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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| Abdullaah |
| 07/11/03 at 01:18:32 |
| [slm] All you brothers may think I'm whack for this but I have a little problem. You see, I am interested in this man, he's a nice guy who's pretty religious, he also works at the same place as me. I don't think he has any idea that I really like him (God, I hope not, how embarassing would that be) but I have for such a long time and I would like to get to know him better, maybe even talk about the future...(marriage). So, I'm here writing this to you guys so you can give me your opinions on how to approach the situation in a way that isn't too aggressive, besides you guys would probably be able to predict his reaction since it is in a male point of view. Anyway, I seriously hope you can help me out here. Jazaak Allaah Khayr -Layla |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| theOriginal |
| 07/11/03 at 04:14:45 |
| [slm] You're a sis, right? Just needed confirmation...the nick is a little...well...misleading. Wasalaam. |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/11/03 at 21:09:17 |
| [slm] She's a Sis. And sis, ch ch ch.....c'mon woman? You shouldn't be acting that way. What's up? One word...Muslimah. Abdullah=servant of Allah. Know that saying, "You can look but you can't touch." In our case....you can't even look. Lower your gaze, maybe he'll see how much of a good Muslimah you are and then persue you. If so...shy away and tell him to talk to your mahram. Ma-asalaama..... |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| Abdullaah |
| 07/12/03 at 00:29:40 |
| [slm] Yes my nick may be a little misleading but you know what, it's the truth, I am the slave of God, all muslims are, right. Anyways, for the person who last replied, it's okay if you are interested in marriage to look or even talk to the man that you have in mind and vice versa, I mean, how do you think married couples meet, seriously. Anyway, yes, I am very shy and the last thing I would ever do is tell him to talk to my mahram. Damn, no wonder proposals are left for men to make. Thanks for your help anyway. Jazaak Allaah Khayr |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/12/03 at 14:42:56 |
| I would suggest that you first find information about the person involed, perhaps through the company that both of you are working at, through your friends or other contacts. As you say that he is 'pretty religious', then you probably can get some information about him through the local mosque if one is in the vicinity. If the results are satisfactory you may want to ask your wali to contact the potential spouse to find out whether he would be interested in marriage, evaluate whether he would be a good spouse for you, and exchange some information with him. If at some point you need to talk with him, make sure your mahram is with you because he is not your mahram yet. Before proceeding I would sincerely advise you to pray istakhara and make sincere dua. Also please do not get too close to the other person. It may be that either party rejects marriage and you do not want to be affected in any way, emotionally, psychologically or otherwise. You are welcome to take the above advise or disregard it. Some marriage related questions are posted on www.islamqa.com /Just a brother in Islam |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| Yousef |
| 07/12/03 at 18:48:53 |
| You could change your username to, AmatuAllaah...It's the female wording of AbdulAllaah... :) |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| Sunnah |
| 07/13/03 at 13:26:29 |
| [slm] "Damn, no wonder proposals are left for men to make."- sis Abdullah you are right in some sense...its just too bad for us...no wonder lots of girls are unhappy when they marry someone they didn't even see... there just need to be a way... [wlm] |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/14/03 at 02:39:07 |
| [slm] "it's okay if you are interested in marriage to look or even talk to the man that you have in mind and vice versa," Huh? Where was I when they taught that in Islamic school? "how do you think married couples meet, seriously." One way, mom introduced me to him and since I wasn't going to marry anyone I didn't like, I asked her if I could meet with him more to get to know him. Both parents agreed and he as well to do just that but we were never alone. But Allahu Alim....Best of luck to you sister. Ma-asalaama.... |
| Re: PLEASE HELP!!! |
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| theOriginal |
| 07/14/03 at 08:28:52 |
| [slm] You still need to involve a mahram...you can't do without one. Maybe you can get a married sister you trust to get her husband to pressure the guy. (lol...i'm sorry that sounds funny to me, but you know what I mean.) Seriously that's the best strategy. And then if he never approaches your family you'll know he's not interested. If he's a "pretty religious guy" and YOU approach him...he might just run away. Guys are kinda weird like that. I know because I have an older bro and like 6000 cousins (exaggeration). He has to feel like it was HIS idea to approach you, not yours. Also, just relax, chix. (I can't believe I'm dispensing marriage advice. You can have my advice, I don't use it anyway ;)) Best of luck. Wasalaam. |
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