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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Fragments within. |
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| Maliha |
| 06/06/03 at 00:15:49 |
| [slm] [i] It is within the spaces of emptiness that the yearning to express stems from. This very space of nothingness that terrifies me. The void that engulfs all of my weakness, the dark shadows of my mind that used to keep me tossing and turning at night, and... the echoes. Those strident echoes that shriek back all that has been absorbed in my being. Relentless voices, reaching a cresendo in my valleys, remain falsely muted. Clips of manufactured news, incessant commercial jarring in with enticing promises of fullfilling my dreams, discussion, work, and other mundane jargon that relish creating havoc in these spaces and yet there is always something else. Something deeper. What paralyzes me is not the voices, nor the echoes. What nudges my restless energy to express, is the silence within those spaces. For the echoes are nothing less than what I have to deal with everyday. The jargon that I sift through to find meaning. The pieces of meaningless information thrown my way, strands of irrelevancies that I have to discard. Reminders of hot tropical afternoons spent scrutinizing the platter of uncooked rice, which I had to ensure had no black particles, no brown covers, or other pieces of dirt that inevitably find their way in there. The product had to be a wholesome grain, the whiteness that simmered in the pot bearing delicious promises of an appetizing meal. Yes, I have been trained to patiently dissect through every dirty grain that comes my way to ensure nothing alien simmers in my being. To ensure I remain wholesome, intact. What about the silence? How does one deal with the gaping void that bears all the smiles of invitation and horror wrapped up in a single glance? Do I dare cross the threshold into the deepest untapped valley of my being? Do I dare face all the fleeting monsters, the howling nights that remain unspent, that chilling darkness whose embrace threatens to choke my very essence? Maybe I am not strong enough yet. My forces are certainly weak, my sunshine remains at best a straying ray of winter's noon. So I fold the covers neatly, spread the flowery sheets of distractions snugly, making sure the spaces are air tight and pick up my pen to write. Yes, today remains another moment wasted. Another breath of opportunity shunned. Today curls itself up in the inks of my pen, hoping that maybe within these meaningless words something concrete will emerge. Something I can hold on to, when everything else falls apart. Yet, my mind realizes the ineffectuality of all these futile excercises. For in the end, it will matter not how many times my fingers scrupulously typed on this hopeless keyboard. In the end, it will matter not how much poetry my being has crooned. For what righteousness comes from a chaotic being? What goodness can come out of words, expressions, letters, webbing their way delicately into a matrix of illusion? Our ideas, hopes, dreams, essences and yes, even mere words have to stem from a purity of being. Oceans of stillness that bear no traces of the storms within. For only He can tame the torrents of my soul. Only He can light those darkened spaces, dissipating the cobwebs in my dreams. It is on the edge of this precipice of hope that my being takes flight. Discarded are my horrific nightmares, forgotten are my shadows. The eternal breezes of Mercy gently carress my face, winds bearing glad tidings to my soul. I close my eyes, a prayer sealed by the luscious sighs of my lashes. The pen is dropped with a clatter; the ink of my tears gently oozing warmth within the intimate spaces fo my soul. Another moment has been deciphered. Another breath has been calmed. Alhamdullillah. Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] [/i] |
| Re: Fragments within. |
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| little._.sister |
| 06/06/03 at 04:49:38 |
| [wlm] That was absolutely beautiful :) I especailly enjoyed the 2nd and 3rd paragraph the most, because I felt that I could really relate to it. I'm always writing (mostly in my diary) when I'm sad or lonely - which lately has been a lot of times - hoping that it'll help me get through. .. and yes, it does. The things I write aren't anywhere near as beautiful as that though, honeslty. I'd love to read more of your writing some time take care, sister wassalam |
| Re: Fragments within. |
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| deenb4dunya |
| 06/06/03 at 21:00:27 |
| Assalamu Alaikum, Subhanallaah... may Allaah swt increase you. Little Sis, check out http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=special;action=display;num=1051014346 <--- its beautiful. Wassalamu Alaikum, Deen :-) |
| Re: Fragments within. |
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| BroHanif |
| 06/07/03 at 19:32:42 |
| Salaams, Rock on, absolute classical gem, beautiful something that I can really relate to especially now. Well done!. Salaams, Hanif |
| Re: Fragments within. |
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| wardah |
| 06/08/03 at 14:36:47 |
[slm] love reading your posts :-* so full of meaning Mashallah Jazkallah khair! May Allah bless you and make you successful in this life and the next. [wlm] |
| Re: Fragments within. |
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| .sakeena. |
| 06/11/03 at 23:55:33 |
| [slm] mashallah, *speechless*..... you know that beautiful rush of energy you get when you wake up REALLY early and step out of the door to grab the paper on a breezy summer morning.... i think this piece was like that first, refreshing, tingling, complete and rejuvinating first breath of fresh air...... [wlm] |
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