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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| a sensative issue |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 07/02/03 at 08:53:20 |
| [slm] how are you all, my beautiful sistazzzzzzzzzzz?... i am not so good! very scared and lost at college! :( ??? what made me get scared is the fact that there are rapist at my college! so fur during the summer scession there have been 5 girls who got raped! :o :o :o all that happend near my campus, where i am at! most of them took place at night though...but still!! waallahil!! pray for me sistazz... i am like sooooooooooooo scared...i want to get the hell out and leave this place!! but i can't. i have to stay here untill AUgust 1st... btw, is there special duaaz for protecting yourself?? i need them please....help me out sisz... and do any of u guys have tips how i can protect myself? i will be greatful for them... thankzzz to all... [wlm] |
| 07/02/03 at 08:54:05 |
| IMuslim_4Ever |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| theOriginal |
| 07/02/03 at 08:59:35 |
| [slm] Ayat-ul-Kursi and the last three Surahs. InshaAllah you'll be fine. Make sure you are always in a crowd...if you have to go alone somewhere especially at night, call a security guard. Try to get home in time for Maghrib....make lots of friends...always helps. Making duaa for you... Wasalaam |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| missy |
| 07/02/03 at 10:27:29 |
| You could also buy some pepper spray and always keep it on you. It's very good since you don't have to be too close to the person to use it. I don't know where you're located, but I got mine at a sporting goods store since I live in a not too safe area and I work late at night sometimes. |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| Nomi |
| 07/02/03 at 11:51:07 |
| [slm] Sounds like a place where ladies should be observing Niqab! and you might want to have a see at this thread.. http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=madrasa;action=display;num=1057034994 you are in our duas Asim Zafar |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| lucid9 |
| 07/02/03 at 12:24:35 |
| [slm] Why would niqab be helpful in this instance? I would think that it would make you more vulnerable -- since niqbis would represent a challenge to the the male ego of the offenders and if they were in any way anti-muslim, a niqab would provide another excuse for harassment? May Allah guide us all. |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| jannah |
| 07/02/03 at 12:48:51 |
| [wlm] Most colleges have a Walk with you program so you don't have to walk back to your car/bus alone... and you can also request campus security accompany you. With a history like that the school should definitely be providing some security for you. If that doesn't work, get some sisters together and do stuff together always. |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| Nomi |
| 07/02/03 at 14:16:56 |
| [slm] [quote author=lucid9 link=board=sis;num=1057146800;start=0#4 date=07/02/03 at 12:24:35] Why would niqab be helpful in this instance? I would think that it would make you more vulnerable [/quote] Would hijab make one more vulnerable than no hijab?! Those without hijabs will say yes, i say "ofcourse not". Same is the case with Niqab but this topic isn't allowed to be discussed in here as scholars have a difference of opinion on it, so i'll leave it at that. [slm] A brother in islam. |
| 07/02/03 at 16:25:55 |
| Nomi |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 07/02/03 at 16:17:29 |
| [slm] everybody thank you all... [quote author=JustOne link=board=sis;num=1057146800;start=0#1 date=07/02/03 at 08:59:35] [slm] Make sure you are always in a crowd...if you have to go alone somewhere especially at night, call a security guard. Try to get home in time for Maghrib....make lots of friends...always helps. Making duaa for you... [/quote] yes sis, i do go with a crowd...at least we go by 3 people... since its the summer time they don't have that many security guys around. but during the regular school year they will have them though. i made lots of friends. last night there were like 7 ppl in my room, all talking about this incident and figuring out what to do...there was a police officer for the night shift...he later came up to our lounge and gave advice... i was in my room that time...but my friends told me what he said. brother Asim, i agree with you. Niqab is a good solution. i do wear the hijab though. since its all girls i was thinking that i will wear jelbab/abaya...for now anyway. Inshallah i will try to find that particular program sis Jannah... Thank you all for advice...i feel much better now... ttyl everybody [wlm] |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| nouha |
| 07/02/03 at 17:03:36 |
| [slm] ohmygod thats really scary....five allready.... pls take care of yourself... there should be a program with campus safety where u can call someone up to walk u back..and if not.... create one.... tell them five rapes is more than reasonable to start a walking buddy program at rutgers... i felt really scared my frist time by myself... defintely stay with a group of freinds.... never walk alone!!!! i dont know how much i can stress that.... try to be back in ur dorm by 10 at the latest...!!!! u said that there wont be any safety ppl in the fall....hmm there should be... guys in my msa walked me back to my dorm when i needed it... so defintely talk to the msa about this... ill make dua isnhallah... take care hun wasalam nouha:) |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| muahmed |
| 07/02/03 at 19:08:00 |
| [slm] ;-) Someone was telling me that in USA people have become insensitive to the point that yelling "rape! rape!" is useless. No one would come to help. Instead a girl if attacked in that manner should yell "fire! fire!" |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| sofia |
| 07/03/03 at 15:20:49 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah, I know it may not have been the intent, but would we rather have a non-niqaabi or non-hijaabi be raped? I completely agree that hijaab and niqaab are a protection from Allah, and alhamdulillah, women who wear these are rarely raped (take note, sisters), but let's not miss the larger picture. No one should be raped, period. Unfortunately, not every woman will wear the hijaab/niqaab. Does that make her deserve rape? Again, I know that's not the intention of the suggestion. Not sure what a rape-prevention program would entail, since it would necessitate having some baseline level of moral standards, but a college-campus setting is where it's most needed. And wouldn't it be a great da'wah opp for the MSA to initiate something like this (if it doesn't already exist)? Maybe campaign for harsher punishment for rapists, reminding all women to not walk alone at night, or a campus-alert program or something. Usually, the rapist knows the victim and/or where she goes, and often, the situation involves alcohol. But not exclusive to these situations, so may Allah protect you all. My main point: sisters, do not get too friendly with any males, Muslims or non, and never go anywhere with them alone. Seems like a given but a lot of (innocent) sisters may not think enough about it in every situation they're in. Just be aware, and Allah is the best protection (get to know a lot of du'aas on protection, as mentioned above). Btw, in college, the sisters were very protective of each other and rarely let each other walk alone at night. Use the buddy-system whenever possible. |
| NS |
| 07/03/03 at 15:28:19 |
| sofia |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| Nomi |
| 07/03/03 at 16:32:27 |
| [slm] Some three years back i developed this website out of a research paper of mine, some of you might not agree with the way things are put there but i think it worths a look. Note that i haven't updated it since then so dont come hard on me after going through it. There are just four short (quite) pages till the conclusions were drawn and dont forget to click on "Leave a message" link on conclusions page (you'll like this part for sure) here u go .... http://www.norapes.i8.com/ [slm] Asim Zafar. |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 07/03/03 at 17:57:59 |
| [slm] [quote]You could also buy some pepper spray and always keep it on you. It's very good since you don't have to be too close to the person to use it. I don't know where you're located, but I got mine at a sporting goods store since I live in a not too safe area and I work late at night sometimes. [/quote] yes! this works awesome! you should always keep one in your purse, I remember my friends had to use this and it really helped. I used to keep a pocket knife but now I think that it is better not to specially since you wear hijab or else they might use that reason to accuse you of somthing. [quote]My main point: sisters, do not get too friendly with any males, Muslims or non, and never go anywhere with them alone. Seems like a given but a lot of (innocent) sisters may not think enough about it in every situation they're in. Just be aware, and Allah is the best protection (get to know a lot of du'aas on protection, as mentioned above). [/quote] PLEASE take this point into consideration. The guy who you think is friendly/safe in your classroom is very likely to be the one would try to take advantage if you are alone. It is better to avoid joking ect w/ the opposite gender. while you are overly smiling/laughing/giggling/teasing they may become attracted to you without you knowing it. [quote]Btw, in college, the sisters were very protective of each other and rarely let each other walk alone at night. Use the buddy-system whenever possible. [/quote] yes Alhumdulilah thas how it was in my sisters college also, even the msa brothers would check on them or if it was late follow them home Alhumdulilah. (dont be like me) (because i know if some msa brother would do that for me i would bluntly refuse and say i can take care of myself.. how can i get rid of this pride or should i have to get rid of this pride for I think I can protect myself as Allah (swt) is with me?) |
| 07/03/03 at 17:59:21 |
| a_Silver_Rose |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 07/05/03 at 15:57:52 |
| [slm] i like the website bro Nomi...thanks... yeah i am gonna keep the pepper spray, definetly...and ofcourse use the buddy system... thank you sis silverose. inshaallah things will be fine... i heard that they got the guy...he was a hispanic person...with long hair and all... i believe, if you take precautions, ( also knowing Allah [swt] always there), things will be alright... Allah [swt] will take care of us. ameen... [wlm] |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/07/03 at 23:15:01 |
| Salams, This mail i got recently may be of use... Subject: SERIOUS > PLEASE READ, GUYS, FORWARD TO ALL WOMEN U KNOW >-------Original Message------- > In the wake of little Holly's abduction and murder the email below was >passed to me and this stands as a very good reminder for All Women, Men and >Children. >Please take the time to read this. I know you are smart enough to know these >pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that >. After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be >careful in this crazy world we live in. >1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If >you are close enough to use it, do! >2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans: if a robber asks for >your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... >chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you >and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! >3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail >lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The >driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives. >4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, >working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. >DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect >opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, >and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS >AND LEAVE. > >5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking >garage: > a. Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger >side floorand in the back seat. > b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the >passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them >into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. > c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and >the passenger side.If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, >you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman >to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better >paranoid than dead.) >6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.(Stairwells are horrible >places to be alone and the perfect crime spot). >7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! >The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; even then, >it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN! >8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT!It may get you >raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was good-looking, well >educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He >walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle >or with his vehicle, which is when he abductedhis next victim. >I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.It may save a life. A >candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to >the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, >daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well. > >Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world >we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than sorry. >***************************************************************************** |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| IMuslim_4Ever |
| 07/13/03 at 01:26:28 |
| [slm] Thank you for the help...its really good and probably will save lives... in the college they gave a cession...it was about self defense...it was pretty good, too... :) inshaallah starting from the fall semester i might join the self defense class. they are gonna help me the basic steps fo fighting... pray for my brothers and sisters... ma salaama |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/14/03 at 00:32:52 |
| [slm] Ya Rub...I know how scary that is. I'm sure all of us women know. So here are some tips. Always walk with a buddy, more than one preferred. Pepper spray at hand reach. Hijab and tough pants to get open under your dress. martial arts....or self defense classes. I've been attacked once and knowing how to fight back helped me a great deal, plus it showed him that he was messing with the wrong person. Screaming too. After giving a few bruises, I ran like Hell into the lights and streets and ran, the idiot ran after me. I had a head start, and when I reached a corner where I knew it was a 24 hour Mom and Pops shop he somehow came in front of me and knocked me to the ground. I kneed him the nuts again and pulled him off. My scream helped and 2 men came running from the shop and scared the guy away. One ran after but he got away unfortunately. But subhanallah, they found I guy with a nosebleed and a couple of bruises a couple of blocks away. It was him. I was foolish to walk alone. Never walk alone. I don't what would've happened f i didn't do all those things but I could imagine. You're in my du'as. Ma-asalaama.... |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| jannah |
| 07/14/03 at 02:26:38 |
| [wlm] wow i didn't know that happenned to u sis.. i'm so sad :( alhamdulillah u got away... i hope the scum got and is going to get what he deserves >:( |
| Re: a sensative issue |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/14/03 at 12:07:25 |
| [slm] He didn't get enough because he attempted and was not successful. And it was his first attempt. And he was a foreigner so his sentence was to let INS deal with it which they sent him back home to let their police dept deal with him. Al-hamdulillah, lesson learned. I'm ok. When it was happening, I was really mad and angry at the attacker so my rage helped. I wasn't scared at all. At the police station when I was giving my statement, etc. Only after a few questions and photographs of my bruises, it hit me. What if he had a weapon? WHat if this or this or this? WHat about my girls? Mom? Who would take care of them? Then I started to cry a little. Allah (SWT) was protecting me. I need to learn more martial arts-Bruce Lee films, Jackie Chan, and Jet Lee really helped plus boxing with the husband helped too. But I'd never be stupid again no matter how angry I get at times. Ma-asalaama...... |
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