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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Muslims with eating disorders? |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/22/03 at 22:59:24 |
| Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah Has anyone ever dealt with close friends who have an "eating disorder"? What advice would you give to a fellow muslim brother or sister who is or has the symptoms of anorexia? What should you do when the person has taken asceticism to a whole new level. For instance...at first the sister seems as if she is sacrificing the pleasures of this world for her deen, but now I'm worried about her health situation and well being. She isn't preoccupied with *losing* weight, rather she has no desire to eat anything whatsoever. She also appears to have lost some weighp, yet at the same time she still looks healthy. Since she also has perfectionist like tendencies, it is hard to give her advice once she is fixated upon and idea. What adivce can I offer from a fellow muslimah's perspective? While our society supposedly appreciates women who are slimmer, I know I will have a hard time trying to justify the idea of *gaining* weight. Is it worth getting someone in the community involved while also creating the risk of losing the confidence of a close friend and also placing her in a potentially dangerous situation in the future where she wouldn't confide in anyone. Any input will be appreciated. jazakum Allah Khair wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah |
| Re: Muslims with eating disorders? |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 04/23/03 at 01:16:03 |
| [slm] sister IF she is anorexic then its definately worth getting someone involved. This can cause alot of future health problems. The treatment is also a very long and hard process when the situation gets worse. May Allah (swt) help her good 2 know ur their for her, (dont give up on her) your sis |
| Re: Muslims with eating disorders? |
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| BrKhalid |
| 04/23/03 at 09:01:03 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote]She isn't preoccupied with *losing* weight, rather she has no desire to eat anything whatsoever[/quote] Is she doing this because she thinks its the Islamic thing to do? |
| Re: Muslims with eating disorders? |
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| jannah |
| 04/24/03 at 05:38:55 |
| [slm] It is so sad to me to hear of all these cases of anoroexia, other disorders, even heard of recent cases of Muslims who commit self-inflected violence. If I had time to go back again I think I'd major in Psych.d counseling. However I don't know if I could actually help anyone since it would be very difficult for me on a personal level! Anyways the first thing to understand is the difference between just having certain tastes and ways of doing things and when it becomes abnormal or a disorder. A disorder is when something affects a person's life in a detrimental way in their day to day life. So is your friend being affected negatively by her diet? Is her health suffering? Is her daily life being affected detrimentally? Or is she just a "health fan" and trying to lose weight just to look nicer or just trying to practice some zuhud as you mentioned. To really determine this you need to just be her friend without any judgements and study her behavior over time. You can then try to see if she does have all the symptoms of a defined 'eating disorder'. There are lots of websites to help in this: This one seemed pretty good: http://www.something-fishy.org/default.php If she does then it's obvious that she needs help. The only problem is she has to be the one to want and accept the help. Telling someone else in the community can have alot of backlash especially if she doesn't think she has a problem. You can give her all the advice you want but if she doesn't want to seek help she won't. And I would absolutely recommend professional help. To be honest, Imams and friends are not qualified or don't really understand these things. And others have studied them in case after case, they know quite a bit about it and they also know the successful theories and practices of treatment. Psychology/Psychiatry is exactly there to help people in these types of things and it really is a science. So just as easily as someone can fall into some type of behavior they can also unlearn it. Anyway before i go off on more of a psych tangent.. it's important to remember that this isn't necessarily just about 'eating' there are usually a lot more factoral causes going on.. like the issue of wanting to control something in a person's life, to feel alive. self-esteem/self-hate issues, relationship, stress, so there is alot going on that needs to be understood and treated... not just the symptoms. So really, in the end, be her friend for now unless it's a matter of life and death. Try to see if it's really an eating disorder, and if so try to get her to see it as that as well, and over time let her know there are avenues of help if she so chooses. That's the best I can come up with... Allahu alam.. read some of those sites inshaAllah too for some advice from professionals... |
| 04/24/03 at 05:42:36 |
| jannah |
| Re: Muslims with eating disorders? |
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| Ruqayyah |
| 04/24/03 at 17:56:15 |
| [slm] I was reading up on anorexia nervosa and found this: [quote]On the other hand, anorexia nervosa is also associated with an impressive long-term mortality. The best data currently available suggest that 10% to 20% of patients who have been hospitalized for anorexia nervosa will, in the next 10 to 30 years, die as a result of their illness. [/quote] So as people have said above, seeking out professional help is a must, b/c people really do die from Anorexia. Jannah, I feel the same way about going into counseling. inshallah i'd like to one day get some training in that b/c our ummah really really needs it right now. Anon, inshallah i hope your friend gets the type of help she needs. In her mind she could be justifying this behavior by saying that she's trying to increase her level of iman by fasting when really she might be going overboard w/ it b/c she really has an eating d/o. inshallah i'll make dua for her as well. psych disorders can be real test of your patience as a friend, so hang in there. [wlm] ruqayyah |
| Re: Muslims with eating disorders? |
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| Ameeraana |
| 04/24/03 at 21:53:36 |
| [slm] [color=Blue] It is so hard to help friends with eating disorders. I have friends who have survived eating disorders...and it wasn't easy. One is having eating disorders right now. My one friend who is in what we can call "remission" of her disease we tried to help for years. She was anorexic for 7 years and I remember her parents tried to force treatment on her which of course did not work because she did not see she had a problem. It finally took a doctor telling her she has 5years to live and that even if she gets over the anorexia that she won't live past 35. She was extremely scared by his words and finally opened up to let herself see what she was doing to herself. And actually, while suffering her anorexia, she didn't take our words of concern the way we meant for them to. She saw our concern as her success at losing the weight. One of my friends who is right now going through an eating disorder ignores our words also. She says she knows what she is doing and as long as she can fit in her jeans she is perfectly happy. It is so difficult because until they actually come to accept that they have a disorder/disease/addiction-- they won't want the help themselves. But it doesn't mean to give up trying. Eating disorders kill.[/color] Ameera |
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