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| Dating |
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| moonie |
| 05/12/03 at 17:41:33 |
| [slm] I have been wondering for a while. Is there something wrong with dating? i have been asked this many time and i have saidthat there is something wrong with it but i am not sure what is wrong with it? please help me explain this. Thanks [wlm] |
| Re: Dating |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/12/03 at 23:27:00 |
| [slm] [i]I found this for you..hope it helps, insh'Allah[/i] Details of Fatwa  Title of Fatwa Boys and Girls Dating and Hanging out  Date of Fatwa  13/ December/ 2001  Date of Reply 13/ December/ 2001  Topic Of Fatwa  Islamic Behaviour   Question of Fatwa I am the only girl wearing the Hijab in my shcool. It is an International mixed school. My friend is about to go out with a boy. I do advised her to stop dating with that boy, but she did not listen. I am worried about such an action and I think that it is against Islam. Could you please furnish me with the Islamic view regarding dating and hanging out between boys and girls? Your earliest response will be very much appreciated!  Name of Mufti Islam Online Fatwa Committee  Content of Reply In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All thanks and praises are due to Allah and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. Dear sister in Islam, thank you very much for having confidence in us and we pray to Allah to grant you deep insight regarding religious issues that are of primary concern to you. Dearest sister, we really hail your religious commitment and we invoke Allah to strengthen your steps along the path of truth. We admire your wearing of the Hijab and we ask Allah that all your female classmates at school follow suit, Amen. It is a courageous initiative to start practicing Da`awah at this tender age. You can best practice Da`wah by citing an Islamic exemplar for others to follow. It is also advisable to help uncommitted classmates at school to practice Islam and to be committed Muslims. It maybe through your mild approach, wisdom and fair exhortation that Allah will bring those classmates to the straight path. “Dating and hanging out between a boy and a girl is forbidden in Islam for many reasons. Muslims take pride in staying clear away from such practice in order to preserve their dignity, respect, and chastity. Any person would agree that if dating was not so common nowadays, then, our society wouldn't be experiencing so many problems with teenage pregnancies, children left abandoned to orphanages or foster homes, single parenthood and so on. What is more catastrophic to morals than a boy and a girl being alone in secluded areas, touching, kissing, etc. As you know, Islam encourages marriage, ethical behavior, and the preservation of the family, and dating contradicts with one or all of these goals. Social studies have proved that dating, which some people view as necessary for a couple to familiarize with each other before marriage, doesn't lead to happier and more successful marriages. Actually, in many countries where dating prevails, divorce rate soars high daily. But this doesn't mean that a Muslim couple who wants to get married doesn't have the right to know each other. Instead, while getting to know each other, the adult couple has to be in the presence of other people and never in seclusion. The couple has to respect the Islamic guidelines, and both of them have to realize that they are together for the purpose of getting married in the future and not for having fun. Also, since dating may lead to committing fornication, Allah has warned us in many verses in the Qur'an not to approach it, and the Shari`ah has closed all the avenues leading to it. Allah Almighty says: “And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way.”” (Al-Israa’: 32) The above quotation is based on an answer given to a similar question at www.islamicity.com Sheikh Zubeir Bucheikhie, a prominent Muslim scholar, adds: “Female’s mixing with boys is Haram even if they consider them as brothers, as this may lead to adultery and other prohibited things. It stands to reason that the real brother to a girl is the one who shares with her the same parents. Still, the girl can call other males her brothers in Islam but that do not give her a free and uncurbed rein to hang out with them.” May Allah guide you to the straight path and direct you to that which pleases Him, Amen. Allah Almighty knows best. |
| 05/12/03 at 23:28:56 |
| a_Silver_Rose |
| Re: Dating |
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| Emerald |
| 05/12/03 at 23:30:03 |
| Mohsin, I believe we (Muslims) do date but we call it "courting with the intention to marry". But generally the term "dating" implies that one is just looking for something temporary and in that case it is wrong because it could lead to sin and you'd be wasting each other's time. |
| Re: Dating |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 05/12/03 at 23:42:57 |
| [slm] This is part of an answer from http://www.understanding-islam.com/related/text.asp?type=question&qid=612 [i]As far as your second question is concerned, Islam does not allow what we have come to call "dating". Islam values chastity for both men as well as women. Islam acknowledges the fact that a young man and a young woman can naturally feel attracted towards each other. It also acknowledges the fact that if this attraction is allowed to be gratified without setting any limits, it can easily destroy the whole social structure that Islam wants to promote. The basic principle on which Islam builds its social structure is that a man - for his healthy and natural physical, mental, emotional and psychological development - needs a family. At the time of his birth he needs a mother (or someone in place of a mother) to look after him. At that time, if his needs are ignored, his very existence can so easily be jeopardized. Although at this stage, the father is playing an important role in the background, but in his subsequent years, the role of the father becomes more and more prominent with that of the mother. Then his brothers and sisters, contribute to his psychological and emotional development as well. As he grows older, his society, his tribe, his neighborhood and his family teach him the lessons, which have a great significance in shaping his personality. Some years later, this child grows strong and young. These are the few years of his life during which he believes that he is independent enough to live his life without sharing and even without asking others to share with him. These are the years in which - due to his emotional and physical independence - he is sometimes prone to adopt an attitude of taking all the pleasure that life has to offer without accepting the responsibilities that should naturally entail these privileges (or pleasures). But soon after this phase is over, the mental, physical and emotional weaknesses start creeping in once again and once again, as was the case in the first stage, he becomes emotionally dependent on others. Not before long, he reaches the threshold of old age. Now once again, besides his emotional dependence he also becomes physically dependent on others. Sometimes, he also reaches a stage where his very existence becomes dependent on the care and attention of others. Islam wants to shape the society in a way that would take care of the needs of the complete man and not just a part of his life. Islam, therefore, builds the society in such a way that a family is formed, relationships are created and, thus, not only the needs of a young man are satisfied but also those of the infants and the old. Islam, therefore, builds the society on the institution of marriage - an institution, which is primarily based on firm commitment, love, trust and chastity. This is the reason why Islam holds fornication, not only to be a spiritual crime but a social crime, which is punishable by flogging in public. This is also the reason why Islam directs us to observe certain etiquettes while in the company of the opposite sex, not related to us (mehram). Keeping the above explanation in perspective, it should be quite clear that Islam does not allow what we, in the present day have come to call "dating". "Dating", therefore, seems to be against the very essence of the teachings of Islam regarding the society and its values. 28th March 1999 [/i] |
| Re: Dating |
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| theOriginal |
| 05/13/03 at 05:30:12 |
| [slm] I'm asked this question a lot, especially by people who have just found Islam, or have just begun practicing, and want to get married. Since dating, as an institution, is haraam, they find it very difficult to meet potential spouses, and find it degrading to go thru some matrimonial service thingy... So then they ask me WHY it's not allowed. "After all, you're not doing anything wrong...you have the right intention...you won't even touch the person..." Orrr....maybe people in Toronto can relate....every year (for two years now), the GTA MSA (basically 5 MSAs) has a dinner at the end of the scholastic year (March-ish). Dinner, a speaker, nasheeds, etc etc...It's a fairly big formal event... I took some friends with me last time because they really want to be a part of the community now... They left very dissapointed because it was segregated. I honestly didn't know how to react. I couldn't imagine it NOT being segregated. And if it hadn't been segregated, half of the people there probably would not have come. The people who make the GTA MSA (which, btw, r0x) work. (Which brings up another point...how come when people want to get married, they start hanging around the MSA more...weird, huh?) But I guess they had a point...they said it was the one chance they had to meet potential spouses.... I don't know...you can't disagree with that element completely. Wasalaam. |
| Re: Dating |
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| se7en |
| 05/16/03 at 02:07:18 |
| as salaamu alaykum, a cool article to check out: http://islam.about.com/blcourtship.htm wasalaamu alaykum |
| Re: Dating |
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| asap |
| 05/16/03 at 08:19:07 |
| [slm] All! [quote]....[u]every year[/u] (for two years now), the GTA MSA (basically 5 MSAs) has a dinner at the end of the scholastic year (March-ish). Dinner, a speaker, nasheeds, etc etc...It's a fairly big formal event... [/quote] I guess it's the infrequency of these events that people put high expectations from their point of view. Those who are looking want to mingle and those who are not or already married would like it to be a model islamic event with no hole to see through... My 2 sen wa-salam asap. :) |
| Re: Dating |
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| samr |
| 05/21/03 at 15:32:26 |
| bsmlahh [slm] I am nat an expert but i heard it on the Tv were a man "good teached" saying when a boy and a girl think that they r alone in a house or any place else ,thy r nat alone there r 3 persons in the house :the boy and the girl and the devil. thats what i heard him saying. |
| 05/21/03 at 15:37:26 |
| samr |
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