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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Sweet Bro. |
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| Fozia |
| 07/20/03 at 05:14:30 |
| [slm] This happened to me a while back, and I thought hey I have to post this on the board as it sort of disproved a thread going by br. Mr. Bean before he hung himself (btw has he really gone???) .. Anyways I thought I'd put it up now as imho Brothers have been getting a bit of bad press at the moment... OK to get this you have to understand I wear jilbab, abaya, hijaab everything, and at the moment sunny Essex is actually very sunny and yet my wardrobe consists entirely of black ::) So on this particular day my ickle sisters decided to pay me a visit, or rather Fatima Zohra was getting a visit from her aunts and I was providing refreshment! This forced me to go out and buy... well junk type of food as my fridge consists of juice and vegetables only. As general rule I usually put off going to the shops, as the part of Essex I live in consists of mainly children and sheep...(OK I might be exaggerating the sheep to children ratio a tiny bit.... we also have horses) But today I had to go as I regarded this as an emergency, so I strapped the baby carrier with the baby onto me and I went shopping. It's before Zohar but the temperature was like 32 degrees centigrade. By the time I got on the bus back to my house I was melting (Fatima Zohra meanwhile is holding a cooing type conversation with her fist). I was soo tired by this point as baby is getting heavy (I am going to have to start using the pram soon), that I headed towards the only empty seat available, which is incidentally occupied by a brother. When I got to the seat (there is very little leg room in front on buses over here) the brother leant over and took the shopping from my hand so I sat down and asked for my shopping back, he said no it's OK I'll hold it for you. Then he sat with my shopping balanced on his knee and didn't say a word to me or look at me till he had to get off, at which point he made sure I was properly esconced in my seat with baby and shopping and told me to take care Wasalaam, when he left I was like :'( I may have been overly tired but my experience with the male gender in this country has never lead me to be overly expectant of their assistance. However the main point to this looong ramble was a brother helped me, see they can be sweet and considerate, because there wasn't anything in it for the brother, except the duaas I make for him when I pray... It seriously did mean a lot to me... Wasalaam |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| Kathy |
| 07/20/03 at 13:14:27 |
| [slm] Subhannah Allah... I have met Sweet Bro's too! What a difference they make in our day to day lives. I can't tell you how many times I have appreciated an 'as salaamu alaykum' from an unknown brother when I least expected it. The other day was particularly hard day and a brother, whom was not recognizable as a Muslim, passed by and gave salaams. Subhanna Allah... it was a mercy. |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| sofia |
| 07/20/03 at 14:20:45 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah, Whenever some of my friends and I went grocery shopping in college, we had to walk back about a mile to our apt (no car at the time, we were just po' students). It was usually the brothers from overseas who offered us rides to our apts even if we only had a few bags. Although we rarely accepted the offer, it was always with good intentions, and may Allah reward them. One of the beautiful things about being recognized as a Muslim, is getting salaams. I mean, from sisters, brothers, Muslims, non-Muslims even (not everyone, but those that do salaam, are varied). That's always nice, mashaa'Allah. |
| 07/20/03 at 15:10:22 |
| sofia |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| lucid9 |
| 07/20/03 at 14:30:31 |
| [slm] The general experience of muslim brothers of my ilk is that if we ever offer to do something or even say salam, hijabi sisters tend to get hysterical and think we are going to rape them. Many brothers will tell you the same thing. And its not like we dress badly, look like hoods, or even look remotely threatening. Its just that muslim women tend to be pretty paranoid. Its kind of like how paranoid some people are about peadeophiles. Interesing?! |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| se7en |
| 07/20/03 at 14:41:02 |
| as salaamu alaykum, bro, there are some sisters who give that freaky look even to other *sisters* who say salaam... so g'ahead.. say [slm] and then run before anyone can call the cops on you :P wasalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah :-) |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| Al-Basha |
| 07/20/03 at 15:19:22 |
| [slm] The cops ??? Heheh anyway, yah alhamdulilah that there's good chilvarous brothers helping their sisters out. As for sayin salam to sisters, well where I'm at it's considered 'flirting' ::) Say salam to a sis and next thing you know all her mahram's are at your door with very large guns. Cops? Heh I'd say you'd have more to worry about than that :P [quote author=se7en link=board=sis;num=1058688870;start=0#4 date=07/20/03 at 14:41:02]as salaamu alaykum, so g'ahead.. say [slm] and then run before anyone can call the cops on you :P [/quote] |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| sofia |
| 07/20/03 at 15:35:16 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah, [i]Btw-I modified my original post, since I realized it may sound offensive towards some brothers.[/i] [quote]Many brothers will tell you the same thing. [/quote] I'm almost positive I would be one of those brothers (if I was a brother). I totally get that poem "Plight of a Muslim brother" in the Ikhwan folder. Sisters and brothers, alike, get mistaken for intending something beyond the salaam, so it's a tricky subject. But in all honesty, those who make more of a "salaam" than necessary are probably a minority. I could be wrong, since I can only go by my pool of female muslimah friends. |
| 07/20/03 at 15:36:47 |
| sofia |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 07/20/03 at 18:11:26 |
| [slm] wow mash'Allah . now these are the things I like to read. May Allah (swt) reward him and may he be an example to other brothers insh'Allah. We have to remember there are certain limits on how to deal with the opposite gender who is not mahrem but at the same time we are brothers and sisters and should be there for each other. I think this brother gave an awesome example for he did what a brother should do plus he did not start chatting with her about useless things ect. [quote]When I got to the seat (there is very little leg room in front on buses over here) the brother leant over and took the shopping from my hand so I sat down and asked for my shopping back, he said no it's OK I'll hold it for you. Then he sat with my shopping balanced on his knee and didn't say a word to me or look at me till he had to get off, at which point he made sure I was properly esconced in my seat with baby and shopping and told me to take care Wasalaam[/quote] |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| WhiteSomali |
| 07/20/03 at 18:19:39 |
| [slm] ;D (Don't misinterpret that now :D) [QUOTE] But in all honesty, those who make more of a "salaam" than necessary are probably a minority.[/QUOTE] I hope yuh right, ya'll scarin me here with these stories :D [QUOTE] And its not like we dress badly, look like hoods, or even look remotely threatening.[/QUOTE] That's not an issue here I don think, not with all sistaz at least. They don care if we dress like thugz ;D [QUOTE]so g'ahead.. say [slm] and then run before anyone can call the cops on you [/QUOTE] The popos ain got nuffin on us 8) I agree wit bra Al-Basha, violent Mahrams are scarier. [slm] |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| Nomi |
| 07/20/03 at 18:28:36 |
| [slm] But those who think that saying [slm] to non-mehrams is nice only mean it for non-Muslim countries, right? coz none of you would want them (bros) to say salaam if you are in a Muslim country, no? |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| WhiteSomali |
| 07/20/03 at 18:46:19 |
| [slm] ;D [quote author=Nomi link=board=sis;num=1058688870;start=0#9 date=07/20/03 at 18:28:36][slm] But those who think that saying [slm] to non-mehrams is nice only mean it for non-Muslim countries, right? coz none of you would want them (bros) to say salaam if you are in a Muslim country, no? [/quote] Ah yea I never really took Muslim countries into consideration. Over here not everyone is Muslim, so we gotta stick together ya nah I mean? ;D [slm] |
| 07/20/03 at 18:46:50 |
| WhiteSomali |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| Caraj |
| 07/20/03 at 21:17:41 |
| Goodness, this post reminds me of a talk my hubby and I had. Hate to tell you all this is not a Muslim thing, it is a man thing and how he was raised. Were I live unless your skirt or dress or shorts are clear up to here :o and you're 15 to 19 and pretty hardly anyone holds the door open or gives up a seat for a woman. In a lot of cases you're liable to get a door in the face they are so rude. In Oklahoma and Nebraska 8 y/o to 80 y/o men open doors all the time for women no matter what you wear or what you look like or how old you are. I love going back to Oklahoma, Wyoming and nebraska, the manors there are sooooo refreshing. The first year I spent in Ok I was so impressed, twice that winter a man offered me his arm and helped me over a snow bank. Men down there still nob, say howdy and tip their hats. They also don't look you straight in the eyes in a lot of cases as a form of old fashioned respect. I think it is how a man is raised. If the parents taught them to offer a seat to a lady or elderly pr pregnet person (also one with a baby). My husband still opens the door for me also the car door and when we she refuses to allow me to carry the bags from the store to the car. hmmmmmm I miss him Anyway I bet you were thankful Fozia. Did you pray Allah would bless him for his kindness? I bet you did ;) The getting looked at funny or no response when greeting. Where I live if you do that they look at you like you're crazy. Especially the grocery store on base. We are all in the same boat (sort to speak) most with hubbys gone and you would think there would be a sisterhood, a togetherness. HECK NO !!!!!!! :( If you talk to them or talk to their children they look at you like .... Who the heck do you think you are :( In the states I mentioned above woman always smile, nod, say hello and talk to each others children and babies. So much friendlier. hmmmmmm I think it's time to go back for a visit. :-[ |
| 07/20/03 at 21:21:57 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| AyeshaZ |
| 07/22/03 at 11:51:28 |
| [quote author=azizah link=board=sis;num=1058688870;start=0#11 date=07/20/03 at 21:17:41] In Oklahoma and Nebraska 8 y/o to 80 y/o men open doors all the time for women no matter what you wear or what you look like or how old you are. I love going back to Oklahoma, Wyoming and nebraska, the manors there are sooooo refreshing.[/quote] he he yup :) holding the door open even if you are far away is sooo respectful! subhan'Allah the salamaats that are totatally unexpected are amazing!!! We have this convert bro in our Education department, who says salamz to everyone and is sooooooooo extremely helpful!! :) |
| 07/22/03 at 11:52:15 |
| AyeshaZ |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| Nabila |
| 07/22/03 at 19:00:23 |
| [slm] Meeting a helpful person really gives you a glow doesnt it? My moment? A Jamaican guy with dreadlocks down to his waist and a bright hat saw me standing on a crowded bus in the sweltering heat last summer. He immediatly got up and said, 'Yea sistah - sista look like she need a seat man'', with this big friendly grin. :D Bless him ma asalaamah and take care |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| Trustworthy |
| 07/23/03 at 00:10:34 |
| [slm] What hadeeth is it that said, when you meet a muslim, you greet him/her with Salaam. Its eaier for brothers since us Muslimahs can't tell if a brother is a brother. And the hadith continues with when a Muslim greets you with Salaam, you have to greet back with Wa-salam. That's the unity in our Ummah. Now whether the intentions are for good or bad, only the Allah and the greeter knows, but always respond, it's our duty. But here not in the Muslim countries, do you sisters get Salaams from men who aren't even Muslim? I do. It's like the new fad or something, it's weird. But from the brothers, it's always sweet sounding isn't it? I was at school with my cousin and there was this man dressed real nicely talking amongst his freinds, I geuss. As I walked by, and he said [slm] sisters. We stopped and looked and replied, [wlm]. Then he ran to open the door for us. As we went through I said, jazakhullahu khairum. He said, you're welcome and that was it, but that was so sweet. You don't forget those Salaams either b/c now-a-days Salaams are very hard to come by. Ma-asalaama.... |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| panjul |
| 07/23/03 at 00:30:06 |
| [slm] bro, there are some sisters who give that freaky look even to other *sisters* who say salaam... oh yes, i have had those too at college. I mean they will be talking in urdu or punjabi and when you say salam to them they stare at you as if they don't know what you said. Ok now get this. An elderly muslim turkish man always said salams to my friend when he passed her by at college like this: "slamau alykum honey." the first time she was shocked but she answered his salams anyway, as he didn't even look at her and passed by. She thought it must a cultural thing. He said it again and she asked him why he called her honey??? He said he thought that it was good manners to say "honey" or "sweetheart" in the US. He spoke in broken english so she judged he was farily new and was confused. but he apologized and said he will just say salams to muslim sisters. :-[ |
| Re: Sweet Bro. |
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| Sakinah |
| 08/04/03 at 12:09:18 |
| Assalum Alaikum Sisters ;D I have not had very much experience with Muslim brothers, but the one who I do have experience is now by the will of Allah My Zuweige. He is the one who called me to Islam and taught me how 2 pray. In Jahiliya I met alot of males but he was by far and still remains 2B the sweetest man I know. :-* :-* :-*Even B4 I became a Muslim he was the most respectful person I had ever met and that really made him stand out. Sorry if this is kinda off topic just wanted 2 share my experience. I thank Allah Subhana wa ta ala 4 sending me a patient and compassionate companion. |
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