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wedding questions

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wedding questions
missy
05/25/03 at 21:19:24
I have some questions, mostly just some general questions. (right now anyways) I'm christian, but have been learning quite a bit about Islam and possibly will be converting soon. My boyfriend is a muslim and has asked me to marry him. Basically, I just wanted to get an idea of what kind of wedding would be appropriate to include both his and my traditions so to speak. And I'm not sure how we could do that to please both of our familes. I know my parents will want me to be married with the blessing of the church.  And it's going to be a simple, nice ceremony. Nothing elaborate or expensive, there's nothing like starting a new life together $10,000 in debt, is there? I'm not into spending a lot of money on a wedding.
Has anyone had any experiences with something like this and could help?
Re: wedding questions
Yasmeena
05/25/03 at 23:50:40
[slm]

Please do not take this as "gospel" as I am fairly new to Islam myself.  What I am about to say is my opinion based on what I have learned so far in my studies.

I am not sure that you can get married with the "blessings of the church" for the sake of your parents once accepting Islam.

The term "blessing of the church" sounds Catholic.  The Roman Catholic traditions are against the teachings in the Qur'aan and Sunnah.  Especially in regards to the deity of Christ as one of the main dogmas/tenets of their faith.  I used to be Catholic, of the Charismatic variety, so I am well versed in their teachings and practices.

You said in your question that you are possibly converting to Islam soon.  I pray that what I say does not change your mind.

Once accepting Islam and performing shahaddah, going back to other beliefs and practices is a big no-no.  Even if it is to please our parents.  My mother is still Christian and I love and honor her very much.  BUT!  I do not attend Birthday, Anniversary or Christmas parties that are used as excuses for "family reunions".

It has been a hard decision for me to make but my allegiance is to Allah ta 'ala.  When there is a choice to be made between Allah ta 'ala and anything else, including my family (my husband included) there is only one choice for me.  Allah ta 'ala will ALWAYS come first in my life.

[wlm]
Re: wedding questions
Kathy
05/26/03 at 11:11:36
[slm]

If his family are practicing Muslims... They will oppose him getting married in a church.

Why don't you go talk to them and find out what their expectations are. Then go talk to your parents.

After you have that much information... let us know. There are ways to combine the different traditions...but first you have to decide where you are getting married and who is marrying you (performing the ceramony)

You may find that both sides are unbendable and may have to go a different route.
Re: wedding questions
missy
05/26/03 at 14:13:25
We talked about a few things last night, and what we're most likely going to do is be married offically/legally first, he wants to also be married in the religious way, which I do too, because I feel that you should exchange vows and not just sign your name to a paper, then invite family and friends to the house. And also we'll have to go to a Turkish embassy so it's recognized when/if we go to Turkey later. It's getting complicated. He said last night, 'maybe we'll have to do it several ways to please everyone.' but, that's going too far. I honestly am starting to not want to be married by the Christian church since I've began to loose my faith in it. And he knows that. We still have a lot to talk about together, and I'll let you all know what we plan to do in the end if anyone's interested. My mind is so full of thoughts and ideas and so many things right now it's hard to sort it all out at the moment
Re: wedding questions
onemuslimgirl
05/26/03 at 15:55:01
Please keep us update Missy, your part of the family now!!!!!


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