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| An interesting hadith |
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| BroHanif |
| 07/15/03 at 19:19:15 |
| Salaams, Today I came across this hadith and I couldn't help but think hmmm now isn't that the case at times yet before you read the hadith please bear in mind that I'm researching the topic and don't judge me as a jerk or an idiot. I'm just seeing whether this is the case or not.... The hadith is: Narrated Ibn Abbas: The Prophet [saw] said: "I was shown the Hell-Fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful". It was asked, "Do the disbelieve in Allah?" ( or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favours and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you." Sahih Bukahri 1:28 Interesting isn't it ?. Salaams Hanif |
| NS |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/15/03 at 20:20:04 |
| [slm] Why is it interesting? It's true. I believe it. How many wives are ungreatful to their husbands especially those with more than 1 wife. ;D And the women will overwhelm the world in the future (probably started already) where there will be 7 women for each man. Because of this, I beleive that women will fight to get a husband and that they will fight each other when their husband has more than one wife. And because of this, us women are more careful as to not displease our husband (when it's deserved) and never displease Allah (SWT). When I say deserved...I mean when our husbands treat us well. If the husband is bad and abusive the to He** with them. Cause I've known a few who does not deserve a good Muslim woman. I've also known women who are ungreatful to good husbands. More women then men though, unfortunately. Let Allah (SWT) take care of them. Allahu Alim..... Ma-asalaama.... |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| Abu_Hamza |
| 07/15/03 at 21:44:25 |
| [slm] First, a few disclaimers: 1. This post is not directed towards Bro. Hanif, may Allah (awj) reward him for sharing the hadith with us. All authentic ahadith are words of Rasulullah (saw) as he uttered them, and we - as believers - should show our utmost reverence to them by absorbing them and implementing them in our lives. They are gems in the truest sense of that word because they help us mould our lives to gain the pleasure of our Lord and to fulfill our duty of uboodiyyah towards Him. 2. This post is not a critique of this thread. It is simply a few comments that I felt I should make because of what *some* people (particularly brothers) may understand from this hadith, and because of the way *some* people (particularly brothers) may apply this hadith and other ahadith similar to it. Too often it is the case, unfortunately, that we tend to focus on the shortcomings of each other rather than ourselves. This happens in all spheres of life including families, communities and nations. A man is often quick to look at another man and say, "you need to correct this and that about yourself" without realizing his own self is in more urgent need of his attention. Imam al-Ghazali (rahimahullah) once gave the parable of a man who sits next to his companion, and is busy waving away some anoying flies that keep flying towards the face of his companion. Meanwhile, there are tens of poisonous scorpions crawling all over his own clothes, ready to bite him to death. What would you call this man, if not foolish? We, as husbands and wives, need to pay more attention to *our* duties towards our spouses than *their* duty towards us. If we all did what is required from us, then wouldn't that solve all the problems? We men - before we begin to take note of what our wives are lacking in their duties towards us - must ask ourselves these questions: have we fulfilled our duties towards our wives that are due upon us? If we have, then we need to realize that it is *not* from our own doing, but a *tremendous* blessing from Allah (awj) - and we need to busy ourselves in thanking Him for it. And if we truly know what that shukr entails, we will not reach death before we finish offering our gratitude to Him (swt). And if we have not fulfilled our duties to perfection (which I would argue comprises the majority of us), then let us focus on what is required from *us* before we point out to our wives all that they need to be doing. Let us take care of our own scorpions, before we worry about waving away the flies that harm our companions. Let us put the mask on our *own* face first, before we put it on the person sitting next to us, because this plane of life is not going anywhere but down. So brothers, please do not take such ahadith and use them as weapons to attack your wives. Please be more introspective. Those ahadith are really for *women* to read, for their own self-improvement, not for *us* to point them out to them in a humiliating manner! (Man to his wife: "Look at this hadith, does that remind you of someone? You, maybe!?" ::)) If your wife is completely ignorant, and doesn't know what she needs to do, and needs help, then please talk to her gently and with wisdom. AFTER, of course, you have perfected your own duties towards her. And I know I don't need to say to the sisters that all of the above applies to them as well :) Wallahu ta'aala a'lam. Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. |
| 07/15/03 at 21:49:44 |
| Abu_Hamza |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| AbdulBasir |
| 07/16/03 at 18:13:10 |
| [slm] Mashallah Abu Hamza, excellent post!...permit me to add a redundant thought or two, with your two same disclaimers :) There is a definite need for more dissemination of classical commentaries of ahadith, because like the Qur'an, if we do not recognize the circumstances, context and meanings of these texts, as understood by the scholars, then we often can tend to get the wrong idea or spirit of the hadith, which may even lead us to error. It is like the one who reads the hadith about the Prophet [saw] not responding to the salaam of someone wearing a gold ring and then goes out and thinks they are "applying the sunnah" by going out and being rude and dismissive to people, when they don't understand the depth of the hadith, its circumstances, context, legal, and non-legal rulings. That being said... One of the interesting thing in this narration, is that it, like many other transmissions of this same narration, qualify and specify the one included amongst those in the Hellfire. They are not assigned to the Hellfire because they were women, but because they exhibited a quality of poor eeman and character, a lack of gratitude that is so marked that if a husband was to do good to his wife their entire marriage and slipped up just once, she would say that he's never been good at all! This, clearly, is a severe form of ingratitude and selfishness that would be an abomination in any human being. And this lack of gratitude is the key, as Abu Hamza touched on. But gratitude to whom? Is it gratitude to the husband? No. Indeed, we should show gratitude to those who bestow favors on us, but why do we do that? We do that because the one who does not give thanks to others, will not give thanks to Allah; this concept is found in its meaning in several narrations from the Prophet [saw]. So the lack of gratitude is not ultimately to the husband, who is the means of providing provision and kind treatment, but rather to Allah. These women described above are ungrateful to Allah and that is why they are being ultimately punished. For a lack of shukr (gratitude) to Allah is a characteristic of the ones destined for the hellfre and is a characteristic of disbelief. The believer, as the Prophet[saw] has said, is either in a state of sabr or shukr (some might add a third state which is complementary to these two, a state of tawba). These people described in this hadith are not in any of these states; they are ungrateful to Allah for what He has given them, which entails a condemnation of Allah and His Qadar. The one who condemns the Qadar of Allah exhibits a lack of sabr and denies an article of eeman. And the one who is in neither in a state of sabr or shukr and doesn't realize his or her error will not be one who seeks repentance and forgiveness from Allah. So this is an issue of eeman, or lack thereof. In marriage or any relationship, all of us, men and women, are just asbaab (means) by which Allah SWT may grant His favors, provisions and mercy to others. And it is this issue that should caution men from "using" these hadith for a certain wordly objective. There is a difference between the one who should be grateful and the one who is deserving of gratitude. As human beings, as slaves of Allah SWT, we can only be of the former, for the latter condition only applies to Allah SWT, who is the only one deserving of praise and gratitude. Yes, we may recognize the means Allah SWT has used and treat those means accordingly, for it can foster in us virtues and characteristics that will promote our gratitude and obedience to Allah SWT, but we must never lose sight of the source, Allah SWT. If we lose sight of Allah and focus merely on the means, then we will fall into disbelief! And frankly, if certain men quote certin ahadith and what not, as if to say "Show gratitude to me" or "See what [i]I[/i] do for you and how ungrateful you are", then they are perilously close to falling into (if they haven't already) a state of self-exaltation because the true servant of Allah will never seek to be exalted or thanked, for the servant of Allah knows he neither creates nor provides nothing, for all is from Allah and all we do is for Allah. The one who seeks gratitude implicitly is saying that he is something more than a slave of Allah and deserving of praise. And this, God forbid, may lead one to a path of disbelief. So one wonders what might be worse, the one who does not show gratitude to Allah for favors bestowed upon them (which entails appropriate behavior to the means of that favor, if any) or the one who desires gratitude for him/herself for a favor that Allah granted someone else through them when they are but simply the lowly means by which Allah bestowed that favor? For sure, both types of people exhibit serious deficiences in both eeman and akhlaaq and Allah knows best. Marriage is not just a worldy undertaking, it is a crucial part and test of each spouse's relationship [i]with Allah[/i]. That is why marriage is part of eeman; that is why the best in faith are the best in akhlaaq, and the best men with the best eeman are the best to their wives. And conversely, that is why a tyrannical husband will be included amongst the tyrants on the Day of Judgement, and that is why the ungrateful wife, who is therefore ungrateful to Allah, will be punished. Inshallah let us not forget who we are. We are slaves of Allah and nothing else. He is deserving of all praise and all gratitude. We are, at best, means through which his Favors may be passed on others. The minute we forget that, we will fall towards disbelief, just as the ungrateful one does. May Allah reward Br Hanif, Trustworthy and Abu Hamza for their contributions to the thread. Please forgive me for any breach of adab by posting this and may Allah lead us all to the proper understanding. [slm]:) |
| 07/16/03 at 18:14:56 |
| AbdulBasir |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/16/03 at 19:27:07 |
| Ameen and well said brothers. I agree 100%, of course, who wouldn't? People are so into this dunya that they forget about the eternity and Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala). May Allah (SWT) have mercy on us all and guide us rightly. Ameen. Ma-asalaama.... |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 07/16/03 at 19:37:05 |
| [slm] wa rahmatulahi wa barakatahu wow mash'Allah that was really very good. jazak Allahu kair brothers Abu Hamza and Abdul Basir. I would really learn so much if you two brothers would post more. Infact I request you two to post more. may Allah (swt) guide us all. your sister |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| BrKhalid |
| 07/17/03 at 13:44:17 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote]We are, at best, means through which his Favors may be passed on others. The minute we forget that, we will fall towards disbelief, just as the ungrateful one does.[/quote] Just thought the above was worth saying again ;-) Thought provoking posts guys. Jazakhallah khair for sharing ;-) |
| 07/17/03 at 13:45:10 |
| BrKhalid |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| M.F. |
| 07/19/03 at 14:25:54 |
| Assalamu alaikum, I felt compelled to comment on this, in response to Br Hanif's original post, and thought it was interesting that he's researching the topic, and that it's an interesting topic to research. I can only speak for myself, and perhaps or one other person I know well enough to know they were the same way. When I was first married, I thought about this hadeeth a lot, because it described me to a certain extent. My husband was nothing but good to me, but it was never enough, I believe I wanted him completely to myself, so if he had too much work, or if he was spending time with a friend, or was late or something like that, these thoughts kept going through my mind: You're ALWAYS late, I NEVER get to see you, you're ALWAYS this way or that way. Bear in mind, I never told him that, so at least I never said "I've never seen anything good from you", it was all going on in my head. One step further, if I'd verbalized it, I would have been one of those women that the hadeeth described, and that scared me a lot, because in my heart I was already quite ungrateful... let's say I was resentful, a lot of the time. Bear in mind, he was fulfilling all his duties towards me as best he could, but I was still ungrateful. I think that because of this hadeeth I trained myself to get out of this mindset, and whenever my brain starts going: He always..... I change my thoughts and start thinking: Al hamdu lillah, he's SO good to me in every other way, and this is just one thing that happened. There, that's the honest truth :) I'd really like to hear about Br Hanif's research on the topic. |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| lucid9 |
| 07/19/03 at 17:25:58 |
| [slm] Gosh, that's pretty scary. You mean if someone's husband is blameless, his wife who otherwise is a wonderful muslim lady, may pick on him for no reason? :o Are you saying that women are often that irrational? :o Not my experience, but if its true, you should warn all the guys out there who are eagarly wanting to get married. They might then think twice about it. :D |
| Re: An interesting hadith |
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| WhiteSomali |
| 07/19/03 at 22:11:55 |
| [slm] ;D Sorry if I say sum'in stupid or repeat sumfin, I ain read ta whole thread yet. [QUOTE] And the women will overwhelm the world in the future (probably started already) where there will be 7 women for each man. [/QUOTE] Actually the minor sign of the last day is that there'll be like 50 women for every man. My best guess would be that such a disbalance in numbers would be caused by a war. Wow that was a short post anyway... [slm] |
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