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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Seriously tho... |
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| Kathy |
| 05/22/03 at 09:41:14 |
| this quote from a topic in the guys section really sends up some red flags... [quote]I remember once my Dad told my Mom "I love you" in a very tender way in front of us kids....and us kids were like sooo shocked...i think we just looked at each other all thinking the same thought....Dad has fallen off his rocker.... maaan...dad has popped a few marbles loose.... [/quote] [slm] I split it off into this section because I wanted this post to take a more serious tone. A friend of mine has this quote on her refridgerator. "The best thing a father can do for his kids, Is to love their mother." A friend of mine married a man who made it very clear to her that he does no "PDAs" And when she met his family, she saw no love or caring between the parents. Needless to say, she married him and years later she is still longing to be held and touched. Pretty sad.... Where else are the kids going to learn this? |
| Re: Seriously tho... |
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| jannah |
| 05/22/03 at 12:40:50 |
| [slm] Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) kissed his grandson Hasan bin `Ali in the presence of Aqra` bin Habis. Thereupon Aqra` remarked: "I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.'' The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) cast a glance upon him and said, "He who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Commentary: This Hadith has already been placed earlier. To pamper and kiss children is an expression of compassion and kindness. One who lacks this tender quality and fails to behave kind-heartedly towards people, may be deprived of Divine mercy. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) has said, "Have compassion for others, Allah will have mercy on you.'' On another occasion the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Be merciful to others and Allah will have mercy on you, and forgive (others), you will be forgiven.'' |
| Re: Seriously tho... |
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| Adi28 |
| 05/22/03 at 23:53:13 |
| Salaams All, I do really believe that parents should be loving toward's each other on constant day to day exhange in front of the kids. With the limits for modesty. Becasue i think its important that the kids know that they are growing up in a loving house where they know their parents love each other, becasue it shows thats its ok to love one another out in the open...and its not some thats supposed to be kept in the dark, or behind close doors....and im not just talking about love between a husband and wife...but all kinds of love you know? [wlm] Adilah |
| Re: Seriously tho... |
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| sunset |
| 05/23/03 at 02:29:19 |
| [slm] I kinda agree with Adi28 about this matter cause how the parents treat each other could affect the child behavior when they grow up. I'm talking from my personal experience. The environment I was brought up had no hugging, kissing or even the word 'I love you father, mother or (childs name)' I am not saying we dont care about each other, we do. Only that we don't express our love openly. I have friends who was brought up in a diffrent environment. Guess what? I feel so ackward when they greet me with kissing my cheeks or hugging. Of course when I feel ackwards, this greeting didnt look naturally but was kinda forcely. And I visited my friends family and see how they treat each other, I was like awwww... how sweet and touching... and I wish I could do the same with my family. I know it is really hard to start something as simple as that once all the children grew up into adults. You can only adapt those naturally if you practice from their childhood. I noticed my sister is practicing this with her son and I'm so happy for her. It is so sweet to hear my nephew say, I love you mummy to my sister before he go to sleep. [wlm] :-) |
| Re: Seriously tho... |
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| Ameeraana |
| 05/24/03 at 19:45:12 |
| [slm] I grew up in a family that doesn't show affection also. I actually admired my friends when I saw the how much they showed affection with theirs. We do not hug, kiss, say "I love you" at all. But, all in all, we care about each other a great deal. I love my family and its too bad. I (pre-Islam) had one wonderful boyfriend that taught me how to give affection and I was able to show it when I wasn't around the family. Slowly but surely, though, as time went on and I got used to it I was able to show some affection like holding hands, hugging, etc.. in front of them. He thought my family was wierd, and its so true--my sister who lived 5 minutes away even was always complaining about how fat she was getting and I believed her so I always tried to encourage her to diet and exercise.... well, whaddaya know... one day her daughter said something about "my baby brother" and I was like, what??? So I called my father and he told me she had a baby 2 days before ( they found out only because my sister's boyfriend callled to tell them)!!!! What the????!!!!! I was so upset and calle her and immediately went to her place to visit but when I asked "Why didn't you tell anyone????" her reply, " I didn't feel like it. " That oughta tell you a lot!! Ameera |
| Re: Seriously tho... |
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| Sunnah |
| 05/24/03 at 21:19:31 |
| [slm] i guess i am not the only one with a family who don't show "love" openly :) but of course that doesn't mean we don't love each other, it just not shown. i really want them to show their love though...it would have make us more closer... one thing though...my father is the most lovable and wonderful person! i remember when i was little, my mother used to get sick a lot, and my father used to take care of me and my mother!! He used to get up at night and actually message her back, leg, etc with vicks... (Cuz she used to be in pain) !cute!... so seeing all that i always wish to find someone like my father. :) and to have a future family who shows affection and let u know that they care. its very important to let ur love one know that u love them. [wlm] |
| 05/24/03 at 21:25:11 |
| Sunnah |
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