the way, and make sure that the potential brothers know that. Better yet, have your wali's email on all the mails being sent, that way the brother you are corresponding with knows that you are serious, and does not play games. 2. Be upfront with the person. no need to waste your time or his. 3. have a picture scanned and ready on the website, but only switch if he agrees to send his. that's only fair. 4. Make istikhara prayers and lots of duaa and inshAllah Allah will do what is best for you. |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| Noor |
| 04/27/03 at 07:36:30 |
| So what are the best sites for "prospecting" online? |
| Re: Internet Match-ups |
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| nouha |
| 04/27/03 at 18:53:25 |
| [slm] i know someone who replied to one of those ads without a wali, fell in love with the person, and then four months later he confessed to her that he is allready married and wanted her as a second wife, which she was not happy about. so def go along with the wali thing.. i like the idea posted by anon that you should just have ur wali's email....:) wasalam nouha:) |
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