A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| jaihoon |
| 05/09/03 at 17:44:37 |
| More and More Women Want to Stay Slim Halah Al-Nasir, halahalnasir@hotmail.com The program entitled “No Way Except to Lose Weight” on an Arab television channel made many Saudi women angry. It was presented so as to emphasize the physical beauty of the women who presented it; needless to say, it attracted large numbers of Saudi male viewers. Nonetheless, it encouraged many Saudi women to take exercise and visit health clubs; not only do they want to lose weight and look attractive, but they also want to keep their husbands from thinking of a second wife. A number of women-only health clubs have appeared all over the Kingdom in response to a growing demand. Arab News visited some health clubs in Riyadh and met the Saudi women who are their customers. Umm Razan, a doctor in a government hospital, said that she joined the club to lose weight which she had gained during pregnancy. She selected swimming as way to shed the extra weight. Many women at the clubs are university students. According to Umm Razan, they look on the place as a way to show off their social status, “but women like me come here in an effort to retain their looks and the hearts of their husbands — who are sometimes thinking of other women because their wives are not taking care of themselves.” Many women, she pointed out, wake up to the truth only after learning that their husbands have another woman in their life. Bashaer Abdullah is thankful to Arabic satellite channels for encouraging her to visit health clubs. “My husband always sits in front of the TV and talks shamelessly about the beauty of the female Lebanese television newsreaders. He also often looks at the exercise program presented by a woman who is deliberately sexually provocative. When I reproached him for watching such programs, he advised me to watch it, lose weight and save my looks. His reply really angered me but it made me think about joining the club,” she admitted. Hanan, the beautiful mother of three, comes to the club just to stay in shape. She said her husband used to watch the singer Shakira and her performances. “From that day, I tried to imitate Shakira, applying the same dye to my hair and buying the clothes like she wears. I also joined the health club,” she said. “The club has totally changed my body shape and now I criticize my husband for his flabbiness,” she added. At one club I found a 48-year-old woman named Jauhara. She is well-known and seems to be the oldest member. She comes with her two teenage daughters. She has visited a number of clubs in the city over the years and she said social customs had played a big role in contributing to obesity among Saudi women. “Physical exercise is not meant for women in a particular age group. It is essential for every woman. Because of our social meetings which often end up in lavish lunches or dinners, we have to exercise in order to lose weight. At home, we leave housework to maids. The climate here does not allow us to walk outside. Men often do not have time to get out with their families for a walk. Here at the club, I use the exercise equipment and my daughters do aerobics.” Noura Al-Saad joined the club because of her conviction that obesity is linked to many diseases. “I became diabetic and the doctor advised me to diet and lose 15 kilograms. He told me that exercise will help reduce blood sugar without having to take medicine.” Noura said the fees were comparatively high and attributed them to the quality of service. “The membership system is excellent and user-friendly as it offers a number of different choices. Members can also freeze memberships for a time because of travel, pregnancy, disease, etc.” At the clubs, there is a shortage of qualified Saudi women trainers. Muneera Al-Shenaify, a Saudi trainer who studied in the United States, says satellite channels have played a big role in encouraging women to visit health clubs. “Obesity, caused by lack of movement and the spread of fast food, is the main reason for women going to health clubs and gyms,” she observed. She also admitted that prices at many clubs were probably too high. She said most clubs had not appointed Saudis who understand the nature of the country, its people and the language. “A successful trainer must study each woman’s condition before suggesting an exercise program for her. The trainer should also conduct tests about once a month.” Another trainer blamed Saudi colleges and universities for the lack of female trainers as they do not offer courses in the field. “After returning from the US, I decided to open an institute to train Saudi women under the auspices of the Youth Welfare Presidency. Unfortunately I could get no support from the presidency or my family,” she said. She emphasized the importance of introducing physical education in girls schools. “It will not only create self-confidence among girls, contribute to their physical strength and health but it will also protect them from certain psychological problems.” Canadian trainer Laila says, “Some women go to gyms just to boast to their friends or to impress others, and not for reasons of health. Many fat girls go to gyms but they do not properly exercise.” She says clubs in the Kingdom are affordable only to a certain group of women as their charges are four times as much as at similar clubs in the US and Europe. She believes that prices will come down over time as more clubs open and competition becomes keener. “It’s an unhealthy practice to allocate places for smokers in a health club,” said Laila, who has been providing training for eight years and works as a dietitian at a hospital. For the last three years, she has worked as a part-time trainee at three clubs. She says, “A model club should have three things: Cleanliness, quality service and qualified staff.” Arab News Features 9 May 2003 |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Kathy |
| 05/09/03 at 19:43:38 |
| sigh..... too bad these women feel so threatened...says alot about their husbands. :P imagine a world where the women wanted to loose weight for herself and her health.... I really would like to delete this article because it is sending out the wrong message... even if it is true..... |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| BroHanif |
| 05/09/03 at 20:13:37 |
| salaams, [quote]Hanan, the beautiful mother of three, comes to the club just to stay in shape. She said her husband used to watch the singer Shakira and her performances. “From that day, I tried to imitate Shakira, applying the same dye to my hair and buying the clothes like she wears. I also joined the health club,” she said. “The club has totally changed my body shape and now I criticize my husband for his flabbiness,” she added. [/quote] sad or what. jeez and having kids as well ? No wonder the men are a bunch of cowards Salaams Hanif |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Ameeraana |
| 05/09/03 at 21:16:54 |
| [slm] Thats disgusting that the message of this article is pretty much saying its ok for men to treat their wives this way. And the fact that these men are ok to be "looking around" at other women instead of lowering their gaze. Yes, its importand to be healthy and to exercise for health. Yes, its nice to exercise to improve our bodies but that should be done for oneself!! Its one thing for a man to encourage his wife to exercise, but to threaten her to "exercise or else"... Ughhh!!! Ameera |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Barr |
| 05/09/03 at 23:53:12 |
| [wlm] :-) I have only 1 emoticon for this article [img]http://www.jp3d.net/yahoo/images/new/26.gif[/img] [quote]not only do they want to lose weight and look attractive, but they also want to keep their husbands from thinking of a second wife[/quote] That must be a joke! Whether a man will think of having 2nd wives (even if its for a fleeting moment) will not be due to whether U look like Shakira or not. That is so immaterial. Look deeper. Just don't be surprised that sometimes, its not abt you.. its just him. |
| 05/10/03 at 00:25:19 |
| Barr |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Bismillah23 |
| 05/10/03 at 01:02:55 |
| [slm] woah... let me just keep on reading other topics... :P how offensive! id have to agree with the other sis's about this one. i feel sorry for the saudi women out there,their husbands shouldnt be putting them down like that to "lose it or move it".... |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/11/03 at 01:40:41 |
| [slm] [quote]That must be a joke! Whether a man will think ob having 2nd wives (even if its for a fleeting moment) will not be due to whether U look like Shakira or not. That is so immaterial. Look deeper. Just don't be surprised that sometimes, its not abt you.. its just him. [/quote] ALhumdulilah! This is sooo true. I have heard of a man taking a second wife although he has the most beaiutiful and most pious wife. nobody else could understand why he would want a second wife (as his first wife was obedient and since she was sad about it) Somtimz its not the woman, its just the man himself. I do have to say that we should definately take care of ourself to improve our health but the reason should not be limited to that, As we also have the obligation to take care of our bodies for our spouse. |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| jaihoon |
| 05/11/03 at 04:34:53 |
| [quote author=a silverose link=board=sis;num=1052513077;start=0#6 date=05/11/03 at 01:40:41] [slm] As we also have the obligation to take care of our bodies for our spouse. [/quote] which is a form of ibaadat for the pleasure of Allah! (logic: pleasing parents, pleasing Allah. Similiarly, pleasing husband, pleasing Allah) |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Emerald |
| 05/11/03 at 16:46:29 |
| I think I'm about to hurl! I can't believe that instead of empowering the sister's out there, we're breaking their self-esteem and self worth! The first lesson here is that if a man is so materialistic, he can in no way be a pious man and therefore should be kicked to the curb! The topic came up with me and my husband. I had gained an extra 5 pounds and he brought it to my attention, so I just told him...uh no, don't even TRY to go there! I love my body, always have and always will. Besides when we got married I was heavier than this- so shush it! I think I'm a good Muslimah and fear Allah (swt) walhamdullilah BUT no way am I going to let a man affect my self-esteem. If I'm gonna look beautiful for him he'd better do the same for me and since he's never going to be a Ben Afleck it's better to accept each other for who and what we are. |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 05/11/03 at 21:30:30 |
| [slm] WoW!!! :o :o :o zeeee i didn't know this is how some Saudi men are!! and they are Muslim? huh. i feel bad for those sisters there. hopefully those men will realize whats beauti is all about. i can't ever imagine my future hubbey marrying another girl if i get fat! i wonder what those men do when their wives get pregnant? maybe they will be like "o honey you are soooooo fat and ugly." hehehehehe "Bashaer Abdullah is thankful to Arabic satellite channels for encouraging her to visit health clubs. “My husband always sits in front of the TV and talks shamelessly about the beauty of the female Lebanese television newsreaders. He also often looks at the exercise program presented by a woman who is deliberately sexually provocative. When I reproached him for watching such programs, he advised me to watch it, lose weight and save my looks. His reply really angered me but it made me think about joining the club,” she admitted. " [quote][/quote] :o :o :o :o :o what a shame! if that was me in that situation i would have broken the tv into million of pieces!!! some men---------------->>>> wild animals (not all ofcourse!!) there are some woderful brothers out there. Good luck to the saudi women. [wlm] |
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| Ameeraana |
| 05/11/03 at 22:19:44 |
| [slm] [size=2][color=Red]Its not only Saudi women that experience stuff like this. It is so sad that in many cases yoiu will see that it is widely accepted for Muslim men to not have to lower their gaze. Its not all Muslim men, but it happens an awful lot!!![/color] [color=Green]One case in point. I was talking with my fiancee and he told me that one day he and his friend were walking around a mall in Dubai and his friend was just staring at all the women who were not covered walking around. My fiancee told him that he should lower his gaze and his friend replied "Well, I am allowed 4 wives" [/color] [color=Blue] .... ughhh [/color] [color=Green]My fiancee tried to talk to him about how inappropriate that comment was but his friend replied "Just wait until you are married. Then you will know..." [/color] [color=Blue] ...... double ughhh[/color][/size] Ameera |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/11/03 at 22:48:05 |
| [slm] Yah it does seem to happen alot which is very sad since this is opposite of Islamic teachings. Allah (swt) orders men first to lower their gaze: [i]Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that will make for greater purity for them...Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...O you believers! Turn you all together towards Allah that you may attain success" (24:30,31). [/i] [i]Jabir bin Abdullah reported: "I asked Allah's messenger about the sudden glance on the face of a non-Mahram. He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes" (Muslim). [/i] |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Maliha |
| 05/12/03 at 08:03:30 |
| [slm] uggghhhh....the disgusting depths we have descended to >:( Staring at Shakira? Some Lebanese Newscaster? blah..blah..blah ::) No wonder divorces are on the rise and the family unit is disintegrating. We are told not to even go near zina and that encompasses the "gaze". Weaklings! Jaihoon your point is mute. It's one thing for a wife to do something with the intention of pleasing her hubby, its another for a husband to drive her to change herself for fear he will marry/gaze lustfully/andwhoknowswhat else do to other women out there. Islam is supposed to preserve the dignity of women, since when did we become some sort of chattel? In a world where millions are dying, and other starving, men and women should be focused on much more than the superficialities of life. :P Sis-happy-with-my-bod, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| there is no end to such frustration, unless... |
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| Nomi |
| 05/12/03 at 08:51:03 |
| now i'm beginning to feel guilty, although i wont ever be such a jerk who would say all those things to my would be wife but these men are embarrassing and are giving a very bad name to all the rest of us!!! Lack of faith in Allah, Lack of faith in the hereafter, Lack of moral values etc ... and last but not the least, the media! How cheap, to threaten one's wife like that... and for the muslim men out there, please brothers talk to your male friends who are into such things and ask them to lower their gaze and be content with what Allah has blessed them with... Many people are beautiful/pretty/handsome in a different and in a special way, some look beautiful with glowing faces, some with the smile that they have, some with the way they talk, some with the height and body and many such parameters, so be content with what you have (both bros and siss) because otherwise there is no end to it !!! Asim Zafar |
| 05/12/03 at 11:25:57 |
| Nomi |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/12/03 at 09:40:15 |
| [slm] let me preface this by saying that (1) i am an idiot (2) i am a moron (3) i have as much common sense as a four door station wagon... but....i'm not a misogynist.... the thing is lots and lots of religious muslim women feel that excercise and keeping fit is like....well beneath them...my mom is like that. my dad goes out walking (he can't run anymore because of a back condition)....but my mom could hardly be bothered to join him...no matter how much pressure is put on her. and this is a very worrying for us kids...because we don't want our mom to get diabetes, heart trouble....and the all the other stuff that comes with getting fat... my mom thinks she is still very beautiful (and well she is), but that doesn't give people like her the right to snub their noses at excercise and stuff like that.... and more generally...most of the middle aged women in my family are *large*...and that's not because of genes...that's because of a lack of excercise....they just couldn't be bothered with it.... and even more generally...lots of us guys have found a correlation between hijabi women and size....many hijabi women seem to have to have taken this rebellion against mindless devotion to appearance to such a level that many of them think excercise and keeping fit is just....well beneath them...and so that's why guys tend to ask: why does it seem like most middle aged hijabi women are well...very unhealthily large? i mean there has to be a balance -- islam is about balance. women just like men should be concerned about weight and obesity, but unlike the message from popular culture -- they shouldn't be obsessed with such issues....i mean forget the relation to appearance....keeping fit/taking care of yourself is according to many a religious obligation.... i should now hand out spears to all the sisters who now want to kill me..... |
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| jaihoon |
| 05/12/03 at 11:57:17 |
| [quote author=mr-bean link=board=sis;num=1052513077;start=0#14 date=05/12/03 at 09:40:15] [slm] i should now hand out spears to all the sisters who now want to kill me..... [/quote] :D wow! what an advance 'disclaimer' ;D |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Nomi |
| 05/12/03 at 12:01:03 |
| okay.. before any ladies start spanking him with a broom or something, let me try and do something that might save him from the fury :) well both the hubbi and the wify should try to stay in shape [quote] keeping fit/taking care of yourself is according to many a religious obligation.... [/quote] i quite agree with that [quote] lots of us guys have found a correlation between hijabi women and size....many hijabi women seem to have to have taken this rebellion against mindless devotion to appearance to such a level that many of them think excercise and keeping fit is just....well beneath them [/quote] not a healthy comment, i think to label only hijabi/niqaabi sisters like that is not a good idea as those who dont observe hijaab (may Allah help them do it) can also gain extra weight and they do. But why talk about ladies only as there are many many heavy weight men out there as well, i've got a really nice friend and he is way too handsome but is kinda crazy for food too, only thing thats saving him from being fat is that he works out. He says that he'd become real fat after his marriage, well i wont let him :) coz i'm of the opinion that both (man and wife) should beautify/stay in shape, for their life partner and obviously for health reasons.. The reason why i made a mention of my friend is that i wanted to show mr-bean an example where a man is waiting to gain all the weight in the world after getting married :) bottomline is that both the hubbi and the wify should try to stay in shape Asim Zafar |
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| WhatDFish |
| 05/12/03 at 12:17:08 |
| [quote]i should now hand out spears to all the sisters who now want to kill me..... [/quote] oh brotha! bad move ur own ur own mate, lol :D |
| 05/12/03 at 12:24:30 |
| WhatDFish |
| Mr Bean is fried Beans. |
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| Maliha |
| 05/12/03 at 12:26:57 |
| [slm] First lemme get this outta the way...Mr Bean you are the newest member on the Blacklist >:( (hey and don't go asking who gave me authority to do that 8) ) Second, hijabis tend to be FAT? What? I never heard this one before ::) The issue of weight gain after marriage as your kind brother pointed out, is something *both* men and women have to deal with. Also working out is the perorgative of everyone, for health reasons, *not* superficial beauty reasons. Finally, its mostly a cultural issue about women not really wanting to work out...back home people are still in the dark ages as far as fitness is concerned. So, deal with it. Sis, ILoveMyBodDon'tTellMeToWorkOutWillDoITOnMyOwnTimeAndWhim, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
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| moonie |
| 05/12/03 at 16:54:49 |
| [slm] I belive that if women want to loose weight they may do so but if they are threntend by there husbands then that crap |
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| Anonymous |
| 05/12/03 at 22:40:36 |
| The message I am getting here from the sisters is that, shame on the Saudi men for wanting their wives to look beautiful? Are the sisters saying that once they get married they should let their bodies go (as is so common in Pakistani/Indian communities) and do nothing? Let's be honest here, why would the brothers be interested in them? What's wrong with what Jaihoon said about pleasing the husband, it makes sense. salaams, concerned brother |
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| Maliha |
| 05/12/03 at 23:07:22 |
| [slm] Dear bro anon, No one is saying sisters :-) shouldn't look beautiful :-* for their hubbys ;-) *but* women should be counselled on the importance of keeping fit, and being healthy, and focusing on the inner beauty, that will naturally glow and make her all the more endearing to all those around her especially her hubby. So everything she does will be originating from her pure intentions of wanting to please Allah through her spirituality and look pleasing to her husband, as well as be healthy, energetic, etc. Its quite another thing... When she is *forced* into the gym, becuz her man is LUSTING after someone else >:( or she is trying to compete with a phantom of an illusive beauty that is air brushed, made up, and grotesquely disfigured to resemble anything but a normal woman...so she can get her hubby's eyes on her... :( It's pretty sad aint it? In a world of dying morality, this has got to take the trophy for it. Anyhow, its all based on intentions, health and wholeness, and it should emanate from both the spouses to create healthy, loving, spiritually whole families :-* Aint that soo much better? ;) Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
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| gift |
| 05/13/03 at 06:22:46 |
| [quote author=Nomi link=board=sis;num=1052513077;start=15#16 date=05/12/03 at 12:01:03]i've got a really nice friend and he is way too handsome but is kinda crazy for food too, only thing thats saving him from being fat is that he works out. He says that he'd become real fat after his marriage, [/quote] uggh :P, i've seen and heard of sooo many bros who work out and keep in shape etc, but once they've snagged wifey, they let themselves go :P i wonder how their wives feel? |
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| Al-Basha |
| 05/13/03 at 19:37:14 |
| [slm] That article is definetly wack. ::) Then again many things in Saudi Arabia are so ... My take is if the person is excercising to become a slave to the eyes of others then they lead a very sad life indeed. Bro's: What happens when your wife gets pregnant and has the baby? Are you going to "lust" after other women just because her shape changes? That article mentions one sister who dyed her hair like "Shakira". How sad and demented, by doing that she only confirms and encourages her husband's ideas in looking at other women in that manner. We need to stop being the fish who are always going to get caught by the hook of status quo and eaten by a gluttonous society. Fear Allah and become the free swimming fish ... [wlm] |
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| jannah |
| 05/13/03 at 23:45:03 |
| [wlm] I agree with Al Basha... I think it's good to look nice for your spouse, but this is a little extremish... telling her to lose weight or look like shakira!! i hope husbands don't do that in real life.. i wonder how they would like it if their wife said he needed to lose weight and work out to look just like kazem or someone!! whatever happened to loving someone for who they are? and their beautiful character/personality/soul ??? |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/14/03 at 05:35:22 |
| who's kazem? and who is shakirah? yeah....i live on another planet.... |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 05/14/03 at 13:06:55 |
| [slm] The worst calamity that the Saudi people have been inflicted with by Aal-Sa'ud (their leaders) is the introduction of satellite dish! May Allah (awj) help the scholars and the activists there who are striving really hard every day to battle against the evil effects of this fitnah upon the common masses. Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah |
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| Rameeza |
| 05/14/03 at 13:31:44 |
| [slm] So can a sister expect her husband to look good for her??? Is it his obligation to his spouse??? I mean, I see so many pot bellied brothers... ::)Some rather over weight and physically unkept men have some beautiful wives whom they acquired due to their social standing or afluence. >:(How does this work out for the sisters..? Yet, I have to agree that we should encourage our mothers and aunts to excercise for health reasons and our peace of mind. Yet, I have to say 'most' of our mothers and aunts and not just hijab wearing women. Since I know of many hijab wearing women, including myself, who put in a lot of time for fitess. |
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| BroHanif |
| 05/14/03 at 18:59:58 |
| Salaams [quote]The worst calamity that the Saudi people have been inflicted with by Aal-Sa'ud (their leaders) is the introduction of satellite dish! May Allah (awj) help the scholars and the activists there who are striving really hard every day to battle against the evil effects of this fitnah upon the common masses. [/quote] Do people need to be told to eat and drink ?. As technology progresses man will be faced by the satelite dish, internet, 3G phones and a whole host of future communications techonology. What are we to do ? Ban them all ???. Just today I heard in a Muslim school that they banned the internet since it will lead to ssiters talking to others via Internet Chat. What a load of *******. How are we going to progress in the world if this is our vision ?. Really, why do we Muslims only look at the surface of the problem. Lets get real and look at the root of the problem that is happening in our homes, community and our lands. Salaams Hanif |
| NS |
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| Ameeraana |
| 05/14/03 at 19:04:19 |
| [slm] [quote]So can a sister expect her husband to look good for her Is it his obligation to his spouse I mean, I see so many pot bellied brothers... Some rather over weight and physically unkept men have some beautiful wives whom they acquired due to their social standing or afluence. How does this work out for the sisters..? [/quote] This is the "norm" in the western world. It is not something only Muslims experience. So now that more and more Muslims are getting more influenced by the west and accepting the practices their influences will affect us... Don't be surprised down the road when you start seeing and hearing stories of young Muslim girls becoming anorexic and/or bulemic because we women have to start pleasing the men by our sexuality. It will happen if it is allowed to progress that we who cover in hijab and wear jilbaab/abaya or even just conservative clothes will one day be called the "extremists" and "old-fashioned" and that we need to "get with the real world" and "be a modern Muslim woman who can wear what she pleases and be "free"!!! "--in fact, don't you see stuff like this already happening? So what? Is it acceptable that we who are being pious and covering for Allah and so that only our husbands and mahrams can see us have to look up to non-pious women as role-models? And is it acceptable that our Muslim brothers are not lowering their gaze but rather "lusting" after these women whether by themselves, and in front of their wives? Ok, ok, yes, we women should get fit and healthy and be the most beautiful we can be--we do have to take care of ourselves. Just because you have children and are at home much of the time is no excuse to let yourself go. But it should be a reasonable and attainable goal. Not some media-hyped imitation!! Ameera |
| 05/14/03 at 20:22:23 |
| Ameeraana |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Nomi |
| 05/14/03 at 21:13:35 |
| [quote] It will happen if it is allowed to progress that we who cover in hijab and wear jilbaab/abaya or even just conservative clothes will one day be called the "extremists" and "old-fashioned" [/quote] we do not live in a perfect world, we'll have to live with the ugliness and beauty of it, there will always be men who'll appreciate ladies for their piety, supposedly, there is no such man left on the face of the earth (which will never be the case as long as pious ladies are there) who appreciates piety, even then one should lift one's self up and be strong no matter what. There are and there will always be men who appreciate piety A brother in islaam |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 05/15/03 at 01:36:13 |
| [slm] Br. Hanif, it's interesting that you conveyed the same point I was trying to convey, but in different way: Look to the root of the problem, not the surface of it. A man telling his wife to lose some weight to look like Shakira or the Palestinian newscasters is the surface of the problem. The root of it is something else. I agree with you that the inner states of the people need to be corrected. The root of the problem in our ummah is a serious lack of true ilm, imaan and taqwaa. However, we cannot belittle the effects of outer influences over the inner state of a human being. Both the inner state and the outer influences are things that have to be dealt with. We cannot say one is the real problem, whereas the other is simply the surface of it. If a person's stomach is experiencing digestive ailments, what is necessary is to do two things: 1. Provide medicine for the stomach to heal it properly and quickly. 2. Stay away from all food which may cause further harm to the already sick stomach. If either one is left out from the equation, the person will continue to get worse. And thus is the case for those with diseased hearts. A person inclined towards shahawaat [passions] has to stay *away* from those things that feed his shahawaat, to prevent the illness from becoming worse. At the same time, he/she must work hard to suppress the shahawaat by self-purification. Both are important. Please do not misunderstand what I mean when I use the term "dish." We all know, of course, that the satellite in and of itself is not something bad. It is its use which makes it good or bad. In a land such as Saudi Arabia, where the norm on the streets is hayaa and separation between the sexes, allowing such MTV-like programs to be shown on tv is extremely detrimental for the masses, most of whom (like *any* other place in the world) have diseased hearts which need a lot of help. The dish in Saudi Arabia, just like the dish in Pakistan, contains very little good if any. And this is not an exaggeration. The dish programs include Lebanese shows, most of which are produced by Christians and thus things are not much different from MTV except for the fact that the people that are performing are Arab (i.e. people of their own race) which feeds the shahwah even more strongly. It is clear that the dish has had a detrimental effect on the Saudi masses. Ask the elder Saudi men and women about the recent trends among their people, and they will tell you the attitude of the people in the malls and on the streets is deteriorating drastically as time progresses. Things are very different than what they used to be 10 years ago where one rarely saw the face of a woman. Many women today intentionally dress provocatively in the markets, showing a great bit of their dyed hair over their foreheads, with make-up painted all over their face. If you ask the brothers when this trend began to appear, they will invariably tell you that it was after the dish was introduced in the country. I can go on and give more examples, but there is no time, and insha Allah this is sufficient. Both the inner and outer problems have to be dealt with. But perhaps what is easier for a weak person to deal with first is the outer problem, and then the inner one. A simple example of this is what Imam Ghazali says about a person who is distracted in his prayer. There are two kinds of things that distract a person from his salaah. One is the inner discourses of the person. The other is the outer distractions - what he can sense with his 5 senses while he's praying. Imam Ghazali tells the reader to first remove all the outer distractions, and then struggle to fight the inner ones. Finally, I hope it is understood that when we talk about Muslims who are weak in their imaan, or have diseases in their hearts, we are not directing blame to any one group of Muslims. These are problems that are afflicting our entire ummah today, including all groups and nations. The problems are just manifested in different ways among different groups of people. But the fact remains that all of us, even on this board, are afflicted with shahawaat and we choose, more frequently than not, to *keep* ourselves in situations where the shahawaat are only fed further instead of removing ourselves from those situations. And I hope I don't have to give examples of this, insha Allah. May Allah (awj), the Turner of hearts, make our hearts firm on His Deen and His obedience. May He (swt) purify our hearts and our senses. May He (swt) help us use our senses in performing only that which is pleasing to Him, and protect them from experiencing anything that displeases Him. Him do we worship, and from Him alone do we seek help. Allahu musta3aan. Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. |
| Re: Losing weight to (re)gain hubby's sight |
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| Rameeza |
| 05/16/03 at 12:14:11 |
| [slm] My dear sister Ameera. I agree with you but how about the men's obligations??? I am curiouse about that? |
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