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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Childbirth in the later years |
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| Caraj |
| 09/12/03 at 11:58:57 |
| After reading lucid9's question in another post, it gave me the idea for this thread. I would like to know how sisters (and brothers) feel about such things as childbrth in the later years, downs syndrome, tests like amniosentisis (may not of spelled that right) and abortion. I never had read anything about Islams stand on abortion. Never came across anything of this matter. If you were having a child latter in life they offer such tests before the child is born. For some this is their way of preparing, for others it is a way to find out if they should end a prenacy should something be wrong. My friend had this done about 6 years back when she bacame pregnet and having her other child literally 19 years prior. She said the test takes weeks to come back (2 or 3) and during that time you angonize over what you will do if something is wrong. The test alone can bring on early labor as they stick a needle through the moms belly and inside to get a sample of the amniotic fluid. My husband and I are seriously considering trying to have a child we are 41 and 38 and I don't know if I would even want this test although doctors highly recommend it at my age. I would just prefer to not worry about it till it happens (Actually it would worry me either way to be honest) You don't have this test till the 4th or 5th month, by then you have heard it's heartbeat and felt it inside you. I don't think I could bring myself to end the pregnecy so why bother even having the test? Some say to prepare, how could one even prepare for such a happening? What are your thoughts on special needs children? Abortion if a fetus is not right? Tests to find out? My daughter-in-law who is due anyday now (she is over due) with my first grandchild (granddaughter) thinks I should just be happy being a grandma now. Another question for everyone, is the risk worth it? I am dealing with that question in my head now. My husband would like a child but also says if not that is fine too. I would feel bad if his first and maybe only child was not healthy. Input and feelings on this matter are deeply appreciated by both sisters and brothers. |
| 09/12/03 at 12:29:43 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Childbirth in the later years |
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| Potato |
| 09/13/03 at 00:05:22 |
| [slm] Sister, you're not too old to have a normal child. Remember Khadija married the prophet [saw] when she was 40, and they had 6 children. This is a paranoid society that freaks you out about everything. From a medical perspective, amniocentesis is done routinely in pregnant women 35 and older. This isn't because women over 35 are highly likely to have a child with a defect. It's more of a legality. Before the age of 35, the risk of miscarriage as a direct result of the procedure itself is greater than the general risk of miscarriage the pregnancy would have. Therefore, there's more risk to the pregnancy from the procedure itself, so it's not done unless there's a pressing need for it. (Am I making sense?) At the age of 35, the two risks are pretty much equal, so that's why they start doing it at that age. Down syndrome is pretty much the most common defect that occurs in babies born to older mothers. However, that again does not mean that the risk is very low all your life and then when you get to 40 it jumps up all of a sudden. It's a gradual increase. But definitely yes, a 45 year-old mother has a significantly greater chance of having a Down syndrome baby than does a 21 year-old mother. From an Islamic perspective, I don't believe voluntary abortion is allowed simply because a baby is known to have a defect. If you go ahead and become pregnant, you have to know that Allah is the one who gave the life and you have no right to decide whether the child should live or not. You have to be prepared to accept whatever the child ends up being. Some things have become so acceptable nowadays we often find ourselves going with the flow and forgetting that there's an Islamic perspective on everything. I'll try to find you some concrete references, but I think this basically summarizes the opinions you will find. :-) [wlm] |
| 09/13/03 at 11:39:24 |
| Potato |
| Re: Childbirth in the later years |
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| Maliha |
| 09/13/03 at 08:36:47 |
| [slm] i learnt about this procedure just recently from a 33 year old pregnant sister of mine. I was as horrified as she was! She said the doctor just sat her down, and explained the process and off handedly added that she would have the choice if she would like to "terminate" the pregnancy. How sick??!!!!! >:( I mean seriously...she was very calm, and explained that she doesn't believe in killing a child simply because the child may not be normal. If Allah wanted her to have a special child she would take care of him/her the best she could and Inshaallah get her rewards from Allah. The doctor was shocked...apparently it's not an answer he expected. I don't know back home i know a lot of women who had children over the age of 40 (this is in Kenya) and I don't know a single one of them that had any defects/problems Walhamdullillah. The reverse could be true. All gifts that we have are from Allah, and He chooses to give whom He wills and withhold from whom He wills. I guess when you really make the decision to have a baby, make that decision consciously deciding that whomever Allah gives you, you will take care of her/him and leave the rest to Allah. My friend didn't even want the test done. The doctor ultimately respected her decision. she just gave birth to a 10 pounds *healthy* bouncing baby boy ;D Alhamdullillah:) [wlm] |
| Re: Childbirth in the later years |
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| Caraj |
| 09/13/03 at 20:41:43 |
| Thank you both for your responses. People think I am crazy and think at 41 and with grown and married sons I should enjoy life. Problem is I was enjoying life when I was a full time mom. I miss the cuddling, snuggling, reading stories, teaching things and such. If God wills it I would love to have 2 or 3 more. I had all sons and at the time all I wanted was sons and I was blessed with such, now I long for daughters. I worry though if they would rebel as I am old fashioned. The test for defects, I think if the time comes I would prefer not to have it and risk the child. Being pregnet has those raging hormones and I would be to consumed in worry but after a child is born, healthy or not you are to busy caring and loving it to worry. Thank you for the encouragement, the docs here at the Naval hospital kind of act like I have no right, the idiots. They are discouraging and talk about the much higher risks. Any others know of women in their family having children at older ages? Brothers, if you married later in life would you want to risk having a hogher chance of a baby with a defect? Another concern I have it I think Grandparents are very very special and play an inportant role in a childs life, would we be around to be grandparents to the kids children? I mean if someone married at like 20 or 22 I would be like in my 60's. Maybe I can live till 80 or so ;D |
| 09/13/03 at 20:42:38 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Childbirth in the later years |
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| Fozia |
| 09/14/03 at 08:13:21 |
| [slm] My friend recently had a healthy baby boy about two weeks ago, she's 38, she chose to have a CVS, they take a sample of the placenta I think, and it carries a 2% risk of miscarriage. Before they offer a CVS (or I think she requested it), they carry out a dating scan and check for anomalies aswell, they also do loads of blood tests, the results of which tell you if you are high risk or not. She wasn't but still wanted the additional assurance of a CVS... On the other hand my aunt had her first son a year ago, she is well in her 40's. She chose not to have any tests whatsoever, her baby is alhamdulillah very healthy... The thing about the CVS is that by the time the results were given my friend was near 20 weeks pregnant... I remember I could feel little flutters by about 13 weeks, my sister said she could feel them sooner when she was pregnant. I initially put them down to a grumbling tummy, as I had very serious morning sickness so was permenantly hungry for the first 17 weeks... Personally I don't think I'd do the tests, I only ended up doing the bloods, as I was so sick my mother said yes to everything and I had my head down the toilet so couldn't argue. I guess it really depends on what your choice would be if you got an undesirable result (Allah forbid), if you don't think you'd do anything, than I suggest stuff the tests and enjoy being pregnant.... Wasalaam PS I'm pretty sure Islam forbids terminating a pregnancy on the basis of the child having d/s or such, terminations are not allowed after the first forty days (I think it's forty days). |
| Re: Childbirth in the later years |
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| Potato |
| 09/14/03 at 11:51:26 |
| [slm] Sister Azizah, When I was doing my obstetrics rotation, we had a couple of mothers in their 40's who gave birth to Down syndrome babies. It was very traumatic, especially as it was the first baby or one of them. In that sense, I guess having an amniocentesis can make one prepared emotionally should they baby turn out abnormal. On the flip side, I personally know a number of sisters who have had children in their 40's and who were all normal. All children are a gift from Allah, so know that whatever you do end up with, it is what Allah wanted. It's not that scary. I think the chances of a 45 year-old woman having a baby with Down syndrome is something like 1 out of 25. Scary when you compare to what it is for a 25 year-old, but not that scary. :-X [wlm] |
| Re: Childbirth in the later years |
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| Caraj |
| 09/14/03 at 13:53:54 |
| You were very close and actually it looks like it is a little bit better odds. 1 in 32 but that is still a little scary. What chance was it we were discussing this and an artical was on the pc today :) Here it is below for anyone wondering as I was. Thank you everyone for your posts. Looks like if and when we decide the worse odds are the becoming pregnet part, guess it will sure be Gods will as the odds are awful. Bet mine are even worse since I have not been pregent in 24 years. I am so thankful I had my sons early. **************************************** Pregnancy in your 30s Is it riskier? Expert: Russell Turk, M.D. What are the risks of having a baby after age 35? Overall, the risks faced by women over 35 during pregnancy have been greatly exaggerated. In fact, many recent well-designed studies have shown that in healthy women, the risks of delaying pregnancy are minimal. In fact, what's most important is the health of the mother before she conceives. That's good news, because it's something you can control. Any woman considering getting pregnant should probably meet with her doctor or midwife for a thorough examination. A detailed medical and family history of both prospective parents can identify conditions that might affect the health of mother and baby. advertisement That said, older women are more likely to have or develop certain medical conditions during pregnancy such as diabetes, hypertension, and placenta previa (when the placenta lies low in the uterus, partly or completely covering the cervix). These conditions require closer monitoring and may place limitations on the woman's diet, and may have serious consequences for the pregnancy. Another problem is that the odds of having a baby with a genetic defect increase as you get older. For example, the risk of Down syndrome rises from one in 885 at age 30 to one in 365 at age 35, one in 109 at age 40, and one in 32 at age 45. If you're almost or over 40, you should strongly consider genetic testing because the risk of genetic problems increases significantly. Because chromosomal abnormalities are the most common reason for miscarriage, the risk of miscarriage also increases with age. Lastly, most studies show an increased risk of needing to deliver by cesarean section for women over 35, though the exact reasons are not clear. The biggest obstacle for women over age 35 may be getting pregnant. A woman hits her peak fertility between the ages of 20 and 24. In women ages 35 to 39, fertility is at least one quarter less than maximum. In women 40 to 45, the chances of becoming pregnant are 95 percent less than those of a woman in her twenties. Even with infertility treatments such as in vitro fertilization, women have more problems conceiving as they age. Once you've considered these issues, you can concentrate on the same things that should accompany a healthy pregnancy at any age: good prenatal care, proper diet, and emotional and financial preparation for the child you'll care for over the next 18 years. |
| 09/14/03 at 13:57:36 |
| Caraj |
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