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| non hijabi sisters |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 06/07/03 at 00:27:04 |
| [slm] I was relieved to read this... [center]In Defence of Non-Hijaabi Sisters From Soundvision[/center] It had been ten years since she had set foot in a mosque. Being at university had broadened her mind in many ways, one of them being her reconnecting with Islam. She had begun praying five times a day a month ago, and now felt ready to pray in public, at the university’s Juma prayer. She paused and stood a few feet away from the women’s entrance. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the silk scarf out of her purse and tied it carefully on her head. Her ponytail stuck out a bit. She smoothed the creases on her long-sleeved beige shirt and tugged at the bottom of it to make it longer over her pants. The prayer was great. She had never felt this sense of inner peace. Afterwards, she tried mingling with the sisters, but nobody even looked her way. A few of them even pretended not to hear her greeting. The only sister who did talk to her said in a huff: “You know your prayer is not accepted in those pants and that tiny thing you pass for a Hijab. I suggest you get more Islamic knowledge and dress properly before coming back here.” The words stung her like a million bumble bees. Too numb to respond or speak, she charged out of the hall. Never again would she associate with these people, she told herself. And never again would she return to Juma. Are you shocked reading about this incident? Don’t be. It has been a reality in almost every Muslim community in North America. This harsh judgment and intolerance shown towards Muslim women who do not wear Hijab can lead to at least some Muslim women to become alienated from the Muslim community, and could lead to a loss of Islamic practice. While Hijab is an obligation clearly ordained in the Quran and Sunnah, the above-mentioned method of its enforcement and encouragement is not Islamic, according to Muslim scholars, researchers and activists. Muslims have to start seeing the issue from a different perspective, they say. [color=Purple]SOME ARGUMENTS IN SUPPORT OF NON-HIJABI SISTERS [/color]”I would say that the overwhelming majority of Muslim women I have met who don’t cover and who believe in God, believe they should cover, but believe they’re not ready yet,” says Sharifa Alkhateeb, vice-president of the North American Council of Muslim Women, in an interview with Sound Vision. This reality indicates there is a seed of faith that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. As well, it means these women need all the support they can get. Abdalla Idris Ali is a member of the Islamic Society of North America’s (ISNA) Majlis Shura, which debates Islamic issues and establishes policy for the organization. He says what also has to be remembered is that many Muslim women are coming from cultures where the Hijab is not practiced, for whatever reason. These sisters should not be condemned. Rather, Islamic concepts like Hijab, should be explained to them. Another possibility is that Muslim women who do not wear Hijab are coming from families which are either not practicing Islam, or are downright hostile to it. In this situation, “it’s actually a celebration that a young Muslim woman wants to pray Juma,” says Kathy Bullock, who started wearing Hijab two weeks after she converted to Islam. “I think that’s where the tolerance comes in.” Another reason some Muslim women may find Hijab difficult is because of the often negative ideas surrounding Hijab. For instance, that wearing Hijab kills marriage and job prospects. Muslim activists must seek to dispel such myths. ”There needs to be a lot more support for the women who decide to cover,” says Bullock, who completed a PhD. about The Politics of the Veil from the University of Toronto in January. Bullock also gives a chilling warning to those who condemn non-Hijabi Muslim women: “We might be wearing Hijab but we might be doing something incredibly wrong which cancels out the reward [for wearing it].” One of these things she mentions is arrogance. [color=Purple]WHY ARE SOME MUSLIMS SO SENSITIVE ABOUT THE HIJAB? [/color] Some Muslims seek to condemn non-Hijabis out of their understanding of the Quranic injunction of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. Yet, they fail to take the right approach in doing it, in accordance with the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), which was one of kindness, gentleness and patience. Interestingly, some Muslim men and women who criticize non-Hijabi Muslim women seem to have different reasons for doing it and varying ways of approaching a sister who does not wear Hijab. “Unfortunately on the brothers’ side there is a push to make Hijab the marker of Islamic identity,” says Bullock. She also emphasizes the hypocrisy of many Muslim men criticizing Muslim women who do not wear the Hijab, while they themselves wear tight jeans or pants, or short shorts. These forms of dress are strictly prohibited for men in Islam. Yet, go to any Juma or Jamaah prayer, and these forms of unIslamic dress can be easily seen. ”I think some of the men put too much emphasis on the women instead of looking at their own selves,“ she says. However, Alkhateeb thinks most of the men are less vigilant than the women about Hijab, partly because they figure the women are going to take care of it. She argues that the majority of the Muslim men who are over concerned about with the issue of Hijab because they don’t trust themselves sexually, and fear their own reaction to a woman who is not covered Islamically. For women, weak self-identity and faith could explain the harshness shown towards non-Hijabi Muslimas. “It is so difficult to maintain the practice of covering, emotionally, psychologically on the job and in everyday life, you get so much negativity from other people that the reaction of most of the practicing women and activists is to develop a cocoon, a protective cocoon, and part of that protective cocoon is in continually, verbally and in other ways rejecting what is unlike yourself,” explains Alkhateeb. “And that is to shore up your own self-identity. I think that part of the reason they are so negative is because this is part of shoring up their own self-identity and because there is a hidden fear that if they let down their guard that they’ll stop covering. And if they allow any space in their mind to alternative ways of thinking that their thinking will fall apart. And that means that the underlying precepts and concepts are not strong.” [color=Purple]WHERE DOES HIJAB FIT ON THE ISLAMIC LADDER? [/color] “While it is correct to say that Hijab is correct in the teaching of Islam we tend to forget that there are many other basic issues, why the over obsession?” asks Jamal Badawi, a member of the North American Fiqh Council. Part of the reason some Muslims treat non-Hijabis so harshly is because of their lack of understanding about where the obligation of Hijab ranks on the Islamic ladder. A more correct approach would be gradual and would mean implementing more important aspects of Islam, like Iman (faith), and praying five times a day before moving on to requirements like Hijab. “We fail to see any Ayah (verse of the Quran) pertaining to Hijab in the entire Makkan revelation that was given to the Prophet, that’s almost 13 years. The injunctions about more detailed aspects relating to the righteous Muslim community were revealed during the Medinan period. Some in the middle, and later part of that period,” explains Badawi, “This is a revealing lesson for us because it shows that Allah knew in advance what injunctions He wanted to reveal,” he adds. “Yet He delayed the revelation of those matters until many, many years of preparation on the level of Iman, submission to Allah, love of Allah and the sincere desire to voluntarily obey Allah and His Messenger. Once that base was established it wasn’t difficult at all for the believing women to willingly abide by the injunctions of Allah. “ Badawi says this is similar to how the Islamic commandment forbidding intoxicants was introduced. “The same process of preparation took place to the point that when the final prohibition of intoxicants was revealed it wasn’t difficult for men to abide by that willingly and immediately.” He explains this was especially difficult for Muslim men, who were the ones reported more likely to consume alcohol than women at that time. “Some well-intentioned Muslims seem to miss these lessons from the gradual revelation and become too legalistic to the point of doing more harm than benefit, notwithstanding their good intentions,” adds Badawi. [color=Purple]WRONGLY USING THE “BASEBALL BAT” APPROACH TO THE HIJAB [/color] “Muslims gain a little bit of knowledge and they want to run around with a baseball bat and beat people over the head with religion. That’s exactly what [has] made many young people leave the mosque,” says Alkhateeb. Using the right method to tell Muslim women about Hijab is crucial, just as it is in advising Muslims to implement any other requirement of the faith. “In the Prophet’s whole life he led by encouragement not pressure,” she says. “The way he behaved is the opposite of how most Muslims who are practicing Muslims behave towards each other in terms of giving advice. His way was not carrying around a religious baseball bat.” The thinker and writer, who has also been an activist for the last 35 years points out the “baseball bat” methodology is in full swing when many Muslims encounter non-Hijabis. “Instead of inviting her and embracing her, they’re immediately trying to think about what they can criticize her about,” says Alkhateeb. The Prophet also did not use“vigilantes” to impose a religious requirement like Hijab. “When we deal with the Sunnah, we find that he never appointed vigilantes to go around to reinforce something that believing Muslim women were encouraged to do, or use any harsh words or actions to arrive at that desired situation or desired setting,” says Badawi. “The approach that he followed which we should follow as our example was not to focus on issues like Hijab before Iman and psychological and spiritual preparation was in place.” Badawi stresses inviting to Hijab and other Islamic requirements should be done in a way “that would motivate people to respect the moral values of society rather than simply forcing them to do so. In fact that goes back to the definition of Islam which is willing trusting and loving submission to Allah and obedience to His Messenger.” As an example, he cited an incident from the lifetime of the Prophet when a Bedouin man urinated in the mosque. When other Muslims saw this, they became very angry and wanted to rebuke him harshly. The Prophet on the other hand, stopped them and told the man gently what he was doing was incorrect. “That story is a classic example of the contrast between the attitudes of some well-intentioned Muslims who want to correct the wrong immediately and by any means and the approach of the Prophet of kindness, gentleness, persuasion and wisdom,” he explains. [color=Purple]TEMPORARILY TOLERATING THE WRONG: A RULE OF USUL AL-FIQH [/color] “The other aspect which is frequently missed is another rule of ordaining the good and forbidding the evil which was addressed by many scholars especially by the famous Shaykh ul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah,” says Badawi. “The rule basically is that if in a given situation, attempting or trying to forbid the wrong may result in greater harm than benefit, then it is better to tolerate the wrong on a temporary basis.” “I think the classic example that Ibn Taymiyyah is referred to is when the Tatars invaded Muslim lands,” explains Badawi. “He was told that some of these soldiers were drinking and that they should be stopped because this is part of forbidding the wrong yet, he advised that they should be left alone. His reasoning was that if those soldiers become sober, they might go on killing more people which is a greater harm than drinking”. “This is not a new rule,” he emphasizes. ”It is a basic rule in Usul al-Fiqh, the roots of Islamic law, that if some harm is inevitable then it is better to tolerate the lesser harm in order to prevent great harm.” Badawi demonstrates how this rule could apply to a situation where a Muslim sister who does not wear Hijab attends Juma prayer. “For example, if that sister is approached in a harsh way she may not come again which could hurt her and hurt the community at large. But if she’s welcomed first and there’s demonstration of brotherhood and friendship, then in a gentle and wise way that is suitable for her, she can be encouraged, then of course it would be a far better result than the confrontational, harsh approach.” [color=Purple]INVOLVING NON-HIJABI SISTERS IN ACTIVITIES [/color] “It’s only by mixing in the right company that someone who is contemplating Hijab will have the strength and courage to make the final act,” says Bullock. This means women offering friendship, as well as involving the sisters in Islamic activities through organizations like Muslim Students’ Associations. Bullock notes that if a Muslim woman wants to do something for Islam she should be applauded “because she could be out there doing something else.” “Muslim organizations have a duty to say what is right and to invite in the best of manner women to cover and to support them when they do so but that doesn’t mean individuals should be judgmental when women are not covering,” she adds. [color=Purple]INVOLVEMENT, BUT NOT LEADERSHIP [/color]However, Ali and Badawi draw the line of involvement of non-Hijabi Muslim women in Muslim organizations at the leadership level. They both say that any Islamically-oriented organization will select a person to be their leader who reflects their goals and aspirations. That means a Muslim woman who does not wear Hijab would not be selected because she is not fully following the precepts of Islam. Similarly, a Muslim man who is not fulfilling Islamic obligations like prayer, chaste behavior, etc. would also not be selected for a leadership position in such a milieu. Badawi says this is not exclusion. Rather, it is the natural outcome in any milieu which aims to be Islamically-oriented. Its leadership will represent the precepts of Islam as much as possible. “I’m against the term exclusion because if we apply the Islamic Shura (consultative) method then the leadership would emanate from the people, will be chosen by the people. And if the community or Islamic organization in a given setting are truly Islamically oriented, one would expect that the person chosen to be the spokesperson and symbol of that organization should reflect their conviction and values in the best possible way.” [color=Purple]A POSITIVE APPROACH [/color] Badawi gives an example of how he, “with my weaknesses” approached an aggressive non-Hijabi sister and the result. Many years back, during a visit to Australia, one sister, during one of his lectures, a non-Hijabi Muslim woman asked questions about Hijab, in a disapproving manner. He talked to her kindly and give information without harshness. Two years later, he returned to Australia, and a sister in full Hijab approached him, asking if he recognized her. He did not. “I am the one who was arguing with you about Hijab two years ago,” she told him. “But it is the approach and information that you gave me that helped me to study more, to educate myself and to make up my own decision and I am happy with what I decided.” |
| Re: non hijabi sisters |
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| Rameeza |
| 06/09/03 at 23:58:06 |
| [slm] Great article! I went through quite a lot of internal turmoil before donning the hijab so I can empathise. One of the reasons that kept me from starting earlier is all the nagging to do it. I felt that if I did it , it would be for the sake of those who nagged me rather than for Allah. I started wearing it after my mind was at peace with my reasons for wanting to do so But I have to disagree about the tiny hijab in prayer part. I agree that there is no need to alienate these people by rudeness but people should be aware that if they are not covered properly their prayer is not valid. Plain and simple. You don't have to be a hijabi to cover at a masjid whilst praying. I used to wear lose clothes and cover my hair completely when I visited a mosque or just prayed at home., while not being a hijabi. Sporting a hijab is your choice and a command but thats up to you to follow it or not and the consequences are up to Allah to judge. Yet if you know that an action is not accepted, if not done properly, but u choose to do it, and wish it to be accepted, then you better do it right. I have seen so many people praying in a masjid in the US with see through shawls, half the hair showing, scarves that keep slipping off etc etc etc. I have nott seen this in any of the other countries that I have visited. We should be accepting, open and kind to all those who are seeking Islam but we should not compromise Islam in this process. I have to admit that I have not spoken out against these people at masjids because I did not know how to do it, and was worried about how it would be percieved. If you have any ideas on how to correct this in a constructive manner let me know. |
| Re: non hijabi sisters |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 06/10/03 at 00:16:07 |
| [slm] AGreed sister (although after we tell them once politely and with wisdom, it is up to them) (wearing a tiny thing for hijab while praying is going to hurt them and noone else) (you cannot force anyone) But sister Im not sure where the article disagrees with what you are saying? |
| 06/10/03 at 00:17:27 |
| a_Silver_Rose |
| Re: non hijabi sisters |
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| Anonymous |
| 06/10/03 at 12:33:15 |
| [slm] First i would like to say that mashallah that was a well written article. I'm also glad that soundvision disscussed this topic becasue i thinks its a very important issue. I was also saddend by the beginning story in the begning although not suprised. Its a shame that non-hijabis are treated so roughly its not right! i see this kind of treatment in my own commmunity and it really makes my blo blood boil! if i was a non - hijabi (which im not) i could probably be very easily turrned off to the whole going to the mosque. i mean why would you want to go someplace where they treat you like garbagee? and its not even limited to the masjid! ANY gathering of muslims women you can easily see the division btw non-hijabis and hijabis becasue usually the hijabi girls are in one corner talking amougnest themselves maybe not purpsoefully excluding the non-hijabi girls but doing so just the same. and i know at least in my community your, either in one group or the other... your either a non-hijabi or Hijabi there's rarely an in between. Like for example say there was a new non-hijabi girl on campus at first the hijabi girls welcome her to the MSA offer her help if needed but then thats it! khalas! their most likey not going to take that extra step to make her feel welcome. but on the other hand if it was a hijabi girl they'd welcome her with open arms! and give her that extra something beccasue she is special and she is our fellow "sistah" I think people sometimes forget that their are a multitude of GOOD reasons why a girl doesnt wear hijab....parents out refuse of it, peer pressure etc.. And as for muslim men wheather a girl wears hijab or not is none of their business. and it is definatley not right to go up to her and be like "sister you not covered right please go home" or "sister your jeans are too tight" i mean DAMN! why you lookin so hard in the first place?? NOBODY but her father has the right to comment on a girl's attire got that!! good. peace One hijabi girls opinion |
| Re: non hijabi sisters |
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| Rameeza |
| 06/10/03 at 16:48:36 |
| [slm] I guess I'm going to play devil's advocate here [ as usual ;D] with sister anon, and ask what about the hadith that says, " If you witness some wrong deed correct it with your mouth, if not your hand, if not feel bad in your heart" [this is my summary of the hadith]??? I agree that we should be kind and not prejudiced in any way. But how do we go about correcting wrong deeds that we see committed around us? And in your case, sister anon, the question is should we correct it at all??? Saying anything to a sister without hijab leads to some bad taste in the mouth of both parties. So should we ignore it, make them completely comfortable praying with small itty bitty scarves, and not care much if their prayers are accepted or not. Are we really being kind??? In the masjid where I go to pray, I see many people praying in this manner and since we are all very polite and 'kind' we dont say anything. Thus, it continues since everyone is pleased to be there and feel that its ok to perform the sala'a in that fashion. Sister silverrose! My only issue with the article is that it does not highlight the fact that there should be some dress code when you attend a masjid. I am sorry that the sister turned away from the masjid due to some rude behavior on the part of others in the masjid but, should the sister not respect the place of worship and be attired properly??? I can give you a story where I stopped atpending a masjid because of other sisters who dressed questionably at the masjid. In my hometown back home, I used to attend Tharaweeh prayers at the masjid. Then I realised that many girls were getting all dolled up to come to the masjid since lots of young guys waited outside before entering for the prayer. WHen you walked in to the masjid you could see a bunch of guys just hanging around and checking out the talent entering the masjid. This sickened me cause I used to see this outside other places of worship where people go to be seen rather than pray. I stopped going to pray at the masjid with the rest of my family. I felt it was better for me to do it at home anyway. If you dont want to wear hijab and want to wear 'tight jeans' etc, it up to you, but shold you come to a masjid like that? should someone correct you if you pray like that? I once took three American christian friend for a funeral service at the masjid. They were just coming to pay their respects and were naturally not going to do the sala'a. They wore long covered outfits. Borrowed scarves from me and covered their hair almost as well as I had. All this just to be respectful at a muslim place of worship. Let me let you know that there were muslim ladies there who had not covered their hair and some how managed some SORT of hijab during the prayer. Where are we going wrong? Even at church I have seen peopel dress modestly and wear 'church clothing'. |
| Re: non hijabi sisters |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 06/10/03 at 18:15:45 |
| [wlm] [quote]Sister silverrose! My only issue with the article is that it does not highlight the fact that there should be some dress code when you attend a masjid. I am sorry that the sister turned away from the masjid due to some rude behavior on the part of others in the masjid but, should the sister not respect the place of worship and be attired properly [/quote] The article did say [quote]While Hijab is an obligation clearly ordained in the Quran and Sunnah, the above-mentioned method of its enforcement and encouragement is not Islamic, according to Muslim scholars, researchers and activists. Muslims have to start seeing the issue from a different perspective, they say. [/quote] I think the reason it did not state that fact is because the article is not focusing on that but focusing on the treatment towards nonhijabi sisters. I agree that the sister should respect the place of worship as even nonmuslims who come wear a scarf for respect. Could it be that maybe that is all the sister had, or maybe she just didnt think about that since she doesnt wear hijab anywhere else? Maybe just doing that little bit was an improvement for her. Anhow you do make a good point. ..and let s say we see someone who is doing that then maybe we can start talking to them (becoming their friends) and then eventually bring the subject up. .. but no force should be used as this only affects them and noone else and also might do more harm then good Although in my masjid I see a little of the opposite. I see many hijabis who come with tight shirts and tight jeans ect and I think that is very discouraging to woman who dont wear hijab or are even thinking about wearing it. And I totally agree about how it must look too nonmuslims who are doing it out of respect and come to see that the muslims themselves arent. We could also maybe have more lectures or kutbah stressing the fact... Alhumdulilah good points Anon! |
| Re: non hijabi sisters |
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| nouha |
| 06/10/03 at 19:59:45 |
| [slm] hmm interesting topic... theres a cassette tape by Brother Abdul Malik called "Speaking Kindly" and he brings up this exact issue.... i recommand people to listen to it.... its not that muslims should not tell non hijabi sisters, or hijabi sisters about dressing appropraitely for the masjid... its just that they should do it kindly.... and not in front of everyone... take them to the side and talk to them in a very sincere way..... offer them you jilbabs/hijabs as a start... remember that many times new hijabis dont have the clothes they need to be appropriate for the masjid... because they are NEW hijabis therefore have the same kind of clothes...tight jeans whatever as before.... wasalam nouha:) |
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