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Palestine? Do I exist?

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Palestine? Do I exist?
Trustworthy
04/25/03 at 21:04:56
[slm]

Palestine?  Do I exist?

Many days have gone by and the world is still spinning
I'm left alone in my pain looking through my dismantled home
No one to hear my cries over the sounds of hate that surrounds me
No one to heal my ill heart, I keep it locked up inside

No longer can I express my pain and anguish through tears
I've got to the point that I've regressed
And repression is how I fight against anger
But if anger’s a gift then I guess I've been blessed

If you have seen what I still see
The thirst for earth from the enemies that wish to see it drenched with my blood
They quench to torture my father, beat my mother, rape my sister, cut my brother from ear to ear, and put a bullet into my heart
Heaven I know soon my time will come

Darkness is all that I embark in the shadows of despair
Involved with involuntary thoughts of evil triggered by hurt and persistence
The twisted web of tangled lies and broken promises
Strangles the hope to waste and numbs the taste of freedom that I crave

I am forced to face these crimes of hate against the state of my existence
Feeling the weight of the world upon my weak shoulders
My heart is in a constant wave of tension
The lessons that are taught before my eyes is the reality of my own little world

I feel myself in question, there is no trust
I've opened up my mind and have felt the truth forever
I know the truth but I still wonder why
I want to know the answers yet I want to shut the door

I want to runaway but I have no place to go
Angry voices in another wave of tension has more than filled me up like a loaded weapon
Wishing I could find a way to disappear takes me one step closer to the edge
I find bliss in ignorance, all these thoughts they make no sense

The less I hear, the less I feel
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
When you cut me do I not bleed?
Do you not feel my warm blood wrapped around your hands?

All my desire to take action, please release me and let me be
You took the best of me, please don't take the rest of me
Let me find the peace that I so desperately need
This little world of mine is broken
How broken it is, I still call it home
But Palestine, do I exist?  
I answer to the world outside, "I am Palestine.  Yes, I do exist."

Amina Ahmad
Copyright January 2003
Re: Palestine? Do I exist?
Trustworthy
04/29/03 at 15:33:23
Living Nightmare

It is your duty to care for the sick
Be grateful that you are healthy
It is your duty to help a person in need
Be empathetic not sympathetic
Prepare yourself for your patients are coming
Bloodied faces, bone protrusions, crater wounds
Take a hold of my hand to ease your pain
“Tell my wife please, ‘Forgive me, I broke my promise.’”
Close his eyes after his last breath is taken

Take a hold of my hand to ease your pain
“Tell my 2 year old son please, ‘Protect your mother always and be good.’”
Let him give one last squeeze as he gulps the air for the last time
Take a hold of my hand to ease your pain
“Tell my sister please, ‘My wedding dress is yours.  At least it’s not a hand-me-down.’”
Stay with her until her smile fades
Exhaustion will be overwhelming, rest when you feel weak
Here comes another truck load of patients
Take a hold of my hand to ease your pain
“Tell my brother please, ‘Don’t worry about it.  Life’s too short.’”
Keep him warm until there is no more wind coming from his face

Take a hold of my hand to ease your pain
“Tell my dad please, ‘Happy birthday.  I died in glory.’”
Let him hug you until his grip is lightened
Take a hold of my finger to ease your pain
“Could you please tell Mama that I’m sorry I broke Nanna’s broach? And give her my piggy bank that’s under my bed.”
Cradle her close to your body until the warmth between you is completely gone
Exhausted she falls asleep in her tears, waking up screaming in sweat
Waking up in a warm bed, she looks around and wonders if it was all just a nightmare
Reaching in her pocket, she finds a handful of folded notes
Reading them, tears trickle down her cheeks as she starts to send each one home

Prepare yourself for your patients are coming
Bloodied faces, bone protrusions, crater wounds
Take a hold of my hand to ease your pain
“I know I’m not going to live.  I wanted to tell you that you being with me in my final hour eases the pain.  Thank you with all my heart.”

Amina Ahmad
Copyright 2003


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