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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Silly Label Instructions |
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| Sakinah |
| 08/22/03 at 22:43:42 |
| [slm] On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). ::) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) ::) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.) ??? On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). ;D On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well. duh, a bit late, huh!) :-[ On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (.and you thought????.) :o On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) ;D On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts ;) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and. I'm taking this because???.) :-/ On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to. what?) :P On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) ??? On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) :D On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh. fly Delta?) :-[ On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) :o Hope u laughed as hard as I did! :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| chiq |
| 08/23/03 at 10:03:27 |
| [slm] LOOOOOL! :-/ Mind, this has probably got a lot to do with the recent suing trend...consider the famed incident of a lady who washed her dog and put it in the microwave to dry...after recovering from the distressing loss of her beloved pet, she took the microwave company to court...and won. Subsequently they inscribed "Do not use to dry pets" (or something like ;D) on the label. Then there was the man who thought he'd make the marathon more interesting by strapping a refrigerator to his back...after recovering from his injuries, he sued the refridgerator company...and won. A "Do not use except to store food" instruction appeared on that fridge. Same with the "Contains nuts" thing on the peanuts...(sigh) the list goes on and on... Can't figure these ones out though... [quote]On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to. what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)[/quote] ::) Wasalaam |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| Sakinah |
| 08/23/03 at 12:55:14 |
| [slm] Think about where u put christmas lights :-[ Either indoors on a tree or window or outdoors on your house or tree. No matter where u put them they're either outdoor or indoor. hence the redundant instructions On a food processor, NOT 2 BE USED 4 OTHER USE? What else could u use a food processor for? ??? |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| Sakinah |
| 08/23/03 at 12:58:43 |
| My favorites are: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts And: On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| Aadhil |
| 08/23/03 at 17:42:07 |
| [slm] :) Every Microwave should have a sign "Food only" :P Last Ramadan some kids in our Masjid Microwaved a shoe! :o By the next day the whole room was a stinking. (No icon for nose holding, Rats!). But then kids dont seem to be able to read instructions properly so why have whacky instuctions? :D [slm] ;-) |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| Potato |
| 08/23/03 at 22:46:38 |
| [slm] What about "drink responsibly?" ::) I remember how my younger brother, a really long time ago when he was maybe about 6-7 years old, poured milk into his favorite plastic cup and heated it over a flame on our gas stove. Needless to say, it didn't look very much like a cup after that. He apparently got the idea from seeing my mother put ceramic dishes in the oven. [wlm] [] |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| missy |
| 08/24/03 at 17:50:07 |
| [slm] :D This is a funny thread. On those sun shades you put in the windows of your car, it says use cation when opening, do not operate vehical while in use. On chainsaws it says do not stop blade with hand In baby play pens and strollers they tell us not to fold and store with baby still inside! on dishwashers and dryers they say do not allow childeren to climb inside! I've even seen on some soda bottles it says aim away from face while opening. on lotion bottles it says apply to hands and body or whereever skin feels dry or irritated. they even have to put instructions on a box of cat litter! And tell us to remove clumps daily...What's the world coming to? ??? ??? |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/24/03 at 22:50:46 |
| [slm] these instruction are only in AngloSaxon countries & Europe. Even the multinationals don't believe in instructions for the consumer of our region. has anyone ever wondered why? ...... joke deleted after being ticked off by two sisters :( |
| 08/29/03 at 03:23:30 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| Sakinah |
| 08/25/03 at 00:34:16 |
| [slm] :-) u know that wasn't nice :o I hope none of my blonde sisters took offense 2 the brothers humor. I hope u all get a laugh out of these 2: If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on their doors? Why do hot dogs come in packs of 12 but hot dog buns come in packs of 10? If swimming is supposed to be good for your figure, then why are whales so fat? Why did Kamikazi pilots wear helmets? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? If you choke a Smurf, what color would it turn? If you eat pasta and antipasta at the same time, would you still be hungry? When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs? Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Why is a shipment transported by car while a cargo is trasnported by ship? Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? If slim is the opposite of fat, then why do slim chance and fat chance mean the exact same thing? Why are they called APARTments when they are all connected together? Why do they call it a television set when you only get one of them? How come the word Abbreviation is so long when it means to shorten words.... How come they say "The Alarm went off.." when it turned on? If money dont grow on trees why do banks have so many branches? If Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it chili if it's hot? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?(Ohhhhhhhh Very nice!) :-[ If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? :-/ If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? ??? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of THATsong? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? What if someone died in the living room? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Where does the fire go when the fire goes out? Where is Old Zealand? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? What do people in China call their good plates? What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company? Why dont we ever see baby pigeons? Any1 know the answers? :-[ :-/ |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/25/03 at 01:04:42 |
| [slm] ;D :D that was funny indeed, & thought-provoking too. & if anyone thinks my joke was in bad taste, plz tell me, so that i can delete it before the admin issues me a warning. [center] plz, is there a smiley for fright ? [/center] thanks ps: i was going to take it off, but then the posts from sisters JustOne & readagain would become redundant, so in the greater interest of humanity, i leave it here. plus as these sisters said: every one has her "........." moments. i don't know, but i feel that the sisters' remarks aren't very complimetary to "you know who". ps2: the joke has been deleted after a second sister's admonishment. |
| 08/29/03 at 03:40:50 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| Sakinah |
| 08/26/03 at 15:56:30 |
| [slm] glad I got your noodle rolling ;D i do think u should delete the joke though. in the US blondes are constantly badgered enough ;-) |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| theOriginal |
| 08/26/03 at 16:11:16 |
| [slm] Blonde is not a type of person. Blonde is a (urduuuuuuuu translators needed....looking for a translation for the word "Kaifiyat") condition that could hit anyone, at any time. Wasalaam. ;D |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| readagain |
| 08/26/03 at 16:42:02 |
| [slm] [quote author=JustOne link=board=bebzi;num=1061603022;start=0#11 date=08/26/03 at 16:11:16] [slm] Blonde is a (urduuuuuuuu translators needed....looking for a translation for the word "Kaifiyat") condition that could hit anyone, at any time. Wasalaam. ;D[/quote] dude..thats soo true...a lot of time i find myself experiencing one of my blonde moments...(it just happened 2 seconds ago when i ws trying to think how u spell "time" ::) ) and am nowhere near a blondie. :P (wait a sec..there use to be a crying smiley..... :'( <<-------HERe it is :D i love it) |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/26/03 at 19:55:22 |
| [slm] OK, now my contribution: Q.How can a woman keep her husband from reading her e-mails? A. Re-name the folder "instruction manual" Q. How does a man retain his youth? A. By giving her diamonds, furs and money Q. What's the world's thinnest book? A. What Men Know About Women Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a bottom-feeding scum sucker who lives in muck and the other's a fish. And my favorite If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?? |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| Fozia |
| 08/28/03 at 10:24:34 |
| [slm] Br. Timbuktu, that's not nice. The reason why manufacturers have to put on riiilllllly obvious instructions on products, is because the west has this culture of refusing to accept responsiblity for their own actions. In addition to which after a trickle of stupid people sued.....and won it started a precedent. In the east this has yet to catch on and people generally accept that if they do something stupid they won't get paid a ridiculous amount of money for it. For instance only recently a man trespassed into a council owned property and then proceeded to dive head first into a shallow paddling pool. The result he is now paralysed, he tried to sue the council for not putting a 'do not dive head first' sign next to the existing 'do not trespass' sign. However taking a break from the insane norm, the judge ruled the man was not entitled to anythign as he chose to break and enter so he should suffer the consequences and the local cash strapped council could jolly well keep their monies to spend on something useful for a change. Wasalaam |
| Re: Silly Label Instructions |
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| timbuktu |
| 08/29/03 at 03:04:18 |
| [slm] OK, sisters Sakinah & Fozia, i have deleted the joke. at the other forum they say muslims have no sense of humor. & i have been told muslims are not creative. my attempt at both has been shot down. i am real sad. :( :( |
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