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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Comments on what bros think of working wives... |
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| jannah |
| 07/07/03 at 16:06:55 |
| [slm] Side comment outside the survey... lucid are u really a sister? cause how do u know all that stuff?? ;) i totally agree with you.. harsh as it is.. this is the reality of the muslim ummah and what is going on... but i don't think i'd blame it on 'religiosity'.. there are an equal number of men who want those things and are not 'religious'. In this case it seems like certain people are using Islam to justify their own personal wants yet when it comes to other things like how Islam encourages and has always encouraged women to contribute to society, those around them, etc, those points and examples are always ignored... [quote] I mean the situation sometimes seems so bad, that i ask myself -- if you have a daughter, are you better off marrying her off to someone very religious or to somebody not so religious who might not even pray regularly, but who is a nice, soft-spoken guy who has bought into the liberal humanistic ideas of the time like men and women are equal, and should be treated as such? [/quote] I know many sisters that have had to make this decision.... |
| 07/09/03 at 05:53:37 |
| jannah |
| Re: What do all of you Brothers think |
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| brother |
| 07/07/03 at 22:59:03 |
| Brother Lucid9 I think you made a good case for making a muslim man guilty of not very active in the child's life. your points are valid but they don't prove wether or not a wife should work or not. what you are saying is muslim man needs to give more time to home and kids. |
| Re: What do all of you Brothers think |
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| Nomi |
| 07/08/03 at 06:42:00 |
| [slm] lucid9 wrote [quote] (a) women are best suited to take care of the home and children, (b) women are obligated by Allah to make the home her first priority, (c) women should sacrifice themselves to make the home a deen-friendly and deen active place. [/quote] There is nothing wrong in that! oh and men should do that do... lucid9 wrote [quote] Because, it is often hard to trust very, very religious boys. They may easily treat your daughter unfairly in the name of religion, because of a certain ideological bent, or because of the special religious group they hand around with. [/quote] Who to trust then, not-so-religious guys? Who are these guys btw, um.. let see "not-so-religious" sounds like those who fail in religion in some areas, which areas? Now this is an interesting question coz as they fail in deen in "some" areas so it'll negatively affect the akhirah and dunya of the whole family coz children will be brought up in a house where the head is failing in deen in "some" areas (not-so-religious). lucid9 wrote [quote] I guess the real thing is -- you cannot trust very religious men because they are often so incredibly ignorant about what is real islam. [/quote] Pardon!! I see some variance within this statement. Very religious men ARE the ones who know what real islam is. (I pray in Allah that he helps me be one) lucid9 wrote [quote] from wild to hyper religious. And when they do this, it is very difficult for them to understand what the middle path is [/quote] There is a funny side of it as well as there are ppl who think that the "middle path" is 2.5 prayers a day !! lucid9 wrote [quote] then they should marry young nubile undeducated women -- not the super cool sisters out there with lots of degrees, brains and sophistication. [/quote] uneducated women? are u talking about rural areas of some third world country! To me many sisters with not so many degrees and just a simple graduation are more super cool and sophisticated coz they are not proudy, if you know what i mean... and i'm NOT saying that all of em having lots of degrees are proudy. brother wrote [quote] I think you (lucid9) made a good case for making a muslim man guilty of not very active in the child's life. your points are valid but they don't prove wether or not a wife should work or not. what you are saying is muslim man needs to give more time to home and kids. [/quote] You got him right, all of us men should devote time to our kids and should give our wives a helping hand. Now my answer for the original Q? WE (she and i) will say NO for her working in some office with men. why? coz inshAllah all our needs will get fulfilled without her working anywhere (ameen), no compromises. BUT I would sure want/encourage my wife to be a doctor (for females and or kids) or a teacher (for females and or kids) and encourage her to do it for dawah purposes. Apart from that, i'll be more than happy if she can help other women in the community as well. We (she and i) will also keep a regular check that whether or not this strategy is affecting the brought up of our kids negatively and if it is then we'll adjust our timings accordingly. If for some reason things dont fall in place then i'll take all the pain for providing PLUS taking care of the kids and let her stay at home without overburdening her by asking her to work outside as well coz money isn't everything. [slm] Asim Zafar. PS: Lucid9: either Mr. Bean himself or his likes are back ;) |
| 07/08/03 at 11:40:57 |
| Nomi |
| Re: What do all of you Brothers think |
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| Yousef |
| 07/08/03 at 11:30:10 |
| [quote]and if they are at all unsure, then they should marry young nubile undeducated women -- not the super cool sisters out there with lots of degrees, brains and sophistication. [/quote] I don't see why you keep linking education to not being a housewife, some of my female relatives have, walAlhumdillah BS and PhD degrees. But when it comes to the housework, they are miserable. SubhanaAllah, you seem to be degrading a wife for being in the house. Infact, your whole post is absurd. Many men in Muslim-populated countries and this is the majority here. Would force their wives to go out and work, and take their money. On what basis are you speaking here, my friend. As for the first question, posted by silverose. No my wife doesn't work, but she is capable of working, she has a high degree. It is like a backup in case I die or fall ill, then she will have to go out and work. But since I'm around, she is not working. |
| Re: What do all of you Brothers think |
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| jannah |
| 07/08/03 at 14:02:30 |
| [wlm] I think the point is, why don't certain men encourage their wives to be more than mothers and housewives? I mean how many years is a woman actually giving birth. What about her life before children or her life when the children are grown, and what about women who do not have children? Are they worthless then unless they have children or are revolving their life around their husband? I think we just need to recenter our lives back to Allah. A woman's first duty is to Allah, and taking care of her home and family comes out of that, same as a man's. But her life is not all about just having children and cooking and cleaning. It saddens me to see very active educated women who are relegated to the home when they get married when they could be using their talents to benefit the ummah and WITHOUT detriment to their home life. I see aunties in my community whose pursuits seem to be shopping, dinner parties and traveling. Those seem to be encouraged by the husband, but trying to help the community, helping out in the school or being active in any other way isn't. Lucid is right, if it's not selfishness what is it? btw IF someone changes their id (unless they are banned) i think ppl should leave him/her alone and not harass them about it |
| Re: What do all of you Brothers think |
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| Nomi |
| 07/08/03 at 14:23:12 |
| [slm] [quote author=jannah link=board=bro;num=1057556235;start=0#13 date=07/08/03 at 14:02:30]btw IF someone changes their id (unless they are banned) i think ppl should leave him/her alone and not harass them about it [/quote] With all due respect sis jannah, i would rather call that a welcome gesture. Let me rephrase for a better understanding..... "welcome who ever you are"..... brother to brother! |
| 07/08/03 at 14:25:48 |
| Nomi |
| Re: Comments on what Brothers think on 'working' |
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| brother |
| 07/08/03 at 19:27:30 |
| [quote]"welcome who ever you are"..... brother to brother![/quote] r u referring to me? |
| Re: Comments on what Brothers think on 'working' |
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| jannah |
| 07/08/03 at 23:38:35 |
| [slm] Just a note that since this is a public message board, it's difficult for a single poster to limit who posts what. I've split out the comments on silverrose's request because i don't think we can expect people not to respond to a controversial topic. I think in the future if ppl want only certain ppl to respond they should email them or ask them to email their response privately, because it just goes against board ethics to allow only certain people/gender to respond. I hope y'all understand |
| 07/08/03 at 23:39:59 |
| jannah |
| Re: Comments on what Brothers think on 'working' |
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| Nomi |
| 07/09/03 at 07:33:54 |
| [slm] [quote author=brother link=board=bro;num=1057697871;start=0#6 date=07/08/03 at 19:27:30] r u referring to me?[/quote] originally, no, now, yes :) |
| Re: What do all of you Brothers think |
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| Fozia |
| 07/10/03 at 10:02:46 |
| [quote author=brother link=board=bro;num=1057556235;start=0#5 date=07/07/03 at 22:45:20]If the issue came up, this is what I'll tell her InshAllah "home and kids is your responsibility, outside is mine. Take care of the home and the kids and then if you feel like working too, your choice ;-)" [/quote] [slm] I'm probably putting my foot in it again, but you might like to remember a wife is your companion your soul mate... not your unpaid skivvy. My husband helps out with the housework it makes him no less a man and increases my love for him, when one goes out to work one finishes work when one is a SAHM one is on the job 24/7, think about it... wasalaam |
| 07/10/03 at 10:03:19 |
| Fozia |
| Re: Comments on what bros think of working wives.. |
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| Rameeza |
| 07/10/03 at 22:10:30 |
| , [slm] I so so agree with Fozia. My mom says that when a man becomes older he retires from work but a wife never retires from being a house wife until her death or due to a serious disability. Sad but true and its people who say, "home and kids is your responsibility, outside is mine. " that this is true. |
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