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Unbelievable Proposals !
Shahida
06/03/03 at 07:13:55
[slm] Inspired by Mr Bean's advice in the Ikhwan club, I thought I'd start a thread about the worst proposal ever received...I have a ton of stories...but will let you sisters start off, inshaAllah. {Note: this is not to diss the poor guys, but to highlight what we found so disgusting or repulsive about them or the situation in general.  Who knows, maybe ppl don't know that these things irk us?} Salam Shahida :-)
06/03/03 at 08:00:31
Kathy

Re: Proposals from HELL!
theOriginal
06/03/03 at 07:36:45
[slm] hahahahahaa...okay GOTTA LOVE THIS POST. It's going to be pretty hard to choose my worst ever proposal....since all of them have been pretty bad.  No offence to the guys, really....REALLY! So this one guy proposed (actually his mom did), because every thing fit family wise.  Down to the fact that he had the perfect last name and our ancestors used to play gulli danda together.   First thing my dad asked him was what he has studied.  College dropout, but that's okay, because he plans on going back to school very soon.   So my dad asks him what he is doing nowadays.  Dude says he isn't doing anything, but that's okay, because his uncle (by marriage) has offered to teach him his business.   So my mom asks him "beta would you like some tea."  And he says that he doesn't drink tea, coffee, juice, milk, or even water.  But if we have a diet coke, he'll have one.   So my brother asks him if he saw the hockey game the night before.  Dude says he only watches wrestling.   Awkward silence ensues.... Sister says, "sooooo....." and bursts out laughing.... Parents ask me a list of standard questions....I answer them.  His Mom asks me what my favorite color is... ??? His sister refers to me as "bhaabi".....let me remind all of you, this is the very FIRST time I've met the guy...yeah I met the mom and daughter before, but please don't call me BHAABI. Anyhow, because my parents are the politest people I know, they entertain them until we are all emotionally exhausted, and they finally leave. Guy calls next day, asking to speak with me.  Mom: ???   She hands me the phone, and the guy says "You are the smartest person I know.  And you're really nice and everything, but you have to say no.  I know it'll be hard, but I'm in love with someone else." Me: I understand. Seriously, that was so funny.   Okay guys, one more piece of advice...even after you are married, even if this has nothing to do with marriage, you MUST NOT EVER use any hollywood OR bollywood lines on the girl.  None.  Stay quiet, if you must. And that's it. Wasalaam.

Re: Proposals from HELL!
jaihoon
06/03/03 at 07:48:43
[quote author=JustOne link=board=sis;num=1054635235;start=0#1 date=06/03/03 at 07:36:45] [slm] ...and the guy says "You are the smartest person I know.  And you're really nice and everything, but you have to say no.  I know it'll be hard, but I'm in love with someone else." Me: I understand. Seriously, that was so funny.   [/quote] It is equally funny when a girl says the same to the guy.  ::) believe me, i know some who have...

Re: Proposals from HELL!
salaampeaceshalom
06/03/03 at 07:55:54
[slm] This sounds like a cool thread, and i think insha'Allaah sisters will be putting forth many funny stories  :).  But i think we should get the guys to do one as well, that'll be equally interesting me finks  ;) wa'salaam

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Maliha
06/03/03 at 09:19:29
[slm] The one that stands out for me, was when a dude was interested...so my bro tells him to come hang out with his friends (my older bro's filtering process :) they never got to me before they went thru this  ;) ).. Anywho, so they all hang out. Really cool guy, Mashaallah and all. Then when prayer time came, all the guys stood up to pray. And the guy didn't. My bro asked him "errr... are you going to join us?" he says simply "nah..i am okay". Well he never got further than that...really strange...even the really "bad" muslims that don't usually pray would do it, when others are. But i gotta him points for honesty. Oh well... Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm]

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
UmmWafi
06/03/03 at 11:23:04
[slm] I shall spare you all the gory details but the dude met me for like only the second time in his life and told me (in front of me chaperone) that he will ask his mom to seek my hand in marriage "cos I think you can give me good children". My answer :  Sorry I think you got the wrong address.  The baby factory is two blocks down. Ugh.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Al-Basha
06/03/03 at 11:51:53
[slm] Have any bro's had rejections something like this? "No, coz the way the bro talks makes me feel stupid"   ::) Or "No, in 10 years the bro will bald,fat and ugly" Or "No, I won't marry him because he refused to write me love letters"  :P Note these aren't rejections that I've personally had, just a few that I've collected for this potential story I'm working on  :-[

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
theOriginal
06/03/03 at 11:54:27
[slm] ewwwwwwwwww love letters.   I know someone who rejected a guy because he WROTE her a love letter. Mo Powuh to her!

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
siddiqui
06/03/03 at 12:06:21
[slm] A cut n paste job from a thread in the Ikhwan  ;) [quote]ur right.. we should just accept any guy from the masjid who asks at jumuah and marry them  [sarcasm] [/quote] [wlm] :-/

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
sofia
06/03/03 at 15:44:39
As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah Not sure if this qualifies, but was at an iftaar, where apparently, a brother had seen a sister that he'd seen somewhere else and decided that he must give her some information about himself (mind you, it was a "separated" iftaar). So he wrote his "bio-data" on a napkin (yes, *napkin*) to give to her. He gave the napkin to a brother, who gave it to another brother who gave it to his wife, who gave it to a friend, who gave it to me. Somehow, I was the lucky target for that one. I should have kept passing the napkin along or used it to wipe the table so it didn't go to waste (I think I threw it away, embarrassed that it had to pass through so many hands). Brothers: May Allah help you. Asking about a sister via someone else is fine. Even giving information about yourself is fine. But don't send a napkin, and like, expect a sister to be impressed by your occupation, income, your brother's occupation, your brother's income, height, weight, family "status", and your digits. Although I'm sure it works for some...
06/03/03 at 15:46:20
sofia

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
nouha
06/03/03 at 16:09:54
[slm] i remember getting a proposal from a guy who was openly ok with bars/ partying/etc.... its good to be honest but i dont understand how he saw a possibility between us...takin ur hijabi wife to a bar..yea ok!  :P my mother knew someone who was considdering a marriage to a guy who was homeless.... i was like  :o thats just a dangerous one!!! lol... ive gotten a marriage proposal from a five year old.. he came up to me with a flower it was soooo cute.....  :-* needless to say i didnt marry him lol wasalam nouha:)

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
jannah
06/03/03 at 16:17:55
[wlm] oh sofia thank u so much for sharing that i was crying  :-/  that's almost comparable to my freak stories ;) -like the bro who brought some free coffee from a gas station to give to my mother ?! -or the one we asked which masjid he goes to *made up* a masjid -or the one that *paged* me at isna just to see what i looked like -or the guy when i was going to school said i looked so 'beautiful &exotic in that thing and would i like to go to the movies..' -the email ones are the best, esp the one's asking for me to be a second wife and the guys that are 55!? .... this is almost depressing.. pls make dua for me ppl!!

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Moe_D
06/03/03 at 16:38:43
[slm] Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww LOL these proposals are tooooo funnyn!!! how can any guy do stuff like this if they really wana marry the gurl??  Guys neeeeed to smarten uppp if they really wana marry the gurl. but then again if your parents are forcing you to go meet the gurl then its wise to do something like this and make a fool out of your self so u can get rejected!! LOL poor parents they must get embaressed!! this is just too funny!! i wana hear more of these funny stories.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
se7en
06/04/03 at 00:14:05
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, At a wedding I attended last summer, I was up getting a drink after dinner.. and this bro approached me and started talking to me, asking me how I was doing and stuff.. I thought it was kind of odd, because I didn't really know the bro that well.. then, after talking for a few minutes, he asked to take my picture  :o I was like.. uhh.. no thanks.. and he was like.. c'mon, I'm not gonna do anything *bad* with it.. it's just for memory, because I'm graduating.. and so I can show my parents what you look like... :o :o :o Alhamdulillah, my bro walked by at that time.. so I was able to run away  ::)
07/15/03 at 12:20:29
se7en

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
BroHanif
06/04/03 at 04:02:38
Salaams, I find it very hard to believe some of these posts, you sure they are not fiction ?. Salaams Hanif
NS

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
theOriginal
06/04/03 at 04:21:51
[slm] sofia, that was hilarious. A sister I know was proposed to by her TA during a Chemistry lab.    ;D Wasalaam.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Tesseract
06/04/03 at 14:08:31
Assalamu 'alaikum,         [quote]Not sure if this qualifies, but was at an iftaar, where apparently, a brother had seen a sister that he'd seen somewhere else and decided that he must give her some information about himself (mind you, it was a "separated" iftaar). So he wrote his "bio-data" on a napkin (yes, *napkin*) to give to her. He gave the napkin to a brother, who gave it to another brother who gave it to his wife, who gave it to a friend, who gave it to me. Somehow, I was the lucky target for that one. I should have kept passing the napkin along or used it to wipe the table so it didn't go to waste (I think I threw it away, embarrassed that it had to pass through so many hands).  [/quote]              whoa! I thought these weird napkin type proposals are done only back in Pakistan/India. Hmmm..............weird people everywhere, I guess.         [quote]or the one that *paged* me at isna just to see what i looked like [/quote]             How can somebody have ur pager no. at ISNA ???           Anyways, may Allah help u sisters (Ameen). U people really have weird stories.           I think this proposal thing is one place where being a doctor/lawyer really helps. U almost always get good/decent proposals  :) Wassalam.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
jannah
06/04/03 at 14:28:25
[wlm] [quote] I find it very hard to believe some of these posts, you sure they are not fiction ?. [/quote] Umm these are the one's we can post publically ;)  it's not even possible to *make up* this stuff lol [quote]How can somebody have ur pager no. at ISNA [/quote] I don't have a pager.. he went to the msa booth and started asking about me, saying he needed to talk to me about some emergency and so they asked on the walkie-talkie system until someone recognized and found me (msa nat'l prez)... then it was all downhill from there.. and oh yeah he brought his cousin.. neither were registered and asked if i'd like to 'go get some coffee'... blech... needless to say i don't use my real name anywhere online anymore ;)

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
sofia
06/04/03 at 16:42:18
[quote]whoa! I thought these weird napkin type proposals are done only back in Pakistan/India.[/quote] Apparently done in Egypt, too (where the napkin indicated he was from), so that's something else in common. [quote]I find it very hard to believe some of these posts, you sure they are not fiction ?[/quote] I resent the implication that we would or even could make these up. Fiction is *obviously* never as interesting as real-life.   :)
06/04/03 at 16:43:38
sofia

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Ruqayyah
06/04/03 at 17:08:13
[slm] [quote]I think this proposal thing is one place where being a doctor/lawyer really helps. U almost always get good/decent proposals[/quote] Not necessarily. you still get a lot of calls from random people whose sole aim in life is to marry a doctor. If you wear hijab, now THAT's a real deterrant! Says a lot about a person when they hear you're going to be a doctor, but wait, she wears hijab-then, no thanks. [wlm]

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
BroHanif
06/04/03 at 20:34:42
Salaams, Could it be that perhaps some sisters relate to Unbelievable Proposals because they are: too fussy too picky too beautiful i.e. so good looking that bros are scared to marry em for fear of their beauty ? I mean some sisters on this board surely you have such good qualities yet still no marrige... I don't know maybe you sisters should invest in a one way ticket to the UK, I know a few bros who will whisk you off your feet during your interegation(interview). I assure you, you won't be going back home, toooo much of a good thing. Salaams Hanif
NS
06/04/03 at 20:35:42
BroHanif

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
jannah
06/04/03 at 22:46:16
[wlm] After listening to those stories Hanif you think we are too picky???

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
a_Silver_Rose
06/04/03 at 23:23:58
[slm] yup there are some unbelievable people out there. what was thought to be my best proposal ended up being the worst ::) but oh well, will keep 2 myself, insh'Allah [quote]Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww LOL these proposals are tooooo funnyn!!! how can any guy do stuff like this if they really wana marry the gurl??  Guys neeeeed to smarten uppp if they really wana marry the gurl[/quote] what amazes me is that after being all wack the guys actually have the confidence that the girl is actually gonna marry them :o I mean get real! I I hate to say but hopefully a few rejections will bring them to their senses, insh'Allah... [quote]Not necessarily. you still get a lot of calls from random people whose sole aim in life is to marry a doctor.  [/quote] soo true.. I bet my sister has a few stories on that.  I have also seen on the back of those Jummah magazines where they specifically ask for a tall, fair, slim doctor :o Its kind of funny tho  because the girls in pakistan are always complaining how the more educated ones dont get proposals....and here seems to be opposite... [quote]If you wear hijab, now THAT's a real deterrant! Says a lot about a person when they hear you're going to be a doctor, but wait, she wears hijab-then, no thanks. [/quote] now the hijab thing I dont understand. I mean I know even the 'bad' guys will look for a good girl in hijab ::) But this is news to me, I mean what do they wanna do, show their woman off,? do they not like modesty??? yuck. Astagfirullah. The napkin story reminded me a time when I was in Pakistan yrs and yrs back.  It was my chacha's shadi and the camera guys assistant , yes the camera guys assistant kept on  eyeing us during the wedding. WEll after the wedding when we went back to the house he sort of pushed/shoved  me as he passed by and then dropped somthing. I picked it up and it was his number written on the napkin ::) Well I have to admit I did end up having many pictures in the shadi video ;) Picky? I dont know ... I have to admit there are some picky girls out there, bu those girls mostly look for looks and money anyway. Uncle Hanif I know many girls who will say yes after just having one decent proposal. But you see there arent many even 'decent' proposals where the guy has even a little care for his deen.
06/04/03 at 23:25:59
a_Silver_Rose

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
superFOB
06/05/03 at 00:42:19
[slm] Hard to believe that all of these, mashallah, nice sisters didn't get any good proposals.  Why not post some of those 'other' unbelievable' proposals that you refused.  Some reasons: [list][*]I want to study more.[*]I need more time.[*]We are not comptabile.[*]need mr. bean to add more to the list.[/list]
06/05/03 at 01:13:18
superFOB

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
faisalsb
06/05/03 at 04:04:12
[slm] :) It's really funny thread I don't know either I am supposed to post my story here or not but let me do that since it might be interesting to read. It was my very first proposal purely arranged as it's tradition in Pakistan. My family visited them and they visited my family. All sort of information were exchanged and every thing sound to be OK. Since her family was religious and all her family members used to pray regularly. At the end her mother sent a message that they like everything except our house which is not big and fancy enough according to their status so if we can change our house then they can confirm the proposal. Needless to say their request was declined and my family gave up on the proposal. The funniest part of the story is after a year the autie who was playing the middlewoman role came again with a message they are now ready to accept the proposal without any condition ........:)

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Savaira
06/05/03 at 09:24:54
[slm] Oh i just couldn't resist and had to post here. OK, the funniest proposal I had was, my father's friend from long long time ago came over to visit with his family. he has  one son and 3 daughters. The one daughter looked my age and the rest younger. So me being a nice host asked them if they wanted juice or anything to drink. I got the girls some juice and I asked the guy, thinking he is 14 or 15 years old if he wanted some too, and I asked him in such a preschool manner, like I was asking a little kid. Later on my mom and his mom were talking, and my mom says, "oh I remember when you came to my wedding, Faisal(the 14-15 yr old) was only 3, running around. I looked at my mom, and said, but mom I wasnt even born then, and my mom just looked at me in awe and said, noo you weren't born then. And I am like but isnt he only 14 or 15 years old. And she is like, no stupid he is 4 years older then you. And I said, WHAT!! no way he looks only 15. And my mom just gives me this look telling me to shut up, which I did not get, and I keep going, but he looks soo little! I felt sooo stupid later on when I found out they proposed, his mom was sitting there the whole time. I have some more, which I will post later on inshaAllah, I hope to hear more of these from other sisters. [wlm] Oh just to add, we didn't accept the proposal because the guy wanted to study in USA and that seemed like the only reason they proposed. The father even mentioned it a couple of times how expensive it is for someone without a greencard or citizenship to study in USA. Anyways...

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Barr
06/05/03 at 09:45:59
[slm] warahmatullah... :(*sniff*:( :(*sniff*:( :(*sniff*:( I've never had a proposal from Hell!  :'( :'( :'( ~~Boring Barr~~
06/05/03 at 09:49:28
Barr

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Shahida
06/05/03 at 09:50:32
[quote author=Barr link=board=sis;num=1054635235;start=15#27 date=06/05/03 at 09:45:59] [slm] warahmatullah... *sniff* *sniff* *sniff* I've never had a proposal from Hell!  :'( :'( :'( ~~Boring Barr~~[/quote] [slm] sis! How lucky you are, mashaAllah!  Believe me, I feel rather "scarred for life" by these experiences, and would rather have done without them!  They just totally made me loose faith in the Muslim men around here, sub7anAllah... Cheer up, no sniffing in here...your proposals will ALL be from Heaven, and the guys will all be the BEST, inshaAllah, cuz you're the BEST and deserve the like! :) Salamat Shahida

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Fozia
06/05/03 at 09:54:55
[quote author=Barr link=board=sis;num=1054635235;start=15#27 date=06/05/03 at 09:45:59] [slm] warahmatullah... :(*sniff*:( :(*sniff*:( :(*sniff*:( I've never had a proposal from Hell!  :'( :'( :'( ~~Boring Barr~~[/quote] [slm] Re-read the posts again sister Barr and then perform nafl rakat for thanks that you haven't been on the receiving end of these  :P

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Maliha
06/05/03 at 10:07:35
[quote author=Barr link=board=sis;num=1054635235;start=15#27 date=06/05/03 at 09:45:59] [slm] warahmatullah... :(*sniff*:( :(*sniff*:( :(*sniff*:( I've never had a proposal from Hell!  :'( :'( :'( ~~Boring Barr~~[/quote] [slm] my boring sister Barrella  :-* You know i love you and all...but I have one word for you: BRAT  :P Okay i'm done:) Sis, Whose name we shall not mention 8) [wlm]

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Nomi
06/05/03 at 12:07:11
[slm] [quote] It was my chacha's shadi and the camera guys assistant , yes the camera guys assistant kept on  eyeing us during the wedding. WEll after the wedding when we went back to the house he sort of pushed/shoved  me as he passed by and then dropped somthing. I picked it up and it was his number written on the napkin [/quote] That reminds me of a video cassette that a friend of mine once talked about, it was titled "mujra" of shareef families with this collection of many dances of different functions and no, i dint check it out alhamdolillah. Sorry just had to spit it out coz i once had a friend who was a camera guy and you ppl dont wanna know what sort of comments they pass about ladies and their figures while editing those wedding/function movies Asim Zafar PS: After realizing this, i started sharing it with all my friends and i put it like this "the bodies of my female relatives are not to be scrutinized by cameramen"
06/05/03 at 13:31:50
Nomi

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Rameeza
06/05/03 at 20:34:52
[slm] These are funny. Sister Ruqayyah. I have to agree on the Hijaab-is-a-big-no-no-when-trying to-get-married part. During my pre-hijaab days it was almost impossible to dodge all the proposals. But now its different. Its like "awe great she is in Biotech! mm ahem would she be willing to take off the hijaab after marriage?" Sheesh! I could not believe it! Oh and by the way, the people who wanted it to be taken off, were from ENGLAND! So all you sisters who were thinking of  "investing  in a one way ticket to the UK", for a few "bros who will whisk you off your feet during your interegation(interview).",  I assure you, you would be rushing back over to keep your hijaabs on!    ;D This ofcourse makes you realize that there are as many bros who are mentally challenged on this side of the ocean as there are on the otherside. ;) Why waste your breath. STick with the good ole US of A and meet them here. [] [] [] Second hijaab case was, when I was asked by a born muslim bro if I would give him a 5min unveiled veiwing session! The question alone was good enough to sacrifice THAT proposal.  Oh and he also went a little further in finding out my thoughts on fidelity. mm have to say that it was not a good sign. Could already see me having this discussion, again, when he hit his mid-life crisis. But i have to say that most of the proposals have been a failure due to a bit of a problem on my part. I have a very low boredom threshold and I feel my mind wondering after the first few minuites of meeting the guy.  Sorry to have to say this but, the only muslim men I meet who are interesting, and not related to me by blood are old men. heh heh heh [mm not in THAT way] I just love old people so I never get bored with em. Which reminds me that we had a family come over for a chat and my dad asked what I thought and I said,  "The Dad is really cool, I like him", to which my dad said, "Does that mean the son's good?".  I did not know, cause I barely noticed the guy. Its not like he spoke up. Not really my fault, right?  :-/ My cousins have advised that if I fail to marry in the next couple of years I should not lose heart, since our twice-removed grand-uncle is unmarried and hitting 80 and would be an ideal candidate for me, by then. Well... he always calls me "sunshine"  ;D But I just can't make myself think of him that way.  :(

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Moe_D
06/05/03 at 22:43:59
[slm] You guys have to be joking about the Hijab thing. i mean, im a guy i would prefer hijab wearing gurl over non hijab wearing gurl anyday. this is one of the craziest things ive ever hered! i thought all guys would prefer a modest gurl! i duno for some reason i do have a feeling that it would be harder to marry a hijabi gurl then a non hijabi gurl  ??? maybe its cuz i think u have to be reallly religious to marry a hijabi gurl then again i duno thats what i think.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Ankabut
06/08/03 at 17:40:26
[slm] Strange I should read this topic after I just had this conversation with my mum   :) guess it's not really about being picky but about finding one with whose religion and character you're happy with, and as Sis Rameeza mentioned someone whose conversation 'means' something to you  ;) I am not quite sure how these bros find their way to my door and may Allaah bless them with good spouses in shaa Allaah. There was this one bro. who knew that I wore niqab but had the assumption that once I was married I'd remove the niqab, as sisters mentioned re: hijab. Also, one bro. actually asked whether he and his married friends could pick me up during our 'engagement' period so that we might get better acquainted  :o. I guess to sum up some of my experiences, there has been little compatibility. In shaa Allaah, what Allaah decreed will come to pass so one must excercise a lot of patience and become adept at swallowing tea  ::) May Allaah bless us all with good spouses who will be of benefit for our dunya and aakhirah in shaa Allaah. [wlm] Ankabut   :)

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Tafakkur
06/09/03 at 08:59:00
[slm] Maybe us sisters should get together and compile a book on how *not* to propose!   Heres one that happened a few months ago..   My sister and I were in slow moving traffic in a car, with the windows rolled down..  I had my head down, reading a magazine, and enjoying the nice weather  ;D , when suddenly I heard my sister give a short panicked yelp.   I looked up and saw her turning her face towards me, with a shocked horror look on her face.   She kept on saying OMG i cant believe this, what the heck!; and it was only when i looked over her shoulder that I realised what exactly she was on about.   There were some muslim guys in a car beside ours, with the guy closest to us sticking his arm out trying to hand my sister his mobile  :o  He pointed, saying mashaAllah, please give me your number, its for marriage!  ::) What is worse, is that they were holding up the traffic for a good while by not moving their car, because they were wierdly expecting someone to actually take the fone and GIVE them a number  ::) Needless to say, my sister drove out of the traffic as fast as she could! I have to say, though, maybe the guy deserved brownie points because he asked in a *very* polite manner..  I mean, he said please like 10 times :\\
06/09/03 at 09:00:58
Tafakkur

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
UmmHurrairah
06/09/03 at 10:31:45
[slm] :-* :D :D :D It's morning here.. and everyone's stories is great.... :D :D :D Thanks for making me laugh..hehe.  :-/ [wlm]  :-)

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
AyeshaZ
06/09/03 at 15:05:40
[wlm] ;D Well, i have 3 older sisters sooooo I've seen some crazy things!!! The most recent one was funny the dude and his father came over.. the father was wearing suchhhh a hugggeee gold ring and had the nerve to call my sister a "Taliban" cuz she was wearing hijab!!!  ::) haha napkins, cell phones, made up masjids!!! this is crazy!!!!

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Shakira
06/18/03 at 07:18:21
[color=Purple][/color] [slm] brothers & sistas proposals  ??? very very  :'( here in south africa Before the guy even gets to meet you his familys informing you that u will have lots of money to spend and that u will have lotsa "security". Then u meet him and he hardly even says two words to u bcoz his mother/fathers doing all the talking,about the previous proposals and "how pretty the other girls were"!! And I am sitting there feeling so awkward  ::)the feelings inexplicable :o Is that the single most important quality in a sista?? :( Beauty and money are Material value and to me very insignificant.... :P What about piety..akhlaak...morals..respect?? I just pray to Allah SWT daily that I find a pious partner...and surely if that is ok then everything else will fall into place and the marriage will bear lotsa fruit!!!

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
bismilla
06/19/03 at 08:50:09
[quote author=Shakira link=board=sis;num=1054635235;start=30#37 date=06/18/03 at 07:18:21] What about piety..akhlaak...morals..respect?? I just pray to Allah SWT daily that I find a pious partner...and surely if that is ok then everything else will fall into place and the marriage will bear lotsa fruit!!! [/quote] [slm] Sis and Ameen to your Duahs :-) i hope that one of the things that comes out of this entire "soul baring"  :-) is that the single gentleman (on this Board) become more aware of how the Ladies view proposals, Insha Allah. I am SO glad i am WAY over this stage....seems to be just as hectic now as it was then LOL :-/

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Shahida
06/20/03 at 07:46:06
[slm] :) So, I figured I haven't slept in about 43 hours, so this is NOT *the* perfect time to share some of my horror stories with yall:)  (hope all those who have been BUGGING me, will be be a bit more patient isA::), ;) ) As for this quick post, firstly, I pray that Allah swt makes things easy for all the sisters and brothers.  And ameen to everyone's Duaas! Secondly let me say that I know it is a stressful experience to have these proposals, but Allah kareem you know?  And no matter how bad the guy ends up being, just remember that Alhamdulillah, at least you didnt end up MARRYING him!!  :) Promise to fulfil my end of the bargain sooooon!  have a Psychiatry exam on Monday, please all make Duaa for me? Salamat Shahida :-)

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Lil_Sista
06/21/03 at 02:30:33
[slm] :-)) :-)) :-))  very very funny! well some of those bros who proposed u sistas seem'creepy'.well alhamdulillah that u didnt end up with marriage as i can see that they are really really 'bad'.astagfirullah!i mean,how come they....??? ??? i dont have any funny stories anyway but.................................................. i was engaged to a bosnian bro.he was such a good one.i was happy at that time but in the end,we had to break our engagement'coz of his parents :(  perhaps he wasnt the one for me. im ok now  ;) well,sistas........hopefully,we'll have righteous ones in the future,ameen. k,waitin 4 other funny stories.... ;) peace out! Ki Ki

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Anonymous
06/22/03 at 08:09:50
My friend came from a very non-practicing family.  When she reached adulthood, she started making a serious effort to be more religious.  This included daily Qur'an lessons from her neighbor's children's Maulana.  (This was in Pakistan) Anyway, the day she finished reading the Qur'an, and obviously decided that she had no need for the Maulana's help anymore, he proposed to her.   Unbelievable!

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Yasmeena
06/24/03 at 19:17:35
[slm] Would you believe 2 marriage proposals within 1 hour of performing my shahaddah ??? ???  And I was wearing a diamond/wedding ring set at the time ??? ??? [wlm]

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
jannah
06/24/03 at 19:38:06
[wlm] here's a non-sequitur.... do muslims that are 'looking' look at whether the girl or guy wears a wedding ring? cause i noticed recently that some muslim girls do notice when the guy is wearing a ring and know they are off limits ;) but as a general pracitice i don't think muslim guys wear wedding bands although the girls do, so for the one's who do why wear it??

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
muahmed
06/24/03 at 19:50:02
[slm] ;-) "a wedding ring" means the guy has 3 open slots, so sisters dont have to think they are off limits.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Nisa
06/27/03 at 10:26:30
[slm] LOL akhi.....subhanAllah. Ameen to all the duas  :) Some of the stories are pretty shocking...I mean there is an etiquette when looking for a marriage partner, and alhamdulillah Islam being a way of life, we have the guidelines in the Sunnah and the stories of the Companions....inshaAllah I'd like to share my favorite one with you all. May Allah swt bless us all with pious, righteous and God-fearing partners, Ameen! Julaybib (ra) - A Short Biography His name was unusual and incomplete. Julaybib (ra) means "small grown". It is the diminutive form of the word "Jalbab". The name is an indication that Julaybib (ra) was small and short. More than that, he is described as being "damam" which means ugly, deformed, or of repulsive appearance. Even more disturbing, for the society in which he lived, Julaybib's lineage was not known. There is no record of who his mother and father were, or to what tribe he belonged. This was considered a serious disability in his society. Julaybib (ra) could not expect any compassion, protection, or support from a society that placed a great deal of importance on family and tribal connections. In this regard, all that was known of him was that he was an Arab and that, as far as the new community of Islam was concerned, he was one of the Ansar. He was shunned in his society. As an example, Abu Barzah, of the Aslam tribe, prohibited him from entering his home, and he told his wife: "Do not let Julaybib (ra) enter among you. If he does, I shall certainly do something terrible to him." Was there any hope for Julaybib (ra) to be treated with respect and consideration? Was there any hope for him to find emotional satisfaction as an individual and as a man? Was there any hope for him to enjoy the relationships which others take for granted? And in the new society emerging under the guidance of the Prophet (saw), was he so insignificant as to be overlooked in the preoccupation with the great affairs of state and in the supreme issues of life and survival which constantly engaged the attention of the Prophet (saw)? Just as he was aware of the great issues of life and destiny, the Prophet (saw), who is mercy for all humanity, was also aware of the needs and feelings of his most humble companions. With Julaybib (ra) in mind, the Prophet (saw) went to one of the Ansar and said: I want to have your daughter married. "How wonderful and blessed, O Messenger of Allah, and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," replied the Ansari man with obvious joy and happiness. I do not want her for myself, added the Prophet (saw). "Then for whom, O Messenger of Allah?" asked the man, obviously somewhat let down. For Julaybib , said the Prophet (saw). The Ansari must have been too shocked to give his own reaction so he replied: "I will consult with her mother." And off he went to his wife. "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah (swt) bestow peace and blessings upon him, wants to have your daughter married", he told his wife. She was thrilled. "What a wonderful idea and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," she said. "He does not want to marry her himself, but he wants to marry her to Julaybib (ra)," he added. She was flabbergasted! "To Julaybib? No, never to Julaybib! No, by the Living Allah, we shall not marry (her) to him." she protested. As the Ansari was about to return to the Prophet (saw) to inform him of what his wife had said, the daughter, who had heard her mother's protestations, asked: "Who has asked to marry me?" Her mother told her of the Prophet's request to marry her to Julaybib (ra). When she heard that the request had come from the Prophet (saw), and that her mother was absolutely opposed to the idea, she was greatly perturbed and said: "Do you refuse the request of the Messenger of Allah ? Send me to him, for he shall certainly not bring ruin to me." This was the reply of a truly great person who had a clear understanding of what was required of her as a Muslim. What greater satisfaction and fulfillment can a Muslim find than in responding willingly to the requests and commands of the Messenger of Allah ! Truly, this companion of the Prophet (saw), even though we do not know her name, set an example for all of us to obey the Quranic command: Whenever Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, it is not for a believing man or woman to claim freedom of choice in so far as this matter is concerned. And he who disobeys Allah and His Messenger (saw) has, most obviously, gone astray. [Al-Ahzab 33:36] This was revealed in connection with the marriage of Zaynab bint Jahsh and Zayd bin Harithah, which was arranged by the Prophet (saw) to show the egalitarian spirit of Islam. Zaynab, at first, was highly offended at the thought of marrying Zayd, a former slave, and refused to marry him. The Prophet (saw) prevailed upon them both and they were married. The marriage however ended in divorce and Zaynab was eventually married to the Prophet (saw) himself. It is said that the Ansari girl read the verse to her parents and said: "I am satisfied, and submit myself to whatever Allah's Messenger (saw) deems good for me." The Prophet (saw) heard of her reaction and prayed for her: O Lord, bestow good on her in abundance and make not her life one of toil and trouble. It is said that among the Ansar, there was not a more eligible bride than her. She was married by the Prophet (saw) to Julaybib (saw), and they lived together until he was killed. He went on an expedition with the Prophet (saw), and an encounter with some mushrikin ensued. When the battle was over, the Prophet (saw) asked his companions: Have you lost anyone? They named their relatives or close friends who were killed. Another group answered that they had lost no close relative whereupon the Prophet (saw) said: But I have lost Julaybib. Search for him in the battlefield. They searched and found him beside seven mushrikin whom he had struck before meeting his end. The Prophet (saw) stood up and went to the spot where Julaybib (ra), his short and deformed companion, lay. The Prophet of Allah stood over him and said: He killed seven and then was killed? This man is of me and I am of him. He repeated this two or three times. The Prophet (saw) then took him in his arms and it is said that he had no better bed besides the forearms of the Messenger of Allah. The Prophet (saw) then dug for him a grave, and himself placed him in it. The Prophet of Allah did not wash him, for the one slain in the Way of Allah is not washed before burial. Julaybib (ra) and his wife are not among the companions of the Prophet (saw) whose deeds of obedience and valor are well known. The little that is known about them demonstrates how the meek and the humble were given hope and dignity by the Prophet (saw) - where once there was only despair and self-debasement. The attitude of the unknown and unnamed Ansari girl, who readily agreed to be the wife of a physically unattractive man, reflected a profound understanding of Islam. It reflected the effacement of personal desires and preferences, even when she could have counted on the support of her parents. It reflected a total disregard for social norms and pressures. It reflected, above all, a ready and unshakable confidence in the wisdom and authority of the Prophet (saw) in submitting herself to whatever he deemed good. This is indeed the attitude of the true believer. In Julaybib (ra), there is the example of a person who was regarded as a social outcast because of his mere appearance. Given confidence by his faith in Allah, the Glorious, and encouragement by the noble Prophet (saw), he was able to perform great acts of courage and was blessed by the most virtuous death a believer could ever hope for - death fighting in the Way of Allah, the Supreme. This led to the commendation which should be the desire of every believer: the commendation of the Prophet (saw) of Allah: He is of me, and I am of him.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
AyeshaZ
06/27/03 at 14:32:47
[quote author=Muhammad Ahmed link=board=sis;num=1054635235;start=30#44 date=06/24/03 at 19:50:02] [slm] ;-) "a wedding ring" means the guy has 3 open slots, so sisters dont have to think they are off limits. [/quote] LOL  :-/

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
theOriginal
07/10/03 at 06:19:08
[slm] ROFL :-/  :-/  :-/  :-/  :-/ Sis Shahida....OMG!!!! Okay that was like so incredibly funny.  And I wasn't planning on ever visiting this thread again.....it's reached it's expiry date as far as I'm concerned.....BUT OMG!!! hahahahahahaahahahahahaahaha Okay that needs to be FRAMED.  With your permission, can I send it to my friends?  We'll call it "Brownie points." btw:  ::) .... the color is so apt.   Wasalaam.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Shahida
07/10/03 at 07:24:12
[wlm] sis! Sure, "browny points" is all yours...wish I could make the memories evaporate by sending them to ya;) I just HAD to share one more proposal, one of the *best* by far... By the time this guy came to propose, I had been through several tough proposals, I thought I was ready for *anything*..never ever say that, you will be sooo proven wrong... Anyway, he came with the uncle from next door, as his parents were "not available" [i] sign #1[/i]. Everything was going really well, he was educated and spoke well, didnt do anything overly offensive and he even had a sense of humour;)  But when someone asked a question about his family, he said his parents died a few years before...the uncle's expression was  :o.[i] sign #2[/i]  The uncle didnt say anything though...then we asked about siblings, and he said he was an only child...wherupon the uncle said "no no so-and-so, what about your brother Asim?" ROFL i could've just died of laughter ;D Talk about being caught out! :P  I then asked if he had forgotten about his parents too, and sub7anAllah, the uncle says, his mom lives in a suburb not far from here! ::) My mother was ready to ask all both of them to leave...but I just couldnt believe this guy...my uncle asked if he was married before (he told us he was 26, lol, he looked 35) and he was about to say "nnnhhooo", when the uncle slapped him on the leg and said "Oh for God's sake, tell the truth for once!"... ::) :P His excuse was that he didnt want this uncle to tell the whole neighbourhood about him and his family...this ticked the uncle off, and the two of them proceeded to have a rather involved verbal exchange, while my family kindly escourted them out of the house.  We could still hear them fighting all the way round the house and into the neighbour's yard... Gosh, we laughed so much after that, but it was sooo sad to think about what had just transpired  :'( Pray all you girls never have to go through so many awful stinky frogs before the Prince  ;-) arrives.  May Allah make it easy for us, and forgive us. Salam Shahida :-)  have a bebsi, it could always have been worse  []

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
theOriginal
07/10/03 at 07:45:40
[slm] LOL! Sister, are you married?  If not, I pray that Allah swt has a reeeeally good brother in store for you, inshaAllah. Anyone who has gone through that...wow. Wasalaam.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Tesseract
07/10/03 at 16:30:19
Assalamu 'alaikum,            [quote]The first proposal I received was at age 13    I was still in school of course, and didn't even *think* about boys, nevermind about marrying one.  He had seen me 4 years before then (aged 9  psycho )when he visited his cousins who lived up my street.  Anyway, he was 24 (an old man in my book, a psycho old man) just completed his studies in Civil Engineering and got a good job in Canada.  He wanted me to go with him, and without even consulting my family, his whole family came over the next weekend.  It was Ramadaan.  They came to propose after Iftaar.  I was     all at once. *helloooo?? whats wrong with this picture??* Firstly, don't come to peoples' homes without announcing your intentions first.  Secondly, don't come with such business after Iftaar, when people are getting ready to go for Taraweeh.  Thirdly, don't assume just cuz you're a major engineer now, that a girl would give everything up to move with you halfway across the earth!  Fourthly, don't even think about asking someone to give up their education, i mean really, what does a 13 year old know about life?  Could barely read and write back then   I really thought they could not possibly be serious!!   My family was like   as well...anyway, the reason I am not an illiterate living in Canada, is that i prayed Istikhara, and decided not to marry him. [/quote]               This is kinda funny. Being aware of the fact that it wasn't a possibility anyway, u still considered that proposal and prayed istikhara  ??? or, am I missing something here?

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Shahida
07/11/03 at 01:54:38
[slm] @sis JustOne I am not married, yet...not *looking* either, which makes all these proposals kinda useless at the moment.  The *word* has never been sent out that I am ready to receive proposals, but they arrive anyway.  ::) Ameen ya Rabbi, to your Duaa:) thanks sis:) Wish you the same:) @Bro Bulwark Well, I had no idea what to do, and my family was like totally against it, but I was confused, cuz I thought *maybe* I could still go to school there etc etc (what did I know at 13?? lol)...so I did what I always do, and prayed to Allah swt for guidance, and the guidance came, alhamdulillah... there you have it.  Even if you think something is *not* gonna work, it is always wise to ask for guidance from the One who knows what is best for you...:) Salam Shahida :-)

When Jerks Propose...
Barr
07/11/03 at 02:06:05
Assalamu'alaikum :-) [quote]Now Barr, aren't you happy you haven't had any of *these* types come round to your house? alhamdulillah... [/quote] Aww, sis... I'm just messing  ;) Alhamdulillah, 'ala kulli hal
07/11/03 at 02:07:37
Barr

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
UmmZaid
07/12/03 at 01:37:38
[slm] 1.  "After we marry, I'm going to nail the windows shut and have locks installed from the outside so I can lock you in the house just like my sister's husband does." "What about if there is a fire or an emergency with the kids and I have to call 911?" "Er.... I didn't think about that." "Clearly." 2.  (After 15 minutes of talking...)"And how old are you?" "48." "You're my father's age... you're twice my age." "Yeesssss."  "Uh, are you married?" "Yes." "Do you have kids?" "Yes." [silence] "You will be my second wife." (Nothing like telling me this up front, eh?) "You're my dad's age." [Afterwards, the imam's son told me I was a "fool" and everyone was talking about me b/c this man was rich and lives in Makkah. "Just wait for him to die, and then you'll be rich too!"] 3.  "Wanna go out for dinner? Alone?" ::: exhaling cigarette smoke ::: 4.  "I have four sons, their mother ran out, oh, and a green card would be nice." "Gee, overnight mother to five children, four of whom speak a different language than I do... and what are you getting out of this deal?" 5.  "Marry my husband and we'll all move to Mexico or El Salvador together and do da'wa in the rural countryside." 6.  "How many times a day do you pray? Five?" "La." "Four?" "La." "Three?" "La." "TWO?" "La." (pause) "Sifr?" "NA'AM!" (big cheese eating grin...before he tells me). "I have many girlfriends. Americans. I do bad things with them! I go to bars!" (he blushes and has maniacal grin on his face.... then he says) "By the way, if you disobey me, I will beat you. And if you do it a second time, I will kill you.... wanna make kitab today? Let's do it right now!" "Salaam 'Alaikum." [This guy got my # from the imam and harassed me for weeks...the imam was mad at me for not marrying him b/c he's "from a rich family in such and such city!" Needless to say, I never returned to that imam whenever he told me about "a good brother I have for you!"] [Naturally, I strongly suspect this brother was sniffing too many of the paint fumes from his job as a contractor] 7.  Miscellaneously, there were all the guys with first wives already (who always had to "keep this on the down low" or something like that), the guys who wanted to move to the Afghan countryside and live the 7th Century lifestyle so we could be more "pure" Muslims, the guys without beards, the ones who wore tight jeans, the ones who wanted a green card and were willing to pay a whopping  $1,000 for it (but "had" to marry a Muslim for this sham).

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
jannah
07/12/03 at 01:51:55
[wlm] wow ummzaid are those real??? i only got those messed up one's via email not in real life!!! in fact recently i decided i could compile a best-selling humor book with all of them and started saving them to a freak folder that is quite hilarious... barr can tell u about it she read some when she was here ;)

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Sumeya_Nurshuheda
07/15/03 at 11:42:09
salam alaykum! sis Shahida, I hope you dont mind me giving you advice...I see you have had  sooo many proposals, muslim men coming to your house without you even knowing anything about them...like that guy whom you couldnt communicate with who couldnt speak english.  Well it would be much better to find out more info about a brother BEFORE you agree for them to come to your house and meet face to face. ..no wonder you have such a terrible experience when u sat down with people you barely knew anytign about....who ever is recomending you a bro or wants to introduce him to you ask the questions whic are important for tou, that is your criterias...like I did before i'd meet someone face to face...the first questions i used to ask was about his deen and character, secondly his nationality (as i prefered my own nat.) and then his height! ;)   as I always wnated a tallet guy than me and since im quite tall i could never imagined myself with smaller men....alhamdulillah i found someone who satisfied all that criteria :)    I hope you know what I'm trying to say in relation to finding out more about the person before  the actula meeting...i cant imagine meeting every single person every time someone recomended me a bro ..it must be too exausting!

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Trustworthy
07/15/03 at 13:22:52
[slm] Ya Rub!!!!  I'm at work and stumbled onto this thread and said "Hmm..interesting."  Then rolling on the floor laughing so hard cause I know what you all mean.  Ppl are walking by like "What's so funny?" "Just reading emails." I'll share this one since it hasn't been told yet. Family and I went ot California to marry bro off.  We stayed at a relative's house and we (cousin and me) were left alone since everyone was busy with stuff.  Everyone knew that so as to not get unallowable visitors if you get my drift.  Anyways, we were 14 yrs old and this guy comes waltzing thru the door and my cousin and I ran for cover (didn't have hijabs on).  Doors are left unlocked cause the apt complex was all family, no need. Anyways, he just grins and lays himself on the couch.  I come out and was like...uh...who are you?  He said, your uncle (genetically-distant cousin) because he was older by a decade.  He said, don't worry.  This is my grandma's house.  So we said ok and went into the bedroom to play. As we were leaving outside the complex.  He runs towards us.  He gave me an envelope and my cousin one too.   Then he ran off.  We opened them up and found a wopping $20.00 in them.  I was like, Mom look that guy just gave us 20 bucks.  She said you know what that's for right?  No.  He gace you money because he's asking your hand in marraige. "AUGHHHHH!!!!!!!"  So I said to my cousin, "Here you can have my 20."  She said, no you have my 20.  I looked at the 40 bucks and said, ok.  But can I still say no.  Mom was like yes.  SO then my cousin said, give me back my twenty. Now this was after a biiter break up engagement of a previous fiance.  I say fiance because there was a ring invloved which I leave for another day.  But to finish this story.  My cousin was laready engaged to someone and so we asked why did she get a 20.  Mom said, he was being polite.  Oh.  Then years came and went, and I never heard of him again. I meet him later in life and he was married with a son.  Mom and him got talking and I just stood on the sidelines.  I asked what they talked baout and she said, we're in good terms now.  He didn't talk to me for 2 years because I turned him down for you.  Talk about holding a grudge. Ma-asalaama....

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Trustworthy
07/15/03 at 14:28:40
[slm] Ya Rub!!!!  Speaking of proposals.  You all know I have an 8 yr old daughter.  Well when she was 6 yrs old, I'm not kidding you, this neighborhood boy (20 yrs old), I know him and his family well.  Came up to me while I was walking home from the Masjid and says, "Auntie?  Will you save (daughter's name) for me?  I promise to go and study Islam and become a good Muslim, quite smoking, and have a great job.  Please!!!!  I promise.  Wallahi, Yaseen.  I will." I looked at him and said, "Look at me.  My daughter is off limits until I feel it's the right time.  And frankly, this is the worst time ever.  She's only six and you're proposing already?  What's wrong with you thinking about a 6 yr old girl that way?  But if you say you're going to be all that then we'll have to see.  I don't make promises.  My daughter is not me." SO I have a chance? he asked.  I said, "Look at me.  Don't push it.  You're starting to freak me out boy.  My husband hears about this and he will beat you like he beats on the car." She's had 3 proposals so far and 2 were actually from parents themsleves.  And she's only 8.  The parents were like...save your daughter for my son.  One parent  said....uh...you don't have a son.  They said, we will later in life. I don't get it? Marraige is the last thing on my mind for my girl. Ma-asalaama.....

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Tesseract
07/15/03 at 18:07:54
Assalamu 'alaikum,           [quote]As we were leaving outside the complex.  He runs towards us.  He gave me an envelope and my cousin one too.   Then he ran off.  We opened them up and found a wopping $20.00 in them.  I was like, Mom look that guy just gave us 20 bucks.  She said you know what that's for right?  No.  He gace you money because he's asking your hand in marraige. "AUGHHHHH!!!!!!!"  [/quote]                  What a cheap way of proposing  >:(  >:(. I am assuming its a cultural thing, because ur mom knew what he meant although he didn't say anything.

Re: Unbelievable Proposals !
Trustworthy
07/15/03 at 18:59:37
[slm] Sorry.  I should've told the whole story.  He asked my Mom after he came over to take a peak and mom did not give him an answer so he was trying to play "nice guy". At first I thought it was my dowry after Mom said that....then I was like Please don't let it be.  But it wasn't because my cousin got one too. But proposals came to me when I was 9 yrs old.  One even came to stay at our house for a few days.  He was studying Islam in Egypt and heard I was available so he flew all the way down without telling Mom his true intentions.  He said he wanted to visit my bro.  He came and asked and Mom said No.  He was like 30 yrs old, man.  Plus didn't know much English and I didn't know Arabic. Mom mentioned this years after.   Anyways I've had dozens since I was 9 and Mom only started asking when I turned 11...when she talked to me about Islam and marraige and women duties, etc.  I rejected all of them.  Until one day at 13, I caved in and said FINE!!!  (Since I gave my mom a hard time trying to meet the guy and then gave him and his family a hard time for asking)  But I said yes with conditions. 1.  Since we don't speak the same language, he has to learn English and I'll try to learn our native language. 2.  Since he is a guy from back home (just came back to live with his mom in CA), he needs to learn the tricks of the trades here since he will need to be the provider. 3.  Since I'm only 13, he'll have to wait til after I graduate from HS to get married. 4.  Since it will be 3-4 yrs til we marry, we need to write back in forth (when he learns English) so we can get to know each other. 5.  He has to promise that I will continue on my education into college until I get my degree in Medicine. 6.  As a dowry, I want a house (2 stories), 2 cars (his and hers), you (mom) have to live with us, and his support for life.  Then I will be a good loving and faithful Muslim wife to him. I tried to make it as difficult as possible.  She gave him those conditions, and the man accpeted and said by the time we marry, you will have all those and more.  He wrote letters to me, Uncle translated since I didn't know how to read it for 9 months.  He bought me a ring, beautiful clothes and silk materials and hijabs.  I actually started liking the guy.  Then one day, Mom gets a call from his Uncle and broke it off.   I never saw my Mom so mad in her life.  I did awful things to make her mad, but boy this topped it all off.  I didn't know what happened cause after the phone call she ran straight down stairs to talk with her bro and my Aunt.  Course I followed. I said, what happened.  She was like cursing in our language and said he had the nerve to break it off.  How dare he on what, your brother's reputation.   Yeap, appearantly, he didn't mind my reputation but minded my brothers for being divorced twice.   :D  I thought that was so funny.  And I was sure glad I didn't have to marry him.  It took a week to calm my Mom down and my brother apologized to the both of us, but it was never his fault.  The guy was an idiot.  WOOHOO for idiots!!! Allahu ALim....so I was once engaged at 13.   Ma-asalaama.....
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