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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Sometimes, it is hard to follow ones own advice |
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| Caraj |
| 10/12/03 at 17:31:58 |
| Sometimes it is so hard to follow your own advice. I am facing that situation now. When is one 'Loving the meanness' out of a person and when does it cross the line of kissing ones backside :o I know, a bit crass but is a milder way of saying it than I feel right now. I have been through a few of lifes experience and can only share from that. Whenever I have responded to a post it was from the heart and from experience. However I am at a point of telling one of my sons and his wife I have been kissing butt for 4 years and am tired of being verbally abused and a doormat. I don't want to stoop to their level yet I am tired of being sweet, loving and eatting crow just to make peace. >:( :( Tears and sadness are turning into anger and being fed up and not giving a darn anymore. (sigh) A person can only take so much. But knowing me, I'll be back to being loving, forgiving and kind again, only to be treated like a dog. |
| 10/12/03 at 17:37:06 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Sometimes, it is hard to follow ones own advic |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 10/12/03 at 21:05:56 |
| One thing that helps me when i feel that i am in your situation is reminding myself that when i am nice to someone it's for my own benefit. I am the one who will be held accountable for the way i treat someone in the afterlife. i will also be getting sawab, or good deeds when someone treats me wrongly and i have patience and i respond to them kindly. however, if someone treats me wrong, and i treat them wrong back, then i lost out on the chance of getting sawab from them for treating me bad, plus i am also getting sins, because i am treating them bad. remember you are strong, and keep praying inshAllah. *smile*.... |
| Re: Sometimes, it is hard to follow ones own advic |
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| Caraj |
| 10/12/03 at 21:40:51 |
| Onemuslimgirl, As I read your reply, tears came to my eyes, I took a deep breath and sighed and in my heart told the Almighty, ok, ok I know, I know. Thank you for the reminder Sister, I was soooooo angry earlier today. I needed a reminder and I am smiling, it's still one of those teeth grinning smiles :D but I am thinking of the mercy we are given and how I need to try to have mercy on those who make me soooooo >:( mad I can scream. I'm so glad I have this Medina family and this board to come to, it was that or throw something across the room ;) |
| Re: Sometimes, it is hard to follow ones own advic |
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| Kathy |
| 10/13/03 at 08:53:57 |
| I sure know how you feel Cara! With some members of my family and Muslims, I was forever lowering myself and kissing [i]... uh wellyou know...[/i] just to keep peace. I was hating myself for it. When i turned 40 I just put a stop to all of it. Their behaviour was unacceptable and why should I just appear to support it. I will never forget the day I just put my foot down and decided not to take anymore of their nonsense. It was very liberating. I slowly had less and less contact and those who were the subject of my problems and they wanted less to do with me, because I was no longer supporting their behaviour. As onemuslimgirl said, I still am kind and patient, when I see them, as we are held accountable for our own deeds, but I do not go to the _ _ _ kissing level anymore. With the non Muslim holidays coming up, starting with halloween, it will be a stressful 3 months, as any revert knows. It is a hard time and may Allah swt protect me and show me how to be a good example. It is funny how I have found that I don't need them anymore, like I thought. For Allah swt has replaced them with someone even better. |
| Re: Sometimes, it is hard to follow ones own advic |
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| Samah |
| 10/15/03 at 14:38:04 |
| [slm] I hate to be the odd one out but I believe in being kind and treating others well, however, I also believe in reciprocity. If someone is continually mistreating me, being rude, or simply won't leave me alone, I think I owe it to them to tell them how I feel. If they don't take that into consideration, I can make choices about how I deal with them and/or whether I want to be around them or not. But that's just me... :P |
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