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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Inspire me... |
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| theOriginal |
| 06/23/03 at 09:27:57 |
| [slm] I have a question for the sisters who juggle cooking, cleaning, school/work/both, commute, family commitments (children/hubby/bros who drink milk by the carton), community stuff, a social life, etc.... How do you do it? I only got a small taste of it last year when I was living alone with my older brother, working 3 jobs at one point (my fault...I have workaholic tendencies), residing 2 hours away from campus, living in my parents' 6 bedroom house, cooking, cleaning, studying, shoveling snow (brother's fault...he would get up later than I would...which meant I had to shovel).... And I really found it very difficult to cope. Alhumdulillah, I'm moving to an apartment closer to campus next year, which should help....but I was actually really angry at myself for not being able to manage. But there are some of you who do it...I know my mom did that and more when she was my age... Perhaps you can give us all pointers? woohoo. thanks. Wasalaam. |
| Re: Inspire me... |
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| Kathy |
| 06/23/03 at 09:54:54 |
| [slm] Some days I get overwhelmed myself. With all the community, secular and religious, activities I got pretty bogged down. Until this year. I finally thought about my priorities. I actually sat down and figured out what was best for me in preparing for my after life. Wow... my life changed! I dropped out, well cut back on hours, of the school PTA and all the backbiting and stupid stuff. And now teach a woman's class at the dawah center instead. I cut back on my board member activities for a local Childrens Orgaganization in leu of taking a woman's class at the Masjid. I gave up loafing on Sunday mornings to teach a kids class on Adab. I also changed my family priorities, significantly. I put my Hubby first and made sure his needs were met[i]a man is pretty easy...maka sure they have a meal, clean clothes and quiet time...and they are happy![/i] The other day I was overwhelmed with everything I had to do. As my hubby was leaving he asked me to do something for him that would take me almost three hours to do. I almost cried. I had tons of other responsibilities. I just sat and made dua to Allah swt. I made my hubby's request the most important thing... and SubHanna Allah... I don't know how it happened but I got everything done with an hour to spare! |
| Re: Inspire me... |
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| Caraj |
| 06/23/03 at 11:54:47 |
| [quote author=JustOne link=board=sis;num=1056371277;start=0#0 date=06/23/03 at 09:27:57] [slm] I have a question for the sisters who juggle cooking, cleaning, school/work/both, commute, family commitments (children/hubby/bros who drink milk by the carton), community stuff, a social life, etc.... How do you do it? Wasalaam. [/quote] When you are married and have children of your own it then becomes a labor of love :) And not a chore. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you get overwelmed and want to scream and then some goofy husband or child comes up and hugs your neck or says something sweet and you get warm fuzzies and think, wow this is all worth it. :-* (Till the next time when you feel like strangling someone) When it is your own husband and your own children it is a little different. Like I said above. Truly a labor of love. ;) One piece of advice for the future, alway clearly communicate your needs. I was the only female born in my family the first 32 years of my life (Till my cousin had a daughter) I had a brother and all male cousins and I only had sons. I find that most females (I am saying most, not all) tend to play the passive agressive little.....'guess why I am mad' games where if a man is mad, you usually know it and why. With your future hubby always be specific, short (no rattling) and to the point. (Ie: 'I am fed up and need some time alone, I am going to take a bubblebath anyone knocking on the door will be shot' :D You can't get more blunt than that ladies :P Even if I am angry at something else I tell my husband, 'This is not a you thing and I am fustrated and angry, I have to deal with it, you can't help please so leave me alone for a while.' (sepcify few minutes, one hour, half the day) Always end it with, but I love you or but thank you for being so sweet and concerned. But back to the main question, when it is your turn you'll find energy you never knew you had. :) But it is worth it. :) Also prioritize stuff, and remember 18 years goes fast. So when your time comes enjoy your future children and don't sweat the small stuff. |
| 06/24/03 at 01:06:10 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Inspire me... |
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| AyeshaZ |
| 06/24/03 at 00:46:53 |
| [wlm] ahhhh Prioritize!!!!!!!!!! Subhan'Allah if you don't you will surely burn out!! I have often felt when i do a lot of work, sometimes I loose the barakah in doing the things.. Now, obviously if you have barakah in your time you can more than an average person. But always question yourself before you do something.. Some people are alhamdullilah very multi-task( mostly sisters :) ) and can manage everything but especially if you see your dunaywee things are taking over your spirituality then something needs to be changed!! However, 3 jobs is subhan'Allah!!! :P |
| Re: Inspire me... |
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| faisalsb |
| 06/24/03 at 06:48:01 |
| [slm] Well Sister JustOne three jobs at once apart from studying ....... ???? I think you are killing yourself. I think that's load of our over ambitious nature. It's common in today's modern life style. When we have desire to get so much in too less time period. But I think it's good exercise once we go through it then we realise the things what we think are important or necessary to have actually they are not that important how we think. There was a time when I was virtually working 24 hours a day. I used to get phone calls at 2:00 or 3:00 AM, sometimes I had to run to my office at midnight, which was around 50 KM away from my home.. Once I literally worked more than 24 hours without break and when I was on my way back to home I just got escaped couple to times to meet an accident because I got asleep while driving. Latter I realised I was putting too much on myself for nothing. So I tried to control my working hours. In the result I lost that job ............:) Now I have another job which is not that demanding I am making a little less money than before but Elhamdulillah it's good enough to have good living. The thing what I have realised a little more money really didn't worth the time and social life what I was losing in result of it. I am agreed with sister Kathy we have to set priorities that's the way how we can manage things better. |
| Re: Inspire me... |
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| Nomi |
| 06/24/03 at 07:38:39 |
| [slm] Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in our life. wassalam |
| Re: Inspire me... |
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| A_Stranger |
| 06/24/03 at 16:36:34 |
| [quote author=Nomi link=board=sis;num=1056371277;start=0#5 date=06/24/03 at 07:38:39][slm] Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in our life. wassalam[/quote] Now [i]that[/i] inspired me.. |
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