A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Yousef |
| 06/03/03 at 15:47:46 |
| [slm] PDA, as its called around here. What abuot DA? I'm still struggling, newly married. And I do love my wife, but I just can't spit it out. Brothers who are married! help me out, it really feels terrible |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Ameeraana |
| 06/03/03 at 21:13:33 |
| [slm] If you can't verbally express it too good, you could always do the safer thing, by doing things that express your feelings. Like little surprise presents/cards here and there--when there are not special occasions. Leave a litte card by her pillow that says something sweet that she will pick up when you are maybe off at work so you won't be too embarrassed/shy about it. Little things that make her smile. :) Ameera |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Yousef |
| 06/04/03 at 00:45:12 |
| That's one big part of the problem, what do you consider 'sweet'? Or rather, what do females in general consider sweet and nice? I have no clue |
| 06/04/03 at 00:48:20 |
| Yousef |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| faisalsb |
| 06/04/03 at 07:16:41 |
| [slm] Well it's very simple brother praise her for all those qualities what she doesn't have and you would see how it works .....:) |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Maliha |
| 06/04/03 at 07:56:26 |
| [quote author=Faisal Siddique link=board=bro;num=1054666068;start=0#3 date=06/04/03 at 07:16:41] [slm] Well it's very simple brother praise her for all those qualities what she doesn't have and you would see how it works .....:)[/quote] [slm] hmmm.... very Funny Faisal ::) how about focusing on the all the good qualities she *does* have. What are the kind of things your wife likes to do in her free time? Like some girls are outdoorsy, so you can take her to the park and go for a walk...somewhere by a lake or river....to watch the sun set...and do Maghrib together while the birds fly back to their nests :) or if she likes perfumes/makeup/etc...you can buy her nice bottle of musk, and other nick nacks from *insert any store*...Get your sister or momz to help you with this :) and surprise her, by putting it on her dressing table (wrapped w/ a card saying how much you adore her :-* ) If she likes to hang out with her sisters/friends, have your sis arrange a surprise get together for her..and let her *chillax as long as she wants 8) Cook something nice for her ;) If you are hopeless in the kitchen, even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich arranged nicely, with fruit, Juice, etc. Put some nice candles up, and have a warm, intimate dinner feeding each other sandwiches ;D It really depends..you know your wife best...just figure out the things she likes and you don't have to spend much money...do the little things to make her smile :) Mashaallah women tend to be *really* appreciative :) So a little gesture from you, will go a looong way in lighting up her heart :) May Allah make your relationship stronger, and fine tune your sense of DA's :) Amin:) good luck bro :) Ze Mystique :-) [i] *chilax: term borrowed from Shaykhul slang's dictionary 8) derivative of verbs chiling and relaxing..combined in an "urban" manner and juxtaposed to form the cool chilax word 8) [/i] [wlm] |
| 06/04/03 at 07:58:40 |
| Maliha |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Maliha |
| 06/04/03 at 08:03:43 |
| [slm] I wanted to bring in Bro Hanif's advice from the other thread..Mashaallah really nice :) [quote] Why, become like the prophet of Allah [saw] and display affection within the guidelines of Islam. Couple of things we do as family, Eat together from the same plate, Drink from the same cup. Laugh, sit and joke together everyday for at least an hour. Apart from work, mosque(dawah) and training we stick together everywhere, PDA is respected and Anti-PDA. Sometimes one needs to adjust for the sake of Allah. For example, if your wife is expecting and she's feeling sicky best thing that you can do is hold her arm and be supportive, it shows that you are loving and caring. The last thing that she would need is for the guy to walk ten steps ahead with the wife trailing. Salaams, Hanif [/quote] |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Nomi |
| 06/04/03 at 09:15:17 |
| [slm] all [quote] I wanted to bring in Bro Hanif's advice from the other thread..Mashaallah really nice [/quote] yesss !!! give me a five bro Hanif, Abu_Hamza and company impressed upon these sisters, the (just) DA group is expaaanding :) Asim DA Zafar :P |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Yousef |
| 06/04/03 at 15:14:40 |
| And even feeding her, with your own hands “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628. But I don't think that's the problem, I was raised in a unloving family. And you can say even an atmosphere of hatred. Allahul-Musta3an. It doesn't feel right, and I told her that before we got married, so I was actually expecting that. alhumdilah she is very patient. ::) |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Ameeraana |
| 06/04/03 at 16:04:52 |
| [slm] sweet sayings that could be written on little cards to leave at her pillow: "I am so lucky to have you" "I am thinking about right now and imagining your smile" "I can't get you out of my mind" "You are my everything" "last night I loved the way your looked" "I can't wait to hold you in my arms tonight" "I love you more each day" "your eyes keep me mesmorized" this way you are letting out your feelings but yet when she reads your messages your not around and you won't feel as embarrassed. Then you can slowly move onto physically displaying your affection towards her. small steps, small steps... you'll get there!! Don't repeat the cycle of unaffection your family taught you!! Its healthy and a very wonderful thing for children to see their parents' love for each other!! .... stuff like that :) ---little things like this would just make my day :) Ameera |
| 06/04/03 at 18:18:31 |
| Ameeraana |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| Mujahidah |
| 06/04/03 at 17:53:28 |
| [quote author=Yousef link=board=bro;num=1054666068;start=0#7 date=06/04/03 at 15:14:40]But I don't think that's the problem, I was raised in a unloving family. And you can say even an atmosphere of hatred. Allahul-Musta3an. It doesn't feel right, and I told her that before we got married, so I was actually expecting that. alhumdilah she is very patient. [/quote] ...more of a reason to b loving, ur kids will learn frm u, having a lovin atmosphere will make i t easier to practice ur deen...do it 4 allah's sake! just cos she is patient dont keep ur feelings in!!!! ::) Show her luv and effection :) |
| Re: DA - Display Affection |
|---|
| superFOB |
| 06/05/03 at 03:36:06 |
| [slm] I get this advice frequently and thought that I'd pass it on to you. Don't be shy while: [list][*]at a meal.[*]with your wife.[*]seeking knowledge or doing dawah.[/list] |
| Re: DA - Â Display Affection |
|---|
| a_Silver_Rose |
| 06/09/03 at 21:51:34 |
| [slm] [quote]But I don't think that's the problem, I was raised in a unloving family. And you can say even an atmosphere of hatred. Allahul-Musta3an. It doesn't feel right, and I told her that before we got married, so I was actually expecting that. alhumdilah she is very patient. [/quote] yes Alhumdulilah that your wife is patient! and she probably also doesnt tell you how much she is in NEED of your love and affection....And Alhumdulilah that you love her! She need s to know so you have to slowly get the courage to tell her and show her ....(there are many ideas on the board how you can do that..Alhumdulilah) REmember that you have to start trying now before its too late...And Brother once you do that I think that will make you happier also ..be free and let your feelings out. Dont let the past control you, fight it :) Anyway Im really happy that atleast you are trying (as you are asking for advice on how to DA) thats an excellent start... May Allah (swt) make things easy on you and may you and your spouse always show love and affection towards each other. Ameen your sister |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |