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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| What questions will you ask? |
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| Kathy |
| 05/12/03 at 10:06:04 |
| [slm] A spin off from a topic in the Akwhat... about questions Muslimahs want to ask potential hubbys... [quote]So now we (brothers) know what questions we will be asked but you (sisters) don't know what questions we will ask! [/quote] tell us! |
| 05/12/03 at 10:07:26 |
| Kathy |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| SisNur |
| 05/12/03 at 10:11:57 |
| [slm] [quote]tell us![/quote] Yes. Pls do. Would really love to know what kind of questions you ;-)s would ask ;) Wassalam |
| 05/12/03 at 10:12:34 |
| SisNur |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| sabri |
| 05/12/03 at 10:28:45 |
| [slm] Here are some of mine : Apart from the questions on ibadah ... How do you treat your parents? siblings (if any)? Would you want to work after you were married? Would having children influence your decision on the above? Do you consider yourself materialistic? How do you interact with men? InshaAllah I'll let you know when I think of some more. [wlm] |
| 05/12/03 at 12:55:29 |
| sabri |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| ltcorpest2 |
| 05/12/03 at 16:50:35 |
| do you like sports and do you go camping? I think camping is one of the keys to finding about your potential spouse. You can tell right away, Is the person a servant or a person who is a team player or who needs to be served. Can they survive with no hot water and no curling iron. After the meal is served are they the ones who strike up a deep conversation with someone or are they one who volunteer to help with the cleanup. I think you can answer about 100 important questions with one camping trip. |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/12/03 at 16:55:53 |
| [slm] [center] :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ [/center] Thats quite an interesting perspective...hmm but It would be hard to take him seriously.... I might actually think he 'has gone mad' as the English say :) [quote]do you like sports and do you go camping? I think camping is one of the keys to finding about your potential spouse. You can tell right away, Is the person a servant or a person who is a team player or who needs to be served. Can they survive with no hot water and no curling iron. After the meal is served are they the ones who strike up a deep conversation with someone or are they one who volunteer to help with the cleanup. I think you can answer about 100 important questions with one camping trip. [/quote] |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/12/03 at 17:07:55 |
| [slm] hmm nahh well I thought about it and decided that if he ask hundred ques to do with camping it will make me think hes a fun type of person :-* I will try not think hes gone 'mad' good ques bro sabri... |
| 05/13/03 at 21:33:10 |
| a_Silver_Rose |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| sabri |
| 05/12/03 at 17:19:22 |
| [slm] Here's more : I'm not sure whether I should ask this one : How would you feel about "sharing" your husband? (not that I'm considering polygamy. I think just one would be a handful!) How do you feel about obedience to one's husband? [wlm] |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/12/03 at 17:27:47 |
| [slm] [quote] Here's more : I'm not sure whether I should ask this one : How would you feel about "sharing" your husband? (not that I'm considering polygamy. I think just one would be a handful!) How do you feel about obedience to one's husband? [/quote] Mash'Allah I think those are very important questions and will give you more info and an idea on how the person is like and what she wants , insh'Allah How the person takes these questions is important too because then you have an idea of how much patience the person has and/or how understanding he or she is. |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| BroHanif |
| 05/12/03 at 20:44:26 |
| The questions Will you live with MY parents in one house ? Are you prepared to give it all you got for our marrige ? Tell me how ? Would yo be willing to adopt if we can't have kids ? Your willing to stay at home right to look after kids ? How will you look after our kids ? How many do you think is a good idea for kids ? 1 or 5 ? Do you do dawah work ? Describe your close friends ? Who inspires you ? Britney or the prophets [saw] foster sister, (more marks if she gets the name right) How much Quran do you know ? You been married before ? If not then how come a good sister like you is not married ? (this isn't a chat up line!) What do you want to acheive in life, career, family, dawah etc, etc Are you comfortable as a ninja or just with a headscarf ? Would you be willing to cover yourself fully given time ? Salaams Hanif |
| NS |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| superFOB |
| 05/12/03 at 22:09:58 |
| [slm] What's a ninja? |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| lala |
| 05/12/03 at 22:12:38 |
| ninja? que? |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Emerald |
| 05/12/03 at 23:16:49 |
| Ninja :-[ I believe he means the niqaab. (Covering the face). |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Barr |
| 05/13/03 at 06:42:29 |
| [slm] I'm posting this for a friend who saw this thread and wrote me an e-mail coz she prefers anonymity. Wassalam :::Barrella::: ==================================================== Questions that my husband asked me before marriage :- 1) Can your mom live with us? (My mom's disabled. Knowing how much I love her, this was one of his main priorities.) 2) Can you deal with the possibility of my being disabled? (If the doctors were right about his health, it might deteriorate, and he could be dependent. ) 3) Can you deal with having me and your mom, both disabled, and also having kids ? And would you still want to foster/adopt another child, with each child we will have, as we had already planned, IF I became further disabled? Do you still want to continue with this plan KNOWING I might become further disabled? 4) Can you survive without me if I were no longer here (died)? 5) Can you love my daughters (From a past marriage...)? 6) [quote]You been married before ? If not then how come a good sister like you is not married ? (this isn't a chat up line!) [/quote] Bro Hanif, he asked me this too! :) - He would also ask: "Why me?" - And I always said: "You can't marry for certain reasons. What if you marry for love,wealth, physical outlook or mind/intelect and one day those reasons are no longer there? Will the marriage collapse and the love and respect we have for our spouses be gone? I don't have any particular reasons. I couldn't even came up with a reason." - My answer to all his questions was... I do not have the answers to all the questions. I'll leave everything to Allah(SWT). WE GOT MARRIED ANYWAYS! :P ===================================================== DISCLAIMER: Her answers and choices may be due to her experiences and traumas growing up with a disabled single mother and as an only child, which neither validates nor disproves those answers. I, Barr, am just a messenger. All and/or any part thereof of the post above is not my opinion, and is not related to me, dead or alive. |
| 05/13/03 at 07:10:15 |
| Barr |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| readagain |
| 05/13/03 at 15:44:37 |
| [slm] I was asked (among other tons of questions) What would you do when we'll have guests over? and i was like huh? whaaa??? ::)....n i guess i said something like .."i dont know give them food :-[" :-X i thought he was crazy..but later on he emailed me and apologized saying he was just nervous (lYeahhhh ol cos im too damn gorgeous ;)) ;D astaghfirullah |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/13/03 at 17:10:56 |
| [slm]... Uncle Hanif please answer any one of these Q?s... Are you my twin ?? Am i yours ?? :) :) you just read my mind there, in all your Q?s specially these [quote] 1- Are you comfortable as a ninja or just with a headscarf ? Would you be willing to cover yourself fully given time ? 2- Will you live with MY parents in one house ? 3- Describe your close friends [/quote] my would be, would be a ninja but i dont really like the word so replace it with a niqaabi :) Tell you what, i dont need to ask all these Q?s coz that "bridge" already got crossed :) :) May Allah help us all, ameen Asim Zafar |
| 05/13/03 at 17:15:49 |
| Nomi |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| strivinsista_1 |
| 05/13/03 at 21:19:11 |
| hmmm all i care for my hubby is to have a beard and teach me GOOD ISLAMIC KNOWLEDGE i feel like yellin for no reason :$ i better get out b4 i do |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| strivinsista_1 |
| 05/13/03 at 22:08:23 |
| Housing Understanding Supportive Being compassionate to wifes nature And Never Demanding hope this works :$ never tried bold fonts n etc |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/14/03 at 05:23:10 |
| [slm] can i ask an off the topic question? why would any boy want his wife to wear a niqab in the west? i mean women here wear like.....very little...and a head scarf wearing woman is unlikely to be a focus of attraction when there are women walking around in miniskirts and much worse? However, in contrast to scarf wearers, niqabis are *much* more likely to attract attention and focused stares.....i mean like the other day a guy and his niqabi wife walked into a disney store (i was inside)....and the security guard and others were staring at the niqabi...and after they left...people laughed a smirky kind of laugh.... Niqabis in the west seem to cause people to think (and being an idiot, sometimes similar thoughts run through my mind) (1) her husband is probably a wife beater (2) the husband is a joke -- he's in tight jeans, she's in a walking tent. (3) why? what's the point -- the husband has got some real jealousy issues. Now, this is in constrast to scarf wearers -- who evoke emotions of deep respect from most people. I remember one brother said they look like angels. Now if you live in like Pakistan or similar places I can imagine why niqab would be useful/advisable because it makes women anonymous, and makes them feel more safe in a land where security is a major issue....but in America? In England?? I mean if you believe that Islam decrees (like if you are salafi) niqabs -- and follow it purely from an ideological point of view -- i can understand. But otherwise? If you accept that the headscarf is acceptable islamic clothing -- why in the world would you want your wife to wear a veil?? I mean brothers wanting this should try it out themselves for a week and see how it feels and how comfortable it is....! If women want to wear it by their own accord that's completely fine. But if guys want to make their wives wear it -- in my mind this is just another case of guys of oppressing women -- because i'm pretty sure if the roles were reversed and they were females -- i don't think most of them would be too keen on wearing a niqab (let alone a hijab)... after all in islam we believe "....none of you truly believes until he/she wishes for his brother/sister what he/she wishes for himself/herself...." just my useless two cents..... |
| 05/14/03 at 05:24:28 |
| mr-bean |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/14/03 at 09:35:17 |
| [slm] [quote] If women want to wear it by their own accord that's completely fine. But if guys want to make their wives wear it -- in my mind this is just another case of guys of oppressing women -- [/quote] No sir thats not me, i think strivinsist... really got me wrong there, let me clear one thing first, i live in Pakistan and my "would be" observes it by choice, imposing something is never a solution... btw what made you think that Uncle Hanif and/or myself were going to impose it ??? [quote] why in the world would you want your wife to wear a veil?? I mean brothers wanting this should try it out themselves for a week [/quote] this one was really funny, its like someone asking a lady to grow a beard and find out that how tough it is to keep one these days :) ... i mean c'mon !!! [quote] Now, this is in constrast to scarf wearers -- who evoke emotions of deep respect from most people. I remember one brother said they look like angels. [/quote] are u sure? how can you generalize? havn't you been through the racial slurs thread?.. here is the link http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=madrasa;action=display;num=1050634139 ladies with "hijaabs" get laughed and stared at, quite often too... and there is an ayah of the Nobel Qur'an that says that there are these non-muslims who would never be happy with you (muslims) unless u leave your faith and join their's... does anyone know the ayah number ? so please do not demean those who observe niqaab in the west, u might want to vist the who said what to whom thread if you havn't already.. here is the link http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=madrasa;action=display;num=1052497990 [quote] I mean if you believe that Islam decrees (like if you are salafi) niqabs [/quote] i'm not a salafi (whats a salafi?), i'm just a sunni muslim (hanfi), i learnt that there is "ijtehaad" on the fact that ladies should observe "niqaab" but then i found out that there is another "ijtehaad" according to which ladies should only observe "hijaab", so we should respect both the "hijaabis" and the "niqaabis" [quote] and after they left...people laughed a smirky kind of laugh.... [/quote] and what would you suggest for men living in the west, i mean what should be the length of their beards? 3c.m!!! coz people would really laugh at a 3-4 inch long beard, wont they? bottom line is, yes, things should never be imposed and we should respect what others believe in (do not demean niqaabis of the west, plz) Asim Zafar (Pakistani !) [i]I foresee another thread going in unintended direction, where are your questions guys :) [/i] |
| 05/14/03 at 13:53:39 |
| Nomi |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/14/03 at 11:05:43 |
| [slm] as you know a beard is wajib for hanafis -- niqab is very much not.... you cannot equate beards with niqab. there is very little controversy about the desirability of a beard. but there is a great deal of controversy about the need for niqab. in fact, i think that the vast majority of scholars say that hijab is sufficient. sometimes even brothers get into a competition about how pious their wives are "oh mine wears niqab....oh but mine wears gloves and niqab...." ! if a sister wants to wear niqab -- all power to her. but people in general should not judge sisters by how much extra they cover. islam is about balance. wearing niqab is practical perhaps only for housewives who go out every now and then. but for working women? for women doctors? for women who are out and about? i mean some sort of common sense has to be applied. i have seen in the subcontinent how incredibly eager men are to clothe and overclothe women in an effort to prevent fitnah -- i.e. in an effort to prevent flirting, lascivious stares, glances, and to nip budding affairs at their birth.... well...i have found that these things are part of life. they happen even to niqabi sisters. in fact if you go to saudia arabia you may notice how men stare at niqabi sisters. they notice their shapes and their feet, and whether they are wearing high heels, etc..... the fact is flirting, pre-marital relationships, extra-marital relationships happen...you can only do so much to prevent them....and just by over-clothing women you cannot prevent such relationships entirely. what you can do is ask women to dress modestly so the first thing guys notice about her is not her body but rather what she says (her personality)...etc. This then protects women because guys ideally tend to be attracted to women not because of their bodies and looks but only because of their personalities. i mean in reality people are fighting a completely losing battle when they try to overclothe women.....affairs happen, they just do for all sorts of often unfathomable reasons. and often when they happen they happen for much more fundamental and structural reasons like "...my husband is a jerk..." rather than because a woman doesn't cover her face or similar things......so all you can do is try your best to prevent such illicit affairs by using some reasonable means (hijab). niqabs are not going to stop it, and it is usually fruitless to try in most occasions (in secure environments). niqabs have a place where a woman wants to be anonymous or for example the following situation: a brother goes to see a sister for getting married. the sister is accompanied by her wali and perhaps her sister or female friends or female relatives....then it would be advisable for the sisters and younger female relatives to observe niqab, as they might attract attention which they should not.....i mean how many times have you heard of stories where a guy went to see a girl...and liked her sister instead? lastly: and the most important question -- why would you want your wife to wear niqab? As one brother said, he found two hanafi opinions for and against niqab. Why choose the more difficult one? What is one trying to prove? Choosing a more difficult fatwa, just because it is more conservative, or difficult to follow doesn't make you more God-fearing, or a better muslim.....after all islam is about using your brain in the practice of religion...following what you understand to be right....otherwise all of us could just as well have been say Christians and have had no problems with it....whereas in reality it causes us problems because it doesn't make sense to us.....that's why we are muslims instead [color=Blue] so...could the brothers please try their best to explain to this sorry and hopeless fool of a brother why they would want their wives to wear niqab? i don't understand it and it would be helpful to understand why others think i am wrong..... [/color] |
| 05/14/03 at 11:15:09 |
| mr-bean |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| jannah |
| 05/14/03 at 13:28:38 |
| [slm] Hmmm... This is a good discussion as long as we leave arguing the fiqh over it.. bro mr bean i think that many people think of niqab&gloves&allblack as the topmost level of piety you can get to... like hijab with normal clothes/skirts etc is one level, than jilbab&scarf is the next level, then niqab the next, and etc. i have BIG issues with that paradigm but i know many many people think of it like that. (let me just say that there are many sincere wearers of niqab of their own choice and of their own reasons, here and other places including members of my family) but i'm sorry i just don't see hijab-->jilbab--> niqab as the ladder to success. what's even odder to me is the phenomenon of inner city non muslim women marrying muslim men and then wearing niqab w/gloves?! |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/14/03 at 13:37:13 |
| [quote] As one brother said, he found two hanafi opinions for and against niqab. Why choose the more difficult one? [/quote] not the different ijtehaads for hanafi!! the hanafi one is the one that asks sisters to observe niqaab.. [quote] i have seen in the subcontinent how incredibly eager men are to clothe and overclothe women [/quote] i am saying it repeatedly that NO ONE in here is enforcing or imposing anything, i very much believe that its sisters who should decide that what they feel easy with, why are you twisting it !!! [quote] the fact is flirting, pre-marital relationships, extra-marital relationships happen...you can only do so much to prevent them....and just by over-clothing women you cannot prevent such relationships entirely [/quote] now even hijaab can not prevent all that, right? so what are you gonna ask us next !! stop observing hijaab too? (Allah Forbid) so bro mr-bean we are required to do our part, i as a male should lower my gaze, them as sisters should cover up, be it hijaab or niqaab [quote] i mean in reality people are fighting a completely losing battle when they try to overclothe women [/quote] For how many years did Prophet Nuh (as) fought a losing battle? (Allah Forbid) 950? ... (its not a "losing battle" my friend) ... so as i said, we are required to do our part and if men still gaze at them then those men will be held accountable for that on the judgementday. [quote] so...could the brothers please try their best to explain to this sorry and hopeless fool of a brother... [/quote] My brother (mayraay dost, mayraay bhai :) ) this is not the right way to talk, why are u getting hyper? and i think this is why u r black listed here :P (no offence). We all should respect each others point of view, i think what troubles u is that many guys impose things on women, well that is quite true but NO ONE in here is enforcing anything e.g. if my fiancee observes niqaab with choice then why would n e one be bothered about it !! Asim Zafar [i]PS: and where is uncle hanif when u need him :)[/i] |
| 05/14/03 at 13:46:55 |
| Nomi |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| strivinsista_1 |
| 05/14/03 at 14:14:43 |
| [slm] me got u wrong there??? wait hmmmm i think i forgot to mention " I LIKE guys with beards so i think i should get a husband with a beard" and i myself insha'allah would like to wear a niqab i used to but i stopped and i regret it so insha'allah after high school [wlm] |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/14/03 at 15:06:53 |
| [wlm] and [slm] strivinsista_1 wrote: [quote] I LIKE guys with beards so i think i should get a husband with a beard" and i myself insha'allah would like to wear a niqab [/quote] thanks for the clarity sister ... i was beginning to feel like a black sheep ... heh :) ... just kiddin... and may Allah help you achieve what you are looking forward to, ameen |
| 05/14/03 at 15:13:50 |
| Nomi |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/14/03 at 15:28:09 |
| [slm] I just want to say that there are many woman who believe that full niqab is required and thats why they do it. We have to realize that there is a difference of opinion on this. Some people think we only have to do hijab and others niqab. So lets respect their beliefs. If someone wants to cover up even more than Alhumdulilah! And dont forget the wives of the prophet wore niqab. One time after a gathering a brother was saying (after he saw a picutre of a woman in niqab in the masjid) that 'this is the reason why people think muslim woman are oppressed.' Well let me tell you something. The people who think 'muslim woman are oppressed' it will make no difference to them whether its niqab or hijab. These people think the simple scarf is oppression. And who are we covering for? the people or Allah (swt)? who should we fear? [color=Red]A must read for all: The Niqaab in light of the Holy Quran and Sahih Hadith and in the Opinions of the great scholars.... http://members.tripod.com/ibnfarooq/niqaab.htm Clearly the Niqaab (Face Veil) (is From the Practice of the Female Companions and Not Simply Arabian Culture) http://www.themuslimwoman.com/HerDress/ClearlyNiqaab.htm [/color] |
| 05/14/03 at 19:33:01 |
| a_Silver_Rose |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| lala |
| 05/14/03 at 17:08:49 |
| [slm] folks, I guess the point on this topic is: 1. who decides what you wear? - husband -yourself 2. is niqab required for all muslim women? - we see the differences of opinion on this board and in fiqh Now where do we stand? There will be differences of opinion irregardless . Its a personal decision to wear anything or to dress however. Muslim or not. We are all entitled to our opinions, even if we think niqab is not necessary or rather 'over the top' in urban or semi metropoliptic (prob not a word) environments. For that we must place hijab and niqab in our hearts. It doesnt have to outwardly show in clothing..but concepts such as piety, concealment and modesty as well as lowering our gaze etc must be a part of our conscious. Its a shame that we must wear all this clothes anyhow :-[..but because of our 'nature' we must etc..etc..etc. peace ??? |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| BroHanif |
| 05/14/03 at 20:00:54 |
| Salaams, This post has slightly gone a bit awol, yet I found this a tad upsetting. [quote](1) her husband is probably a wife beater (2) the husband is a joke -- he's in tight jeans, she's in a walking tent. (3) why? what's the point -- the husband has got some real jealousy issues. [/quote] I find it amazing that as a Muslim your thinking resorts to such a level. The first point is deeply offensive, for a start wife beating is sick, horrible and above all twisted. My dad is not a wife beater, my brother in law is not a wife beater and surely my other friends are not wife beaters. What is your answer to a sister who's not married but wearing the full veil or niqab is her dad or mother abusing the daughter, Astagfirullah!. Your second point her husband is a joke -- he's in tight jeans and she's walking in a tent. The winds of hidayat are not in any mans hands, only in Allah's. If Allah bestows the sister to wear a hijaab then so be it, is there something wrong with this ?. I myself have seen clean shaven guys in Levis yet their wives are covered from head to toe, and no they are not wife beaters or clowns at the local circus the wives decide that they want to wear the hijaab for Allah. The remark about a tent, again offensive to sisters worldwide. What do you think the hijaab should be something tight, that shows the woman's body curves and features the very thing that she should conceal ?. The hijaab should be flowing, also for the men when they wear their garments, they should be flowing as well and not tight or restrictive. The last point, they do it for Allah and what's jealousy got to do with it ? Please read the first Hadith of Bukahri and then come back to the board. You really should get out a lot more and talk to couples who wear the niqab, understand them and ease your fears. Wearing it is not easy yet who said the path to Jannah was easy ?. Its not the case of just wearing it in Saudi but other places as well. In fact its easy in Saudi (Macca and Medina) as the local populace adheres to it. But wear in the Western hemisphere, that is where the real test is. Where sisters get spat in the face, looked upon and some Muslims even sadly ridicule them. After speaking to many couples, the reason many sisters wear it is for strictly Allah. I know many Muslimas who after hearing the modesty of Hazrat Fatimah R.A. (May Allah be pleased with her) also decided to adopt the full veil. It is said of Hazrat Fatimah that no man had ever seen her body (apart from her the legal ones allowed) after the verse of the hijaab was revealed. And even in her death she wanted to be concealed and not have a fuss over her funeral. Isn't it true If you really love someone then you will follow in their ways, Fatimah R.A. was a close daughter to the prophet [saw] and strictly followed in his ways. 1400 years from now Muslimas in this day and age still follow in the footsteps of Hazrat Fatimah R.A. So what is our answer going to be the Muslimas of today ? disregard Fatimah R.A. and follow someone else as a role model. NEVER. Whether the sister is a lawyer, doctor, architect or housewife she should be encouraged to wear the hijaab and if she is comfortable then support her at least in wearing the full veil or niqab. Salaams Hanif |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| lala |
| 05/15/03 at 12:11:47 |
| [slm] Back ON TOPIC.... Umm could I ask a prospective husband person if he knows how to cook? I mean...must women do all the cooking? Plus I'm not that good at it ;-) But I can do the clean up! :-/ Peace |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/15/03 at 17:03:18 |
| [slm] all [quote] Umm could I ask a prospective husband person if he knows how to cook? [/quote] O no u dont.. coz its our turn to ask questions here :) .... just to refresh your memory... here are those questions again [quote] Will you live with MY parents in one house ? Are you prepared to give it all you got for our marrige ? Tell me how ? Would yo be willing to adopt if we can't have kids ? Your willing to stay at home right to look after kids ? How will you look after our kids ? How many do you think is a good idea for kids ? 1 or 5 ? Do you do dawah work ? Describe your close friends ? Who inspires you ? Britney or the prophets [saw] foster sister, (more marks if she gets the name right) How much Quran do you know ? You been married before ? If not then how come a good sister like you is not married ? (this isn't a chat up line!) What do you want to acheive in life, career, family, dawah etc, etc Are you comfortable with a niqaab on, or just with a headscarf ? Would you be willing to cover yourself fully given time ? [/quote] |
| 05/16/03 at 08:45:34 |
| Nomi |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Sunnah |
| 05/15/03 at 22:06:13 |
| [slm] o no! sisters are again taking over our ;-)s' questions! :) come on...we need more questions. and Mr. bean ::) hmm i am very surprise that some muslim ;-) think like this?! obviously all those thoughts were going on ur mind at the disny store! maybe those non-muslim weren't even thinking that...only you are thinking them, or maybe u r non-muslim. i am not sure, r u? r u like trying to play out here? i hope not. [wlm] |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| lala |
| 05/16/03 at 09:49:16 |
| umm at least your back on topic..- talk about going off on your tangents ;-0 so guys..make up your questions! peace, lala |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| ahmeth |
| 05/16/03 at 19:40:32 |
| [slm] I have one question 4 sisters but I dont know, to ask or not. Its tends to undertand me wrong and I could get a nickname between boardmemebers... ;-) (with original bearth) [wlm] |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 05/17/03 at 22:39:07 |
| [slm] go on ask...be a brave Knight... :) We won't bite ya :) [wlm] |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/17/03 at 23:10:04 |
| Assaalmo Alaikum all Sister jannah wrote [quote] but i'm sorry i just don't see hijab-->jilbab--> niqab as the ladder to success. what's even odder to me is the phenomenon of inner city non muslim women marrying muslim men and then wearing niqab w/gloves?! [/quote] I'm more concerned about the second sentence, if we take it literally (the word odd...) then with all due respect sister Jannah, i think that calling it odd in itself is odd !! i mean its their choice.... More and more is the motto in this life as everone likes to live to the best within their means, why not for the hereafter as well and i know sisters (already married, single) who converted and started observing niqaab and that to me is not odd :) a brother in islaam |
| 05/18/03 at 02:07:11 |
| jannah |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| strivinsista_1 |
| 05/18/03 at 00:52:19 |
| bismillah Assalamalaykum us sisters are takein over the brothers' post ? Tell me bout it .... Brother's side is more interesting. we had a Msa meeting (muslim sisters association) we came up with a solution that if we get Guys in msa and change it to muslim STUDENTS association more girls will come. black sheep? whats wrong with haveing bushy beards ? *sleepy* my brother have a maroonish beard ...this other have a blondeish blackish beard subhan'allah the colors ... :$ i no i no i need to lower my gaze ..... i'm wearing a niqab insha'allah after high school and ater moving outta this place cuz my cousins walk in the basement without knockin n i have to hide under the table cuz i don't have my dupata .... and am wearing niqab even if my husband stops me i'm still wearing it future husband: u can't wear niqab tha's too much sorry me: u wanna see me again ?? or u wanna see me in my mom's house *shows attitude* future husband: i wanna see u me: live with it then future husband : errrrrr |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| jannah |
| 05/18/03 at 02:11:48 |
| [wlm] Well I find it odd in the sense that if that is in their opinion the top most rung in the ladder, that people go to that from nothing... it's like someone converting to islam and readingquran/memorizing doing tahajjud every night and going out for jihad, giving all their money to the poor etc... all good things but usually it takes people steps to get there. [quote]live to the best within their means, why not for the hereafter as well [/quote] the fundamental difference is that i don't think it's best.. probably because i take the opinion that niqab is not required so no doubt that influences all thoughts on it... and since scholars disagree on this topic fiqh wise i guess we should all accept our different views inshaAllah... |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/18/03 at 02:20:51 |
| [slm] From what I have read there are only two valid views on niqaab. One is that it is required and the other that it is reccomended. your sis ps Jannah maybe you can split this into another topic? |
| 05/18/03 at 14:54:59 |
| a_Silver_Rose |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| asap |
| 05/18/03 at 05:30:45 |
| [slm] All! I am in bad mood and in Ikhwan Club ::) Interesting, when guys are asked (in virtual world) they end up expecting the most devout and religious nun you can think of. IRL, well it is complex to describe. It goes like this: 1. The (religious) guy likes a lady for her appearance (almost always). 2. Informs her that she'd have to do hijab/niqab etc (whichever was missing ;) ) 3. That she should not object to his taking another wife. The difference: Appearance matters a lot more to (religious) bro IRL. The number 2 and 3 points are there to de-emphasize the first one. :'( So, like how many are real men, I mean married?? Any count/vote/poll ... I am sorry if I was too critical. Well, my apologies bros, u all rock 8) -wa-salam asap |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/18/03 at 22:59:58 |
| [slm] all i hope i'm not beating about the bush but, there are different faces different mentalities, there are people who take time and there are those who go for it flat out. sister jannah wrote [quote] the fundamental difference is that i don't think it's best.. [/quote] erm... doesn't the Qur'an say that the best example for us is in the sunnah (the way of Prophet Muhammad [saw]) !? it sure says that and here is what sister silverose told us about sunnah sister silverose wrote Dated: 05/14/03 at 15:28:09 [quote] And dont forget the wives of the prophet wore niqab. [/quote] sister jannah wrote [quote] and since scholars disagree on this topic fiqh wise i guess we should all accept our different views inshaAllah... [/quote] definitly we should and we must accept our different views, peace :) sister silverose wrote [quote] From what I have read there are only two valid views on niqaab. One is that it is required and the other that it is reccomended. [/quote] same here my sis, i've heard the same strivinsista_1: Go for it sister, dont listen to anyone :) :), may Allah help you in what you are trying to achieve and to me its suuuuperb :) assalamo alaikum all a brother in islaam |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Tesseract |
| 05/19/03 at 12:51:30 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum, Questions that I think ALL brothers should ask :) 1. So, How many tons of make-up do u wear ( ok, maybe not tons, but how many kgs.!!!!!) 2. How much time do u spend (waste?) grooming? 3. How many pairs of sandals/shoes do u have? 4. How many of those do u really wear? 5. How many purses do u have? 6. How many of those do u really use? 7. Why do u have so many extra purses/pairs of shoes? 8. How often do u go for shopping? 9. How much time do u spend in shopping malls each time u go? 10. Would u mind if I kicked u off the bed (just for fun) while changing our cute baby's ( who ofcourse has to look like me to be called cute) diapers at 3 a.m? (Above said Questions are intended solely to have fun) Wassalam. |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/19/03 at 14:10:13 |
| [slm] If you asked lots questions like that....like how many purses and shoes someone had...I suspect you would get handbagged and heavily kicked in the rear for acting like such a cheapskate.....I mean what's the point? Sounds like the guy is on welfare or very paranoid about his wife spending money. Also, the makeup question is really insulting....i mean the girl is wearing it for the prospective guy....i somehow don't think she wears it because of the fun of it (though a few do).....i mean if you go to a girls college --- virtually none of them wear makeup....but when they venture out into the male world many of them do.... More interesting questions would be like How much quran has been memorized since it asks about devotion to serious islamic learning....not just reading pamplets. I used this once......and the sister wasn't too impressed....she said it was too personal a question.... :) What do you think of suicide bombings? The point is to find out whether the person is a fanatic and believes in islam as an identity crutch or takes it as a beautiful way of life. Those using it as a identity crutch will agree to basically doing anything... bombing/maiming etc to the enemy if it furthers their cause. Whereas those believing otherwise would say that such things are unbecoming of the beautiful religion of Islam and that the Prophet would never have sanctioned them. ....I used this question once and was subsequently rejected :). Explain the meaning of life. As I don''t understand the meaning of life beyond the verse "worshipping Allah," it would be nice if someone could give me a fuller explanation. I mean some angels spend their whole time in prostration -- i.e. in literal physical worship. We are not angels, so presumably worship has a much fuller meaning for humans.. This is perhaps one of the later questions to ask....and since I have yet to get past first base (in an islamic sense)....i have yet to use it....:) these are kind of detached...spaced out...type questions...i'm sure that lots of the more practical guys can give some more nitty gritty type questions..... I mean for most guys...questions aren't that important. They can pretty much make up their mind by figuring out how the sister looks, what her educational background i (for compatibility reasons), what kind of family she comes from (will mum and dad say ok?), is she religious (meaning she won't dump you after 2 hours), and whether she has a preference on being a career woman or a mommy woman (guys wanting lots of kids don't want career women. For example my friend who wants 26 kids ain't gonna marry a career woman :o :D) I mean the personality thing is much more important for girls....because in reality guys have more (real) power over girls....in a marriage. Never married guys tend to concentrate on looks and religiousness and smarts.. For example, my sister says I represent the "... worst excesses of male objectification of the female...." But, sometimes for us guys personality can really be important....and i once asked a sister without even knowing how she looks and who had the "wrong" ethnicity (according to my parents) because she had an incredibly cool personality. So everything is not black and white....even for superficial idiots like myself and my friends....sometimes personality dominates everything and looks are irrelevent because of other overwhelming qualities....and other times it comes down to looks and family compatibility and other standard stuff..... Since i have probably said too much for my own good....i should stop here.... But yeah...i know what you sis are thinking.....us guys are such a sad species.....well not everybody....there are plenty of guys for whom the superficial stuff is completely irrelevent and all they want is a loyal and religious wife. I know lots of people like that.....now if only i was a more successful matchmaker....that might lead somewhere....(I have been successful only once at playing the matchmaker game....:) ) |
| 05/19/03 at 15:41:36 |
| mr-bean |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| ltcorpest2 |
| 05/19/03 at 19:57:15 |
| Posted by: mr-bean Posted on: Today at 2:10pm If you asked lots questions like that....like how many purses and shoes someone had...I suspect you would get handbagged and heavily kicked in the rear for acting like such a cheapskate.....I mean what's the point? Sounds like the guy is on welfare or very paranoid about his wife spending money. Also, the makeup question is really insulting....i mean the girl is wearing it for the prospective guy....i somehow don't think she wears it because of the fun of it (though a few do).....i mean if you go to a girls college --- virtually none of them wear makeup....but when they venture out into the male world many of them do.... More interesting questions would be like How much quran has been memorized since it asks about devotion to serious islamic learning....not just reading pamplets. I used this once......and the sister wasn't too impressed....she said it was too personal a question.... What do you think of suicide bombings? The point is to find out whether the person is a fanatic and believes in islam as an identity crutch or takes it as a beautiful way of life. Those using it as a identity crutch will agree to basically doing anything... bombing/maiming etc to the enemy if it furthers their cause. Whereas those believing otherwise would say that such things are unbecoming of the beautiful religion of Islam and that the Prophet would never have sanctioned them. ....I used this question once and was subsequently rejected . Explain the meaning of life. As I don''t understand the meaning of life beyond the verse "worshipping Allah," it would be nice if someone could give me a fuller explanation. I mean some angels spend their whole time in prostration -- i.e. in literal physical worship. We are not angels, so presumably worship has a much fuller meaning for humans.. This is perhaps one of the later questions to ask....and since I have yet to get past first base (in an islamic sense)....i have yet to use it.... these are kind of detached...spaced out...type questions...i'm sure that lots of the more practical guys can give some more nitty gritty type questions..... I mean for most guys...questions aren't that important. They can pretty much make up their mind by figuring out how the sister looks, what her educational background i (for compatibility reasons), what kind of family she comes from (will mum and dad say ok?), is she religious (meaning she won't dump you after 2 hours), and whether she has a preference on being a career woman or a mommy woman (guys wanting lots of kids don't want career women. For example my friend who wants 26 kids ain't gonna marry a career woman ) I mean the personality thing is much more important for girls....because in reality guys have more (real) power over girls....in a marriage. Never married guys tend to concentrate on looks and religiousness and smarts.. For example, my sister says I represent the "... worst excesses of male objectification of the female...." But, sometimes for us guys personality can really be important....and i once asked a sister without even knowing how she looks and who had the "wrong" ethnicity (according to my parents) because she had an incredibly cool personality. So everything is not black and white....even for superficial idiots like myself and my friends....sometimes personality dominates everything and looks are irrelevent because of other overwhelming qualities....and other times it comes down to looks and family compatibility and other standard stuff..... Since i have probably said too much for my own good....i should stop here.... But yeah...i know what you sis are thinking.....us guys are such a sad species.....well not everybody....there are plenty of guys for whom the superficial stuff is completely irrelevent and all they want is a loyal and religious wife. I know lots of people like that.....now if only i was a more successful matchmaker....that might lead somewhere....(I have been successful only once at playing the matchmaker game.... ) again, I go back to camping. Invite a few friends camping (of course this assumes that muslims are allowed to go camping coed, and if that is not the case then you can delete this post) and invite the girl you are interested in. You will find out everything you need to know in a long weekend and she will find out everything she needs to know about you. Is the person resourceful ie: you plan on making a cheesecake for dessert and you drop the stick of butter in the dirt or in the campfire, how do you go to plan "b"? Does the person wake up after breakfast is done? do you wake up after breakfast is done? I have done this on several occasions and camping brings out the true self. Also, you have plenty of time around the campifre to find out about life in general |
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| UmmWafi |
| 05/20/03 at 01:23:49 |
| [slm] Wow I feel like I am in some kind of spaced out zone or a linear alternative reality. Either that or things were waaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy simpler when I wanted to get married. Sure, asking questions are good and some questions must be asked. Beware though of making decisions based on that Q&A session cos what one say before marriage and what really happen after marriage can differ. Not because one intended to deceive but theory and experience are different kettles of fish. If I remember correctly, my husband asked me 3 very important questions before asking me to marry him. 1. Can you foresee growing old with me regardless of any challenges we might face ? 2. Do you think we are strong enough together to make a marriage work ? 3. Do you wanna journey to Jannah with me ? Finally, he decided to marry me anyway despite my answers cos he thinks saving mankind from this little fireball is his jihad :-/ ;D :D |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Tesseract |
| 05/20/03 at 19:17:56 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum, [quote]If you asked lots questions like that....like how many purses and shoes someone had...I suspect you would get handbagged and heavily kicked in the rear for acting like such a cheapskate.....[/quote] If questions like these can be asked "Would you buy me the car of my dreams, even if we could not afford it? " and they are not counted as being pointless, then to me, above 10 questions make a whole lot of point. Otherwise, I agree, asking those questions can be a stupidity. [quote]I mean what's the point? Sounds like the guy is on welfare or very paranoid about his wife spending money. [/quote] I know of stories where husband makes 150 K a year, and wife wants to buy a private jet, 500 K mansion, luxurious cars like Merc., Jaguar whatever, (and its all easy to get it financed here in States) and poor husband wants his kids to get the best education from whichever univ. that is, but that costs a lot, so ultimately after 18 years of marriage, they got divorced. Wife happily marries a filthy rich guy, hubby marries another hoor, who suffers? KIDS. What if I am a lawyer or a doctor, and I make 400 K a year? I gladly admit that I am paranoid about my wife spending my income. So I ask a MILLION questions. Prove it otherwise, why shouldn't guys be asking a lot of questions? Wassalam. |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| strivinsista_1 |
| 05/20/03 at 22:40:57 |
| bismillah Assalamalaykum these questions are easy want my answers :P hmmm i don't like shopping (husband can do that) and i don't like make up only when i don't sleep well and i have bags under my eyes ... which saves over 100 dollars ... purses i had 32 purses but i gave them away to the needy as we were moving away from houston ... am down to 2 .... shoes i got 2 pair ... one for school and one for out side ... i need new shoes cuz my school shoes are like messed up .... there : P i got better... and plus there is this hadith i think that says bout masjid is better than shoppin sumfin like that 1. So, How many tons of make-up do u wear ( ok, maybe not tons, but how many kgs.!!!!!) 2. How much time do u spend (waste?) grooming? 3. How many pairs of sandals/shoes do u have? 4. How many of those do u really wear? 5. How many purses do u have? 6. How many of those do u really use? 7. Why do u have so many extra purses/pairs of shoes? 8. How often do u go for shopping? 9. How much time do u spend in shopping malls each time u go? 10. Would u mind if I kicked u off the bed (just for fun) while changing our cute baby's ( who ofcourse has to look like me to be called cute) diapers at 3 a.m? |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| theOriginal |
| 05/21/03 at 06:01:59 |
| [slm] I am supa amused. Especially by the ninja Q...someone actually asked me that. Then proceeded to ask me if I would give up not only my career but the rest of my formal education just to marry him. Then proceeded to inform me that even though he has no money, he would not accept any wedding gifts from my family, and we would live in a closet if we had to, and sleep on the floor the way the Prophet (saw) used to. Now, it MIGHT have sounded kinda nice, EXCEPT, this was the first time I had met the dude, and he was giving this speech in our living room whilst my parents were listening. Also, I hardly wore hijaab at this point in my life, and he *saw* me at an economics forum where I did a presentation on copyright and access to education. All I can say is, I don't know how I came across as the type of person who would give up her education. But anyway... My parents, although they were doing all they could do be polite, asked him what he had done in his life, and how planned on supporting his wife. He told them he was a Visa student in Canada (studying criminology), and once he married me, he would pay less in tuition, and would immediately apply for OSAP (student loan). (Contradiction much?) Obviously, my father showed him the door. And my parents are increasingly weary of guys with beards. And I'm weary of marriage, period. Sadness. But a source of entertainment, ntl. Wasalaam. |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| siddiqui |
| 05/21/03 at 07:09:25 |
| [slm] Iam just going to say Hope you can cook your own food ;) for I can jolly well cook mine :-/ [wlm] addendum I [slm] Folks say [quote]You do realize that you are going to get beat up for this post? Soon enough the gals will ask you why you will cook just for yourself!...cook for her too! [/quote] The question is worth taking a beating ;) Talking of which we have this very pious unmarried br in our mosque When we ask him brother when are u getting married He replies sweetly "Please pray that my wife dosent beat me :D" [wlm] addendum II some say [quote]you are sooo brave... [/quote] Others say[quote] foolish...... [/quote] Most advise[quote]If I were you I would say...duck and run..... [/quote] But hey Iam going to follow no one but My barber ;) , who says Son you need a couple of eggs a day for your hair , or you will soon have none :-/ [wlm] |
| 05/21/03 at 09:24:59 |
| siddiqui |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/21/03 at 10:44:44 |
| [quote author=JustOne link=board=bro;num=1052744764;start=45#45 date=05/21/03 at 06:01:59] [slm] I am supa amused..... But a source of entertainment, ntl. [/quote] I have so many even funnier stories (some of them are hilarious -- like the friend who sent a love letter/proposal for marriage via an email message once. Unfortunately he sent it to the wrong sister on the msa list and to the public MSA list as well! Boy was she surpised. He had to go into hiding after that.) ....but i guess i won't embarrass my friends and myself anymore than i already have on this website....:) [slm] |
| 05/21/03 at 10:47:48 |
| mr-bean |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/21/03 at 12:36:46 |
| [slm] Some more practical questions: (1) Can I see your room...particularly your bathroom?. (I.e. are you clean or a slob...) (2) Are you organized or scatterbrained? (My mom ranks this kind of question quite highly as she says girls have to be quite organized to run a household.) (3) (A real wierd one) Do you walk into the bathroom barefoot? (Another cleanliness question.-- barefootitis is so -- urrr -- gross....) (4) Do you consider yourself smart or stupid or typical? (Some guys (like me) are so stupid that they desperately need someone intelligent to make up for their idiocy. But i guess a person who said they were smart would probably be full of themself......well i donno know....?) (5) Do you like sports? NFL? --Anybody who can watch 2 NFL games on sunday afternoon and be eager to watch Monday Night Football on Monday has got to be a major league timewaster and bum , but nevertheless a very cool girl. And any girl who actually understands American football is a genius....I mean I've been watching it since I was like 5....and I still don't really understand it. (6) Are you clingy or independent? -- Independent people are soooo much cooler (7) What did you think of the Matrix (the first one)? -- The Matrix was the coolest movie ever. Anybody not appreciating that is a bit odd (8) Are you an avid music fan? Music is a very dangerous thing (mostly) -- it has its uses -- but in england we have this phenom of hijabi sisters addicted to MTV which is kind of odd and funny.....and not a very good thing (9) My Mum comes to stay....will you kick her out? (10) My Bro and sis crash at my place.....do you kick me out? (11) Like traveling? Arggggh --- i hate it. Girls who like traveling should sign up for the Peace Corr (12) Will you spend all of my money and then kick me out after I run out of it? (13) What do you think of divorce? What probationary period will you give a guy before you dump him? Two hours? 24 hours? 48 hours? 7 days? A month? 3 years? (14) Ever had a b-friend? (Touchy issue for some...) (15) Ever taken Prozac or similar stuff? (This Q is a killer) (16) Do you experience serious mood swings? (This is the really scary thing about girls.....why can't girls be more like guys?) (17) How much money do you make if any? (Ok...this is a joke...but anybody who makes lots more money than the guy is really cool....but then again they might.....like walk all over the guy all the time........) (18) Do you like bathroom jokes? (I.e are you too serious?) (19) Religious type like questions....what do wanna do in life.....what is your purpose of life....stuff like that.... (20) Kids? (Argh....I'm too young to think about these things....) and lastly.... (21) Ever been arrested for physical assault on a guy? |
| NS |
| 05/21/03 at 13:33:05 |
| mr-bean |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 05/21/03 at 17:45:14 |
(15) Ever taken Prozac or similar stuff? (This Q is a killer) And so it should be. I understand why this may be important to know for many people, but even if the answer is yes, I don't think that should deter people from getting to know the individual. That's so sad if that happens. For instance, I know a guy (I work with him), who's been through a lot (which I'm still finding out about. He reveals bits about himself at times). He had to take medication, but recently he's stopped taking it because he was having really serious side effects. Despite this he is so intelligent mash'Allaah, and I'm so amazed by so many things about him. Just because someone's on medication shouldn't deter anyone. If anything, such people probably have a greater appreciation and understanding of so many things than others, just simply because we haven't gone through what they have, and they've had to go through some sort of growth/development that we may never experience ever in our lives. . (16) Do you experience serious mood swings? (This is the really scary thing about girls.....why can't girls be more like guys?) Come on, it is such a well-known fact that guys go through this too!! ;) And u know it's true! |
| 05/21/03 at 17:46:06 |
| salaampeaceshalom |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| Nomi |
| 05/21/03 at 17:45:58 |
| [slm] all [quote] He told them he was a Visa student in Canada (studying criminology), and once he married me, he would pay less in tuition, and would immediately apply for OSAP (student loan). (Contradiction much?) [/quote] Actually i do know a girl from NZ (a nationality holder) who was about to get married to a guy with a student visa, both were originally from Pakistan, she said that she wont mind marrying him and hence help him out get a PR (just wanted to share this) [quote] And my parents are increasingly weary of guys with beards. [/quote] i dont know why dont people generalize about clean shaved men and non hijaabi/niqaabi ladies, i mean clean shaved men do lots of nasty things but not all of them get black listed, on the other hand when a bearded guy does something silly then people hold it against the whole bearded class !! why is that ??? Asim Zafar [i]PS: its just what i always wonder about i'm not holding this against someone in particular[/i] |
| 05/21/03 at 17:49:10 |
| Nomi |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| strivinsista_1 |
| 05/21/03 at 20:08:51 |
| (16) Do you experience serious mood swings? (This is the really scary thing about girls.....why can't girls be more like guys?) :o try being a girl for once !!!!! and mr. bean for question one .... ermmmm yeah obviously this rishta gonna call be4 he comes ryt ???? if yes .... the girl will run to the bathroom n clean and then go to her room n clean n then take a shower to be clean herself if no.... tell the guy .. " i don't feel good sorry i was in the bathroom too long" |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 05/21/03 at 21:41:01 |
| [slm] Quote from Mr. bean: (7) What did you think of the Matrix (the first one)? -- The Matrix was the coolest movie ever. Anybody not appreciating that is a bit odd :o :o :o hmm...i do think matrix is a good movie, but that doesn't meant that someone else who thinks matrix isn't coolest movie are odd!! wow buddy, how old r u anyways?? cuz i am sorry to say u sound very young and silly indeed. ;D another thing if u clean ur bathroom, i mean really really sparkly clean it u don't neet to go with sandals there... Peace........ |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| jannah |
| 05/21/03 at 23:20:00 |
| [wlm] nice list mr bean :D here's my list of questions i WISH i could really ask, but can't ;) 1. If u came home from work and there was no food and just a note that said 'salam honey i went to the halaqa at the mosque' how would u feel? 2. Are you pro PDA or anti PDA? 3. How much of a mama's boy are u? 4. Do you plan on changing me after marriage? If so, what aspects? 5. What kind of gifts would u get your wife? If any? 6. Are u unreasonably jealous? 7. Are u into the traditional role of the wife? 8. Would u be actively involved in raising the kids? 9. Are u a compassionate, romantic, kind person? 10. How many nights a week will u cook dinner? |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| siddiqui |
| 05/21/03 at 23:30:47 |
| [slm] [quote]1. If u came home from work and there was no food and just a note that said 'salam honey i went to the halaqa at the mosque' how would u feel? 2. Are you pro PDA or anti PDA? 3. How much of a mama's boy are u? 4. Do you plan on changing me after marriage? If so, what aspects? 5. What kind of gifts would u get your wife? If any? 6. Are u unreasonably jealous? 7. Are u into the traditional role of the wife? 8. Would u be actively involved in raising the kids? 9. Are u a compassionate, romantic, kind person? 10. How many nights a week will u cook dinner? [/quote] Is this the carrot or the stick ? :-/ [wlm] |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| jannah |
| 05/22/03 at 00:28:34 |
| [slm] ok before i get jumped by all the brothers, let me explain...:) 1. If u came home from work and there was no food and just a note that said 'salam honey i went to the halaqa at the mosque' how would u feel? - most guys will say awful or it's not right of her.. shows where his priority is regarding his wife... cooking food or going to the mosque 2. Are you pro PDA or anti PDA? - shows if he's affectionate or not 3. How much of a mama's boy are u? - all guys are.. but how much is the question ;) 4. Do you plan on changing me after marriage? If so, what aspects? - i wish they'd come right out and say... 5. What kind of gifts would u get your wife? If any? - this isn't a materialistic question, it's truly indicative of who they are if they say a blender or vacuum cleaner.. or none... 6. Are u unreasonably jealous? - causes big problems in a marriage 7. Are u into the traditional role of the wife? - traditional role to me is cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids as the spectrum of life, not including islamic knowledge, dawah, working for the community or the ummah etc 8. Would u be actively involved in raising the kids? -indicates if he's the strict provider type that has nothing to do with the kids or if he's the dad that plays with the kids and is their friend and good father 9. Are u a compassionate, romantic, kind person? -man wouldn't u love to know this? 10. How many nights a week will u cook dinner? -the question assumes him cooking dinner at all.. a big assumption ;) |
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| ltcorpest2 |
| 05/22/03 at 01:45:33 |
| Jannah, I think those are pretty good. Guys should be able to cook, although if i am cooking it will be something that can be put on the BBQ or mexican food. The fathering part is good also, I know some guys who just can't handle kids and the father is the most influential person your childern will be involved in (with the exeption of...), and i would think a potentila wife wants her kids to be raised by a father who is really involved with the kids. the jealousy part (and i guess i could be way wrong) seems more likely on the womans part? also the changing part is more likely done by the woman to the guy. |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/22/03 at 09:28:12 |
| [quote author=IMuslim_4Ever link=board=bro;num=1052744764;start=45#52 date=05/21/03 at 21:41:01] hmm...i do think matrix is a good movie, but that doesn't meant that someone else who thinks matrix isn't coolest movie are odd!! wow buddy, how old r u anyways?? cuz i am sorry to say u sound very young and silly indeed. ;D [/quote] Well. most highly regarded movies have a strong romance thing.......which is like so incredibly boring.....argh! So if you throw that lot out....you are left with action movies and philisophical movies....and The Matrix is the master action movie and the philosophical stuff....while a bit chessy (particularly the human battery stuff) is pretty cool.. So there you go: a proof of why the Matrix is the coolest ever, like really ever movie....;) [quote] another thing if u clean ur bathroom, i mean really really sparkly clean it u don't neet to go with sandals there... .[/quote] oh maaaan,.....bathrooms are like by definition gross......just think what folks do inside.....!!! And muslim ones,....man those are the stinckiest ones, particularly the ones in the mosques.... And even lots of muslim guys do their business standing up....which is like OMG sooo incredibly gross..... [quote] i dont know why dont people generalize about clean shaved men and non hijaabi/niqaabi ladies, i mean clean shaved men do lots of nasty things but not all of them get black listed, on the other hand when a bearded guy does something silly then people hold it against the whole bearded class !! why is that [/quote] The thing is the felonies of the bearded tend to differ from the felonies of the unbearded. You see the bearded are more likely to sequester an educated girl to the home and place all sorts of difficult restrictions on her. The unbearded are just more liable to be jerks and then exploit the girl. Baba big beard is very likely to be a very nice person....but also kind of like more likely to live in a different universe. Whereas Baba no beard after marriage is much more likely to quickly morph from Mr Sweet and charming to Mr abusive and Mr Jerka de la Universe while still remaining in this universe. You see it comes down to the following: people marry very religious folks because they are supposed to have a very good character, be honest, and caring. Whereas people marry marginally religious people because they have money, are good looking, have an influential family, or are just charm and panache on two legs. Thus, when Baba big beard acts like a jerk, people are much more likely to be very, very disappointed. Whereas when Baba no-beard-but-big-charm acts like a jerk....people are more likely to just sigh.....and say....well I knew he wasn't an angel....at least it was good while it lasted... So again: the point is as religious folks who stand for good morality religious people will always be scrutinized much more than the non-religious folk. I mean suppose Baba big beard cheats on his wife. Imagine the outrage. Now suppose Baba big charm cheats on his wife. Most people wouldn't even be bothered, they wouuldn't even bat an eyelid! Note, a lot of what I said it very tongue in cheak. I think Baba big beard is much cooler than Baba Big Charm, but alas.... [quote] 2. Are you pro PDA or anti PDA? - shows if he's affectionate or not [/quote] Arghh....why do girls like this PDA stuff.....I mean it is so gross...eeeew sick.... I remember once my Dad told my Mom "I love you" in a very tender way in front of us kids....and us kids were like sooo shocked...i think we just looked at each other all thinking the same thought....Dad has fallen off his rocker.... maaan...dad has popped a few marbles loose.... I mean moms and dads should hide that kind of emotional vulnerablity stuff from kids....and no....i am not still in third grade...and no, i don't think girls have cooties....well maybe just a few... [quote] 9. Are u a compassionate, romantic, kind person? -man wouldn't u love to know this? [/quote] OMG....why do girls have to gross fascination with romance....its like sooo gross.... [quote] (15) Ever taken Prozac or similar stuff? (This Q is a killer) And so it should be. I understand why this may be important to know for many people, but even if the answer is yes, I don't think that should deter people from getting to know the individual. That's so sad if that happens. For instance, I know a guy (I work with him), who's been through a lot (which I'm still finding out about. He reveals bits about himself at times). He had to take medication, but recently he's stopped taking it because he was having really serious side effects. [/quote] I guess no guy would have the gall to ask this....as like 60% of all American women are on Prozac or Zanex or somthing of that sort.....I even had a female prof who publicly told us that she was on Prozac. So if you weed out all of the Prozac users, you'll prob be scraping the bottom of the barrell when looking for somebody.... [quote] 16) Do you experience serious mood swings? (This is the really scary thing about girls.....why can't girls be more like guys?) Come on, it is such a well-known fact that guys go through this too!! And u know it's true! [/quote] No way!!......a few guys do....but we call them manic depressives. When girls go through that sort of stuff....we call them normal ;) |
| 05/22/03 at 11:06:56 |
| mr-bean |
| Re: What questions will you ask? |
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| strivinsista_1 |
| 05/22/03 at 15:46:09 |
| i'm moody everyday .... its like u touch me ama throw my slipper in ur face wut ever i can find in front of me... |
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| BroHanif |
| 05/22/03 at 19:10:52 |
| salaams, Supposedly answers by a bro to Jannah questions. These quesions are purely fictional and do not respresent any intent. 1. If u came home from work and there was no food and just a note that said 'salam honey i went to the halaqa at the mosque' how would u feel? Cooking time for me again. 2. Are you pro PDA or anti PDA? Depends if its in mall or in field. And whether its toddler or mama. 4. Do you plan on changing me after marriage? If so, what aspects? wouldn't this be pregnancy ? 5. What kind of gifts would u get your wife? If any? Since your a geek then surely geek toy like a wireless laptop 6. Are u unreasonably jealous? Beauty has its price 7. Are u into the traditional role of the wife? All women should know how to make at least chapati 8. Would u be actively involved in raising the kids? Dirty nappies any day 9. Are u a compassionate, romantic, kind person? Isn't that the same as saying will you take me shopping ? 10. How many nights a week will u cook dinner? Depends how many nights you are at the mosque i.e. halaqah sessions!. salaams Hanif. p.s. folks remember above is fiction. |
| NS |
| 05/22/03 at 19:14:29 |
| BroHanif |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 05/22/03 at 21:14:48 |
| m[quote author=Madina Wrestler link=board=bro;num=1052744764;start=45#59 date=05/22/03 at 19:10:52] 9. Are u a compassionate, romantic, kind person? Isn't that the same as saying will you take me shopping ? [/quote] ;D ;D ;D [slm] Thats not always true ;) ;) |
| NS |
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| UmmWafi |
| 05/22/03 at 23:26:53 |
| [slm] I have taken Tranxene, Xanax and whatnots before. Is that supposed to say something abt me ? Wassalam |
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| jannah |
| 05/23/03 at 02:08:51 |
| [quote] p.s. folks remember above is fiction.[/quote] [wlm] funny bro... i think? the thing about those questions is that u can't really get the true answers no matter how many questions you ask him directly or round about.. they can only be really answered after marriage and over time... which really sux... wish i had a crystal ball tho :) |
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| mr-bean |
| 05/23/03 at 05:10:35 |
| [quote author=UmmWafi link=board=bro;num=1052744764;start=60#61 date=05/22/03 at 23:26:53] [slm] I have taken Tranxene, Xanax and whatnots before. Is that supposed to say something abt me ? Wassalam[/quote] No....i really meant it as a joke....most of my posts particularly on this section are meant to be very un-serious. Being on anti-depressents isn't a big deal.....in fact I have lots of close relatives....who I definitely think should be on one kind or another ;) Maybe they would then be a bit more chilled out!! [slm] |
| 05/23/03 at 05:11:18 |
| mr-bean |
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| theOriginal |
| 05/23/03 at 05:23:24 |
| [slm] Mr. Bean....lol....maybe you should take a break from this thread. Wasalaam. |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 05/23/03 at 06:25:22 |
| [slm] Mr bean dude, I really think u've put ur foot in it. Hey I'm sure many can say the same about u and maybe u should b on some sort of medciation too ;) If manic depressives constitute for a certain percent of males having mood swings, what's the other percetage's excuse? Hmm, maybe that it's innate or ur just all plain looney anyway so there's no need for an explanation! I now have to post this, my friend sent it to me awhile ago, and now Mr bean your forcing me to put it on here. Pls forgive if for any reason it offends anyone. [wlm] |
| 05/23/03 at 06:26:35 |
| salaampeaceshalom |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 05/23/03 at 06:34:11 |
| [slm] Ok I reread the email I received and I think it's too graphic at certain places, explaining some passages us women have to go through to get to womanhood, and then through the rest of our lives. It would have been a good read for certain ppl, perhaps to get a better understanding of our, women's, lives, but I would be too embarrassed if the guys read certain bits. So sorry!! [wlm] |
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| theOriginal |
| 05/23/03 at 06:58:35 |
| [slm] post it in akhwat! Or send it to me anyway...sounds interesting. |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 05/23/03 at 07:22:41 |
| [slm] U never know when a male's wandering eye finds itself it akwhat!! Ok insha'Allaah will post it 2 u, and if u think it's ok, then will post it in akwhat! [wlm] |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 05/23/03 at 09:09:35 |
| [slm] Um ok dear sis Kathy has done an amazing job (!), and it's now up. And u just know the bros are going to go over and have a peek at it anyway :o ;) wa'salaam |
| 05/23/03 at 09:33:52 |
| salaampeaceshalom |
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| siddiqui |
| 05/23/03 at 09:15:52 |
| [slm] [quote]funny bro... i think? the thing about those questions is that u can't really get the true answers no matter how many questions you ask him directly or round about.. they can only be really answered after marriage and over time..[/quote] People admit these questions can never be answered before marriage ;) Yet they are pursued relentless :-[ Whats going on?. :P [wlm] |
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| bhaloo |
| 05/23/03 at 09:50:24 |
| [slm] Interesting list Mr. Bean, although there's way too many bathroom questions. I'm curious what answers would Mr. Bean find acceptable to his questions? :) I admit that in another thread when he gave a good analysis on sisters, I thought the sisters were going to grill him. :P |
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| jannah |
| 05/23/03 at 11:22:41 |
| [quote author=siddiqui link=board=bro;num=1052744764;start=60#70 date=05/23/03 at 09:15:52] [slm] People admit these questions can never be answered before marriage ;) Yet they are pursued relentless :-[ Whats going on?. :P [wlm][/quote] [wlm] ur right.. we should just accept any guy from the masjid who asks at jumuah and marry them [sarcasm] |
| 05/23/03 at 11:44:59 |
| jannah |
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| Tesseract |
| 05/23/03 at 17:04:52 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum, [quote]Wife happily marries a filthy rich guy, hubby marries another hoor, who suffers? KIDS. [/quote] A bit of clarification here as I got an IM from a concerned sister about this particular quoted statement of mine from one of my previous posts. The word "Hoor" (as in Hoorul 'Ain from Qur'an) is used sometimes sarcastically/symbolically for beautiful women. Its not that word meaning 'woman of ill-repute'. Btw I hate using that ill-repute word under ANY circumstances. So, basically, what I meant was that wife married another filthy rich guy, and husband married another very beautiful woman. JazaakiAllah khair for asking for clarification. Wassalam. |
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| siddiqui |
| 05/23/03 at 23:52:21 |
| [slm] [quote]ur right.. we should just accept any guy from the masjid who asks at jumuah and marry them [sarcasm] [/quote] Shhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeesh :D Hey bros jummah (friday) seems to be a bad day to propose to a sister ;) and dont tell them about your masjid link :P [wlm] :-/ |
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| UmmWafi |
| 05/26/03 at 00:32:03 |
| [quote author=mr-bean link=board=bro;num=1052744764;start=60#63 date=05/23/03 at 05:10:35] No....i really meant it as a joke....most of my posts particularly on this section are meant to be very un-serious. Being on anti-depressents isn't a big deal.....in fact I have lots of close relatives....who I definitely think should be on one kind or another ;) Maybe they would then be a bit more chilled out!![/quote] A joke ? Ok. Actually, for some people, being on anti-depressants is a big deal despite the hype abt it cos being zonked out of your wits ain't that fun after a bit. Withdrawal symptoms ain't fun too. Oh, btw, taking Prozac as a "happy pill" is so passe. I hear the underground rave is now ecstacy. |
| 05/26/03 at 00:32:39 |
| UmmWafi |
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| Fozia |
| 06/02/03 at 13:05:30 |
| I couldn't resist this one. Is it OK to post questions and answers I was asked/gave(or wish I'd given)?? 1) How long has england been suffering this famine?? (I'm skinny OK not my fault, I had a job not laughing in his face) 2) How much does your dad earn??(why how much of an allowance were you expecting) 3) Do you speak english?? (Hello I'm the one from england.. doh) 4) My daughter studied in an english convent school (this is considered the height of sophistication in India??) what kind of school did you study in?? (see q3) 5) How old are you:o, my beti is 10 and has been engaged since she was 7...?? (err congratulations??) NB all these qestions were asked by the parents. |
| 06/02/03 at 14:28:10 |
| Fozia |
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| Sabr |
| 06/06/03 at 14:47:25 |
| [slm] haven't been on d board 4 a while ..interesting but funny topic though..... My quest was 1. Are u kind to small children and dumb animals ?? ;) His reply ??? ??? :-/ |
| 06/06/03 at 14:50:04 |
| Sabr |
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| Ruqayyah |
| 06/07/03 at 22:31:53 |
| [slm] Two things i wanted to comment on: [quote] Actually, for some people, being on anti-depressants is a big deal despite the hype abt it cos being zonked out of your wits ain't that fun after a bit. Withdrawal symptoms ain't fun too. Oh, btw, taking Prozac as a "happy pill" is so passe[/quote] Depression is a serious and *real* disease. It can happen secondary to a traumatic event and other times it can just happen without any preceding event. Anti depressants are handed out like candy by physicians, sometimes, but it just goes to show you how there are a lot of depressed or anxious people out there. And just because you've had depression or were on an anti-depressant, it doesn't make you weaker or less of a muslim. You wouldn't say that about someone who had hypertension. [quote]Arghh....why do girls like this PDA stuff.....I mean it is so gross...eeeew sick.... I remember once my Dad told my Mom "I love you" in a very tender way in front of us kids....and us kids were like sooo shocked...i think we just looked at each other all thinking the same thought....Dad has fallen off his rocker.... maaan...dad has popped a few marbles loose.... I mean moms and dads should hide that kind of emotional vulnerablity stuff from kids....and no....i am not still in third grade...and no, i don't think girls have cooties....well maybe just a few... [/quote] [quote]OMG....why do girls have to gross fascination with romance....its like sooo gross.... [/quote] Mr. Bean, i've enjoyed your posts for the most part, no matter how tongue in cheek they are, but seriously, this attitude is prolly a stumbling block in your search of your other half! I think it's incredibly appropriate for parents to show a little affection between each other, this is how our sons learn to treat women with respect and affection! If i had to guess, i bet you're desi. Arab guys know how to do all that nice romance and affection because they've seen their parents show affection with each other. I'm just saying that in general, that's what i've seen. there are desi guys out there who know a thing or two about romance :) and romance isn't sulkily going w/ your wife to the mall! my goodness! someone else started a thread on the best date you could take your wife on or something along those lines (excuse me for forgetting who the poster was!) but mashallah! this is what girls are looking for. THIS IS IT. i mean he's laying the secret right out there, if guys would read it, and tried it, it would so work! All girls are looking for is a guy to do a little something creative. it doesn't have to be big and showy at all! something small and meaningful that shows you were paying attention ;) [wlm] ruqayyah |
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| nouha |
| 06/08/03 at 02:13:42 |
| [slm] this is my first time venturing into this thread so im sorry if this has allready been asked?..... - what time is fajr...... (indication to whether he/she prays it or not..... 8) ruqayah.. i have yet to meet an affectionate arab bro ... :P wasalam nouha:) |
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| Barr |
| 06/08/03 at 04:17:07 |
| [slm] wr wb :) [quote]My quest was 1. Are u kind to small children and dumb animals ?? ;)[/quote] :) Reminds me of a question a bro asked me... [i]If you could choose one word each to describe your relational behaviour towards each of the following, what would those words be and why ? (i) Men. (ii) Children. (iii) Animals. [/i] I thot it was a good question ;D wassalam :-) |
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