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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| having a non-muslim best friend? |
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| little._.sister |
| 09/01/03 at 06:54:40 |
| [slm] I'm pretty sure it's alright to have non-muslims as friends, but what about as best friends? Would it be right to have a non-muslim as one of the few people who we feel that we can really trust? I thought I'd make an anon post for this, but may as well say it, one of my best friends isn't a muslim. She comes from a completely different background, but after over a year now, we've become close friends. She respects my faith; Every now and then, she even asks me about Islam. I do try my best to explain, and secretly hoping and praying that she will become more interested in it. However, as for now, I don't think she gives it that much thought; and I know I can't force her to. Lately, I've been becoming more interested in Islam (alhamdulillah), and I want to tell her about these feelings. But I don't know if I could/should. I was just wondering, if anyone can help give some opinions on this matter (personal opinion as well as islamic opinion). It will be very much appreciated wassalamu'alaikum :) |
| Re: having a non-muslim best friend? |
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| sal |
| 09/01/03 at 17:14:55 |
| [slm] I Think we we need to know about ISLAM well before calling some one muslem and non muslem first of all ISLAM is very flexible religion. it allows non muslems live with the muslems Islam for example says it is must the parrents to be obeyed by their kids unless that request of the parrents is what is not allowd by ALLAH. even if the parrents are not muslems. well .who can be more beloved than the mother and father .this indicates that they can be our best freinds In ISLAM it is allowed to marry non muslem ( AHL AL KITAB) woman but does it say if you marry non muslem you dont have to love her and treat her well ? ISNT it haram to treat the non muslem bad ? so if it is haram to treat badly then treating well and good freinship is allowed and is even a good thing . UNDER THIS BASIS I GUESS WE CAN There are many examples religion wise that we can make non muslem freinds as long as they are respecting our faith and we are also supposed to respect their faith . the proof The ayah LAKUM DINAKUM WA LIY DEEN some of us are staining islam with our wrong understanding about ISLAM and this ignorance about the religion itslef is just like fighting ISLAM instead of calling for it . some claim making DAIWAH and at the same time creating hatred with the non muslems This is contradicting to the islam teaching we need to learn how to behave nice so that we can be listend we need to be kind so that we can be trusted but how come ? to call for ilsam with sword in our hand ? I am saying this becasue I have noticed several posts talking against non muslems as some thing bad and relating this wrong and unfair manner to islam . do you see how the danger of ignorance is playing a big role agianst islam ? .we may say oh no ! when that thappend that i adressed such bad thing to islam ? speaking for of islam as a muslem is what i am talking about I think it is better to ask such sensitive questions ( that can hurt) in private messages untill we can get the right answer . for social and political matters i think it doesnt matter to make it public but relgious matters need to be given very big care before thay are posted I SAY THIS BECOUSE DIFFERENT PERSONAL POINTS OF VIEWS RELATED TO ISLAM GIVES THE MEANING THAT ISLAM HAS DIFFERENT RULES AND CONFUSES THE OTHERS , EVEN SOME MUSLEMS ISLAM is one faith that teaches only one thing but muslems have different brains and manners . [wlm] |
| 09/01/03 at 17:16:18 |
| sal |
| Re: having a non-muslim best friend? |
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| Maliha |
| 09/01/03 at 22:29:02 |
| [slm] little sister :-* hmmm..this is a tough one. Little sister all I can say is that time is of essence. If you are making your way back to Allah, invariably you would want to know what things bring you closer to Him, and what things take you away from Him...for a servant time is capital and you want to invest in the activities and people that bring you closer to Him. Also, you want to look at the "dominant influence theory"..and that is if you are the one influencing her most of the time to do good, then it's a friendship worthwhile, because you are getting the hasanat Inshaallah in bringing her along the path with you and you never know, you could be the catalyst for her eventual conversion. IF on the other hand, she influences you most of the time to do bad, or even random time wasting non Islamic activities, then is it really worth your time to squandor it on those things that neither add to your imaan and most likely diminish it? On the day of Judgement every single *person* will regret most even the hour that was spent outside of dhikr and worship of Allah.... Most of the texts concerning purification of the soul, deal with "bad" company as being one of the poisons of the heart..."bad" company is defined as those people who trivialize bad deeds, and make sins seem light and frivolous, those people whose very talk, actions, being, take you away from your purpose and goal in life. Peer pressure is a major phenomenon known even in secular psychology and we are recommended to be with those people who act as reminders and guides along the way. We all make mistakes and falter along the path, you want to be around the people who would gently nudge you during those hard times, who would help make your struggle easy, who would make duah for your success and on the day of Judgement we will be raised with those whom we love. Our companions are also rizq from Allah, just like regular provisions like food and shelter, if you don't have good Muslim sisters pray to Allah to bring some along your way...go to the Masjid, find those sisters that sit in the back and focus on more on listening to the Khatib, doing dhikr, and reciting Quran than socializing. Be proactive, and love for the sake of Allah for those are the few chosen people who would be raised under His shade when there will be no other shade nor respite.... I hope this ramble provides some direction...and you know yourself best, so I pray Allah facilitates whatever is good for you in this dunya and more importantly Akhera. Big Sis :-) [wlm] |
| Re: having a non-muslim best friend? |
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| Ruqyah |
| 09/02/03 at 06:38:08 |
| [slm] My 2 best friends both have completely different religions to me and backrounds and I personally feel it is ok because I feel I am spreading Islam, I have made 2 ignorant people who only thought of Islam in terms of violence and what they see in the news to respect and understand that Islam is not like other religions, it is not just a belief, it is a way of life. :-[ Equally I have many muslims friends out of school (unfortunately, in my year I am the only muslim girl)> :( Sometimes I think it would be so amazing if there was a muslimah in my year but there is not and I have have dealed with it and accepted it. But I think what is important little sister, is that if they want to do things which are haram or forbidden to us muslims then make it very clear why you can't and inshallah they will respect you. I don't know what these friends are like though, I mean my best friends, even though are not muslims they hardly mix with the other sex and they are what I consider to be as nice people. Inshallah I hope this has helped you make your mind up ;D |
| Re: having a non-muslim best friend? |
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| chiq |
| 09/02/03 at 19:11:47 |
| [slm] There are three parts to the wraith called “me” – vision, methodology/strategy, and expression. My vision is living al Islam. Definitions of the other two lie in whatever helps me achieve that, and so change and endure and change again with the currents of life... I figure that… ...allies have a common methodology but not necessarily a common vision. ... friends have a common vision but not a common methodology. ...best friends have a common vision and common methodology. And the best relationships welcome diverse modes of expression! However, the higher your aims, the harder it is to find real friends :( I don’t like parochialism, I’m outwardly quiet, and inwardly fiery, and since finding Islam have channelled my passions into the deen. I even cry if I feel I have wasted time (which makes for a lot of crying :'()All of which conspires to make me incredibly restless and driven by a constant need to be working for a grander cause than money or even faith-less philanthropy… You can imagine, then, that the often egocentric concerns of most youths frustrate my manic energies (probably because they bring out my own). The Muslimahs I know in whose company my imaan increases (and, therefore, enthusiasms thrive) are so few I can count them on one hand...and all live far away from me without any real way of communicating with them bar an email/call every few months :( But alhamdulillah that I knew them. I also have non-Muslim “friends” who are also sympathetic to Islam, but I know that my relationship with them is crippled by a yawning void of faithlessness. How can it be otherwise, when I know that, if this terrible difference remains, our friendship will be no more on the Last Day? Yet I sort of love them, because the few such friends I have know me well enough not to bring their male friends over, or let the conversation linger too long on food and fashion, and share my love of the arts... So I pray for them. In the meantime, however, fearing my weakness as I do, I generally consign myself to aloneness (and often loneliness). That there [I]are[/I] good, practising Muslimahs out there I have no doubt, but until I find them – or become one myself – I’ve decided to take veery small doses of the available types… However, if you're stronger than me (which isn't hard ;D) then you can ignore all that. I’ll stop rambling now. Wasalaam |
| 09/02/03 at 19:14:03 |
| chiq |
| Re: having a non-muslim best friend? |
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| little._.sister |
| 09/09/03 at 18:10:58 |
| thank you so much for all the "ramblings", I truly appreciated it all I might have a little talk with my best friend, perhaps at least I will know how much she is willing to understand me. but I still don't know, she's always so busy lately, I'm not going to force her to sit down and listen to me if I can't find the right time. I better now get too attached with her, right?.... on another side, I met this wonderful muslimah a few days ago. I knew her before, but I never really talked to her like I did that day. That just felt really nice... |
| Re: having a non-muslim best friend? |
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| NinthMuharram |
| 09/15/03 at 06:22:58 |
| I have 2 best friends (who are not related to me by blood or marriage). they are both non Muslims. They are the one who always reminded me abt Allah and Islam. They have always been the support to stay on the Right Path. Ironically, they make me understand Islam more than ever. They're my lifetime sisters. You know who you are ;) |
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