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Sincere, blunt answers requested

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Sincere, blunt answers requested
Caraj
10/04/03 at 14:52:33
Ok guys, us women tend to talk about what a husband or son is doing wrong. We do at times  ::)  complain and wonder why we can't communicate with our husbands.

Sisters, this is a sincere request and I am asking you all to keep your comments to yourselves ok? Lets not come down on the bro's for being honest.

Ok all of you make believe you are our real blood brother born into our family and we have come to you cause we respect you and want your advice. We are either married with a few problems or about ready to get married.

I am requesting you advise us from a man's point of view up to 5 things you would suggest a woman do or not do. What a man needs to feel loved, respected, valued, appreciated,  etc and anything else you would like to let us know.

Thank you, sometimes we need to put aside our female emotions and try to seek understanding from the 'other' side.
10/04/03 at 14:53:37
Caraj
Re: Sincere, blunt answers requested
Nomi
10/05/03 at 06:46:16
My turn :)

I'm thankful to Allah [swt] for blessing me with a real blood sis who is a very practicing Muslimah mashaAllah but if it were upto me then i would have loved to have more real blood sisters of her likes or the likes of sis se7en,
sis Shahida, sis Nur_al_Layl, sis Talibat-ul-ilm and others on the board. But as they say, whatever you get is for your own good :)

So here is my naseeha to all you sisters out there...

1] Never ever lie, not even in jokes.

2] Get lotsa knowledge/education and use it for deen and dawah.

3] Love your mother-in-law the way you love your real mother, dont mind her harsh words the way you dont mind your real mother's, give her a massage even once in a while and forgive everyone when you go to bed at night.

4] If you look at the cosmetic product-line you'll see that most of them are for face, so its indeed the face that is adorned the most, and as Allah has ordered Muslimahs to hide their adornments so give "Niqaab" a thought. (i'll buy you all designs of your choice).

5] Don't spank me with your brooms for my naseeha.

wassalam.
Your Brother.
Re: Sincere, blunt answers requested
faisalsb
10/05/03 at 08:42:04
[slm]

Well sister Aziza I think it's good try and it might be helpfull for many sisters to understand MEN who they are going to live with rest all of their lives. But at the same time we should keep in our mind that our liking and dislikings are influenced by many factors and they can differ from person to person. So I don't think we can have something like five thumb rules to have satisfied husband or wife. Here is what I would like advice to my sisters on the board.

1) Don't challenge your husband not even if you are 100% sure that you are right

2) Never ever lie with him not even as joking (I'll agree with bro. Nomi on this)

3) Respect him as if he is your elder brother

4) Don't believe in any philosophy that man is like a horse what wife has to saddle because only a professional trainer can saddle a wild horse. If someone who is new to horses try to do so then he might be left with broken back and he might not be able to ride any horse in his life again even a normal one.

5) Don't believe him if he says what he wants is a friend, partner and independent wife
Re: Sincere, blunt answers requested
bhaloo
10/05/03 at 12:29:58
[slm]

Many of the members on the board have read the following book:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/006016848X/002-7810991-3974403?v=glance

And it addresses the problems that men and women have in communicating.  I think it should be required reading for everyone on the board.  Most of the stuff is pretty obvious, at least to me, but to a lot of people after reading it, its as if they have received some miraculous revelation.  

Being blunt is what usually gets men in trouble, I mean always. ;)  Let me give you an example.  I think the first post in this thread comes off as being too "whiny".  :P   (Yes, I should have kept that to myself, but that's just an example of what happens when one is blunt).
Re: Sincere, blunt answers requested
ltcorpest2
10/05/03 at 21:05:31
for some odd reason i am thinking of chocalate  oh yeah and prime rib.  not that it is a great revelation but it solves alot of my problems.  oh and one more thing,  if i watch the lord of the rings for the 10th time it is just a guy thing
Re: Sincere, blunt answers requested
Nomi
10/06/03 at 02:31:19
[slm]

[quote author=bhaloo link=board=bro;num=1065289953;start=0#3 date=10/05/03 at 12:29:58]I mean always ;) ...... Yes, I should have kept that to myself, but that's just an example of what happens when one is blunt.[/quote]

[quote author=azizah link=board=bro;num=1065289953;start=0#0 date=10/04/03 at 14:52:33]
Ok all of you make believe you are our real blood brother born into our family and we have come to you cause we respect you and want your advice. We are either married with a few problems or about ready to get married.

I am requesting you advise us from a man's point of view up to 5 things you would suggest a woman do or not do. What a man needs to feel loved, respected, valued, appreciated,  etc and anything else you would like to let us know.
[/quote]

heh... there had to be something !! if ye know what i mean :)
10/06/03 at 04:44:20
Nomi
Re: Sincere, blunt answers requested
flyboy_nz
10/06/03 at 06:16:42
[slm],

a'ight here's the deal Sis.

1. Respect- it has to be a 2-way thing.  If you overdo the respect thing from your side, then it can be a turn-off... give plenty of respect to his family, but maintain a sense of dignity (not in a snobbish way mind you) and this will command the respect back.

2. NEvER ever EVER whine or complain- if you don't like something, show your disapproval once, then drop it.  

3. Learn to forget and move on.  Don't waste life worrying about stuff, just forget and move on.

4. Talk to the bro when he's in a talkative mood. If he don't feel like talking, then don't press him to do so, coz that'll just push the angry buttons.

5. Lemme say it again, learn to forget and move on....

.................did that help?  If not, you know what to do ;)

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