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| Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Nisa |
| 07/03/03 at 07:31:40 |
| Before I was a Mom Before I was a Mom I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone. Before I was a Mom, I slept as late as I wanted And never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. Before I was a Mom I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies. Before I was a Mom I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations Before I was a Mom I had never been puked on Pooped on Spit on Chewed on Peed on Or pinched by tiny fingers Before I was a Mom I had complete control of: My thoughts My body And my mind. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small Could make me feel so important. Before I was a Mom I had never gotten up in the middle of the night Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay I had never known the warmth The joy The love The heartache The wonder Or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom. :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* |
| 07/03/03 at 07:32:05 |
| Nisa |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Kathy |
| 07/03/03 at 09:12:57 |
| [slm] Wow... this is all so true. makes me wonder about MF. Has anyone heard from her? |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Fozia |
| 07/03/03 at 10:01:16 |
| [slm] Can I add. Before I was a mum, I didn't know my life was incomplete... Wassalaam |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Nisa |
| 07/03/03 at 10:35:05 |
| [quote]Before I was a mum, I didn't know my life was incomplete...[/quote] [slm] SubhanAllah sis ;D :-) |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Dawn |
| 07/06/03 at 07:21:49 |
| [slm] I felt like I needed to add something in support of all those women out there who want desperately to "know the feeling of having their heart outside their body" or to "know the bond between a Mother and her child" but, for any number of reasons, can't. I was very nearly one of those women. We struggled with infertility, and after treatment upon treatment, finally, with the use of IVF combined with ICSI, we conceived. Today, I have a beautiful two year old daughter. But many of the friends I made who were going through the same thing with me did not have a "happy ending". After years of treatment, which included hundreds of self injections, medications, surgeries, etc., they remain without children. I witnessed many of them go through the classic stages of grief. My own joy was tempered with the knowledge that I had gotten what they so desperately desired but didn't get. While I am learning to be a Mommy, they are learning to live with the dull ache of desire, of living childfree against their wishes, of enjoying a life without children. But I do not think that they are living incomplete lives. To do that is to belittle the mental effort, the emotional battles, the daily struggles that they have to get on with life and live a life which IS complete, albeit without children. And I see many of them succeeding. And I rejoice for them. Yes, having children may indeed make one feel complete. But those who, for whatever reason, can't have children, can still live compete, fulfilled lives without them. With Peace, Dawn |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Fozia |
| 07/06/03 at 09:02:53 |
| [slm] Oh Dawn I really really didn't mean that. I've been there too, so I know where you're coming from.. I meant that for me personally, having Fatima Zohra in my life complete's me, it's how I feel... I sooooo don't want to hurt anyone because I know exactly what it feels like to be in a situation where I thought I'd not have children, subhanallah I don't want any woman to go through that. Wasalaam |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Nisa |
| 07/07/03 at 12:12:53 |
| [slm] Sister Dawn...I'm truly sorry..I didnt mean to cause offence to anyone....to feel complete as a muslimah, no doubt the deen must be the foremost in your priorities in life. Again, apologies dear sister..may Allah swt guide us all on the Straight path, Ameen. [wlm] |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Dawn |
| 07/08/03 at 02:02:09 |
| [slm] Sis Fozia, please don't think that I was saying that you were generalizing! Your statement was clearly a self reference, as was Sis Nisa's. I appologize to both of you if this was what you thought I was implying! All I was trying to do was either bring to mind or remind people, myself included, that for some women this is a very sensitive issue. I must admit, if I would have read this poem four years ago, I would have cried, but not felt hurt. But, my emotional state being what it was at that point in time, if someone would have said that, having a child made them realize that they were incomplete before, I would have been up in arms as well as hurt, for I would have extended that to myself, regardless of the author's intent. This is why I mentioned it. I am sure that no one would want someone struggling with this to take their words that way, especially when that was not the intent. But many people simply don't realize the struggle some couples have to go through to become parents. And I just wanted to bring this to people's attention. Even I, given all that we went through, have found myself once or twice, with my foot in my mouth and wondering how on earth I could have said what I did -- which makes me much guiltier than others, as I have "been there, done that". So the post was a reminder for me as much as anything! But I was not offended, sisters, so no appologies necessary! With Peace, Dawn |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| faisalsb |
| 07/08/03 at 02:54:26 |
| [slm] Jazakalla Khair Sister Dawn, I think you have raised very good and valid point. Sometimes unintentionally we do have ideas and concepts which look good and Islamic but actually they are not. The best example is in Quran and Sunnah of Holy Prophet [saw], one of the few women who are referred in Quran is Aisha (rau) and she didn't have any kids. We also know how much she was loved by Holy Prophet [saw] and her contribution in Islam. There are large number of hadiths which are narrated by her and which are of great importance in deen. Can we say because she didn't have kids that's why she was incomplete? Certainly we can't say that. Allah knows the best ..... |
| Re: Before I was a MOM (adorable!) |
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| Nisa |
| 07/08/03 at 07:14:50 |
| [slm] (((((((hugs)))))) Ukthi Dawn...may Allah swt bless you with the good of this life and the next, Ameen. Lihub-Bullah :) [wlm] :-) |
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