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| 4 all u hijabis... |
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| sabeena |
| 08/05/03 at 11:30:50 |
| salaamz sisters! i dunno if this has already been discussed b4 , but i would like to know from all of u who wear the headscarf regularly, how did u start? what inspired u? what was ppl's reaction, difficulties u encountered etc., etc., u get da point. :-) ps if u could also include da wierd qs ppl ask dat wud b great. wasallam |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| salaampeaceshalom |
| 08/05/03 at 13:00:58 |
| [slm] sis :) Before I actually began to wear the scarf, I had been wanting to wear it for about a yr or so. What really made me want to wear it even more was when I heard a talk by a brother who was saying it was sinful for sisters to not wear it. Initially I had begun to think I would like to wear it, but when I heard his talk I was like :o. That really frightened me, and slowly the idea began to take root more firmly. But alas at that time I wasn't strong/courageous enough to begin wearing it, and it was only a year before that I had seriously begun to really look in to Islaam and really began to understand it. Alhumdililah, a yr later I had the chance to go to Saudi. While I was there I honestly felt like a freak, because me head wasn't covered. I remember on arrival I felt like everyone was staring at me because I wasn't wearing a scarf or anything and even at the airport I had tears in my eyes, that's how upset and uncomfortable I was. After a few days being there I decided I had to get a scarf. SubhanAllaah the relief I felt then was incredible. I finally felt like I fit in and was no longer the odd one out. It's so weird because I don't even remember how I felt about putting on the scarf for the whole day or when I was out, etc. All I remember was that I didn't stand out anymore, and so I felt a lot better. My whole experience in Saudi Arabia gave me the much needed confidence to wear it for good. When I got back on the plane to the UK, I made the decision to keep it on, although I was sure that some people kept looking at me on the aeroplane. To be honest once I got back I didnt get much of a reaction. OK sure it was uncomfortable at times when people would stare, and I was aware that again I was the odd one out, because wearing hijaab isn't really the norm here as it is in Saudi. At times my confidence in wearing the hijaab would waver but alhumdulilah 4yrs on, I'm still wearing it!! On the whole, apart from stares, I got positive feedback. I think my immediate family was surprised by the sudden donning of the scarf, but they've been cool about it. But the one thing that did shake me real bad was the unexpected attacks from one of my uncles. He began to hurl all sorts of abuse at me for wearing it, some which had me in tears. I couldn't understand his reaction, partly because no one else in my family (hm, maybe on the odd occassion my Mum tho would ask me to take it off when we had to go to a function) had anything negative to say about me wearing it. I began to resent him and didn't like being around him, but alhumdulilah he leaves me alone now :) Um, the most common questions I get asked is- -why do u wear that thing on your head? - which religion do u belong to which makes u wear that? -where do u come from that you have to wear that? -don't u get hot in that? -isn't it difficult to wear at times/restricting/inconvenient? Anyways, that's some of my life story :), sorry it was so long If you're seriously thinking of wearing it, my advice would be to go ahead and wear it. It's something between you and Allaah. Don't feel like u have to justify yourself to other people. Sometimes I'm appalled at how gutless I was to have not worn it straightaway when I had first wanted to start wearing it, just because I was afraid of what other people were going to say ::). It's a good way to give dawah too ;) wa'salaam |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| sofia |
| 08/05/03 at 13:50:27 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah, Excellent question. :) Knowing where/why the injunction for hijaab/khimaar comes from helps. Some sisters start wearing it as soon as they know it's obligatory. Others need some time. But overall, there's an unfortunate amount of Muslims who don't realize that hijaab/khimaar is required and it's mainly due to lack of education in Islaam (as is the case with a lot of issues). So if we come up against those who are against the hijaab, explain to them what Islaam says. I've heard of waaay too many sisters who want to start but come from families who pretty much forbid it (or try to. I also know of sisters who have to sneak a hijaab in their bag and wear it later, subhan'Allah). I really doubt the majority of people with that mindset actually understand the true Islaamic viewpoint on it, and if they did, might behave differently. Insha'Allah. May Allah help all the sisters start and increase us all in imaan and 'ilm. It's ironic that some muslimahs get a worse reaction from their family/Muslims than from non-Muslims! Experiences vary, but alhamdulillah, I'll bet mostly positive. Alhamdulillah, I've had mostly positive (from non-Muslims, some negative from Muslims, and a supportive family, some of whom, also wear hijaab, alhamdulillah). With experience, the hijaab is like any other article of clothing normally worn; you won't leave home without it! These links may or may not help (and iA more sisters will give you their insight): http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1048353593 http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1032719404 http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1024478404 http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1036832987 http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1037441174 http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/madina/YaBB.pl?board=archives;action=display;num=1041815773 |
| 08/05/03 at 13:54:31 |
| sofia |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| Sakinah |
| 08/05/03 at 15:30:45 |
| Assalum Alaikum Sisters, :-* I started wearing my hijab immediately. Before I took Shahada I read alot about Islam. So I felt naked and wanted 2 cover up ASAP. :o don't u get hot in that? This is one that I often get. But mostly I get stares. U know the ones I'm talking about. i.e.: She must be crazy, it's 90' out! :o She must be a from another country, maybe I should tell her this is the U.S. ??? Her husband must make her do that :P But every now & then I get a woman who really respects the statement it makes and wants 2 know more ;D These are the ones I look forward 2. :-* |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| Early_Bird |
| 08/05/03 at 16:57:14 |
| [slm] wow, it;s been a long time, what can I remember?? hmm, I know i loved the idea of modesty in Islam, that idea was flying out the door in the culture of my birth and it's even worse now ::) at first i felt like *everyone* was starting at me, which was really annoying. My mom (who is still Christian) would tell me they weren't, but it took a few months to get over that. After a while it felt and still feels that the hijab is part of me, part of what people out there see when they see me. If they have a problem with that - or with any other aspect of my appearance - well it's their problem, not mine! Alhamdulillah most people seem to accept it now. The ones that don;t - the bigots and racists etc - well, I wouldn;t want to waste time trying to talk to them anyways. weird questions? oh, plenty. apart from the yells of "Ayatollah!!" and "Ha-ha, Eeeee-ran!!" in the early 80s on the streets of London... ::) and I have had compliments from crusty old white ladies, "I Love your head-dress, my dear!" But the questions... um, the perennial "Aren't you hot in THAT?" gets a bit annoying. I just point out (a) it's loose (b) it's cotton and (c) it's hotter in Hell! And I've been asked if I have hair... or what religion I am... or is that the religion that lets you have four husbands??? Perish the thought! And I've been asked where I learned my English because I speak it so well!! :P :D |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| Ruh |
| 08/05/03 at 21:36:59 |
| [slm] sisters! This is a great topic; it's nice to hear everyone else's stories! :D If someone had told me even about 5 years ago that I would be wearing hijab now, I would never have believed it--even though alhamdullilah I was born and raised as a Muslim and was practicing. But since I didnt see that many people wearing hijab, and since I didnt study it much, I didn't think it was required! :o I thought it was a personal choice and ppl could, or could not do it whenever they wanted; however despite that, I thought I would start it when I was like age 40 (dunno y I picked that certain age). However alhamdullilah as I evolved in my deen, and heard lectures and studied the matter I realized this is something I had to do. In addition a lot of sisters around me started wearing hijab, including a majority of my relatives and my younger sis, so that when we would go out, I'd be the "odd one out". BUT for some reason I was scared--scared at how I would be perceived in the workplace, scared at society's reaction, etc... And I realized, why am I scared--the only thing I should be scared of is Allah's wrath. So I decided that inshaAllah I would start in Ramadan, but that month came and went and I "chickened" out. :( Then I became very ashamed and decided I could make excuses forever, so I just put in on one day and havent taken if off (that was just this past December, so I guess I'm a new hijabite ;) ). Bqt I cant lie and say I loved it right away--it was really hard at first, but now alhamdullilah I can say it was the best thing I have ever done and I LOVE it!! ;D As for odd questions I get--alhamdullilah here where I live ppl are pretty accepting and there are many hijabis around. I'll get some occasional stares, but many smiles actually (those make my day). My fav story though by far is: I was at the local Target walking to the shampoos, when a little girl screams out "Heejab!!! Heejab!!!" I turn around and it's this little white girl, pointing at me and tugging her dad's sleeve. I smiled and waved at her. Then once I hit the shampoo section, I hear her running after me, and she comes up to me and says Assalamu alaikum. I was talking to her, asking her her age, when her dad comes up to me and says that the little girl goes to an Islamic pre-school and really likes it! :-* It really made my day! Wassalam :-) |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| Emerald |
| 08/06/03 at 01:35:34 |
| I started wearing the hijab when I was 9. It wasn't a personal choice but rather my father made me not forcefully though. I didn't really think much of it at that age because I was too young to really care about looks like teenagers do. If I had started wearing it in my teens, it probably would have been really hard and I may have ended up taking it off. But alhamdullilah I started early and got used to it which I believe many girls should do. My daughter started wearing it when she was 7. It was summer vacation so she had some time to adjust before going to school with it. It was wierd and hard for her the first few months because all her friends knew her without it. Now masha-Allah, she has no probs with it. In fact when kids tease her she really knows how to stick up for herself and say "I'm Muslim! You're not my friend if you can't like me for who I am". My favorite questions and reponses... Q: Aren't you hot?! ( seems to be the most popular one! ;)) A: What do you think?! ::) Q: Why do you wear that thing?! A: I believe in it and it makes me strong! 8) Q: How long have you been in the states? A: 27 years (I'm 27, hehehe ;)) Q: Do you wear that at home? A: Only when I pray. :-) |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| shieldsoffaith |
| 08/06/03 at 10:42:35 |
[slm] [slm] Well, sisters I have had all the above questions and then some. When I first became a muslim. I fasted. I guess it was because I became a muslim close to Ramadan that I started with fasting. I then went to learning how to pray and by the time I learned I was praying all 5 prayers. It was after learning to pray that I started wearing hijab. I felt embarassed at first to wear it. But, I had decided to follow Islam and so I did not take it off. It is now my second nature. I never would leave without it. I guess the "aren't you hot?" is the most common question and I have finally started saying, "yes" it gets that way sometimes. And then just go on about my business unless they wish to discuss it any more. The next question that tickles me most is, "Do you sleep in it?" My kids have christian friends who visit and they have picked up on how I take it off at home and have reported this to their families so I haven't hear this one lately. The one that still stands out in my mind and tickled me the most was when a little old lady ask me this: "Honey are you bald?" salam |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| Lil_Sista |
| 08/07/03 at 02:59:32 |
| [slm] masha Allah..............great to know all of ur hijab stories!!! i posted this kind of story in sis sofia's thread i guess. may Allah swt make it easy for us,ameen. peace out! |
| Re: 4 all u hijabis... |
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| Trustworthy |
| 08/07/03 at 14:51:30 |
| [slm] I've worn mine since who knows when. But in school, I started my senior year in HS. I was ready. What inspired me was that I realized how ridiculous it was for me to hide something as important as that. What was I afraid of? I should only fear Allah (SWT). And Allah (SWT) is my protector. So I wore it one morning and mom was like...u sure? i said yeap. my non-Muslim best freind who came to pick me up everyday was like...u sure?....yeap.....ok, i'm behind you.....then we picked up my cousin who was like...u sure?.....yeap....ok, but you makin me look bad. Ppl stared but said nothing. Teachers were curious so they asked why? I said it was part of my religion that I was hiding.....lunch came and this boy i did not know made a remark...oh look! we've got a nun going to our school....we all turned and they were going to say something but i said, may God have mercy on your soul, son....and we all laughed about it. I was the only one wearing a hijab even though there were other muslimahs around so instead of asking me the question why aren't they wearing one, they asked those Muslimahs. Then I had a new Muslimah (foreigner-Palestine) arrived at my school and she wore hijab to so it was cool. no one bothered her b/c they had already dealt with me so that was cool too. we became good freinds. So those were the only confrontations I had. not so bad. but you will always have ppl stare and ask questions. you get used to it and then you hardly ever notice their stares anymore. after 9/11, i had a confrontation that made me angry and almost went insane on him. he said with ppl watching...what are you doing here? how did you get away from your male masters? aren't you supposed to be oppressed or something? aren't you afraid of getting beat up when you go home? turns to his freinds, maybe she's been liberated. Took a deep breathe and asked are you done with giving me the third degree? Sheesh! you sound like my master ::). I'm kidding! You believe everything you watch on tv? Besides what's your definition of oppression? He was wide eyed and like...oh, you speak english?....no i speak american. ::) what's wrong with you man? b/c i am a muslim woman out and about should mean to you that I am not oppressed. and since you recognized my religion from my dress should tell you another thing which is...do some research of your own on Islam before making irrelevant comments based on your assumptions from the media that has nothing to do with me or my religion. So if you'll excuse me, I have to be getting back to work. Good day sir! He yelled out, i'm sorry. i turned around and said no worries. just don't judge a book by it's cover. open it and explore and ask before you speak. I've had other confrontations like at work when I was working on a computer, there was a group of staff chatting in the next cube. They were talking about suicide bombers, talibans, martyrs and this aldy made a comment about 72 virgins which pi**ed me off, but b/c I was working and at work i sent her an email explaining what they were discussing and invited ehr to one of our organization meetings with other religious groups. She apologized. There were more. I no longer get those confrontations or mind numbing stares or sea of whispers since it's almost been 2 years. I have raised my daughter wearing the hijab since she was able to walk. She is used to it now and she has never been forced to leave it on if she didn't want to wear it. She's kept her hijab on since Kindergarden. So the thing is, we'll always have to deal with some sort of discomfort b/c of the public, but if you are used to it and keep your trust in Allah (SWT), everything will be fine, insha-Allah. Ma-asalaama.... |
| 08/07/03 at 14:52:31 |
| Trustworthy |
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