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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Help [Not content w/decision] |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/27/03 at 04:02:45 |
| Salaam, o.k. ive been visiting this site for a while now, and u guys sound pretty intelligent, just need to ask sum wise jannah woman a question...what wud u do ina situation like this...mayb the correct thing to do is istikhara, but consultation is important too....so here it goes....... ive cum across this guy ( marriage proposal) he visited my hme, the families met- i met him for the first time too..it all went ahead fine, we dne istikhara- gud- they dne istikhara- gud, so in the meantime this guy was talking to me too...however all of a sudden his sister dne istikhar, which she didnt feel content with, so the whole thing was kinda called off, the worst thing was that only a day b4 the guy was pouring out his true inner feelings.... well i decided to spk to him directly as it was all a bit of a shock! the strangest thing is that he too didnt feel content with the decision made..( still living in hpe) so he decided to spk to his parents again, they've decided to consult the local maulana saab........but i dnt knw which way to go with the whole thing ???? ? any wise suggestions, it wud b nice to get sum objective advice. thanx girls. |
| Re: Help [Not content w/decision] |
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| sista |
| 04/27/03 at 07:41:46 |
| [slm] Hmm...istikhaara can be repeated - no harm in that if you're not sure. I went through the whole process of rishte etc myself...these matters are delicate - there's often a lot of emotion involved - especially for sisters (me definitely ;D) and this [i]may[/i] bias our feelings about istikhaara "results"... I found that this happened to me frequently with one particular brother...it's really tough sometimes to truly put aside your own wishes and leave it entirely in the hands of Allah, but it's a prerequisite for istikhaara of course...you know best whether this applies to you/the bro in question...or perhaps it applies the sister, in which case Allah knows best... Otherwise, the only other course of action is to ask someone knowledgeable, which you appear to be doing. I pray that turns out ok for you inshallah. Meanwhile, make lots of dua (repeating istikhaara if you feel it is appropriate) and... ...be good to all the individuals (esp parents) involved. It's very easy for ill feelings to arise in such circumstances...and it is in the interests of the conscientious Muslim to try to avert this as much as possible. So be good to the family (not saying you’re not already ;)), be as self-sacrificing as possible, accept the possiblity that marriage to this brother [i]may[/i] not be written for you, and hold no rancour in your heart for the sister or any of the family for that matter whether or not this proves to be the case…and keep turning to Allah sincerely. It will work out inshallah :) Keep the faith sis! [wlm] |
| 04/27/03 at 09:11:01 |
| sista |
| Re: Help [Not content w/decision] |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 04/27/03 at 20:30:36 |
| [slm] sister Sister I agree, one can constantly do istikhara if they are not sure. I also hear it is best if you personally do istikhara and he personally does istikhara himself also. May Allah (swt) do what is best for you. Ameen. your sister ps there have been alot of discussions on istikhara. if i find them i will post the link and if anyone else can then plz do. you can also do a search on archives. |
| Re: Help [Not content w/decision] |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 04/28/03 at 00:22:48 |
| [slm] :) Sister Barr posted this link in 'how to say no' post. Very interesting discussion, mash'Allah (God Bless you Barr) Chek it out, : http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1037212481 hope it helps, insh'Allah. all the best, your sis |
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