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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| lucid9 |
| 10/09/03 at 06:33:38 |
| [slm] Don't you guys get real irritated when the law sides with women all the time. In case of divorce they get all the kids, and you get "visiting priveledges" Believe or not, in my opinion this is like the scariest thing about getting hitched. I mean suppose the dude in the skirt tells you to drop dead one day? Watcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do when they come for you? (They is referring to the divorce court judge). In my idiotic opinion i think guys are as good as girls are at parenting and often better. In fact, i betcha i know how to take care of children better than 99.9% of all women out there, and i betcha there are lotsa guys like that. From lots of the women i see, all they seem to wanna do is scream at the kid or beat the kid for making a ruckus at the supermarket or for not cleaning their rooms or being a bit out of control. I mean among the mothers out there, you got tons of emotionally distraught women who missed their daily prozac dose doing some serious child-beating day after day. To see it all you gotta do is get on the bus or go to the mall.... But no! Girls always think we're a bunch a losers at that....and so does us/british law. I always thought that in islamic law the guy gets the children although i'm confused about the following Abu Dawud has reported on the authority of Abdullah b. Amr b. al-As that a woman said: "Prophet of Allah, my womb is a vessel to this son of mine, my breasts are a water-skin for him, and my lap is a guard for him, yet his father has divorced me, and wants to take him away from me". The Prophet of Allah said: "You have more right to him as long as you do not marry". |
| 10/17/03 at 02:54:26 |
| lucid9 |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| Fozia |
| 10/09/03 at 07:45:20 |
| [slm] The woman has custody of the baby if the child is still breast feeding, she is also allowed custody unless she remarries, in which case custody is tranferred to the father. Br. Hyper I'm not going to dispute your wonderfullness at being a father however, if you go out to work all day, how are you going to fulfill your role??? Wassalaam |
| 10/09/03 at 07:45:36 |
| Fozia |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| gift |
| 10/09/03 at 08:41:56 |
| [quote author=hyper link=board=bro;num=1065692018;start=0#0 date=10/09/03 at 06:33:38] I mean among the mothers out there, you got tons of emotionally distraught women who missed their daily prozac dose doing some serious child-beating day after day. To see it all you gotta do is get on the bus or go to the mall.... [/quote] Woah! Bro are you being serious - or are you just trying to be provocative ??? [wlm] |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| BrKhalid |
| 10/10/03 at 06:44:53 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) Okay okay can we quit with the generalisations and stick to the substance ;-) As an aside I think all would be parents should take a practical and written examination before they are allowed to raise childen ;) |
| 10/10/03 at 06:45:16 |
| BrKhalid |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| faisalsb |
| 10/11/03 at 07:30:18 |
| [slm] :) Well just wondering if what brother hyper has said is correct then why woman was choosen to give birth to kids instead of man? There must be some wisdom behind that selection of Allah Subhan Wa Tallah isn't it? |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| Caraj |
| 10/11/03 at 13:24:26 |
| I have had a little experience in matters of custody. Guardian ad litem. I'm a real big fan of joint custody unless one parent has some major and proven problems. Just because parents don't get along in my opinion doesn't mean the child should suffer by lack of time with one parent. Many who can see past their own problems and anger will chose to live in the same city so either can take the child to school at any given time. I'm very against every other week-end and alternate hoildays. That is simply (again in my opinion) not enough bonding time. However if the non custodial parent chooses to live away then that is their choice (as long as the other parent isn't purposely not moving every time the other tries. Which I've seen done) Men in many cases make the better parent it just depends upon the situation. I have seen it where the mother was so involved with finding her next parner ( or better yet trying to find herself ::) through extra activities outside the work place and home) and had no time for the kids and the Dad wanting to be with the children except to only be away to work. I've seen men more nuturing than woman, it is a situation to situation call. I made a lady mad one day when she said she was trying to find herself. I told her the time to do that was before the kids came along or after they were raised. That they did not ask to be brought into this world and since she brought them in she signed an unseen mothers pact to help them find themselves for the next 18 years not go off and find herself at their neglect. I think I ticked her off, oh well. As a couple (the idea situation) mothers, in many cases seem better at protecting them in the younger years and dad seem better at teaching independance in the later years where moms tend to be more protective and have a hard time letting go. In conclusion I truly believe the reason the Almighty made it so it took two parents to make a child was cause it takes two parents to raise that child ;) Sadly I realize that can not always be the case. Just my .02 cents ;) |
| 10/11/03 at 13:33:38 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| Musafir |
| 10/15/03 at 01:38:34 |
| [slm] just my opinion ------ My Mom is the Best --- :-)----- :) parent rather every mom is best & Dad is Koool . 8) as a child (even now) when ever I feel down/sad/worried its in the mom's shadow I would find peace and Tranquility (after Sallah ). & afcourse guys always go to mom to get their thing done from dad :D There's Rasool Allah's [saw] Hadith which stress on Mother's status and importance @ 3 degrees above father. Just remembered Ar Rahman's Maa Tujay Sallam. a musiacal dedication :-[ {I am writting as a guy - donno about grls what they feel} ::) here is a small opem which i had written in dedication to mom as well as women (in mother's role) in general Oh! Woman- Many colors flow in you; Many shades blend in you Oh! Woman. Many face has God carved you in; But the most beautiful face is the Mother You are in seen. Words may run out of breath in describing you; At times you bloom like a flower, burst like lava And fall like a dew. You deserve the most respect in God’s creations; Your beauty lies in your modesty, your love and Your emotions. Praise be to God, Whose creation is you, Many colors flow in you; Many shades blend in you Oh! Woman. From you has come Kings, beggars to Prophets and Messengers; And you has remain still, passed the test of the time, but we (men) Has just been passengers. You have raised the seeds of Great Civilizations in your pious Womb; There have always been in your memory, raised monuments, wonders And build tomb. Materials, machines, cities and money must have been built by Man, But still there is no world without you; And still what we (men) do, the credit goes back to you Oh! Woman. Many colors flow in you; Many shades blend in you Oh! Woman. [wlm] ---------------m.u.s.a.f.i.r-------------------- |
| 10/15/03 at 01:39:35 |
| Musafir |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| Emerald |
| 10/16/03 at 22:27:21 |
| Hyper...I'm sure there are ALOT of dads out there who can do a better job than SOME moms but for you to say that you can do a better job than 99.9% of the women out there is ridiculous! Now that is just wrong! You are really insulting a woman's God given ability to raise her children, especially when she's doing it right. Have you spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week with 4 kids if not more? They would have you spinning in circles brother. Raising children is not as easy as it may seem. I know someone with three boys (she's like the super mom) who is truly starting to get symptoms of general anxiety and depression because it just gets way too overwhelming for her. About priviledges or lack of given to dads by the courts...I agree there should be more. If only they followed Islamic custody laws. Emerald |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| lucid9 |
| 10/17/03 at 02:53:21 |
| [quote author=Emerald link=board=bro;num=1065692018;start=0#7 date=10/16/03 at 22:27:21]Hyper...I'm sure there are ALOT of dads out there who can do a better job than SOME moms but for you to say that you can do a better job than 99.9% of the women out there is ridiculous! Now that is just wrong! [color=red]You are really insulting a woman's God given ability to raise her children, especially when she's doing it right.[/color][/quote] Oh la la!! [quote] Have you spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week with 4 kids if not more? [/quote] Oui madame... [quote] They woqld have you spinning in circles brother. Raising children is not as easy as it may seem. I know someone with three boys (she's like the super mom) who is truly starting to get symptoms of general anxiety and depression because it just gets way too overwhelming for her. [/quote] Je comprende... [quote] About priviledges or lack of given to dads by the courts...I agree there should be more. If only they followed Islamic custody laws. [/quote] hmm... |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| Nomi |
| 10/17/03 at 03:02:57 |
| [slm] [quote author=Emerald link=board=bro;num=1065692018;start=0#7 date=10/16/03 at 22:27:21] They would have you spinning in circles brother. Raising children is not as easy as it may seem. I know someone with three boys (she's like the super mom)[/quote] I agree to the text in bold! Men may have these muscles and powers but women definitly have much more patience and sabr to raise children not to say that dads should pass them the diapers :P. But my sis you dint read the poor guy's signatures :) wassalam The defender :) |
| Re: Males or females: who are best at parenting? |
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| yumna |
| 10/23/03 at 10:41:43 |
| [slm][quote][/They would have you spinning in circles brother. Raising children is not as easy as it may seem. I know someone with three boys (she's like the super mom) who is truly starting to get symptoms of general anxiety and depression because it just gets way too overwhelming for her.] :PHUUUN THATS RITE ! |
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