A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| If a brother proposes his sister!! |
|---|
| asap |
| 05/16/03 at 05:56:36 |
| [slm] All! Have a [] . Well, my question in particular to (unmarried) brothers here: How would you react if your friend/colleague/acquaintance (not necessarily a close friend) propose his (own) sister for marriage to you. Not like a give and take but rather the first step that can lead to marriage, if God so willed. [list] [*] You would run like bro Wrestler never to get back to this guy again. ::) [*] You think it not very appropriate and apologize right away. :o [*] You would evaluate it if you considered your friend a good Muslim overall (and a good friend) and you have known him for a while. [*] Some other reason, in which case if you can elaborate. ;) [/list] Also, would you approach your (good) friend that you consider a good match for your (own) sister. Do you think it might affect your friendship and these things are better left to parents, aunties and uncles? Anyone having real life experience brothers/sisters married/unmarried! My apologies if something similar had been posted before. In that case, could someone point out the link for me, please. Jazak Allah Khair, wa-Salam asap ;-) |
| Re: If a brother proposes his sister!! |
|---|
| jaihoon |
| 05/16/03 at 11:59:31 |
| [quote author=asap link=board=bro;num=1053075397;start=0#0 date=05/16/03 at 05:56:36] [slm] All! Have a [] . Well, my question in particular to (unmarried) brothers here: How would you react if your friend/colleague/acquaintance (not necessarily a close friend) propose his (own) sister for marriage to you. Not like a give and take but rather the first step that can lead to marriage, if God so willed. [/quote] thanx for posting this question? ;) |
| Re: If a brother proposes his sister!! |
|---|
| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 05/16/03 at 19:46:39 |
| [slm] hmm... if the girl is the kind of girl you want, does it matter that her brother is ur friend? i think its a good thing, now u will have a brother-in-law as well as a friend. :) Thank you for the [] heres one from me for all [] [wlm] |
| Re: If a brother proposes his sister!! |
|---|
| faisalsb |
| 05/17/03 at 07:20:00 |
| [slm] Well I'll agree with IMuslim_4ever there is no problem at all and in fact it should be encouraged since Holy Prophet [saw] married daughters of two of his [saw] friends Abu Baker (RAU) and Umar (RAU). So it's kind a strengthening the existing relationship of friendship. When Hafsa bint Umar bin Khatab (RAU) became widow, Hazrat Umar (RAU) proposed for his daughter to Hazrat Usman (RAU) and Hazrat Abu Baker (RAU) respectively but both of them didn't reply positively. Then Hazrat Umar (RAU) went to Holy Prophet [saw] and complained about Hazrat Usman (RAU) and Hazrat Abu Baker (RAU) behavior. Holy Prophet (SAAW) replied "Usman (RAU) will marry better than Hafsa (RAU) and Hafsa (RAU) will marry better than Usman (RAU)" then Holy Prophet [saw] himself proposed for Hafsa (RAU) to Hazrat Umar (RAU). And latter daughter of Holy Prophet [saw] was married to Usman (RAU). So it shows there is no shame or disgrace to propose for your sister or daughter to your friends if they are good muslims. But it also depends on the friend and his character. Like once I had such experience that one colleague of mine proposed for his sister to me. My colleague himself was not a practical muslim which didn't encourage me to consider it seriously. But again there can be exceptions so I think it depends on the individual's circumstances. |
| 05/17/03 at 07:31:24 |
| faisalsb |
| Re: If a brother proposes his sister!! |
|---|
| asap |
| 05/18/03 at 06:24:01 |
| [slm] All! Well, sis IMuslim_4Ever thanks for the [], but my q was when you dont know this lady directly and your friend proposes it. So, do you entertain it any further or brusquely cut it. And thanks bro Faisal for the hadith, I had that in mind when asking the q. Well, I asked this question because the traditional way was for the elders of family to approach and it often requires mutual understanding between families. This is very much acceptable in Islam. The new way is for men and women to interact directly, get to know each other and then decide. This is also (conditionally) accepatable in Islam but the problem is the first interaction. Where and how the men and women gonna meet each other that is Islamic (honorable, respectable, no flirtings etc...). In one thread sis Hijabi (i guess) and sis AyeshaZ were speaking of get together dinner for potential candidates wherein some voiced (legitimate) concern of this getting out of hand. Sis JustOne/theOrig (dont know whoiswho :) ) mentioned people not finding an avenue to interact even in a religious forum. My q is why cant the (real) bro of sisters chip in. My experience is they (often) dont even though it is very honorable as bro Faisal mentions. And I guess it is more to do with lack of brotherhood in the ummah. (You do find ppl saying, oh xyz family is lookin for a suitable boy for their girl, if u know someone. It just doesnt work. Think of getting a job reference. 8) If you have a reference from ur own bro that weighs much more than some stranger hooking up soemone.) wa-salam ;-) asap. |
| Re: If a brother proposes his sister!! |
|---|
| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 05/18/03 at 21:29:49 |
| [slm] You are welcome... about finding potential “soul mate” …sigh… I know what u mean… well I think I do…. I just hope all of the luck to u brother…that is if u r looking…. And as for ur friend why don’t u tell him how u feel? How do u feel anyway? Like do u want ur family to find someone for u? if that so then you should tell ur friend that the responsibility is ur family’s.... You wrote that “Well, I asked this question because the traditional way was for the elders of family to approach and it often requires mutual understanding between families.” That’s so true…its is very important that both families “bond”… then you will feel like that they you are one from both family. :) [wlm] P.S. sorry if i worte anything wrong...honestly i have no clue about any martial issues...i just worte my opinion and whats on my mind... |
| Re: If a brother proposes his sister!! |
|---|
| Chris |
| 05/23/03 at 15:02:28 |
| I would want to talk to the girl myself in private, so I got to know her before making any decision I might later regret. However, my first incliation would be to wallop the twit, a woman does NOT belong to her brother and he has no right to try to arrange a marrage for her, even to his best friend. Chris |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |