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The virtues of giving unwanted advice

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The virtues of giving unwanted advice
lucid9
10/11/03 at 08:34:00
[slm]

I am a habitual giver of unwanted advice.  Usually this doesn't get me into too much trouble.  But every now and then someone's eyes start bulging, their muscles become taught, and they scream in my face "SHUT UP!"

Okay so, i tend to irritate people a lot.  But even so, i would argue that giving unwanted advice is very fruitful; not necessarily for the one it is intended for, but for the one giving the advice.

For example, tablighis have this thing where after maghrib somebody gets up and preaches to everybody.  Usually the speech is totally disjointed, totally disorganized and sometimes very boring, but filled with tidbits of good information.  I used to get so irritated at tablighis for such carelessness.  I used to think why do they show such lack of preparation when talking about such important issues as religion, when if they were asked to give a presentation to the senior management of their companies -- their talks would be highly coreographed, scripted and professional.  I discovered, the whole point is that they are in a constant state of advising via speeches and have no time for preparation.

You might think what is the point of them giving speeches which don't really benefit others that much because they are giving so many of them?  The point is, it benefits them!  When you advise, as the tablighis like to say, the first people hearing the advice is the one doing the speaking.  And even if nobody else is benefited, at least the speaker is.

And I for one can vouch for that.  Sometimes after giving my trashy advice on this website, i go home and actually think about what i wrote (not that thinking for me is such a common activity), and it helps me internalize things which i know are true, but have never really internalized.  In fact, yesterday i thought about something i said, and suddenly a few things which i had actually never really understood became clear to me.  Its amazing what you can come up when giving (unwanted) advice!

So my advice to you to all is to give advice!! And in any case, the prophet said in a very famous hadith

Innad deena naseeha.....

Religion is all about advising (or sincerity)....
10/12/03 at 17:13:15
lucid9
Re: The virtues of giving unwanted advice
bhaloo
10/11/03 at 11:05:21
[slm]

First let me start of by saying that users (non-moderator type people) are limited to posting 5 posts a day here, in the past we've been lax in this because we do trust people to follow the rules.  

In general its good to offer support to others, but in religious matters, speaking without knowledge is a dangerous matter. Allah said in Surat al-Isra’, Ayah 36:
[Do not act or give judgements in the Religion without knowledge. On the Day of Judgment one’s ears, eyes, and heart will be asked about their deeds.]

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, also advised in this matter. Both at-Tirmidhiyy (in his book Al-Jami^) and the hafidh, Ibn Muhammad Ibn Abu Bakr al-Qurashiyy (in his book, As-Samt, which means "The Silence") narrated from Prophet Muhammad that he said:
<<Say something good or else keep silent.>>

This advice is important to follow because giving judgments in the Religion without knowledge is among the ways which lead a person to be a loser in the Hereafter. Indeed, this matter is among the top reasons leading people to enter Hellfire. The one who says something is "halal"  (permissible) or "haram" (forbidden) in the Religion without relying on a valid religious permission to do so is sinful and deserves the severe torture in Hellfire.

The pious, knowledgeable people said it is a very good act for the person to say: "I do not know," when it is applicable to do so. If one does not know the religious judgment on a particular case, he should not venture his own opinion on it. Once, when Imam ^Aliyy was asked about something which he did not know, he said, "I do not know." Then he added, "How soothing it is for me to say ‘I do not know’ when I do not know." Imam ^Aliyy meant that he felt comfortable not to answer a religious question when he did not know the answer to it. We should take heed and follow the words of Imam ^Aliyy in this matter. He was one of the most honored Companions of the Prophet--known for his high level of knowledge and comprehension in the Religion.

Once, when Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, was asked what the best and the worst places were, he answered:
"I do not know. I will ask Jibril." When the Prophet asked Jibril, Jibril also said, "I do not know." After a period of time, Jibril returned to Prophet Muhammad with the answer which Allah revealed to him: "The worst places are the markets and the best places are the mosques."

This is a sahih hadith related by Imam Muslim and others. The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, taught us a very important lesson by his response. It is not shameful for one to reply, "I do not know" when it is applicable, but it is shameful to speak about religious matters without knowledge. Only Allah knows everything. For the Muslim to be safe on the Day of Judgment, he should speak only about what he knows. If one needs an answer to a Religious question, he should ask one more
knowledgeable than himself or a trustworthy Muslim who can ask another pious, knowledgeable Muslim. This is the way the knowledge of the Religion is taught, and this is the way the knowledge is preserved.
Re: The virtues of giving unwanted advice
Caraj
10/11/03 at 13:13:24
[quote author=bhaloo link=board=madrasa;num=1065872040;start=0#1 date=10/11/03 at 11:05:21][slm]

First let me start of by saying that users (non-moderator type people) are limited to posting 5 posts a day here, in the past we've been lax in this because we do trust people to follow the rules.  

[/quote]

Bhaloo, I have a question if I may, actually would like a clarification on this rule so I can make sure I follow it. I thought Jannah mentioned 5 in a day or 35 in a week. Sometimes I may not post a day or a few days, sometimes I do one or two posts in a day and sometimes when a thread is moving I have been known to do 7 or 8 in a day. But then not post a couple/three days.

Would you prefer folks to stick to 5 a day or is it ok as long as it evens out.
Thank you for any clarification. I was under the impression 5 a day or 35 a week. Thank you.
Re: The virtues of giving unwanted advice
timbuktu
10/11/03 at 15:21:45
[slm] 5 posts a day or 35 posts a week was/is the rule.

---
now i have a question:

could it be 150 posts a month, or 1825 posts a year?

imagine Nomi posting 1825 posts in a day, & keeping quiet for the next 364 days.

just kidding, in case someone takes this seriously, & starts posting the year's  quota.
10/11/03 at 15:22:50
timbuktu
Re: The virtues of giving unwanted advice
jannah
10/11/03 at 17:07:29
[wlm]

I think it's important for us to advise each other and also be careful of what we say. Jazakumaa Allahu khairan to hyper and bhaloo for the good points.

Azizah go with the 35 per week guideline... because I know some people can only get on certain days.
Re: The virtues of giving unwanted advice
wired-up
10/13/03 at 06:29:57
Assalamualaikum

Yeah its really good giving sincere advice backed with proper knowledge and understanding .

My problem is I dont know the "style" of giving advice .Many people say i am blunt .....and some say rude ...I'd like to think ".Hey ! i'm just straight forward okay ???" ...

So yeah give beneficial advice but in a kind and tactical manner . ;)

Wassalaam
10/13/03 at 06:30:45
wired-up
Re: The virtues of giving unwanted advice
theOriginal
10/13/03 at 13:03:55
[slm]

The best thing to do with advice, is to pass it on....no one ever listens anyway.

I'm joking...brother hyper, don't worry about dispensing advice.  Usually, people need to hear it.  Just don't sound preachy.  That is a dangerous thing.  It also causes people to tune out.  And, from what I can see on this board (which is not much), you spend so much time in self-beration that self-righteousness is highly improbable.  

So don't worry...iz awl good.

Wasalaam.


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