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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Need your help please |
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| faith812 |
| 08/05/03 at 10:01:13 |
| Salam everyone, A relative of mine told me yesterday that he is having anxiaty attacks and it getts worst when he is around people, and it has goton to a point where he is avoiding being around people thinking everyone is looking at him and juging him. I was realy suprise because this person use to be the attention graper. I am not quite sure what to do, so if anyone can give me some advice on how I can help this person, I would appreciate very much. Jazaka-Allah for all of you, and please make a prayer for him that he gets through this. salam your sister in islam. |
| Re: Need your help please |
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| siddiqui |
| 08/05/03 at 10:08:57 |
| [slm] This is not a very uncommon thing sister, but from what I understand he needs professional help .He needs to see a psychiatrist /psychologist and maybe under go some treatment in the form of medication and councelling.Though this might sound a little extreme to you ,but in my opinion it needs to be done and Inshallah he will overcome this with a little help May Allah swt help and cure him for he is the ultimate healer, but generally(not every time though) he provides cure through a doctor/medications. [wlm] |
| 08/05/03 at 10:11:07 |
| siddiqui |
| Re: Need your help please |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 08/05/03 at 12:13:12 |
| [slm] I agree with bro siddiqui. Your relative does need professional help, either in the form of counselling, in which he can learn to deal with his anxiety or in the form of medication. You could also ask him why he feels people are judging him and what they are thinking of him. Then go through what he says and refute it, and get him to think of other ways to look at the situation. Also, he may benefit from relaxation techniques, so if he is ever in public and he starts to panic or get extremely anxious, he can deal with it. He can be taught how to relax and to breathe properly etc, which really will help him deal with his anxiety. Hope thats been of some help, wa'salaam :) |
| pyschiatrists are wack |
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| Maliha |
| 08/06/03 at 15:31:27 |
| [slm] i don't know about psychiatrists man..i me self am very very very wary about people who know nothing about the inner mechanism of the soul, trying to cure fundamental psyche problems thru' chemicals alone ::) I think as Muslims we are falling in the same void as others who have *no* other alternatives but take drugs and wallow in the numbed misery of their existence. There are many articles emerging now from Non Muslims even about the whole business of Psychiatry and drugs (pharmaceutical giants are the main profiteers)... Go to www.islamonline.net (look under Health and science) They have an amazing wealth of info such as [url=http://www.islamonline.net/english/science/2002/12/article03.shtml]Antidepressants: Solution or a Profit Margin?[/url] And others dealing with the healing effect of prayers, etc. One thing I can almost guarantee you with one who is having depression, anxiety, etc is the person has most probably left their prayers, or are straying in general from the path. A lot of this anxiety in the soul, is actually A Rahma from Allah to bring us back crawling to Him, in repentance and remorse. He is the Only Healer of the hearts. The Quran, Walhamdullillah, is another healing brought to us...Salaat, and Islam in general. Ask your cousin how his spiritual state is. If it is faltering, tell him to wake up at night, weep to Allah, repent, Read more Quran, stay up past fajr to taste the merciful sweetness of Dawn. Really struggle within his self to truly submit to Allah, and beg Him alone of forgiveness and healing... Inshaallah by His Grace He will bring him out of this state stronger than ever. At the retreat we were taught that the root of all sins is Shirk (because if we truly believed and had Tawheed in our hearts we would strive with all our might not to disobey Him) and this shirk causes a deep psychological breakdown within. I think being a Muslim who is in a disobedient state makes this psychical disease even more pronounced, since the person *knows* what they are doing is wrong..and the person persists in ignoring that little voice inside. Others can choose to go the route of drugs, to silence everything inside, and move thru life like a zombie... There are other options, better, healthier and more wholesome. May Allah grant us all shifaa (Amin). Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| Re: Need your help please |
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| Caraj |
| 08/06/03 at 15:50:52 |
| I want to share something, I hate doing it as it is private and personal, but if it helps someone then maybe I should see past my hesitancy. Mystic, I want to up front say I mean no disrespect to you and I hope you'll not feel bad about what I am about to say. I appreciate what Mystic has to say and I respect everyone has an opinion and has something to offer from their lifes experience and study. However such a thing (from my own personal experience) makes me want to say RUN THE OTHER WAY. I was very depressed and sunk deep. I was at a born again church (Baptist) where the preacher was totaly against anti depressants and even against counseling. I was badly depressed and withdrawn and kept getting told IF I GOT right with God I would not be depressed. IF I leaned on God I wouldn't need help. In true depresssion or other emotional ailments that is like telling someone with a bursted appendix if you pray hard enough you will not need medical treatment you will only need God. Depression along with other things are true chemical imbalances, meds, counseling along with life changes helps. Guilt that you are dispeasing God all the time makes it worse. Faith812, If this peron you speak of has gone from being an attention grabber to almost totally withdrawn and thinking people are looking at him and juding him (a sign of paranoa or how ever one spells it) Something is wrong here and I would advise you to advise this person to seek help. Let them know how much you care and how worried you are. Let them know you see changes in them that worry you. Then it is up to them. And I agree you cannot cure things totally with meds/chemical alone but it helps smooth things out while you work on life changes. I was on meds, weaned myself from meds to herbs while doing life changes and then was off everything. Stress triggers depression off on me and I have to keep my life in check. I have had 3 bouts of depression in 10 years and am actually going through it now. In the last 2 years I have gone through so much, death in family, moves, (where I moved all by myself) hubby away 17 out of 24 months, our business, our property, critters and much much more, stress triggers it for me. I can pray 50 times a day but that is not going to bring back my hubby, make my business run by itself, bring my grandfather back from the dead, feed and cleann the animals, etc, hopefully you understand what I am trying to say. When I recognise I am sinking I get on herbs and vits immed and take a long hard look at whats going on and change it. Mystic said...One thing I can almost guarantee you with one who is having depression, anxiety, etc is the person has most probably left their prayers, or are straying in general from the path. This may be so for mild sadness or life going upside down but severe mood and lifestyle changes warrents caution and help. I pray your friend will seek and find relief, depression and other forms of emotional upset is hard and feels like a tunnel with no way out. But there is a way out. ;) |
| 08/06/03 at 15:58:08 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Need your help please |
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| humble_muslim |
| 08/06/03 at 18:00:21 |
| AA Personal experience. No matter how close you are to Allah SWT, you can still suffer from "mental" problems. It's all in your brain chamistry. It's not psychiatral, its psychological. Tell your friend to see a professional |
| NS |
| Re: Need your help please |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 08/07/03 at 05:52:55 |
| [slm] I have to agree with Mystic to an extent. I too am weary of psychiatrists, etc, and maybe there's a better reason to be so if they are non-Muslims and don't even have an understanding of how Islaam can affect and impede on a Muslim's life. However, they do have there place. Mental Health issues can be very serious and they do exist. Sometimes yes, you're right, it may be a simple case of someone having strayed from the true path, but you have to have a distinction between such cases and severe cases which are severely affecting someone's life, and their cause may be something else entirely different. Aren't we even told in Islaam that we should seek help when we need it? We know in the glorious past of Islaam there were many prominent people who made various discoveries. These include the discovery of mental health issues. In fact, the Muslims were the first to even recoginse that issues such as depression existed, and they were the FIRST to develop a humane way of dealing with people who had such issues. They would invite such people to stay in hospitals which were specifically catered for their needs (not our modern day equivalent to 'mental hosiptals'). These places focused on each individual to see how they could be helped, and these included spiritual ways, as well as medical (herbal/drugs) methods, as well as placing an emphasis on the family's involvement and the communities, so these individual's would not feel isolated, and once they were to leave the hospitals, they would have no problems integrating back in to society. Subhan'Allaah, those days sound so nice, I wish we could all go back there and experience their knowledge and activities ourselves. Sister faith812's relative has a choice. He can either choose to take the drugs, some have been found to be extremely useful for tackling anxiety, or he can just got for counselling. He can also just take herbal supplements, or just attend classes like yoga to learn relaxation techniques. However, personally I think he needs to know what the root of his anxiety is and what's caused it, hence I would recommend counselling. Perhaps in combination with everything else. No one said he has to do any one thing in isolation from the others. There are also Islaamic spiritual methods to deal with such stuff. Maybe he can see an Imaam alongside a counsellor/therapist. You can also find many Muslim counsellors nowadays (they are on the increase mash'Allaah). I've just read a really good book on Islaamic contemplation, which recommends people to say certain Islaamic terms when comtemplating, such as 'subhan'Allaah', 'Allaah', the shahahda, etc. Perhaps the relative can say such a term if he feels he's going to start to have a panic attack, to try and calm him down. Myabe he can learn and recite various surahs of the Qur'aan that we know are meant to help in certain situations. Also, one last thing, does he go and pray in congregation? If he does, does he start to panic there and think people are talking about him/looking at him? Sometimes the best thing to do is to face your anxiety-provoking situations head on. If he feels that people are talking or looking, it may well be good if he does pray in congregation, because he'll be surrounded by other people. Insha'Allaah if he knows he can be around many people in a mosque or wherever he chooses to pray, this can give him the confidence that if he can manage okay there, then surely he can manage ok anywhere else. Please forgive me if I've managed to offend anyone and for the length of this wa'salaam |
| 08/07/03 at 05:57:34 |
| salaampeaceshalom |
| Re: Need your help please |
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| BrKhalid |
| 08/07/03 at 09:49:29 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum Sr faith may Allah help your relative through this difficult time. I can’t really say more than that but I did want to touch on the depression part of this thread. [hr] When I was younger this verse always used to confuse me: O ye who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for God is with those who patiently persevere[2:153] How could I seek help by praying if that was what I was finding it difficult to do in the first place??? It was like the chicken and the egg to me. Which comes first? Over time though the mystery started to unravel itself…. The Arabic word “sabr” is usually translated in English as “patience”. From that we get the sense of persevering through trails and afflictions that befall us and accepting Allah’s decree. As the saying goes “patience is a virtue”. However, over time I learnt that in Arabic the word “sabr” also has two other meanings. The first implies a commitment to carry on doing good deeds and literally driving oneself towards good in circumstances when one may not want to do so. Hence one is “patient” in waking up for Fajr every morning even though one may want to sleep that extra few minutes. The other revolves around a restraining force and the ability to prevent oneself from doing bad, again, in circumstances when one may want to do so. Hence, one is “patient” in not approaching places where alcohol is served since doing so is just as Haram [forbidden] as drinking it itself. Thus when you puts all three forces together: The driving force The restraining force The persevering force you get the full extent of what “patience” or “sabr” really means. When I understood this concept, it clicked. You see I had always focused on the first part of the verse but in reality the answer lay in the second. "for God is with those who patiently persevere" Thus if I made the initial step and made a real effort in doing good [driving force], avoided evil [restraining force] and accepted the condition Allah had decreed for me [persevering force], Allah would be with me and would be helping me to pray. And as the verse says, by praying to Allah in turn helps me in doing good, avoiding evil……and so it goes on. This is because Allah has never changed a favor which He has conferred upon a people until they change their own condition; and because Allah is Hearing, Knowing[8:53] So what has all this got to do with depression I hear you ask? ;-) Well from a “spiritual” perspective it revolves around the third force, namely being sad over one’s condition. Hence the first step back to well being and the "help" of Allah is acceptance of Allah’s lot for you [even if in the longer run physical help will be needed] This is a huge topic and I didn’t really want to go into that much detail but just wanted to share a personal experience. ;-) May Allah forgive me for any errors I may have made above. Wasalaam Br Khalid |
| 08/07/03 at 09:50:19 |
| BrKhalid |
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