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is it haram or something???

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is it haram or something???
NightmareGirl
09/11/03 at 18:56:36
i dont kwn if its in culture or relegion.....i have seen dat normally if let say a girl is talkin to a guy and let say he asks her if she is fasting (during ramzan)...or has she prayed today.......and if she has her periods she normally just lies or something....but wont tell clearly that she has her periods......
is it haram to say it out or is it just out of modesty?
just wondering
Re: is it haram or something???
hayat
09/12/03 at 04:28:01
salam

hey that would interest me too. i was wondering about that a time ago too. so awaiting the answers  :-X
ws
hayat
Re: is it haram or something???
jannah
09/12/03 at 05:42:43
[slm]

You don't have to lie, nor do you have to be explicit. Some guys really don't understand or forget that a sister doesn't have to pray or fast certain times.

You should hear some of our funny and creative answers we've made up...

"Umm.. it's ok you go ahead..."

"Oh man is it dhuhr time already? ok gotta go salaam..."

"fasting today? ma'shallah i love ramadan, isn't it great..."

i guess avoidance is my best technique ;)
Re: is it haram or something???
theOriginal
09/12/03 at 09:17:55
[slm]

Agreed with Jannah.  And to further clarify...don't tell him the truth.  The only reason not to tell the truth might be immodesty, but that's a big enough reason, don't you think?  Plus I would imagine it might make the brother umcomfortable, and hence you uncomfortable.  

Unneeded two cents.

Wasalaam.
Re: is it haram or something???
Kathy
09/12/03 at 10:38:59
[slm]

I am still trying to  figure out why in the world a guy would ask you if you are fasting or praying? Reverts get asked the question alot, by members of the same gender... inside I just want to say 'duh'... :P, but most of the time I just say 'of course, why wouldn't i be?' ;)

A couple of weeks ago an important message was given to the community at Jummaht prayer. I did not get it because I could not pray.  ;-) Later the Imam reminded me, because I did not do what the message was about, that he did indeed give the announcement and said that he knows that I attend jummah prayer.

sigh... :-) i just looked down at the ground and with a smile said.. 'you know there hapens to be a reason a woman might not have to pray.'

He smirked, in a how stupid can I be way...

I had  said it gently, away from a crowd...and he, who is married, just happen to forget...

Now, I could have made an excuse, but Insha Allah, by my slight reminder, from a good woman, he will probably never make the mistake again... He was red for a moment or two... but i am sure he is glad he said it to me instead of some easily embarrassed gal.

Which reminds me... let your sons know why you aren't praying... they need to learn some place!
09/12/03 at 10:40:38
Kathy
Re: is it haram or something???
Caraj
09/12/03 at 12:22:45
Ok, I'm going out on a limb here.
Why is a woman not required or not allowed to pray or fast during this time?

I notice a lot of cultures belive simular things. I am into Native American ways and you are not suppose to go to the sweat lodge or do certain things during this time.

Some cultures say cause you are unclean during this time, some say a woman has stronger medician at that time (nat amer)

I imagine it may a health thing. I imagine all of woman feel different and vulnerable at that time but geeesh, I have to get all my things done on or off it, so I guess even though I don't feel myself I have to ignore it.

Info and input please?

I often wondered if these things were done back centuries ago for hyiegene reasons. I mean a while back (maybe a century)people thought taking a bath to often was unhealthy and now folks take daily baths.

Some had to go to public baths as until the last 100 yrs many had not bathrooms in the house. Is it a thing of the past that we do as a taboo thing? I mean with personal hyiegene care and supplies avail now and meds and cleaniliness.
Kind of like folks use to think the world was ending with meteror showers and when they saw a comet, now we don't fear such things as we understand them. make sense?

The fast thing, I can only guess it is so they do not get weak. But if you eat before and after that is still twice a day.
Oh and another question, is the not praying or fasting while it is that time, is that optional or required?
09/12/03 at 12:25:49
Caraj
Re: is it haram or something???
Nabila
09/12/03 at 13:04:00
[slm]

Right - here is my attempt to answer azizahs questions :)

Well, first of all, a person is considered 'ritually unclean' during some times- i.e. after sexual intercourse or during her menses (for men the after after intercourse bit applies too). This is because the person is physically unclean, *not* because they are spiritually unclean as many people think. A muslim must be both spiritually and physically clean before worshipping their Lord.

Secondly, it is a concession to women as well, as many women experience severe cramping and mood swings and so on during this time, it also makes things easier for women during this time.

Well, thats all I know about it. :)

ma asalaamah and take care
 
Re: is it haram or something???
Maliha
09/12/03 at 19:52:57
[slm]

this is a funny topic.
what do you tell to a little boy???

the other day at jumuah i was sitting in the back while others were praying. A curious 4 yr old came up to me. he said "you know, i am 4, when i am 7 i will *have* to pray" (he stressed on the *have to*)...then he looked at me, with the soulful I-dont-understand-why-you-are-not-praying look  :P

i was really amused. and lucky for me a 4 yr old is very easy to distract :-X

agghhh our growing pains:)


[wlm]
Re: is it haram or something???
Nawawi
09/12/03 at 20:34:10
[quote author=NightmareGirl link=board=sis;num=1063317396;start=0#0 date=09/11/03 at 18:56:36]i dont kwn if its in culture or relegion.....i have seen dat normally if let say a girl is talkin to a guy and let say he asks her if she is fasting (during ramzan)...or has she prayed today.......
just wondering[/quote]

[slm]

I would say to him or her:

It is bad adab for a Muslim to ask another Muslim if he is praying not or fasting not.

If they say no.

You put yourself in a dilemma.

As Allah's Messenger has said, "It is enough evil for a Muslim to look down upon his (Muslim) brother.''
[Muslim].  

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said, "Allah will cover up on the Day of Resurrection the defects (faults) of the one who covers up the faults of the others in this world".
[Muslim].  

You don't wanna look down upon your brother or sister.
and you don't want uncover your brother or sisters faults.

However if you are trying to encourage a weak Muslim to fast or pray.  Merely invite them to the Masjid to pray or invite them to iftra if is is Ramadaam.  Doing this is better adab.

And Allah knows best.

[size=6]or[/size]

You can be bold, and implement one of the virtues that Jannah mentioned in the Taqwa folder,

[quote]
FRANKNESS
 "Fear God, and make your utterance straight forward: That He may make your conduct whole and sound." (33:70-71) [/quote]

and just quote this hadith,

The messenger of Allah said :

"Part of someone's being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not [u]concern[/u] him."

fine hadith narrated by Tirmithi and others


and Allah knows best.

:) :) :) ;-)



09/12/03 at 20:35:12
Nawawi
Re: is it haram or something???
Potato
09/12/03 at 23:24:04
[slm]

If a female friend asks me whether or not i am fasting on a particular day during during Ramadan, I don't have a problem with that because she probably has something in mind, like maybe I need to eat and she's holding me up or both of us aren't fasting and we can go have lunch together.  However, if a brother were to ask me that, I would think it is a reflection of poor adab.   You don't have to answer that.  Just tell him, it's Ramadan, answer the question yourself.  Similarly, I think it's in poor taste for a menstruating woman to eat in front of others during Ramadan.  Out of decency, you shouldn't go around announcing that you're having your period, just as you wouldn't announce to the world that you have to go urinate, defecate, or pass gas.  Sorry for being so crude, but I've encountered sisters who think they have the right to eat in public during Ramadan if they're excused due to their period.   ::)

[wlm]
Re: is it haram or something???
pearl
09/13/03 at 11:26:47
[slm]

IMO, it's bad adab to ask a woman if she's fasting, for obvious reasons!  ;)

But, it can be problematic to ask a man, too.  Perhaps he is not fasting and would like to fast, but cannot due to health problems. It's his personal business. Should he have to explain it and reassure the questioner that he is not committing a terrible sin?

It's probably safer to wish each other Ramadan Mubarak and leave it at that.  :-)

Pearl

 


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