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| What would you do? |
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| Sunnah |
| 09/28/03 at 14:02:27 |
| [slm] What would you do when… you are in utter depression, because so many things is happening around you… :( :( :( :( your parents are sick…mother sick yet she has to cook, cuz no one else does… :( your one sister is sick…has a tumor on her ovaries…she is only 26 years old with one baby girl… :( :( what would u do when another sister is suffering so much, because of poverty…her husband needs only one thousands dollars and you can’t even give them that cuz u are only a students with a job of $6.75 an hour… :( :( what do u do when one more sister keeps on talking and talking to her boyfriend from home, in front of her parents, without caring what they think… what do u do when you see that your parents keep quiet cuz if they say something she will run away… and they don’t want lose their honor… what do u do when you have a friend (a guy)… u know its wrong to talk to any guy, but you do, because you are the only person he has in this world to whom he can tell all of his sorrow…and who can make him laugh….who he sees as only a sister…nothing more…would u think its still wrong to talk to him??? What would u do when you have a sister-in-law (oldest brother’s wife) who broke the whole family APART made everyone dislike each other….cuz she is a filthy creature…who is nothing but evil… >:( :( What do u do when your oldest brother don’t care about anybody but all he care is about leaving his country… :( What do u do when the youngest brother tells you a secret, you are shocked at what he tells u, u need to talk to somebody about it, but cant… :'( What do u do when that brother changes…u r the only one who knows the reasons but can’t say, cuz it’s a secret… :( Tell me brothers and sisters, what this poor girl is suppose to do???????????????????????? :'( :'( Facts about that poor girl: because of so many problems…she is going crazy…she is only 20 years old…she can’t tell anything to anybody…not even to her best friend… everyone tells her their sorrows… she has the pressure to become somebody too… everyone wants her to be a doctor! But she feels that she can’t take all this pressure and study!... her parents wants her to work and study…and get some money….she is not that bright that she doesn’t need to study...when she works to much she can’t study or concentrate…beside her parents she is the only one who tries to Pray five times…and tell all her sorrows to Allah [swt] ….she is TOTALLY LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'( :'( :'( [wlm] |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Caraj |
| 09/28/03 at 14:42:52 |
| WOW, the poor thing :'( I have a few ideas to pass your way yet will need to do it a little later today. 1) With all this stress she may very well have been driven to depression. And may need a little help. 2) Well telling all us out here we can all make dua and pray for this sister. 3) Sounds like she needs a little breather and a little time to herself to gather her thoughts. Is there an emotionally healthy sister friend or family relative she can go visit for a week-end or a whole week? 4)Everyone is going to her about their sorrows, does she have anyone herself to go to? If for nothing else but to get all this off her back? Sometimes a good listener helps just by listening and when talking your situation out one finds their own solutions in just talking it all out. 5) Help her realize that she can feel compassion for some of these people but it is not her job to try to fix and help everything. Will add more to this later. This sister will be in my prayers. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| sofia |
| 09/29/03 at 12:18:45 |
| As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah, Sorry to hear that sister, seems like a lot of pressure. I don't have any specific advice for the issues mentioned, just some quick reminders. Remain steadfast and find peace in prayer. The Prophet (S) used to ask Bilal (r) to bring them peace, by calling the adhaan so they could commence to pray. There is no greater peace than striving to please Allah, to study the Qur'aan/sunnah, to act upon it, etc. As we know, with every hardship comes ease(s), and there is no burden Allah puts on a person that they cannot handle. Allah is Al-Ghafoor ar-Raheem, and al-Mujeeb (the one who responds to our prayers). So we should continuously turn to Him in du'aa and tawbah. He can bring us out of any situation and straighten our affairs, and He loves to hear our call to Him (our du'aa). One other thing is that an action that is considered haraam or even makrooh (ex/hanging out with non-mahrem guys) is not a means to greater good. Good actions bring about good, and the believers will be rewarded with good in this life and again in the next, by the will of Allah. We should seek to surround ourselves with good Muslim sisters - at [i]least[/i] one. Shaytaan is like the wolf who preys on the sole sheep, and is with the female and male (alone together) who are non-mahrem. So surround yourself with good Muslimahs - it makes a huge difference. Allah helps the one who tries to please Him, and for everything we give up for Him, He will replace it with something better for us. And remember that there are people going through much worse than us, and some are given hardship as a means to get closer to Allah, while others are only driven further away. And with all the faults others may have, we have enough that we need to call ourselves to account for. Read the Qur'aan as often as you can, insha'Allah. And remember that the believer gets closer to Allah by performing sincere superogatory good deeds. May Allah make it easier for you (or whoever is going through hardship), and make you amongst those who are closest to Him, aameen. One thing that just came to mind about family members in poverty, does their local masjid know about their condition? Usually, masjids are actively looking for families who are need of zakaah/funds, and it's usually through private recommendations from community members that they come to know of them. [i]Rabbanaa 'aatinaa fid-dunyaa Hasanatan wa fil 'aakhirati Hasanatan wa qinaa 'Adhaaban-naar.[/i] O our Lord, grant us good in this life and good in the hereafter, and save us from the punishment of the fire. [Common du'aa and translation of the Qur'aan 2:201] [color=green]"Such is the admonition given to him who believes in God and the Last Day. And for those who fear God, He (ever) prepares a way out. And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in God, sufficient is (God) for him, for God will surely accomplish his purpose. Verily, for all things has God appointed a due proportion."[/color] (translation of the Qur'aan, 65:2-3). On the authority of Abu Dharr al-Ghefari (R) from the Prophet (S) is that among the sayings he relates from his Lord (SWT) is that He said: [color=blue] "O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another. O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you, O My servants, all of you are hungry except for those I have fed, so seek food of Me and I shall feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked except for those I have clothed, so seek clothing of Me and I shall clothe you. O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you. O My servants, you will not attain harming Me so as to harm Me, and will not attain benefitting Me so as to benefit Me. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, any more that a needle decreases the sea if put into it. O My servants, it is but your deeds that I reckon up for you and then recompense you for, so let him who finds good praise Allah and let him who finds other than that, blame no one but himself." [/color] Related by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah. |
| NS |
| 09/29/03 at 12:27:12 |
| sofia |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Maliha |
| 10/02/03 at 20:30:09 |
| [slm] Awwwwww sunnah {{{{{{{{{HUGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS}}}}}}}}}} Okay this is what I would do: first: have a good soulful cry...Girl sometimes that's *all* you need to get it out. maybe coupled with some chocolates, icecream or whatever your secret forbidden food is ;) second: I would sort out through things I have *direct* control over and things I simply can't do anything about. Like perhaps you can help your mom out? cooking or if you can't do that order food for the family? pizza is yummy:) or those fries thingies you simply put in the oven or sumthing? Jus' giving your mom a lil break might make a big difference:) The actions of your brothers and sisters no matter how much you love them, you can't do anything about..Except pull out a Powerful Weapon on them..AK47 Duah ;D And simply wake up into the depth of the night, take a shower (to be fresh), make some tea (to wake up), and simple pray heartily to Allah. Sit after even just two Rakaats, and let your heart do the talking to Allah...He KNOWS your deepest secrets and sometimes letting your heart just sit there, subdued, humbled, mumbling about all these problems yet the eyes are down cast becuz your heart really knows how much Allah loves you, and how Kind He has been no matter how many times *she* (your heart) has disobeyed Him and been ungrateful and despondent. Your heart will weave its tales, and feel the weight of His love just pressing until you won't be able to take it anymore...and in that moment you will be engulfed in His Divine Mercy, that Mercy that knows no bound, that Beauty that reaches deep, in the inner depths of your soul and extracts every emotion you have..everything...and you just let it out. For Him alone. No one else has to know. This will be your little secret :-* And every night, or in the sweet breezes of Fajr, you can make your way to the prayer rug, to sip from the overflowing cup of His Eloquence (The Quran) and simply, read, reflect, digest..a little at a time...just 10 minutes, 15minutes, an hour..what ever you can do..and let those words marinate in the soft sand dunes of your heart, perhaps one seed may take root and grow into the firm trenches of Imaan, that dig deep into your soul and then no matter what the world throws at you...you know you have your little secret and no one can take that away from you :-* It's nice that you care...but if you continue burning yourself you will be snuffed like a candle and will have no more to give...simply try to Reflect His everlasting Nur, His guidance and Tranquility in your life, and perchance this sweetness will inspire those around you to slow down a bit, and take a sip from the rivers that seem to nourish the life into your heart. Sweety, I am saying all this to say you can't give what you don't have...the best you can do for your family, is to strengthen your relationship with Allah, pour out your grief to Him, and let Him guide ever so subtly out of the seeming chaos of your life into His the peaceful abode of His bliss. I will make duah for you:) i am around if you ever wanna chat ;) ze Professional procrastinator :-) oh yeah and that bro/friend who talks to you cuz you are the "only" one who can listen to him ::) puhhllleeasseee its a line lotsa guys use...tell him to do the same, and for a while just keep ya distance aight ;) more wholesome for both of ya:) [wlm] [quote author=Sunnah link=board=sis;num=1064768548;start=0#0 date=09/28/03 at 14:02:27] [slm] What would you do when… you are in utter depression, because so many things is happening around you… :( :( :( :( your parents are sick…mother sick yet she has to cook, cuz no one else does… :( your one sister is sick…has a tumor on her ovaries…she is only 26 years old with one baby girl… :( :( what would u do when another sister is suffering so much, because of poverty…her husband needs only one thousands dollars and you can’t even give them that cuz u are only a students with a job of $6.75 an hour… :( :( what do u do when one more sister keeps on talking and talking to her boyfriend from home, in front of her parents, without caring what they think… what do u do when you see that your parents keep quiet cuz if they say something she will run away… and they don’t want lose their honor… what do u do when you have a friend (a guy)… u know its wrong to talk to any guy, but you do, because you are the only person he has in this world to whom he can tell all of his sorrow…and who can make him laugh….who he sees as only a sister…nothing more…would u think its still wrong to talk to him??? What would u do when you have a sister-in-law (oldest brother’s wife) who broke the whole family APART made everyone dislike each other….cuz she is a filthy creature…who is nothing but evil… >:( :( What do u do when your oldest brother don’t care about anybody but all he care is about leaving his country… :( What do u do when the youngest brother tells you a secret, you are shocked at what he tells u, u need to talk to somebody about it, but cant… :'( What do u do when that brother changes…u r the only one who knows the reasons but can’t say, cuz it’s a secret… :( Tell me brothers and sisters, what this poor girl is suppose to do???????????????????????? :'( :'( Facts about that poor girl: because of so many problems…she is going crazy…she is only 20 years old…she can’t tell anything to anybody…not even to her best friend… everyone tells her their sorrows… she has the pressure to become somebody too… everyone wants her to be a doctor! But she feels that she can’t take all this pressure and study!... her parents wants her to work and study…and get some money….she is not that bright that she doesn’t need to study...when she works to much she can’t study or concentrate…beside her parents she is the only one who tries to Pray five times…and tell all her sorrows to Allah [swt] ….she is TOTALLY LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'( :'( :'( [wlm] [/quote] |
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