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| Dawah and Sharing the "past" |
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| Maliha |
| 06/02/03 at 14:33:28 |
| [slm] I had a question about the validity of sharing one's struggles during their Dawah activities. I find that when you are sincere and personal, Dawah work is really well received than if you are austere and share only the basic necessary objectives of Islam. A kind sis pointed out to me, that I may be compromising myself as in the hadith that admonishes us from talking about our misdeeds in public. Now the hadith also states the reasoning, that is if you do it to brag...then it's a bad thing. what if you do it with the intention of helping people understand that the struggle is ongoing.... Okay also I would never feel right doing Dawah if I couldn't say that basically "hey i wasn't alwayz ms. goody two shoes" cuz otherwise i would feel like a fraud. Like those people who wait until they are OLD to repent then they act all Self righteous and stuffy and stuff. Also, what happens to reverts? Should they *not* say how they found their way? By the way, I don't share nitty gritty details of my misdeeds..i just say sweeping stuff and also like there was a period I didn't wear the Hijaab. Okay looking forward to your responses, cuz this has been bothering me since our conversation:( Jazakumu Allahu Khayran Katheeran:) Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| Re: Dawah and Sharing the "past" |
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| deenb4dunya |
| 06/02/03 at 16:33:09 |
| Subhanallaah.. what a good question! 8) -- Deen :-) |
| Re: Dawah and Sharing the "past" |
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| Nistar |
| 06/02/03 at 19:30:41 |
| [slm] Masha'Allah Mystic -- you have great posts. See...this is why you have to go to that school in VA ;) I've been faced with this problem a couple of times -- and have always "lightened up" the extent of my pre-conversion "experiences." But what do you do, when a young muslimah comes up to you and says, "So Nistar, what's so wrong with drinking and dating anyway?" EEP! :o A'udhu billah! Some young ones are very interested in these experiences and may attempt to live vicariously through others. And in cases like this -- I NEVER tell them about it -- and when pushed, will always over-stress the negative aspects. My room-mate tells me that she values my advice because she sees it coming from a source of experience and therefore (in her view) a type of wisdom. Meaning, hearing the Islamic viewpoint and the social ills concerning (ie) dating, is better heard from someone who has dated and who has learned from mistakes, and understands more fully the need for the Islamic injunctions -- instead of someone who simply quotes Islamic reasoning by rote or secondary example. Sharing experiences like this can be scary-scary stuff! Because it *could* open a doorway for evil whisperings -- or even, "well so-and-so did this and repented...so I guess I could learn by mistakes too..." But Mystic is also right imho that da'wah is well received when the personal aspect is involved. There is a HUGE difference between telling someone, "See the exploitation of Shakira and anorexic models -- this is why Islam has modesty" VS "The day I felt my Islam being compromised was when a non-Muslim boy made a pass at me when I was walking to school without proper hijab. That's when I finally recognized the absolute Wisdom and Mercy in God's injunction for women to be modest." (fictional story) Any other thoughts? Peace, Nistar. |
| Re: Dawah and Sharing the "past" |
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| muahmed |
| 06/02/03 at 21:33:51 |
| [slm] ;-) I disagree. The following reply to a similar question by a learned shaykh may clarify the issue. Talking About Sins It is prohibited (haram) and sinful to talk about sins, whether current or past, except when there is a Shariah-countenanced reason. Even when such a reason exists, if it is possible to mention something general (such as not mentioning oneself or any particular type of sins) then mentioning specific sins would remain sinful. This is because it is: (1) obligatory to avoid ‘vain talk’ [defined below] and (2) obligatory to conceal one’s sins. Imam Barkawi said in his al-Tariqa al-Muhammadiyya, “Talking about the vain is to talk about sins [K: one’s own or others’], such as talking about gatherings of drinking, or the fornicators, without there being a valid reasons. This is because it is revealing sin, whether one’s own or anothers, without a [K: religiously valid] reason.” [al-Bariqa al-Mahmudiyya Sharh al-Tariqa al-Muhammadiyya, 3: 224-225] Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him) said, “All my Community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night and to wake up and tell something that they did such-and-such, while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under the cover of Allah, and they rended Allah’s covering from themselves in the morning.” [Bukhari and Muslim] What if I am asked whether I did such and such? Given this, if someone asks one whether one used to do drink, for example, in the ‘bad old days,’ one cannot answer in the affirmative. Rather, one should answer by an indirect answer, like, “Why would any Muslim drink?” Or, “Alhamdulillah, Allah protected me from that,” intending that Allah protected one after one stopped. If such an indirect answer does not come to one’s mind, it would be permitted (or, rather, necessary) to lie and deny this. Why? The reason why it is so important not to talk about sin is because of what sin is: it is that which Allah hates, and may punish its doer for in the Hereafter. Sins go against the very purpose of the creation of humanity, which is to know and worship Allah. If you examine sins, all of them either entail or lead to social harms. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Believers see their sins as if they were sitting at the foot of a mountain and feared that it may fall on them, while the corrupt see their sins as if they were a mere fly that flew by their nose.” [Bukhari and Muslim] Sins are something extremely grave. The believer fears even getting close to sinning, because of their firm belief, sincere devotion, and true love. When people start talking about sins, they lose their gravity and people start thinking (even if only subconsciously) that it is not all that bad to sin. For example, if one missed praying Fajr, one must feel remorseful. This remorse would lead to repentance and a determination not to make the same mistakes again. However, if one went to the breakfast table, and everyone was talking ‘normally’ about how they didn’t get up for Fajr, this sin would feel less grave. Eventually, it would just be ‘the way things are.’ Taking Care of One’s Eyes and Ears This is also why it is important to avoid seeing and hearing that which is not permitted. This is not only the obvious sins, but also reading and seeing things that may affect one’s beliefs or understanding of Islam. We have been instructed by the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) that, “From the excellence of a man’s islam is to leave that which does not concern him.” [A sound (hasan) hadith, transmitted by Tirmidhi and others] The great Hanafi hadith expert, jurist, sufi, and expert in Qur’anic recitations, Mulla Ali al-Qari (Allah have mercy on him) mentioned in his expansive commentary on Mishkat al-Masabih: “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘From the excellence of a man’s Islam is leaving that which does not concern him.’ That is, to leave that which is not important or befitting of him, whether in speech, actions, or thought. Thus, ‘the excellence of a man’s Islam’ is its perfection, such that one remains steadfast in the submission to the commands and prohibitions of Allah, and surrenders to His rulings in accordance to His destiny and decree (qada wa qadr). This is the sign of the heart having been expanded by the light of its Lord, and the descent of quietude (sakina) into the heart. The reality of ‘that which does not concern him’ is that which is not needed for a worldly or next-worldly necessity, and dos not aide in attaining his Lord’s good pleasure, such that it is possible to life without it… This includes excess acts and unnecessary speech… This hadith may well be taken from Allah Most High’s saying, “And who shun all vain things.” [Qur’an, 23: 3 – f: vain things is ‘lagw’ is, which Imam Baydawi explains in his Tafsir as being: ‘that which does not concern them of speech and actions’]… And it has been related in a Prophetic hadith that, “The people of the Garden will not remorse except for moments that passed them by without remembering Allah.” [Tabarani from our master Mu`adh (may Allah be pleased with him)]. So glad tidings to one who takes himself to account before he is taken to account! Allah Most High has said, “O you who believe! Observe your duty to Allah. And let every soul look to that which it sends on before for the morrow. And observe your duty to Allah! Lo! Allah is Informed of what you do. And be not you as those who forgot Allah, therefore He caused them to forget their souls. Such are the wrongdoers.” (Qur’an, 59: 18 ) Awza`i said, ‘`Umar ibn `Abd al-`Aziz wrote to us, ‘Whoever is frequent in remembering death is content with but a little of this world. And whoever counts his speech from his actions speaks little except in that which benefits him.’’ [Mulla Ali al-Qari, Mirqat al-Mafatih, 8: 585 #4840] And Allah alone gives success. |
| Re: Dawah and Sharing the "past" |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 06/02/03 at 22:37:59 |
| [slm] I think we - seekers on this Path of uboodiyyah, on this journey of nearness to Allah (swt) - should always check our inner state to see what is transpiring inside of us when we are thinking or talking about our past or present sins. If we feel even a tinge of delight in thinking or talking about them with other people, then that is a sign that there's something very wrong. Because for one to claim that the sin is now in the *past* means they have repented for their sin. Yet a true repentor never gladdens over his/her misdeeds, but only cries when he/she is reminded of them. What a beautiful person he/she is who has such an intense remorse over his/her sin, that when he/she sees *other people* falling prey to the same sin that he/she once used to commit so heedlessly, his/her eyes well up with tears because he/she remembers his/her own crimes, and suddenly his entire being is overwhelmed with tawbah. Or he/she remembers the immense favor that Allah (awj) bestowed on him/her when He (awj) saved him/her from continuing to live with that sin, and suddenly his/her entire being begins trembling over the realization of this magnificent favor from the Creator - of which he/she is not even deserving - and his/her heart bursts with longing for His most Majestic Face (swt). Subhan Allah, isn't that the attitude we should aspire for? But I digress. Or do I? Another thing that a believer must be conscious of is the fact that he/she is *never* good in his/her own eyes. He/she always views him/herself lagging behind in his/her obligations towards his/her deen and Allah (swt). Therefore to speak to another with the attitude of "I was never a good Muslim" indicates a claim that one is now a "good Muslim." This, wal'iyaadhu billah, is a trap of Shaytaan - one we should always be cognisant of. As for how to be effective in making da'wah, it definitely helps to give it a personal touch. However, the *way* you do it makes all the difference. Keeping the above in mind, I think you can come up with the answer yourself, but let me give you an example in case you don't understand what I'm talking about ... Suppose you were once a person who *loved* listening to music (the kind which has been declared haram by the consensus of the scholars). You were so attached to it that you memorized many hundreds of songs, had tens of autographs from several famous music stars, and knew how to play several instruments and could compose your own songs. But then, Allah (awj) decided to bestow His Rahmah upon you and took you out of that situation. Now, alhamdulillah, you never listen to that type of music (except accidentally), and have found it easy (and even rewarding) to avoid what was once your life (as you thought of it)! Years later, a youth comes your way. This youth has begun to get closer to Islam, has begun to learn more, adopt more, progress more each day. And it brings delight to your heart as you see him/her progress in his/her Deen. But then, one day, he/she comes to you with a painful face and guilt in his eyes. He speaks in a tone of helplessness, and admits in front of you his/her shortcoming. "I keep wanting to stop listening to music, but I can't. I wonder if I will ever. What's wrong with me?" What do you say to this youth? Before you answer this question, ask yourself what you should *feel*. Along with what I described above, you should also feel sympathy for this youth. Not only that, you should feel your chest bursting with joy because you realize how Allah (awj) is showing this youth the Path to Guidance right in front of your eyes! All he/she has to do is grab onto it tightly. Then, you proceed to advise. You tell the youth, as you remember your own pitiful (yes, pitiful) past, that you too were once trapped in the same sin. That you yourself continued to commit the crime of disobeying Allah (awj) without paying any heed (elaborate on how much you were drowned in that sin - all the time feeling remorse over your previous state - thus making the youth realize that you can totally relate to his/her present state, perhaps more than he/she initially had imagined). Then tell the youth that you never completely realized the gravity of what you were doing until .... And then continue with the story: What happened then? How did you see the light? How did you, practically, go from being a music freak to never listening to music again? But please notice what happened. You never *belittled* your sin. You never talked about it in jest. You never seemed to be indifferent about its gravity. All along, you showed *grief* over having been in that state for so long, with your words and in your demeanor, in your facial expression and in your tone of voice. You went as far as rebuking and reprimanding yourself (out loud) in front of the youth, when reminiscing over your disgusting (yes disgusting) past. And then you gave hope to this youth, and told him/her there is a way out. That it is not impossible. And you attributed the reason for your eventual success directly back to Allah (awj), and not to your own self. I hope you can see that giving advice with all of these ingredients is not something that can be done artificially. It's a state of mind that one must be in, spontaneously. Otherwise, the advice loses its effect, and the daa'ee never pierces the hearts of others. What all this is therefore preceded with is a conscious effort to constantly check your *own* self. When you are in a constant state of tazkiyah and tawbah, you will see - insha Allah - that you will not have to open your mouth much, and people will be led to the Truth through you bi'idhnillahi ta'aala. May Allah (awj) give us all that tawfeeq. Much more can be said, but I will stop right here and let others share their advice, and let you explore this further on your own. Take care. Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. |
| 06/02/03 at 22:56:35 |
| Abu_Hamza |
| Re: Dawah and Sharing the "past" |
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| se7en |
| 06/03/03 at 02:57:11 |
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, I think also it's important to understand that there is nothing wrong in describing your personal *struggle*; in talking about how you personally have struggled to overcome a particular challenge, or to discipline yourself in a specific circumstance. I think there is a distinction between doing that, and going into unnecessary detail/description about a past indiscretion or sin. In da'wah I think it is extremely important to speak from your own experiences and personal understanding, and talk about what you as a Muslim feel, believe, and think -- and not try to be a voice for all of Islam. Your environment, family, personality.. all shape your understanding and implementation of Islam. |
| Re: Dawah and Sharing the "past" |
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| Nabila |
| 06/03/03 at 04:26:46 |
| [slm] I think there's a reason why the membership of the Nation of Islam trebled under Malcolm X -- he was one of them, the people on the streets, and his message basically said, if the NOI can help me, then maybe it can help you too. Look at what I used to be, a drug pusher a jail bird, a pimp and now I feel that the NOI has changed me for the better. This is why former crack addicts make the best counsellors, former alcoholics the best mentors; people are more likely to believe that they can be helped when they see with their own eyes someone who has been helped, instead of a squeaky clean guy who may not be able to relate effectively. This may apply in a more limited sense to da'wah too. When a person who is guilty of a crime against Allaah (swt) like they drink or date or something, then they may feel a sense of hopelessness, that no one can help them, and God doesnt care because they are sinners. But an individual who has had the experience, can share that with them may help them find the way. Abu Hamza gave an excellent example of judiciously sharing ones former sins with a person in need. ma asalaamah and take care |
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