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Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!

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Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
lucid9
09/08/03 at 16:20:09
[slm]

Just a joke.  But gotcha didn't I?!

Ok, more seriously guys,  

(1) If you are married, how much did you pay for your mahr?  And did you pay it right away?
(2) If you're not married, how much would you be willing to pay?

Recently, my first sister cousin got married back in **deshi land** and guess much just  the bride and groom spent?  Sixty thousand dollars! Yikes! You could feed a whole village for 10 generations with that kinda dosh.  

The funny thing is: while 60K was spent on the wedding, I somehow doubt that the mahr in comparison was that much -- maybe $10K.   And I betcha the groom will never pay it. Sounds pretty wierd, huh?  Even wierder is that its just barely twice the price of the Rolex that my uncle gave my cousin. Yikes!

Ok gals, how much do you think yur worth?   How much would you insist on?  And what kind of payment schedule would you insist on.  Answer the following two questions

What amount of Mahr (Marital Dowry) would you demand?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(A)  less than   $1000
(B)  more than $1000  but less than $5000
(C)  more than $5000  but less than $10,000
(D)  more than $10,000  but less than $20,000
(E)  more than $20,000  but less than $40,000
(F)  more than $40,000  but less than $80,000
(G)  more than $80,000  but less than $130,000
(H) more than $130,000  but less than $200,000
(I)  more than $200,000

When would you demand payment of the mahr?
-----------------------------------------------------------
(A) Immediately (for example, if hubby promises you  a house/apartment)
(B) First year
(C) Within 3 years
(D) Within 5 years
(E) Within 10 years
(F) After kids grown up
(G) When hubby can afford it? (this usually means never)
(H) When hubby retires (IRA money)
(I)  Never
(J) Only if divorced.

Where i come from, most people promise a sizable amount and its only paid (if ever) at divorce.  
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Chris
09/09/03 at 12:14:27
Spoilsport.  I was about to launch a thundering broadside at you for daring to action your daughters, or so i thought, and then I saw it was a joke.  I got all exited for nothing!

well, I'm not married.  I would try to give her some money if I could, perhaps 10'000 backs.  Any takers, sisters? ;)

Adam
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
lucid9
09/09/03 at 12:43:52
[slm]

what makes  ya think i have daughters?  :o

wowie, that would be something!

[slm]
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
siddiqui
09/09/03 at 12:59:53
[slm]
It depends on the situation
1)How much am I earning & how much do I have
2)When does she want it paid

If she wants it paid immedeatly then Its I earn this much and I have saved this much thats all I have accept me or reject me


If she wants it paid in an installment then its this much I can afford and will be willing to pay this much/month

what ever it is I would like to pay it off as soon as I can Inshallah

My mother got married on a Mahar of Rs 11,000 Indian rupees in 1969
he was a doctor making about 400 bucks/month
Oh you could lead a comfortable middle class life with that money
My dad paid the Mahar in 1997 (32 long years) but the glad thing is he took inflation into account I guess and paid her some thing like 120,000
(10 times higher),So I guess mom didnt get too bad a deal after all :P

In my personal opinion the Mahr should be a sum reflecting the times and the reason why it is paid ,it neither should be so small that it defeats the very purpose (some one i know(and also is rich)  got married and paid the same mahar 11,000 Indian bucks in 1998 as my dad  paid in 1969)  ???

Nor it should be ridiculously high that the man eventually has to face Allah swt for either non payment or never get married for life

Oh yes I also know of engagements breaking cauz people couldnt agree on a few hundred rupee diffrentials on Mahar


[wlm]

09/09/03 at 15:33:34
siddiqui
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
lucid9
09/09/03 at 13:22:30
Apologies to the esteemed Mod I sent this to as an instant message.

[u] Disadvantages of  a Large Mahr [/u]

I don't think  a large mahr has much to do with why there are so many desi-land muslim singles. But I think it is a big reason why there are tons of singles of arab descent.  In places like egypt guys have to save for seemingly so long that by the time they are rich enough to buy that apartment as  dowery for the much anticipated wife, they've got giant masses of grey hair streaming out of their ears and noses.  And who's gonna wanna marry a guy like that?!!  

More seriously, its interesting that the leader for of the 9/11 hijackers was unmarried and very misgynistic.  I bet you that he was misogynistic because he wasn't rich enough to get married, and was resentful toward females for being so monetarily demanding. This is just conjecture, but since i hang around guys, i know how lots of them think.  

[u] Advantages of a Large Mahr[/u]

But there is a good point to be made for large mahrs.  (1) It really does protect against divorce if the guy comes from a honest, upstanding family.  I think you might find that the guys who are so callous that they divorce their wives with 3 text messages didn't have to pay much if any mahr.  So it protects against hasty acts of divorce. (2) If the girl is very young and she has to sacrifice her education for her hubby she deserves some sort of vast compensation if the guy then dumps her when he gets tired of her, or finds out that she can't have children, etc.  Young women are very vulnerable, and one way to reduce that vulnerability is by asking for a significant mahr.    

In some ways, if you like live in America, the divorce laws  protect women and the oint of mahr becomes a bit moot.  However, this is only if Mr Hubby is loaded, and there is sizable community property, etc.  If Mr Hubby turns out to be broke, or files for bankruptcy,  etc at the time of divorce then the wife is up a creek.  In these cases Mahr  (if it is large enough) really protects women.

Tis funny, how muslims have injected so much culture into their religious practices that they have often forgotten the basic purposes and meaning of  the religous edicts and dictates (like you have to give dowry, etc).  For example, its not uncommon in deshi-land for the women to give lots of money to the guy as dowery, instead of vice versa!  Imagine that!  
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Fozia
09/09/03 at 15:03:11
[slm]

The best Mahr is the easiest to give, or something like that.

The reason why Mahr amounts are set so high these days, is because if you leave your wife she's got something to fall back on, something so she doesn't end up on the streets. Whereas in years gone by she'd return to her family and know she would be taken care of.... That's the way I see it.

In our family Mahr is given on the day of the wedding, in the form of gold or cash, I don't think any man in our family has sat on it hoping his wife would forgoe her right, because that is what it is her right.

My aunt nearly came to blows with my future mother-in-law who suggested wait for it.... a hundred rupees, as that's what she got when she married. I think it translates to about £2 or something.
My father-in-law accepted the amount my parents set, which was not so high as to put husband in debt for the rest of his life, nor so low as to make me seem a burden to my parents.

Wasalaam

Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Anonymous
09/10/03 at 01:27:19
fyi: the mahar is what the man can offer and not what the woman demands.
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
siddiqui
09/10/03 at 02:04:37
[slm]

[quote]fyi: the mahar is what the man can offer and not what the woman demands[/quote]

I understand that if you can afford the maher a woman is asking then accept the proposal or else move on

but how can one reconcile with the above statement and the story of Umar R,A ,s effort to put a upper celing to a mahar and the story of the old woman who asks Umar R,A how he could have a celing when Allah swt has
given the permission for a woman to ask what she wants

Please correct me if Iam wrong

Jazakallah khair
[wlm]


Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
WhatDFish
09/11/03 at 20:41:18
mahr is a gift of love from the husband to the wife and its impt to know what Islaam says abt it.

from islam-qa

[u]Reducing the Mahr is Sunnah[/u]

Praise be to Allaah.  

Marriage is one of the blessings of Allaah, and one of His signs. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”
[al-Room 30:21]

Allaah commanded guardians to arrange marriages for those who are under their care, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about the state of the people)”

[al-Noor 24:32]

That is because of the great interests that are served by marriage, such as increasing the numbers of the ummah, and causing the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to feel proud before the other Prophets, and protecting both husband and wife from falling into haraam… and other great benefits.

But some guardians (walis) put obstacles in the way of marriage, which prevented those under their care from getting married in many cases.  

That is because they exaggerate concerning the mahr, and demand huge dowries which a young man who wants to get married cannot afford, until marriage becomes something extremely difficult for many of those who want to get married.

The mahr is a right that is given to the woman, as enjoined by Islamic sharee’ah, as an expression of the man’s desire to marry her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”
[al-Nisa’ 4:4]

This does not mean that the woman is a product to be sold, rather it is a symbol of honour and respect, and a sign that the husband is willing to shoulder his responsibilities and fulfil his duties.

Sharee’ah does not stipulate a certain limit for the mahr that should not be overstepped, but it does encourage reducing the mahr and keeping it simple.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to a man who wanted to get married: “Look (for something to give as a dowry), even if it is a ring of iron.” Agreed upon.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) set the highest example for his ummah in that regard, so that a clear understanding of the basic principles would be implanted in society, and a spirit of simplicity would spread among the people.

Abu Dawood (2125) and al-Nasaa’i (3375) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that ‘Ali said: “I married Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, let me go ahead with the marriage.’ He said: ‘Give her something.’ I said: ‘I do not have anything.’ He said: ‘Where is your Hutami shield?’ I said, ‘I have it with me.’ He said, ‘Give it to her.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3160.

This was the mahr of Faatimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the leader of the women of Paradise.

This reinforces the fact that in Islam, the mahr is not something that is sought for its own sake.

Ibn Maajah (1887) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says, ‘You cost me everything I own, and caused me a great deal of hardship’.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 1532.

“Do not go to extremes” means do not exaggerate in increasing the dowry. “A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her” means, until he begins to hate her when he is still paying off the debts incurred because of this mahr because it is too hard for him, or whenever he thinks about the matter.  

From Haashiyat al-Sindi ‘ala Ibn Maajah.

Twelve uqiyah is equivalent to 480 dirhams, i.e., approximately 135 silver riyals (134.4). This was the mahr of the daughters and wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/194:

Whoever thinks of increasing his daughter’s mahr and asking for more than the daughters of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were given – when they were the best women in this world in all aspects – is an ignorant fool. The same applies to asking for more than the Mothers of the Believers were given. This applies even if one is well off and can afford it. With regard to one who is poor, he should not give a mahr greater than he can afford to pay without any hardship.

He also said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra:

The words of Imam Ahmad according to the report of Hanbal imply that it is mustahabb for the dowry to be four hundred dirhams. This is the correct view in cases where the man can afford it. It is mustahabb to pay this amount and no more.

In Zaad al-Ma’aad (5/178), Ibn al-Qayyim quoted some of the ahaadeeth that indicate that the mahr should be reduced and that there is no minimum amount. Then he said:

These ahaadeeth indicate that there is no minimum amount for the mahr… and that exaggerating concerning the mahr is makrooh, and that it reduces its barakah (blessing). End quote.

Hence it is clear that what people do nowadays, increasing the mahr and exaggerating concerning it, is something that goes against the sharee’ah.

The wisdom behind reducing the mahr and not increasing it is quote clear:

This makes it easier for people to get married, so that they will not be diverted from it, which will result in all kinds of moral and social corruption.

[u]The negative and harmful consequences of exaggerating concerning the dowry[/u]

Praise be to Allaah.  

We have already explained in the answer to question no. 10525 that Islam teaches that the dowry should be reduced and made simple, and that this is in the interests of both the husband and the wife. As the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300.

The scholars have spoken a great deal about this issue and explained the harm that results from exaggerating concerning the mahr. For example, Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem issued a lengthy fatwa on this matter, in which he said:

One of the things that people have gone too far in, until they reached the level of extravagance and excess, is the matter of exaggerating concerning the mahr, and being extravagant in clothing, wedding feasts, and so on. The knowledgeable and wise people have started to complain about this because of the many evil consequences to which it leads, such as many women remaining unmarried, because many men cannot afford the expenses of getting married, which leads to many kinds of evil consequences…. I have researched this matter from all angles and reached the following conclusions:
1 – Accepting a moderate dowry and not demanding more of the husband than he can afford are enjoined by sharee’ah, according to the consensus of the scholars of the earlier and later generations. This is the Sunnah that is proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

2 – If the husband takes on payment of a dowry that he cannot afford and that is beyond his means, he deserves to be denounced for that, because he has done something makrooh, even if that dowry is less than the dowry given by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (1424) that Abu Hurayrah said: A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “I have got married to a woman from among the Ansaar.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: “Have you looked at her? For there may be something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” He said: “(Yes) I have looked at her.” He said: “For how much did you get married?” He said: ‘For four uqiyahs.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For four uqiyahs! It is as if you are getting this silver by digging it up from the side of this mountain. We do not have anything to give you, but perhaps we will send you on a campaign from which you might get something.” So he sent a campaign to Bani ‘Abs, and he sent that man among them.

Al-Nawawi said in his commentary on this hadeeth: what this means is that it is makrooh to make the dowry too much in relation to the husband’s situation.

3 – There can be no doubt that marriage is something that is prescribed and encouraged in sharee’ah, and in most cases it reaches the degree of being obligatory. Most people cannot manage to do this thing that is prescribed or mustahabb when there is this exaggeration concerning the mahr. It is well known that whatever is essential to doing something obligatory is also obligatory, from which we may understand that it is prescribed to make people aware of the seriousness of this matter and stop them from going to extremes in this matter which is preventing men from doing that which Allaah has enjoined upon them (i.e., getting married), especially since the command to reduce the mahr will not lead to any evil consequences, rather it is wholly in the interests of both the husband and the wife, and is in fact something that is liked and encouraged in Islam, as stated above.

4 – There is no shar’i justification for the woman’s guardian to refuse to marry her to a compatible man if he proposes marriage to her and she is pleased with him, because he cannot pay the large dowry that the guardian demands because of his personal greed or for the purpose of extravagance and showing off. Rather this comes under the heading of preventing marriage for which the one who does it is regarded as a faasiq (evildoer) if he does it repeatedly.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:

The scholars found a way around this obstacle when they said that if a guardian refuses to marry his female relative under his care to a compatible man with whom she is pleased, then that guardianship passes to another. For example, if a woman’s father refuses to marry her to a man whose religious commitment and character are suitable and with whom she is pleased and whom she wants to marry, then the closest of people to her after him, among her brothers, paternal uncles or cousins, should marry her to him.”

5 – Increasing the mahr and exaggerating concerning it forms a strong obstacle to marriage, and the many evil consequences that result from that and the spread of evil actions among men and women, are well known. The means come under the same ruling as the ends. Islam came to achieve and complete people’s best interests, and to do away with and reduce evils. Even if reducing dowries were to do no more than block the ways that lead to haraam things, that would be sufficient.

6 – The evil consequences of exaggerating concerning dowries are well known. How many free, chaste women have been prevented from marrying by their guardians, who have wronged them and left them without husbands and children.

How many women has that led to respond to the calls of their own desire and the Shaytaan, so they have committed evil actions and brought shame upon themselves and their families and clans, because they have committed sins that anger the Most Merciful?

How many young men have been unable to meet these demands for which no authority was sent down by Allaah, so the devils and evil companions took control of them, until they led them astray and caused them to lose out, so they lost their families and lost their way, and they became lost to their ummah and homeland, and they lost out in this world and in the Hereafter.

7 – Another harmful effect of exaggerating concerning dowries is the appearance of mental illness among young people of both sexes, because of having to suppress their natural urges and because of the frustration they encounter when they try to get married.

8 – Making demands of the husband that he cannot meet may stir up enmity in his heart against his wife, due to the financial difficulties that he suffers because of her. But the aim (of marriage) is happiness, not hardship.

9 – Even if there is any benefit in a large dowry for the women or her guardians, the evil consequences outweigh any such benefits. The basic principle in sharee’ah is that warding off evil takes precedence over achieving benefits.

10 – With regard to the story narrated from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him), that when he forbade increasing the mahr to more than four hundred dirhams, a woman from among Quraysh objected to that and said: “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, you have forbidden increasing the mahr of women to more than four hundred dirhams, have you not heard the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘…and you have given one of them a Qintaar (of gold, i.e. a great amount as Mahr)…’ [al-Nisa’ 4:20]?”

He said: “O Allaah, forgive me. All the people have more understanding of religion than ‘Umar.” Then he went back and ascended the minbar, and said: “O people, I forbade you to increase women’s dowries to more than four hundred. But whoever wants to give as much as he wants of his wealth, let him do so.”

But this story may be understood in different ways, and cannot be used as evidence or to oppose the proven texts referred to above, especially when there is no report of any objection to ‘Umar or denunciation of him on the part of any of the Sahaabah apart from this woman.

Adapted from the words of Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem. See Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem, 10/187-199.
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
IMuslim_4Ever
09/13/03 at 23:45:26
[quote author=siddiqui link=board=bro;num=1063048810;start=0#3 date=09/09/03 at 12:59:53] [slm]
In my personal opinion the Mahr should be a sum reflecting the times and the reason why it is paid ,it neither should be so small that it defeats the very purpose

[/quote]


[slm]

i agree with above comment of brother Siddiqui... and also Mahr shouldn't be that large in sum that would make the poor guy go broke... :(

btw, i never heard about the fact that people take Mahr on the wedding day!? wow! why would they do that? isn't it too much for the groom? why can't she wait a bit??... oh well, maybe i don't know much about these wedding stuff...  :-[

shouldn't the girl be happy that she is getting nice cloths and stuff? esp. gold!  by the way, is gold part of Mahr too

oh yeah...to answer you, bro Lucid...  the worth question:  I am priceless! :) so i am not gonna demand any silly price for me... i am too unique to do that  ;)

and the other one: if Mahr is given (for my parents may insist)...i would prefer it to be paid only if divorce takes place (hopefully that never happens)... or if i die, i would prefer it to be given out to the needy ones...for charity...to the mosques...or for any good of mankind...

ma salaama
09/13/03 at 23:47:51
IMuslim_4Ever
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Fozia
09/14/03 at 08:56:08
[quote author=IMuslim_4Ever link=board=bro;num=1063048810;start=0#9 date=09/13/03 at 23:45:26]


oh yeah...to answer you, bro Lucid...  the worth question:  I am priceless! :) so i am not gonna demand any silly price for me... i am too unique to do that  ;)

[/quote]


[slm]

Mahr is a gift to the bride from her husband, not a bride price in any shape or form, we are not being sold....

It is our right too, and the beloved prophet  [saw] gave each of his wives a mahr except for Maymuna (RA), who herself wished it thus...

Wasalaam
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
salaampeaceshalom
09/14/03 at 09:07:10
[slm]

Forgive me because I haven't read thru all of the above responses, but I just wanted to say that the mahr is a gift, and it is up to the bride whether she wishes to accept it or not.  One of my close friends refused to take anything, even the guy, who is now her husband, was adamant that she had to tell him what she wanted because it was his desire to give her something.

 Personally at the moment I don't think I would take anything as a mahr.  This has actually made me think tho that some ppl may start talking, for instance, saying irrelevant silly things like , the guy obviously can't afford to give her anything, etc, even tho it was my wish to not accpet anything.

Because it is a gift, it can be in the shape or form of anything.  If I was to accept a mahr, then I think I would just ask the guy to allow me to finish my education and get on with my career, or that we can go travelling somewhere!! Yay, that'd be nice  :)

wa'salaam
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
jannah
09/17/03 at 03:33:10
[wlm]

This whole thread reminds me of an oooooooold thread where we discussed mahr quite heatedly back a few Madina's ago... check it out:  http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=brothers&action=display&num=2288&start=0

Makes me kind of nostalgic... sigh... but how did we ever stand that much purple???

ahh well back to the [] and memories...
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
timbuktu
09/24/03 at 10:23:31
[slm]

there are two types of mehr:

the first type is payable before consummation of marriage., that is why it is paid on the wedding night.

the second is payable later, in which period can be specified, or left for when hisband can pay, etc ....

my wife's mehr was also Rs 11,000, not payable immediately. Today she owns a house (at least partly paid for by me), worth about a crore, (Rs 100 million). Well this high price is because of super-inflation. But I have definitely given her more than the mehr.

& the funny thing is that whereas wives dread divorce because they will be turned out of the house, here the boot is on the other foot.

so far, my wife has not given any indication of turning me out. :)

& sister Fozia: you have two stars because your posts exceed 100, & you have been promoted from Medina Newbie to Medina Mumin.
09/24/03 at 10:40:03
timbuktu
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Ruqayyah
09/24/03 at 12:09:21
[slm]

When deciding on mahr, does it make a difference if the wife has a job and is making her own money? What if she happens to make more than her husband? Would she then ask for a lesser mahr?

[wlm]
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Fozia
09/29/03 at 09:15:13
[slm]

Sr. Ruqqayah a mahr has no bearing on the womans wealth, it's a marriage gift from her husband she can ask for as much or as little as she wishes.


Wasalaam
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
BintRolf
10/06/03 at 09:48:50
[slm]

When i got married, almost 9 years ago, the Mahr i demanded was that he would teach me the Qoran and islam. This i think alhamdulillah was the best mahr i could ever ask for. So he did, mashaAllah.

But he also gave out of his own free will, as in Algeria such a mahr would be like SO NOT POSSIBLE, his family was shocked that i asked for such a mahr, subhanAllah, how could they, i mean, as  a revert, and a student, i did not need money, we should not have much gold, as muslims, we should more care about poor people than our needs. But he gave me a golden ring (not marriage ring, since that is haram alhamdulillah) but a normal ring, a chain he got from Algeria (sadly it was a chamza, you know the hand they use in North Africa to protect from A'in) so i cant use it, but the chain is nice though without the chamza :D And a Qoran and a prayer-rug. MashaAllah.

And then there is the money in case of divorce, wich is 1000 kroner, thats about... 130 US$ i think.

[wlm]
10/06/03 at 09:50:27
BintRolf
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Nomi
10/06/03 at 16:57:39

[slm]

[quote author=BintRolf link=board=bro;num=1063048810;start=15#16 date=10/06/03 at 09:48:50]
i mean, as  a revert, and a student, i did not need money, we should not have much gold, as muslims, we should more care about poor people than our needs.
[/quote]

SubhaAllah sis, converts of your likes (in fact all of em) make me want to salute ya. May Allah [swt] bless me with same zeal for our deen, ameen.

And i read that you observe niqaab, mashaAllah, double cyber-salutes.

wassalam
Your brother.
10/07/03 at 16:59:12
Nomi
Re: Muslim Wives on Auction at Ebay!!
Tesseract
10/06/03 at 16:59:02
Assalamu 'Alaikum,

              [quote]When i got married, almost 9 years ago, the Mahr i demanded was that he would teach me the Qoran and islam. [/quote]

              SubhanAllah! I haven't heard of any mahar better than this. May Allah increase you and your husband in eeman and taqwa, and give the rest of the Muslimeen same taufeeq (Ameen). Reminds me of the hadeeth: For whoever Allah intends favor, gives him understanding of Deen (Al-Islam).

             [quote]i mean, as  a revert, and a student, i did not need money, we should not have much gold, as muslims, we should more care about poor people than our needs. [/quote]

            The provision that is less but sufficient is better than which is more but making negligent (of Allah and Akhirah) : Prophet Muhammad (saw).

Wassalam.
10/06/03 at 17:09:40
Tesseract


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