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| Changing dirty nappies |
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| eleanor |
| 05/23/03 at 11:18:22 |
| [slm] for the Yanks .... nappy=diaper [quote author=Madina Wrestler link=board=bro;num=1052744764;start=45#59 date=05/22/03 at 19:10:52] 8. Would u be actively involved in raising the kids? Dirty nappies any day [/quote] just thought I'd throw a question onto the field here - just how many brothers *are* willing to change dirty nappies/help their toddler with the toilet? It's just that recently we have met a very wonderful practising Muslim family. They have 2 daughters (5 years and 14 months old respectively). They just had a baby boy about a month ago. Up until now the Daddy wouldn't change nappies/do the toilet thing. It was a big no-no but when the son came along he had no problem with it because it was a boy. So okay, there is a sense of hayaa here - because the older two are girls he didn't want to do the nappy thing. Because of the private parts thing etc. So I thought this was awful because what if he was left looking after the daughters and the older one needed to go to the toilet or the younger one had a dirty nappy. Then they'd have to wait till the Mammy came home. Means physical discomfort on the parts of the daughters because of his stupid principles. So I rounded on my husband and demanded to know his opinion. He said he could understand the Daddy, that it was fairly typical (Pakistani) thing. So I asked the lethal question - if we have daughters what's the score? He said (alhamdulillah) that he wouldn't be that strict. So I have decided I will teach my husband to change nappies from Day One. I mean it's not like the girls will have a lasting memory of their Daddy changing their nappy or wiping their bum. (sorry for being graphical :P) On the other hand we know another Muslim family and the (Moroccan) Daddy has no probs changing his daughter's nappy. So maybe it's a cultural thing?? Thoughts appreciated.. :) :) |
| Re: Changing dirty nappies |
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| BroHanif |
| 05/23/03 at 19:20:57 |
| Salaams, At first when I read this I thought mega wow Sis Ellie now a mother to be.. Insha-Allah one day. Ameen. [quote]just thought I'd throw a question onto the field here - just how many brothers *are* willing to change dirty nappies/help their toddler with the toilet? [/quote] Not willing sis but happy to do it. [quote] So okay, there is a sense of hayaa here - because the older two are girls he didn't want to do the nappy thing. Because of the private parts thing etc. So I thought this was awful because what if he was left looking after the daughters and the older one needed to go to the toilet or the younger one had a dirty nappy. Then they'd have to wait till the Mammy came home. [/quote] Not only is it awful but extreme as well. Men shold know at least the following areas, how to cook, change nappies and and above all be preapred to talk about the birds and bees to thier sons/daughters when the time comes. Now about not changing the nappy I think that is very serious, what would happen if the mother becomes seriously ill and is not able to change nappies or passes away ?. Where is the guys hayaa then ? Go to his mom and sister or Sis Ellie and ask her to change nappies, c'mon lets get real. Lets be practical and make it easy on ourselves. And now that they've had a boy, the guy changes the boys nappies, I hope the mom changes them as well otherwise that is really becoming extreme. Wearing a dirty nappy is unconfortable and can cause nappy rash which not looked into can become serious. How would we feel if we urinated in our trousers and then followed it up by excreation and then had to wear the smelly dirty trousers for the rest of the day ? Not nice is it. I think its not a cultural thing at all. Hanif |
| NS |
| Re: Changing dirty nappies |
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| ltcorpest2 |
| 05/23/03 at 20:32:10 |
| you have to remember, that eventually your kids will be changing your diapers. Unless you can go out of this world with a heart attack, you have a fairly good chance of being in the position, assumng you have close family and you are not stuck in some convelescent home, that you will be changing your parents diapers (this is from experience, both parents died of cancer) . And i think my kids diapers were a peice of cake compared to my dads. I do have one freind of mine that does not change his kids diapers and he really lost a lot of respect just from that perspective. Hanif, I hope Fatimah is doing great!! My oldest is almost 4 now and over 45 inches next one just turned 2. and they are still the 2 most handsome boys in the world. anyways, i really hope that all the guys are willingly and gladly doing their turn. I am not afraid to talk to my boys about the birds and bees at all, i am just worried about talking to them about sex and stuff |
| Re: Changing dirty nappies |
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| Tesseract |
| 05/24/03 at 03:28:55 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum, [quote]just thought I'd throw a question onto the field here - just how many brothers *are* willing to change dirty nappies/help their toddler with the toilet? [/quote] Alhamdulillah, I am willing to do that, and it doesn't matter to me whether its 3 a.m or 3 p.m :). Love for a person/thing is best shown by the actions, and I don't know what to say about a person who doesn't love his own children or that his love is so biased that he cannot change his own child's nappies. [quote]It's just that recently we have met a very wonderful practising Muslim family. They have 2 daughters (5 years and 14 months old respectively). They just had a baby boy about a month ago. Up until now the Daddy wouldn't change nappies/do the toilet thing. It was a big no-no but when the son came along he had no problem with it because it was a boy. So okay, there is a sense of hayaa here - because the older two are girls he didn't want to do the nappy thing. Because of the private parts thing etc. [/quote] I can't understand this "hayaa" thing with ur own 5 yr. old/14 month old daughter. It makes sense when ur daughter is 9-10 years old or older i-e basically close to puberty or having attained puberty. Btw, 5 years is too much. Children (both boys and girls) should be toilet trained by that age. [quote]So I rounded on my husband and demanded to know his opinion. He said he could understand the Daddy, that it was fairly typical (Pakistani) thing. [/quote] Disappointed big time by ur husband's statement :( If he would have said that it was fairly typical ignorant thing (instead of Pakistani), that would have helped a lot. My own family has some excellent examples where daughters are much closer to their dad than their mother. [quote]On the other hand we know another Muslim family and the (Moroccan) Daddy has no probs changing his daughter's nappy. So maybe it's a cultural thing?? [/quote] That's not a cultural thing at all. I disagree with that. If u haven't seen some good Pakistani dads, doesn't mean there ain't any. Wassalam. |
| Re: Changing dirty nappies |
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| Abu_Atheek |
| 05/24/03 at 04:26:52 |
| [wlm] Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh [quote]just thought I'd throw a question onto the field here - just how many brothers *are* willing to change dirty nappies/help their toddler with the toilet?[/quote] I have done that to my four children one of whom is already a mother of two little sons. I hope I can practise my *expertise* on my grandchildren after the 16th of this June when they will arrive in Sri Lanka from Qatar, and I will leave Saudi Arabia for good, Insha Allah :) |
| Re: Changing dirty nappies |
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| eleanor |
| 05/24/03 at 08:29:41 |
| [slm] errr.. no the 5 year old is toilet trained, but her Dad won't take her to the toilet (help with washing). Okay so I asked my husband again and he said he had spoken to the man about it and the man said that if it was necessary he would change the nappy/take the big one to the toilet, but as long as his wife is there he wants to save himself the embarassment. For what it's worth the mother doesn't seem too pushed about changing nappies either. I have often said to her "hey the baby's nappy is dirty" and it's a good half hour later before she changes him/her. If I offer then she does it straight away ::) Some people. But Masha Allah they are a very wonderful family and we benefit a lot from being with them. Alhamdulillah. So to say "getting experience" for when our own troop comes, Insha Allah. BroHanif - I'm not a mother to be yet, but feel free to make dua that Allah blesses us with children soon. ;) |
| Re: Changing dirty nappies |
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| Mujahidah |
| 05/25/03 at 08:28:04 |
| Assalamalaykum hahaha!cudnt resit respondin TYPICAL-innit! ...Alhamdulilla, ma dad din change me but mum sed he wud 'av if he needed to, he used to gimme baths though! Also if ma hub din change his daughters napi coz of haya...i wudnt change his sons napi, coz of haya ;). |
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