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| Ever felt ... lost? |
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| Muna |
| 05/29/03 at 03:47:45 |
| AA I guess I should not vent ... like this, but I feel like i need to talk about my problems with people I dont know rather then with people I do know. Firstly, I am not the most religious person ... so please don't judge me ... we all try to do what we can. I use to pray ... but I stopped ... I don't know why sometimes I feel like its a burden rather then something I should love, I know thats an awful thing to say !!!! but I wanna rid that feeling from my heart ... I wanna become better but I just don't know how! I use to wear scarf .. aswell but I wear it off and on now. I guess when i start feeling really guilty I put it back on and then take it off when I don't feel as guilty... man I know this is really bad ... and I know that I am being what the Qur'an critisizes most ... a hypocrite ... munafique ... or however its pronounced .... to make everything worse I date :( ... a lot ... maybe cus I am looking for love in the wrong places ... hoping i might get lucky and God will guide me .... And .... I like this one particular brother ... hes pious and great for the old me who was more religious ... but he lives across the world as we speak ... and quite frankly I am probably the most lost sista y'all will ever meet :( just felt like venting out this weight on my heart... any responses anything that might help me change please don't hesitate to help me :( |
| Re: Ever felt ... lost? |
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| Jawad |
| 05/29/03 at 13:15:45 |
| i know exactly how u feel my iman is like a rollercoaster one month im reading 5 times salah, next month im not reading any but this time i realy feel its gonna stick with me just because instead of ONLY reading salaah ive been doing a lot more i used to just want to increase my iman, but now im increasing my islamic knowledge too besides just praying i read a lot into islamic history, the life of the prophet (saw) and the hadith and instead of listening to music in the car, i burned Qu'ran recitation onto cd, and now im gonna be burning a lot of lectures so i can learn while i drive cause i drive like 40 minutes to work 40 minutes back might as well make the best of my time just kinda put urself in the environment im not sure EXACTLY but, if u take one step towards Allah he takes 27 steps towards you (the 27 prolly isnt right) but im just letting you know, once u make start its easy to keep going inshallah everything will work out for ya jawad |
| feeling lost sux! |
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| Maliha |
| 05/29/03 at 13:38:55 |
| [slm] Sis Muna :-), I don't know where to begin...but all i can say is that i feel for you. All of us go through periods of low Imaan and I for one went through a period of complete heedlessness...so I can certainly relate :( but...there are some definite steps you can take...and start with just that. Baby steps. There are many ahadith and ayahs that remonstrate the need for us to come back to Allah before it's too late. You know the position you are in. You alone know the state of your soul. How would you feel if you were to die right now? How would you feel standing Yawmul Qiyyama facing Allah knowing that All your deeds secret and open are exposed? Can you bear facing Allah's wrath for all of eternity? Reflect on the many blessings Allah has bestowed you with. Your very next breath is dependent upon Him, your life, your food, shelter, clothing, the love, health, youth, and the blessings are just too numerous to illustrate. My sister really spend some time thinking about this, because upon sincere reflection you will gain insight into how much gratitude you should have for the Bestower of all the Ne3ma (blessings) in your life. If you find the "perfect" boyfriend to Love you for all of eternity, that will *not* suffice the restless void you feel inside. That same anxious energy that has you going out there looking for attention, is a yearning from deep within your soul to turn your focus on higher matters in life. I have seen many girls that go from relationship to relationship and that does nothing for them, except make them feel cheap, used, and more disgusted with themselves than they were before. is it worth it? I am really glad that a part of your already recognizes the need to cultivate your imaan. That is awesome :) it would be aweful to keep trekking on falling into shaytaan's deepest gallows of oblivion and darkness upon darkness. Start slowly...begin with your five salaats (they are the most fundamental reminders of Allah throughout the day). Leave sin. Don't date. These are major issues that no matter how much you pray you will continue feeling aweful becuz you are perpetuating the darkness of sin in your heart. Spend some time alone. Reflecting. Keep a journal of your progress. Say Istighfaar A LOT and seek refuge in Allah ALL The Time...the whispers of shaytaan will only increase when you are trying to do right. Think about your soul and how much you are willing to risk for what price? think about death, think about your purpose for existence. DON'T think about marriage. Getting into a relationship right now is not the healthiest option for you. Get together with some sisters in your community, go to the masjid, work with the young uns... :-* it's really fun:) IM me...i would be more than happy to be your sis on this journey:) take care and may Allah strengthen your heart and soul. Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| more thoughts! |
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| Maliha |
| 05/29/03 at 13:51:12 |
| [slm] sorry...i saw this quote from Iqbal and it *really* made me think of your situation. Two points are emphasized: a) like Jawad said spend time increasing your knowledge..the more knowledge you have the harder it is for shaytaan to mess with ya 8) the harder it is for shaytaan to mess with ya...the higher your imaan :-[ b)giving up *anything* for the sole sake of Allah alone will be rewarded with sooo much more that you would start to wonder..why didn't i do this sooner? okay me shut up now ::) check out Iqbal he says it just sooo much more eloquently ;D [i] When attracted by the forces around him, man has the power to shape and direct them; when thwarted by them, he has the capacity to build a much vaster world in the depths of his own inner being, wherein he discovers sources of infinite joy and inspiration. Hard his lot and frail his being, like a rose-leaf, yet no form of reality is so powerful, so inspiring, and so beautiful as the spirit of man! Thus in his inmost being man, as conceived by the Qur’an, is a creative activity, an ascending spirit who, in his onward march, rises from one state of being to another: ‘But Nay! I swear by the sunset’s redness and by the night and its gatherings and by the moon when at her full, that from state to state shall ye be surely carried onward’ (84:16-19). It is the lot of man to share in the deeper aspirations of the universe around him and to shape his own destiny as well as that of the universe, now by adjusting himself to its forces, now by putting the whole of his energy to mould its forces to his own ends and purposes. And in this process of progressive change God becomes a co-worker with him, provided man takes the initiative: ‘Verily God will not change the condition of men, till they change what is in themselves’ (13:11). If he does not take the initiative, if he does not evolve the inner richness of his being, if he ceases to feel the inward push of advancing life, then the spirit within him hardens into stone and he is reduced to the level of dead matter. But his life and the onward march of his spirit depend on the establishment of connections with the reality that confronts him. It is knowledge that establishes these connections, and knowledge is sense-perception elaborated by understanding. -- From: The Reconstruction of Religious Thought in Islam by Allama Iqbal [/i] |
| Re: Ever felt ... lost? |
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| wardah |
| 05/31/03 at 17:04:56 |
[slm] Dear sis Muna....*big cyber hug from me to you* :-) hope this will ease your pains Inshallah and help you to get back on track.. [i]The prophet (saw) said: 'Allah (swt) says: indeed i am as my servant persumes Me to be and i am with him when he remembers Me, so if he remembers Me himself I remember him to Myself, and if he remembers Me amongst a company I remember him amongst a company greater than it, and if he draws near to Me the span of a hand I draw near to him the span of an arm, and if he draws near to Me the span of and arm I draw near to him the span of two outstreched arms, and if he takes a step towards Me I hastily step towards him'[/i] begin with remembering Allah and take it in steps then Inshallah things will be easy for you :-* [wlm] p.s Mashallah sis Maliha put everything in there perfectly :-) p.p.s sis Maliha i liked the extract taken from Iqbal |
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