A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Paying the (dowry) price |
|---|
| jaihoon |
| 07/19/03 at 00:15:34 |
| India's dowry deaths By Lucy Ash BBC Crossing Continents reporter When Nisha Sharma had her groom arrested for demanding cash from her family, she put India's illegal - but thriving - dowry system in the spotlight. But other women have paid a very high price, sometimes even with their lives. Nisha Sharma's phone never stops ringing and her mantelpiece is crowded with awards and invitations. Sundurahma said her husband poured kerosene over her and told her to die, doctors told me she would not last the week Young women call her for advice and she has received dozens of proposals from men willing to marry her without a dowry. A few months ago Nisha was just an ordinary 21-year-old from Noida, just outside Delhi. Slim, pretty and barely five feet tall, she makes an unlikely rebel. But in India her decision to send her groom packing after he asked for an extra $25,000 in dowry payment was seen as revolutionary. The groom, Munish Dalal, seemed like a good match. Nisha's father had found him through a newspaper advertisement. At first the groom and his family said they were not interested in any money or presents - they just wanted Nisha. Paying and accepting dowry has been illegal in India for 40 years but it is still rampant. Nisha's father bought the couple a brand new car and dozens of household appliances. Nisha had her groom arrested after he demanded a dowry On the big day, however, Munish and his mother Vidya suddenly demanded a cash dowry. "When I said I didn't have that kind of money, they slapped and spat on me," said Mr Sharma. Nisha immediately called the police who arrested Munish and his mother under the rarely enforced 1961 Anti-Dowry Act. Both are in prison awaiting trial. Nisha has no regrets: "My dad nearly had a heart attack and had to lie on the grass. Since they treated him so badly they probably would have done the same to me, or worse," she said. "Now I've seen how greedy and cruel they are, I'm relieved Nisha is safe. If she'd married into that family they might have killed her." said her father. Indian Government statistics show that husbands and in-laws killed nearly 7,000 women in 2001 over inadequate dowry payments. Bangalore's main hospital admits three to five fatal burns cases daily 'Bride burning' Ranjana Kumari, who runs seven domestic violence refuge centres for women in Delhi, believes up to 70 cases a month are linked to rows over dowry. "Sometimes women are tortured to squeeze more money out of their families and in extreme cases they're killed. Then the husband is free to remarry and get another dowry," she said. This type of murder is often called "bride burning" in India. Another women's group called Vimochana, based in the southern city of Bangalore, estimates that three to five women are taken to the Victoria burns unit at the city hospital every day suffering from massive burns. The latest arrival is a young woman called Sundurahma who has 70% burns. She screams for her mother as the doctor forces her to sit up so he can examine the raw flesh on her back. The only part of her body which is not badly burned are her feet. I notice a silver ring on one of her toes and immaculate nail polish. "What can the government do?" asks the home affairs minister Sundurahma said her husband poured kerosene over her and told her to die. Doctors told me she would not last the week. In the hospital, there is another woman who has a crumpled photograph of her baby daughter on the pillow next to her head. Asha has been married 18 months. She tells us that her husband took all her gold jewellery and then wanted money, so she went into the kitchen and drenched herself in kerosene. At first she said he handed her the matches but then she changes her story and said the matchbox was empty. Female foeticide Dowries have become such a burden that many families are desperate to avoid having girls. Pregnant women can determine the sex of the baby and abort the female foetuses with ultrasound technology. Indian legislation Dowry Prohibition Act 1961 (amended in 1984 and 1986): bans paying and receiving dowries Pre-Natal Diagnostics Techniques (Regulation and Prevention of Misuse) 1994 (amended 2002): bans sex determination tests The 2001 census showed there are just 933 women for every 1,000 men in India. Legislation against sex determination tests was passed nearly a decade ago, but the practice is still widespread. Yet ID Swami, minister of state for home affairs, seemed unclear about his own laws. He told me that sex determination tests are legal, then changed his mind, finally saying: "The husbands are in agreement about this, so are the wives and if there are no complaints then what can the government do?" Nisha Sharma has sparked a new mood of defiance among Indian women. Several brides have followed her and reported their greedy grooms to the police. "Nisha did a great thing because the dowry system is one of the worst things in our country and it is growing uglier by the day," one said. |
| 07/19/03 at 05:54:17 |
| Kathy |
| Re: Paying the (dowry) price |
|---|
| WhiteSomali |
| 07/20/03 at 05:17:55 |
| [slm] Ohh my goodness this is one of the most retarded things I've heard in my life. AstaghfirAllah how can people do such stupid things. What's India's Muslim population, 10%? I shiver to think that some Muslim men and their families may be doing such horrible horrible acts. I'm constantly amazed at the state the world is in. It's getting to the point where it's almost on a daily basis that I go, omg the world is sooo STUPID don't these people have any common sense/morals???????? [slm] |
| Re: Paying the (dowry) price |
|---|
| Potato |
| 08/02/03 at 14:04:16 |
| [slm] Is it muslims who are doing this? I don't think so since in Islam, the dowry is paid to the bride, not the groom. And I thought bride-burning happens only among hindus. Correct me if I'm wrong. [slm] |
| Re: Paying the (dowry) price |
|---|
| Lana |
| 08/02/03 at 14:44:35 |
| [quote author=Potato link=board=sis;num=1058584534;start=0#2 date=08/02/03 at 14:04:16] [slm] Is it muslims who are doing this? I don't think so since in Islam, the dowry is paid to the bride, not the groom. And I thought bride-burning happens only among hindus. Correct me if I'm wrong. [slm][/quote] [wlm] Muslims comprise about 12% of the population in India, thats over 140 million. Yes these horrible crimes occur among Muslims too, I'm sure you've heard of acid burning as well, since thats received a lot of media attention, last year I believe there was an Oprah show on it, about girls in Bangladesh who had been burned. It seems the custom in India among many Muslims has become that the bride must pay a huge dowry to the groom, its almost as if they are buying a husband, highest bidder "wins." The grooms family might demand more as well, cars, apartment, household appliances etc. This is nothing new, its been going on for a long time. Sometimes engagements break off b/c the grooms family demands more. And it doesn't just happen among the lower class, even the wealthy seek spouses who will give them a lot. I'm sure this goes on in many parts of the Muslim world though. |
| Re: Paying the (dowry) price |
|---|
| timbuktu |
| 08/02/03 at 19:42:53 |
| [slm] getting dowry from the bride's family was a Hindu custom from where it has passed to the Muslims of the sub-continent, as have other Hindu customs. If you examine the activities in engagement & marriage, it seems that the two parties are in a race to show who has more money to burn & more time (of others) to waste. The (greater) brunt of the financial burden falls on the bride's father/ guardian, but both parties feel it. The spread of Indian films has increased the number of ways & the outlay in such wasteful activities, which is forbidden, but muslims just refuse to follow the Deen. To make up for these losses, people have to look for extra income, which they find in further "haram" activities. because of this burden, girls often cross the age when they look physically attractive to the man's female relatives, & are passed over for younger ones. In the Arab world, the reverse is true. Here the bridegroom has to pay for everything, so men have to wait a long time before getting married. The Afghans & Pathans have the same custom. In India the burning of brides to death started perhaps 20-30 years ago, & was initially limited to Hindus, but it has even crossed over to Pakistan. The usual method is to douse the poor girl with kerosine oil, & light a match. The excuse given is that the kerosine stove used for cooking exploded. It is always the new bride who is a victim of such "explosion", never the bridegroom's mother or sister. These are often the inciters & active participants in this hideous crime. The police are only interested in the money they can make, so i havn't heard of a single case being tried in courts. Visiting my mother several years ago, i caught a glimpse of a lady who looked liked she had all the world's sorrow in her face. She was a patient of my sister. On asking, my sister told me that this was a rich woman whose daughter (not even 20), was burnt to death by her husband. The daughter had a baby, & had been fufilling the demands of the husband by going to her parents, but this last time, she felt she shouldn't ask her parents, & was punished with death by burning. Although she had expessed a wish that her child be brought up by her parents, the murderer took away the baby as well, perhaps thinking that this way he will be able to milk his in-laws. The parents wanted to go to the police, but the girl's uncle thought their business would suffer for publicity, so he pressured the poor mother into shutting up. i cant forget that mother's face which personified sorrow. |
| 08/05/03 at 03:02:47 |
| timbuktu |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |