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Spouse Selection Question

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Spouse Selection Question
ikani
05/22/03 at 05:13:24
[slm]
Greetings everyone. I live in Nigeria, Africa and here's a question I've been asking for quite a while now: how does one discover the actual person one wishes to marry i.e. the 'spouse to be'(using references from the Qur'an and the various examples from Hadeeth and historical accounts of past, stronger muslim societies)?
I'm a little confused. For instance, if Anas is wishes to marry Lateefah, i know that he sends a delegation to meet with her parents and family to seek her consent, when they do, the couple can meet in the presence of non-mahram relatives to see each other and get to know themselves better then finally they get married. What I want to know is, how did Anas know Lateefah was the one he wanted to marry and not Zainab or Maryam? Had he seen her somewhere - wouldn't that be wrongful stirring of emotions? Or had he heard about her - from whom, her brother, sister, parents, friends or whom? How did they describe her to him?
I've heard people say 'arranged' marriages are the most Islamic option, but, I don't know, would muslim men of earlier societies who were, let's say successful traders, leaders or soldiers have their spouses selected for them by their parents?
Why and how would a muslim man marry a non-muslim lady?
Thanks.
Re: Spouse Selection Question
theOriginal
05/22/03 at 12:00:03
[slm]

Anas (amazing name, btw...although it is SO mispronounced in the west) finds out that there is some chick (no reference to poultry) named Lateefah who comes from a reasonably good household and has a good reputation (Masha Allah  ;) ).  He usually finds this out through family or friends.  Soooooooo, Anas goes and meets her in the presence of MAHRAM relatives, and realizes that she has at least half a brain (Masha Allah), and seems like a good girl, etc.  Then, Anas goes home and discusses this with his parents, and then does the Istikhara to get guidance on this matter.

And God willing, he will marry Lateefah if things work out fine.

Wasalaam :)


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