A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| jaihoon |
| 07/02/03 at 10:47:25 |
| [slm] Why is it that MOST lovers compose great lines of praise for their beloved, while FEW husbands do that for their wives? Is it that the former are more loving, or just that they are kiddin? But at the same time, why do (most) married ladies find tales of love more appealing than married men? Appreciate ur replies. |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| muahmed |
| 07/02/03 at 19:02:10 |
| [slm] ;-) Axiom 1: Men are inherently lazy. Axiom 2: Women are inherently romantic. That should answer all your questions. When men are trying to woo a beautiful girl they work hard and compose good poetry. Once married the incentive goes away and axiom 1 takes complete hold. Woman before marriage have these romantic ideals about married life. However when the husband shows little interest in matters other than food, their romantic longings force them to find some solace in love stories. |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| Nabila |
| 07/02/03 at 20:33:07 |
| [slm] I have a sudden urge to invest in a Mills & Boon subscription. ma asalaamah and take care |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| NinthMuharram |
| 07/02/03 at 21:02:06 |
| [quote] Axiom 1: Men are inherently lazy. Axiom 2: Women are inherently romantic. That should answer all your questions. When men are trying to woo a beautiful girl they work hard and compose good poetry. Once married the incentive goes away and axiom 1 takes complete hold. Woman before marriage have these romantic ideals about married life. However when the husband shows little interest in matters other than food, their romantic longings force them to find some solace in love stories[/quote] Before I got married to my husband, we were merely good friends. So, there was no wooing, no love poems.After we got married, I was suprised at how romantic he is (The wooing,poems, sms and love letters/emails) and how lazy I am (My letters / emails usually consist of - Assalamualaikum honey, have a good day. I'm going to be busy today" ::) ). I always thought , "Hey , I married you, didn't I? That should've proved that I love you." I was wrong. The hardest thing now is to maintain that marriage from beind dull, boring and no longer encouraging one another to have positive outlook and I am learning a lot from my husband. It is embrassing for me sometimes esp when the theory is like what Bro Muhammad Ahmed mentioned above : the wife is the romantic one. Prove how we can't generalize. ;D [quote] I have a sudden urge to invest in a Mills & Boon subscription. [/quote] Me too if it is not for a sarcastic remark by one of my friend. :P |
| 07/02/03 at 21:04:04 |
| NinthMuharram |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| kingzdaughter1 |
| 07/02/03 at 23:09:41 |
| :) back 1000000000000000 lifetimes ago when I did English at school, our teacher commented that most of the great poets were ''in love'' with someone who they couldn't have. She had a theory that great artists in general reached their peak when they had some great problem in their life that prevented them from having what they desired- and *that's* how the great works came about. (art generally, poems specifically) It's certainly an interesting theory and put against all the poets that we studied at school (maybe a coincidence, who knows) this was in fact true! if you go by that theory, you only write when you feel so passionate about something that you have all of these feelings to write- but when you're married, you already have what you want (plus mortgage, bills, fear of losing your job etc) so really, why would you bother? Ofcourse I'm not advocating this as reality, just quotin someone who had an answer (rightly/wrongly) on the subject 8) P.S. NB this was about 'secular' poetry as opposed to great works about God ;D |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| Nomi |
| 07/03/03 at 07:14:17 |
| [slm] Some of the points made me recall the story of Hazrat Abu Bakr's son and his wife, both were good at poetry even being married. We've got examples in our day to day life as well, so nothing can be generalized. [slm] Asim Zafar PS: KD, i think this will help u in dropping the idea of being TK :) |
| 07/03/03 at 07:16:42 |
| Nomi |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| Nabila |
| 07/03/03 at 08:14:16 |
| [slm] I agree with Xtian - isnt there a quote - ''After 500 years of wars, bloodshed, and strife, Italy gave us Leonardo, Michaelangelo, and the most romantic poetry. In Switzerland they have had 500 years of peace and prosperity, and what did they give us? The cuckoo clock.'' :D Goes to show how hardship motivates people to reach upwards and onwards... ma asalaamah and take care |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| Kathy |
| 07/03/03 at 09:26:24 |
| [slm] Jaihoon... you have been missing for some time.... watch ya been doing? [quote]Why is it that MOST lovers compose great lines of praise for their beloved, while FEW husbands do that for their wives? [/quote] ;) I think it all goes back to the primal 'hunt'. Men get all excited and decorate themselves up for the 'hunt'.. they often go out in packs and others go out in solitare to catch the big "game" They are excited and passionate as they prepare their supplies needed to catch a prize 'animal'. Once they are out in the woods, they dream and dream about getting "a magnificant prize" Some even carved pictures of their hunt and capture on cave walls. While in the woods they watch for the most beautiful animal, knowing they will use it to "decorate" their lives...and know the status of bringing home the "food" will be to their family. In otherwords it is all in the hunt that the men are most passionate... I mean.. have you ever seen a cave wall decorated with a Norman Rockwell picture of the entire family eating the kill? [quote]while FEW husbands do that for their wives? [/quote] Once they got the "hunt" the thrill of the 'hunt' is gone! [quote]why do (most) married ladies find tales of love more appealing than married men? [/quote] They are thinking about the 'hunt' that got away..... ;) |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| paula |
| 07/04/03 at 10:34:00 |
| [slm][size=2][font=book antiqua][color=Navy] Smile………sister Kathy took my answer ;) I was going to say I think it goes back to the innate instincts of man vs woman. The rhythm & rhyme of the catch….. but once the hunt is over….. no need for the rhyme. Then for women… that internal caring/compassion instinct that resides is just home for a beautiful tale. Where for men…. That provider instinct is all wrapped up in providing. However, I do have to say. I think most mature husbands, those that are organized & confident, tend to stay/be fairly compassionate. I also believe wives are often misunderstood & not craving as much drama / soap opera as many men tend to believe. They just long for honest caring. [/color][/font][/size] [wlm] |
| 07/04/03 at 10:39:08 |
| paula |
| Re: Praising the Beloved vs Wife: |
|---|
| se7en |
| 07/05/03 at 03:06:40 |
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, Kathy that hunting thing is so interesting.. I was talking to our msa advisor (this non-muslim dude) and he was telling me his theory about how men tend to be "hunters" as you've described.. and women tend to be "fishermen" (er.. fisherwomen)... and put their 'bait' out to catch something.. and if they don't like something they throw it back. he went on to say how he thought it was cool that the 'bait' for muslims is not something physical.. how the hijab kind of forces people to look to a deeper level, and so a muslim woman's "bait" is not her appearance but her intelligence, character, personality, etc. I thought it was fascinating and kinda funny :) wasalaamu alaykum :-) |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |